Negative pearl reaction....has it ever happened to you?

[cmd2014]

I recently went to a Christmas work party at a business colleague of DH's (drinks and appies after work Friday). It was definitely a party, with dim lights, music, etc., not an office based thing, even though it was held at their funky loft-style office downtown. So in trying to be supportive and appropriate (and festive), I dressed up. I wore my white metallic combo with this outfit:



So black suit dress, black blazer, less makeup (I went much more natural than in this photo), no heels...just some flat boots. A few of the men at the party were in suits, but most were in a dress shirt and pants, no jacket or tie (so I mayhave been a smidge overdressed....DH wasn't great at providing guidance about how dressy to go). But honestly, without the pearls, this is a suit I wear to work often.

I was caught off guard because over the course of the night I noticed that a number of the women at the party were making snarky remarks about the pearls. It wasn't about the outfit....it was all aimed at the pearls. They kept being specifically pointed out (sort of like "oh honey...if you're going to do that [I think I had mentionned travel], you'll have to lose the pearls!"). At first I thought I was imagining things, but then one of the men responded to one of the remarks by saying that he liked that I was wearing my pearls, as he had bought some for his wife and she never wore them....and when a guy notices that a woman is being snarky, you know it's not that subtle.

Has this ever happened to you???

 

[ckrickett]

First, in what poor taste for those women to make those comments within earshot. Whether or not you like pearls, to make comments about anyones appearance (especially when you were dressed nice and suitable) in such a manner is deplorable.

However what I have learned from hearing remarks like this (and it is the same as in Middle and Highschool) is the comments are most probably laced in jealousy.

Either way take comfort in the fact that you looked beautiful (based on your outfit you described) and you have an enviable trio there. Don;t give any mind to ladies who act in such a manner.

 

[dk168]

No, never, not with pearls or other jewellery, probably because most people assume they are fakes!

I do mix a few pieces of CZ with real diamonds, however, all the pearls are real.

DK

 

[Jambalaya]

Well, I think you look lovely. Pay no mind to them. The pearl set is gorgeous. Maybe it's like tall poppy syndrome. Tall Pearl Syndrome! i.e. they look so good that they are bound to attract attention, and as with all attention some of it comes from small, mean hearts.

Be glad you're not like that, and rock those pearls!

 

[LoversKites]

That is really pathetic them. I'm sorry you had a bad experience.

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

Those comments were uncalled for and insufferably rude. Be glad you do not count those "ladies" among your friends.

Next time wear BIGGER pearls!

cheers--Sharon

 

[Frost Me]

Oh jealousy…, nothing gets women stirred up like seeing another young women who has stunning taste, dresses like she got something or has made something of herself. The jealousy forces the snarky women to revaluate themselves, they don't want to do that. The snarky women realize they don't have their "A" game on, it is too much for them so the have to cut women down. Pearls are very chic, exotic, and have stood the test of time sad they don't understand this.




From "www.HabituallyChic.com"

 

[Fly Girl]

No, I've never had that happen to me. But, I almost never wear round white pearls.

I wonder if this would have happened if you had been wearing Tahitians? Most people don't recognize them as pearls.

As others have said, these rude people were jealous. Remember, the opinions of rude people do not count.

 

[pinkjewel]

No, I don't think I've ever had that happen to me, and I'm so sorry that those obviously jealous and rude women did that to you. The oufit with the pearls is very chic and elegant. I think that the three strand is very "power pearls" looking and they were just plain envious and probably a bit intimidated and that was why they reacted the way they did.

 

[bsomlo]

I don't even know what to say. I have lots of questions. I wonder if they thought/assumed the pearls were fake (and if they were, so what)? I wonder if they are so behind-the-times they think pearls are dowdy and old-fashioned? I wonder if anything new and different upsets their small world and shakes them up so much their first reaction is to cut it down to make themselves feel in control and powerful?

As I commented when you first posted this style you came up with, I find it striking and one I am planning on copying! It's GORGEOUS! Your whole ensemble is elegant and just beautiful. If only I'd see such styling in my everyday life. If I were at the party, I would have walked up to you, complimented your pearls, and started a deep conversation (if you were up for it) about everything pearl. My DH would have had to pull me away from you.

I really can't imagine where they were coming from. Were they trying to "help" you? Were they so incredibly intimidated they felt they had to attack you? So immature. Chacun a son gout. I don't cut down people's accessories if I don't like them. And I usually do not like them at all.

I think there is nothing more sexy, modern and powerful than a young woman wearing pearls. It's a drop dead beautiful sight to behold.

March on!

(My prediction, they're at home playing with pearls they've been gifted/handed down after seeing your outfit.)

 

[sarahb]

CMD--everyone has so eloquently stated all that needed to be said regarding this situation. I am sorry you had to experience this. Keep your head up, show 'em how its done & rock those gorgeous pearls.

 

[ennui]

I'm sorry those women were hurtful. It's jealousy. Women can be worse than cats when the claws come out. It's a shame.

I'm sure you were beautiful, CMD, otherwise they wouldn't have noticed.

 

[Bailey1856]

I agree with everyone. They are just jealous and next year wear bigger, triple strands (or more) and make sure you have a good response to these snarky comments. I hate letting people get away with rude, snarky comments.

I think your pearl trio is beautiful, Cmd. Please continue to weat them like that and ignore the haters.

 

[seaurchin]

Well, I've read through this thread twice and I still don't get it. Your pearls are gorgeous and the two small strands with a large strand gives them a modern twist. I don't see a thing there to make fun of but then what they said to you didn't really make any sense to me, either. I wondered if they were trying to joke around with you, a bit too familiar (from the drinking, perhaps) but not meaning unkindness. Like how pearls are thought to be proper so oh if you're going to get wild you'll have to get rid of those! Or maybe complimenting the pearls, like those must have cost a fortune so if you're going to travel too, you better sell that wonderful prize you've got there! So, like I said, I don't understand any of it. Did they say anything else?

Of course when you're actually there you pick up a lot of non-verbal context too such as tone of voice and facial expressions. Picking on someone for no reason at a holiday party is so trashy.

 

[bsomlo]

seaurchin -- you bring up good points. Alcohol loosens the tongue, usually in a bad way. And maybe they were complimenting you. Like, girlfriend, you better lose those pearls or everyone will be jealous. Or girlfriend, you better not travel with those pearls because they'll be stolen, they're so beautiful. Or something along those lines...?

 

[CRDKeshi]

Oh, cmd2014, I'm so sorry this happened to you, and yes, it happened to me twice this year within the same group of "close friends" no less. I was wearing casually, my baroque blue akoya pearls, jeans and flannels last time ... It's one of the nastiest human traits ... to try and lower everyone to the lowest common denominator. Perhaps some of the jealousy came from the fact that the MEN in the room seem to have noticed you and your pearls, and admired BOTH Your 3 pearl look is stunning, and you inspired me to get another petite metallic strand this week ... hold your head up and just come here to play pearls with us

 

[NonieMarie]

What jerks!

 

[Frost Me]

cmd2014, I am sorry too, I didn't state this in my earlier post. Again, you have raised the bar. The snarky women don't like to be challenged. The men in the room noticed you! Oh, the power of Pearls!

 

[mynattk]

Some women never get past the middle school drama. They continue to form alliances based on putting others down. Sounds like that's what was going on with these insecure ladies. Love the necklace combo. You've got plenty of admirers here.

 

[cmd2014]

I've never had that reaction to Tahitians. They clearly realized my pearls were real, and the attitude was almost that only uptight stepford 1950s women wear white pearls. They were primarily hipster wannabes (one actually asked me if my pearls were ironic). I'm not even sure who they were attached to at this party, given that it was mainly married middle aged business men networking and talking shop. But the pearls drew a strong negative reaction, for sure. Like I was wearing symbols of uptightness and/or oppression around my neck. I bit my tongue as it was a work function for DH, but it was bizarre. I think part of the issue was that I was the only spouse there, I rarely attend these things (for good reason!), and for the first couple of hours, the men all wanted to meet me. It was just when they wanted to talk shop, I tried to give them some privacy and mingled. That was when the jabs started. Next year DH is gonna be on his own for this one!!!

 

[Tucs]

Those were rude hipsters! They don't know anything about pearls, do they. It's too bad you didn't have a pleasant experience. I love your combo and would have appreciated very much being in the same room as you and your pearls!

 

[baby monster]

CMD2014, pay no attention to those fuddy-duddies. I've had comments along the lines of "why are you always wearing pearls?" and "pearls are for grandmas." Most people just don't "get" pearls the same way as diamonds or other precious stones. I just say that I like pearls and move on.

 

[Begonia]

Ah to heck with them.

If you looked like you do in the photo, then you looked fabulous. The pearls look amazing.

Honestly, sometimes women can be so catty...

 

[YC]

CMD2014,
I had mentioned in another thread that I love this look. It is very stylish. Definitely not a symbol of oppression!
I must say that their remarks are uncalled for and rude. Like many of the others who replied in this thread, I think that stemmed from jealousy (that you were well-dressed and they felt intimidated. Some people do not take it well if they appear in anyway inferior to another). Worse of all, at least one of the men ( may be someone's partner) noticed you and your pearls. I assume "partner" because I cannot comprehend why someone would be jealous if a male colleague who noticed another women's jewellery. I would ignore these women and their nonsense.

 

[Pearlescence]

Dismiss them from your thoughts totally, and make sure you do turn up next year, otherwise they've won, haven't they?
They are both horrible and pretty stupid to diss the wife of one of their colleagues. I feel sorry for the bloke who had bought his wife pearls and she never wore them. That's sad.

 

[bsomlo]

I've been thinking about the "ironic" comment all night. I think it's pretty funny. I'm not sure how I would have responded.

I think your modern and chic twist on classic went over their heads. Instead of "hipsters", they should be called "grumpsters".

 

[icy_jade]

Oh dear, sounds really bitchy and nasty. I feel bad that you met horrid people like that. What's wrong with them???

Forgot about them and continue wearing whatever you like. You look great and they are just jealous sourpusses.

 

[movie zombie]

your suit may have been tad too dressy but IMO pearls are always appropriate....perhaps these poor soulless women think pearls are for older women only. shame on them! on many counts! oh, and for the record: I wear pearls when I go bowling...one woman who is 93 calls them "beads" but likes them and others have told me one of the pairs of earrings is a "statement piece". my point is that YOU WEAR WHAT YOU WANT WHEN YOU WANT! dress and accessorize to please yourself.

 

[ennui]

"Are those pearls ironic?" "No, they are Akoya."

I'm sorry, cmd, but you definitely need to attend next year, otherwise, they've won. They might not even be there next year. Look at the bright side, you have all year to plan your outfit.

As for pearls symbolizing oppression? Huh? Didn't Kim K. pose nude, draped in dozens of pearl ropes?

 

[bsomlo]

PP is oozing "irony". Have you seen their Cyber Monday promotion page? A woman dressed in black wearing white pearls. Ha!