Needing some PS reassurance re bling purchase...

[anners11]

I'm going to say the same thing I told Niel in another thread:
Break your give-a-shitter.
It's nobody's business what jewelry you wear. I knew a woman who wore a fairly large engagement ring on each ring finger. One had been her mother's and she said she loved both rings so much she just wore both every day. When anyone gave her a hard time she asked them why they cared.

I'm in love with this and it has made my day!

In all honestly, it seems that most people assume I'm married any way, so I don't know how much difference a ring is going to make.

3 recent examples.
- I recently went to Vegas for a weekend getaway. I was purchasing a ticket to a show and the teller says, "Do you need a ticket for your husband?" Keep in mind, I'm standing in front of this person alone.

- My air conditioning broke last week and the HVAC guy comes out and tells me I probably need a new unit but I should talk it over with my husband first and let him know what we want to do.

- I'm in the process of building a house and there have been numerous incidents but most recently I was picking out carpet and hardwood. I found something I liked and my interior designer says "Well take a sample home and have your husband take a look at it and see if he likes it." My response, "I don't have a husband." Blank stare from her for about 20 seconds then she says, oh sorry I just assumed.


I really do appreciate everyone's responses and while there is a part of me that does care what others think, this part is trumped by my inner voice that's telling me "F it, you've worked your ass off, you want a ring, you can buy the ring and every time you look at it it'll make you happy. So screw it."

So I got official word that the bonus I was expecting is coming through, so now I'm officially diamond hunting and obsessively looking at settings trying to put together a design that'll make me happy but won't be too engagment-y. Yay!

 

[JaneSmith]

I read the thread, then went back to re-read your first post. It seems like your friend is less concerned with the ring looking like an engagement ring, and more about the size of your diamond. Am I reading that correctly? If so, that seems a bit odd. Is she worried someone will have to 'top it' if you become engaged, or does she just find it unseemly for someone to buy something nice and expensive for oneself?
I do understand that an engagement style ring is usually a cultural indicator of marital status, and using such a symbol out of context is slightly unusual. I personally find nothing wrong with it, but also realise that some people may simply be curious about something outside of the norm. For example, seeing someone with a bright pink mohawk might make me look a moment longer than usual, but only because it is unusual, not because I think too much of it.

To answer your question about my first diamond ring, yes, it was my first big diamond. However, every year since I turned 21 I had bought myself a nice piece of jewellery. Nothing too flash, but pretty things in gold, some with coloured stones and melee diamonds.
However, once I was engaged I for some reason stopped buying myself presents. I realised last year how silly this was, since hubby wasn't exactly on the ball with keeping up this fine tradition, so I splurged and bought myself a lovely DBTY necklace.

I'm pretty damn sure I would have bought myself a big fat diamond ring by now if I were still single. If there is one thing I've learned in life it is to rely on myself.

Buy your nice antique diamond, and have either of those two beautiful settings made for it, then come back with lots of pictures!

 

[LaraOnline]

I think buying yourself a diamond is the right thing to do.
You can wait a lifetime for a man to 'make it happen' for you...and should you meet that man, he may not want to buy you lovely diamonds! Not as often as you wish he would, anyway (I have that type of man).
Better to go directly to the source, and get what *you* want.

I look forward to seeing what you come up with design wise!

 

[iluvshinythings]

I'm in your boat. I bought an antique e-ring and I sometimes wear it on my RH. I really, really love that ring. I sometimes wear a cocktail ring on my LH. I don't care if anyone assumes I'm married. If they want to know, they can ask. I have a BF and I had a similar thoughts to yours about purchasing a ring for myself. I didn't want to intimidate him or make him feel "funny" about my rings. I decided that if he's that easily intimidated he's probably not the one for me anyway because I really, really like bling!

I wouldn't wait on a husband to buy a bigger house if I had the opportunity. I wouldn't wait on a husband to upgrade my car or take a vacation. Why should I wait around for a husband to buy some bling?

If I ever have another e-ring it will be special because of what it represents, not because of it's size.

 

[Smith1942]

Oh, Anners, my friend. You have touched on a subject close to my heart. That is, single ladies doing it for themselves. Pull up a chair.

I was single for most of my twenties and lived alone in London all those years, a somewhat friendless city. I worked in the media, a rather backstabby environment. With no one to cuddle me at night, or go out with me on the weekends, I had to do everything I wanted by myself. Yes, I had friends, but I had moved to London alone and in England everyone's permanently drunk, so if you want to go to the theatre or on a luxury vacation, you're stuffed. Bars, nightclubs, beer tours, fine.

I went to the theatre alone. Good thing too, because I can't think of anyone who would have accompanied me to My Fair Lady eight times. I went to concerts, museums and the ballet alone. I went to the gym and the pool alone. I ate out alone. I also went on ski and beach holidays with friends, but when it came to a luxury holiday in a top honeymoon destination on the other side of the world, I had to book that alone, too.

The Maldives is THE honeymoon destination for UK travellers. It is out of this world - total perfection, with white sands, lagoons, thatched beach huts over the water...and I wanted to go. I had never heard of anyone who was not on honeymoon going to the Maldives. Anyway, I saw a great deal on a fab island without a single supplement for someone occupying a room alone, and I booked for two weeks. It was a sandbar in the middle of the Indian Ocean. Admittedly, a couple of months before departure I panicked somewhat and told my friend I couldn't believe I was about to go and vacation alone in the middle of Honeymoon Paradise, and she laughed and said she'd come with me because she loved diving and what's a bit more money on her credit card, anyway? So she came. I think people assumed we were gay even though we had separate rooms, but I didn't care.

I have never, ever holidayed in any place that holds a candle to the Maldives, including the Seychelles where I went on my honeymoon. And I could not have foreseen that I would move to America, from where you can't go to the Maldives without five times the money and hassle. Had I not done it, it would have remained forever an unfulfilled dream.

Can you imagine what people were saying behind my back, going to the Maldives alone?? Like I gave a rat's furry a*se.

And....I have spent THOUSANDS on bling for myself. Large diamond studs, pear diamond halo necklace, antique brooches, tons of nice rings, items from Cartier, DeBeers, Tiffany, and possibly the largest collection of DBTY the world has ever seen. And nice clothes, and nice Folio Society books. Because you know what? If I had not taken it upon myself to buy the things I want, no one would have ever given me anything or taken me anywhere. Neither my parents nor my husband show love that way. I would basically have one ring, some raggy clothes, and some old paperbacks. And I'd still be wondering what the Maldives was like.

You get ONE life. You might as well sparkle while you live it. I come from an uber-traditional world and I have had some weird reactions to a lot of my choices, but I couldn't give a cr*p. I feel sorry for them and their narrow minds that cannot fathom any choices different from their own.

Be aware that more people than you would ever imagine are eaten up inside with jealousy, sometimes over the slightest thing. You just can't know what makes people behave the way they do, so just let them steam, and spend time with people who are supportive of your choices. Your friend DOES sound size-obsessed. If I were you I'd wear that ring every time you see her.

ETA: I also spent lots of money living alone in a luxury apartment in London's Docklands, right on the river. It had a decked balcony and cruise ships would go by. Like I said, you only get one life. If I had never travelled or bought all those things, I'd have loads more money in the bank. But if I died tonight, I'd leave behind a life stuffed with sparkle and luxury flats and paradise beaches, and since the last few years have taught me that life can be very short, I'm happy with that. I hope you, too, make decisions according to your own lights because in the end, the only reckoning that matters is yours. Don't let the many and varied insecurities of others distract you. See any negative comments about your diamond for what they are - petty and immature.

 

[movie zombie]

Oh, Anners, my friend. You have touched on a subject close to my heart. That is, single ladies doing it for themselves. Pull up a chair.

I was single for most of my twenties and lived alone in London all those years, a somewhat friendless city. I worked in the media, a rather backstabby environment. With no one to cuddle me at night, or go out with me on the weekends, I had to do everything I wanted by myself. Yes, I had friends, but I had moved to London alone and in England everyone's permanently drunk, so if you want to go to the theatre or on a luxury vacation, you're stuffed. Bars, nightclubs, beer tours, fine.

I went to the theatre alone. Good thing too, because I can't think of anyone who would have accompanied me to My Fair Lady eight times. I went to concerts, museums and the ballet alone. I went to the gym and the pool alone. I ate out alone. I also went on ski and beach holidays with friends, but when it came to a luxury holiday in a top honeymoon destination on the other side of the world, I had to book that alone, too.

The Maldives is THE honeymoon destination for UK travellers. It is out of this world - total perfection, with white sands, lagoons, thatched beach huts over the water...and I wanted to go. I had never heard of anyone who was not on honeymoon going to the Maldives. Anyway, I saw a great deal on a fab island without a single supplement for someone occupying a room alone, and I booked for two weeks. It was a sandbar in the middle of the Indian Ocean. Admittedly, a couple of months before departure I panicked somewhat and told my friend I couldn't believe I was about to go and vacation alone in the middle of Honeymoon Paradise, and she laughed and said she'd come with me because she loved diving and what's a bit more money on her credit card, anyway? So she came. I think people assumed we were gay even though we had separate rooms, but I didn't care.

I have never, ever holidayed in any place that holds a candle to the Maldives, including the Seychelles where I went on my honeymoon. And I could not have foreseen that I would move to America, from where you can't go to the Maldives without five times the money and hassle. Had I not done it, it would have remained forever an unfulfilled dream.

Can you imagine what people were saying behind my back, going to the Maldives alone?? Like I gave a rat's furry a*se.

And....I have spent THOUSANDS on bling for myself. Large diamond studs, pear diamond halo necklace, antique brooches, tons of nice rings, items from Cartier, DeBeers, Tiffany, and possibly the largest collection of DBTY the world has ever seen. And nice clothes, and nice Folio Society books. Because you know what? If I had not taken it upon myself to buy the things I want, no one would have ever given me anything or taken me anywhere. Neither my parents nor my husband show love that way. I would basically have one ring, some raggy clothes, and some old paperbacks. And I'd still be wondering what the Maldives was like.

You get ONE life. You might as well sparkle while you live it. I come from an uber-traditional world and I have had some weird reactions to a lot of my choices, but I couldn't give a cr*p. I feel sorry for them and their narrow minds that cannot fathom any choices different from their own.

Be aware that more people than you would ever imagine are eaten up inside with jealousy, sometimes over the slightest thing. You just can't know what makes people behave the way they do, so just let them steam, and spend time with people who are supportive of your choices. Your friend DOES sound size-obsessed. If I were you I'd wear that ring every time you see her.

ETA: I also spent lots of money living alone in a luxury apartment in London's Docklands, right on the river. It had a decked balcony and cruise ships would go by. Like I said, you only get one life. If I had never travelled or bought all those things, I'd have loads more money in the bank. But if I died tonight, I'd leave behind a life stuffed with sparkle and luxury flats and paradise beaches, and since the last few years have taught me that life can be very short, I'm happy with that. I hope you, too, make decisions according to your own lights because in the end, the only reckoning that matters is yours. Don't let the many and varied insecurities of others distract you. See any negative comments about your diamond for what they are - petty and immature.

long but OMG it is such a good read I just had to quote it!

 

[anners11]

Oh, Anners, my friend. You have touched on a subject close to my heart. That is, single ladies doing it for themselves. Pull up a chair.

I was single for most of my twenties and lived alone in London all those years, a somewhat friendless city. I worked in the media, a rather backstabby environment. With no one to cuddle me at night, or go out with me on the weekends, I had to do everything I wanted by myself. Yes, I had friends, but I had moved to London alone and in England everyone's permanently drunk, so if you want to go to the theatre or on a luxury vacation, you're stuffed. Bars, nightclubs, beer tours, fine.

I went to the theatre alone. Good thing too, because I can't think of anyone who would have accompanied me to My Fair Lady eight times. I went to concerts, museums and the ballet alone. I went to the gym and the pool alone. I ate out alone. I also went on ski and beach holidays with friends, but when it came to a luxury holiday in a top honeymoon destination on the other side of the world, I had to book that alone, too.

The Maldives is THE honeymoon destination for UK travellers. It is out of this world - total perfection, with white sands, lagoons, thatched beach huts over the water...and I wanted to go. I had never heard of anyone who was not on honeymoon going to the Maldives. Anyway, I saw a great deal on a fab island without a single supplement for someone occupying a room alone, and I booked for two weeks. It was a sandbar in the middle of the Indian Ocean. Admittedly, a couple of months before departure I panicked somewhat and told my friend I couldn't believe I was about to go and vacation alone in the middle of Honeymoon Paradise, and she laughed and said she'd come with me because she loved diving and what's a bit more money on her credit card, anyway? So she came. I think people assumed we were gay even though we had separate rooms, but I didn't care.

I have never, ever holidayed in any place that holds a candle to the Maldives, including the Seychelles where I went on my honeymoon. And I could not have foreseen that I would move to America, from where you can't go to the Maldives without five times the money and hassle. Had I not done it, it would have remained forever an unfulfilled dream.

Can you imagine what people were saying behind my back, going to the Maldives alone?? Like I gave a rat's furry a*se.

And....I have spent THOUSANDS on bling for myself. Large diamond studs, pear diamond halo necklace, antique brooches, tons of nice rings, items from Cartier, DeBeers, Tiffany, and possibly the largest collection of DBTY the world has ever seen. And nice clothes, and nice Folio Society books. Because you know what? If I had not taken it upon myself to buy the things I want, no one would have ever given me anything or taken me anywhere. Neither my parents nor my husband show love that way. I would basically have one ring, some raggy clothes, and some old paperbacks. And I'd still be wondering what the Maldives was like.

You get ONE life. You might as well sparkle while you live it. I come from an uber-traditional world and I have had some weird reactions to a lot of my choices, but I couldn't give a cr*p. I feel sorry for them and their narrow minds that cannot fathom any choices different from their own.

Be aware that more people than you would ever imagine are eaten up inside with jealousy, sometimes over the slightest thing. You just can't know what makes people behave the way they do, so just let them steam, and spend time with people who are supportive of your choices. Your friend DOES sound size-obsessed. If I were you I'd wear that ring every time you see her.

ETA: I also spent lots of money living alone in a luxury apartment in London's Docklands, right on the river. It had a decked balcony and cruise ships would go by. Like I said, you only get one life. If I had never travelled or bought all those things, I'd have loads more money in the bank. But if I died tonight, I'd leave behind a life stuffed with sparkle and luxury flats and paradise beaches, and since the last few years have taught me that life can be very short, I'm happy with that. I hope you, too, make decisions according to your own lights because in the end, the only reckoning that matters is yours. Don't let the many and varied insecurities of others distract you. See any negative comments about your diamond for what they are - petty and immature.

First off, this is an awesome post and so my life right now. Thanks Smith1942!

Second, I feel like "Single ladies doing it for themselves: You get ONE life. You might as well sparkle while you live it." would be a perfect slogan for the PS Single Ladies club, if there were such a thing.

AND I've been plotting and planning the last few days and think I have come up with a solid plan for my bling project. It's either going to be a 3 stone or a 5 stone. Probably 3 stone.

Last week I bought a vintage Cartier Trinity off of ebay for super cheap and it fits me like a glove. Yay! I was perusing the DBL website and saw a 3 stone ring that used K,faint brown stones set in platinum with RG accents and fell in love. It's way out of my price range but I think it's the direction I'm going to go in. Yes I love antique stones and this will be MRBs but I think it will help with the mind-clean aspect of things. The K,faint brown color and the fact that the stones are MRB just seem more RHR to me. And it'll go perfectly with my new-to-me trinity. I'll keep you all posted!

 

[rosetta]

I didn't meet my husband until I was 29. I wasn't content to live under a rock preceding this fine event so I too would strongly advocate doing whatever the hell you want.

I had no interest in diamonds until I was looking to see what kind of engagement ring I wanted. Then I found pricescope and the rest is history.

Smith, that's it. I'm going to the Maldives. Might have to take the pesky husband along though...

 

[Rosebloom]

Sooooo glad you're going ahead with the ring.

I met my husband at 19 and got married at 24. Eleven years later, I still don't have a big diamond! I am head over heels in love with jewelry and diamonds and my biggest rock is a .6ct! So, in addition to the extremely important reason that you absolutely should do what makes you happy, there's also the practical reason that should you decide to marry in your future other spending priorities might come up.

Carpe blingum!

 

[Smith1942]

I didn't meet my husband until I was 29. I wasn't content to live under a rock preceding this fine event so I too would strongly advocate doing whatever the hell you want.

I had no interest in diamonds until I was looking to see what kind of engagement ring I wanted. Then I found pricescope and the rest is history.

Smith, that's it. I'm going to the Maldives. Might have to take the pesky husband along though...

That IS a pity. Means you can't shag the island's dive instructor. (In my defence, I'd just come out of a horrid relationship.)

 

[Smith1942]

Last week I bought a vintage Cartier Trinity [/b]off of ebay for super cheap and it fits me like a glove. Yay! I was perusing the DBL website and saw a 3 stone ring that used K,faint brown stones set in platinum with RG accents and fell in love. It's way out of my price range but I think it's the direction I'm going to go in. Yes I love antique stones and this will be MRBs but I think it will help with the mind-clean aspect of things. The K,faint brown color and the fact that the stones are MRB just seem more RHR to me. And it'll go perfectly with my new-to-me trinity. I'll keep you all posted!

Congratulations on becoming a member of the Cartier club! Show us, show us! The SMTB forum awaits!

 

[Smith1942]

Sooooo glad you're going ahead with the ring.

I met my husband at 19 and got married at 24. Eleven years later, I still don't have a big diamond! I am head over heels in love with jewelry and diamonds and my biggest rock is a .6ct! So, in addition to the extremely important reason that you absolutely should do what makes you happy, there's also the practical reason that should you decide to marry in your future other spending priorities might come up.

Carpe blingum!

Carpe blingum! I LOVE it!!

 

[iluvshinythings]

Oh, Anners, my friend. You have touched on a subject close to my heart. That is, single ladies doing it for themselves. Pull up a chair.

I was single for most of my twenties and lived alone in London all those years, a somewhat friendless city. I worked in the media, a rather backstabby environment. With no one to cuddle me at night, or go out with me on the weekends, I had to do everything I wanted by myself. Yes, I had friends, but I had moved to London alone and in England everyone's permanently drunk, so if you want to go to the theatre or on a luxury vacation, you're stuffed. Bars, nightclubs, beer tours, fine.

I went to the theatre alone. Good thing too, because I can't think of anyone who would have accompanied me to My Fair Lady eight times. I went to concerts, museums and the ballet alone. I went to the gym and the pool alone. I ate out alone. I also went on ski and beach holidays with friends, but when it came to a luxury holiday in a top honeymoon destination on the other side of the world, I had to book that alone, too.

The Maldives is THE honeymoon destination for UK travellers. It is out of this world - total perfection, with white sands, lagoons, thatched beach huts over the water...and I wanted to go. I had never heard of anyone who was not on honeymoon going to the Maldives. Anyway, I saw a great deal on a fab island without a single supplement for someone occupying a room alone, and I booked for two weeks. It was a sandbar in the middle of the Indian Ocean. Admittedly, a couple of months before departure I panicked somewhat and told my friend I couldn't believe I was about to go and vacation alone in the middle of Honeymoon Paradise, and she laughed and said she'd come with me because she loved diving and what's a bit more money on her credit card, anyway? So she came. I think people assumed we were gay even though we had separate rooms, but I didn't care.

I have never, ever holidayed in any place that holds a candle to the Maldives, including the Seychelles where I went on my honeymoon. And I could not have foreseen that I would move to America, from where you can't go to the Maldives without five times the money and hassle. Had I not done it, it would have remained forever an unfulfilled dream.

Can you imagine what people were saying behind my back, going to the Maldives alone?? Like I gave a rat's furry a*se.

And....I have spent THOUSANDS on bling for myself. Large diamond studs, pear diamond halo necklace, antique brooches, tons of nice rings, items from Cartier, DeBeers, Tiffany, and possibly the largest collection of DBTY the world has ever seen. And nice clothes, and nice Folio Society books. Because you know what? If I had not taken it upon myself to buy the things I want, no one would have ever given me anything or taken me anywhere. Neither my parents nor my husband show love that way. I would basically have one ring, some raggy clothes, and some old paperbacks. And I'd still be wondering what the Maldives was like.

You get ONE life. You might as well sparkle while you live it. I come from an uber-traditional world and I have had some weird reactions to a lot of my choices, but I couldn't give a cr*p. I feel sorry for them and their narrow minds that cannot fathom any choices different from their own.

Be aware that more people than you would ever imagine are eaten up inside with jealousy, sometimes over the slightest thing. You just can't know what makes people behave the way they do, so just let them steam, and spend time with people who are supportive of your choices. Your friend DOES sound size-obsessed. If I were you I'd wear that ring every time you see her.

ETA: I also spent lots of money living alone in a luxury apartment in London's Docklands, right on the river. It had a decked balcony and cruise ships would go by. Like I said, you only get one life. If I had never travelled or bought all those things, I'd have loads more money in the bank. But if I died tonight, I'd leave behind a life stuffed with sparkle and luxury flats and paradise beaches, and since the last few years have taught me that life can be very short, I'm happy with that. I hope you, too, make decisions according to your own lights because in the end, the only reckoning that matters is yours. Don't let the many and varied insecurities of others distract you. See any negative comments about your diamond for what they are - petty and immature.

I completely agree with all of the above and I love the "sparkle while you live it" quote. Smith1942, I wish I had "met" you years ago.

Before I met my BF, I went on vacation by myself. I was recently divorced and still trying to figure out how to live as a single person. I had never in my life been on a real vacation by myself and I was scared and nervous. My best friend told me I'd look a loser and my mother told me I was going to get abducted and sold into white slavery. The safe thing to do would have been to stay home and do projects around the house, but I wanted to go to Europe and I had the time off and the money. I booked a Mediterranean cruise and had a blast. I wasn't lonely for a second and made friends that I'm still in contact with to this day. Being single went from something I had dreaded and feared for years to something I thoroughly enjoyed. Lemon/Lemonade

There is nothing I regret about that vacation and there's nothing I regret about any of my bling purchases either.

 

[movie zombie]

[quote="Smith1942|1370364049|3458833]..............That IS a pity. Means you can't shag the island's dive instructor. (In my defence, I'd just come out of a horrid relationship.)[/quote]


LOL!

 

[NTave]

Listen, I'm single. I have some nice enough pieces that i bought myself, and wear a 3 stone engagement ring on my right hand..it was bought by myself and my ex fiancé..who did some horrible enough things that he told me to keep it. Do I care what people think? Nope. Do I get comments? Sometimes. The loudest being a co worker who wears big bling, but the quality of my smaller piece is nicer. I've lived long enough on earth and learned enough not to wait for someone else to get the things I want. I'm hoping to save enough for a honker someday..and I'll wear in on my left hand, single or not.

 

[LaraOnline]

Smith, I got the 'stand up and applaud' feeling while reading your post!