Need suggestions on asking her parent for her hand in marriage

[suchairman]

Hi Everyone,

Getting straight to the point. I have only a short time before I pop the question. But before I do it I want to ask both her mom & dad''s blessings. My future fiance comes from a very traditional family and I feel that its the right thing to do, but I just need a little help as to how to initiate it. By the way they are from Texas and I''m from LA. I''ll see them for Thanksgiving Day if it helps any... I really don''t want to do it over the phone it seems like a cop-out to me? Any suggestions?

 

[Arlington]

Do it in person if you can. I did it over the phone and it was fine, but I did have an opportunity to do it a month earlier in person and didn't pull the trigger. I do regret that a bit.

When I did it, I called them up out of the blue and asked both to get on the phone at the same time. Then I explained what I was planning on doing, and told them I wanted to tell them ahead of time. I specifically did not ask for permission, because I didn't believe that was the right thing to do. But that's a personal preference. Many people also feel that you only have to ask the Dad, but I asked both because I felt they would appreciate it more that way.

 

[suchairman]

Thanks Arlington, you are a big help! I was planning on talking to both parents together as well but, I just don't want her to be around when I do it because I don't want her to have any expectations whats so ever. Thanks again! you're a big help.

 

[Arlington]

I was also concerned about my girlfriend finding out. So since I was calling them from another part of the country anyway, I waited until practically the last minute. I didn't (and still don't) think her mother could have kept the secret for longer than a day or two.

But of course you run the risk of not being able to get in touch with them if you cut it too close.