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Need Some Christmas Advice

random_thought

random_thought

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jul 5, 2010
Messages
1,065
So our family is a having a tough year financially like many people are; so my sisters and parents agreed for the siblings and bils to do secret santas for Christmas instead of having to buy something for everyone, which is great! So last night we went to visit one of my sisters houses and under her tree she had at least 5 or 6 big gifts for us and our baby (which is due in may). I know she had drawn my name but the spending limit was 25 dollars and she also got my dh some gifts.

My question is...do I need to get her gifts now? How many should I get? Should I not bother and just bring some cookies and yummy treats over?
 
Personally I feel you're not obligated EVER to return gifts at the level/expense of what you receive. Gift giving is a gesture of goodwill, not an obligation. If your sister went overboard, then it's because she genuinely wanted to and you should accept them with grace. If she's not the person you drew for as SS, I think a thoughtful card expressing your love for her would be appropriate and baked goods are always appreciated. If she is the person you drew for SS, then I think you should purchase a gift within the limits of your budget (even if it's less than the max assigned to the swap) and still give her the card.

As she's your sister (and it seems like you're close) then she should understand the financial stress you're under.
 
Thanks for the advice HH, I always feel like I stick my foot in my mouth around the holidays regarding these things :)
 
perhaps she went overboard as an act of kindness as she knows your financial situation? perhaps she wanted to make sure you and yours had a nice christmas? just take the yummies and thank her profusely for a lovely christmas?

MoZo
 
I agree with the ladies above. I am that sister in my family. This is my niece's first christmas (and my only niece) and I went way overboard with the presents for the baby. I would never expect my brother or SIL to spend the same amount on me and I know that they could not afford to. I did it because I love them and my niece and I got a lot of enjoyment out of doing the shopping. I certainly wouldn't turn down yummy treats though...

Just wanted to give you perspective from the other side. She did it because she loves you and your baby! Enjoy the presents and attention!
 
I understand your situation, but I would stick to the plan and just buy for the person you drew... You could explain that you thought you guys were just doing the secret santa thing, etc... and if she says she did it just 'cuz, then ok! I also feel (like HH) that there is never a obligation to give gifts... other wise it's not a gift- it's a chore. If she wanted to give them, then be happy to receive them!! Enjoy your Christmas!
 
Didnt read the other post but I say dont buy anymore gifts. Some nice homemade treats from your kitchen would always
be welcome though (especially at our house). Being a gracious receiver can really make a gift giver feel good.
 
Perhaps your sister is just having trouble adjusting to the new "rules"? I know I did, when my family switched to drawing names... and my mother still has trouble with it. So speaking as someone who may have been in your sister's shoes, my recommendation is that you stick to the plan. At some point it'll get easier for her and the rest of you to enjoy this alternative way of celebrating.

BTW we've always had the drawings for adults only; we're all free to give gifts to the kids. That always helped those of us who enjoy selecting and giving gifts as a big part of the holiday celebration.
 
You know, every year my family and I vow to do a smaller Christmas. Every year it is the same size. This year I truly DO NOT have the money to do my normal types of Christmas. I tried to find things my family either genuinely wanted/needed or stuff I KNEW they would like, but I only did one or two things per person. I feel bad that I wasn't able to do more, but it's just not in the cards for me this year. I firmly feel though that you can show your love in other ways in the season. A sincere, heartfelt card, perhaps baked goods, or photos of you and your family at home, or something handmade.
 
I would graciously accept her gifts and maybe come up with something special to do for her that costs your time but not money. Taking her homemade goodies is a great idea. If you drew her name I would stick to the $25 limit as agreed.
 
I'd stick with the original plan and do what you agreed on. I wouldn't feel obligated to match your sister gift for gift or dollar for dollar. If she chose to go above the agreed upon amount, that's her thing, not something that needs to be reciprocated.
 
I am sure that she had such joy in buying you the gifts. I have done that before. Just say thank you, give her a hug, and tell her
she is an awesome sister.
 
Luv2sparkle's right! SHE LOVES YOU! Very sweet of her & she wanted to make you happy. So give her a gigantic hug or 2 & some yummy cookies or something & tell her you love her! It's easy to give, much harder to receive gracefully. Forget about your temporary financial situation & concentrate on the love she expressed this way. I'd do the same for my sister, in fact, have done, when she & family were poor as churchmice. With gratitude for being able to help at all.

Merry Christmas!!!!!

--- Laurie
 
No, you don't have to get her gifts. my hubs and i are also in a difficult situation financially. My sister always gets me lovely birthday gifts and a good xmas gift if she gets my name, but she also knows that i can't afford to get her the same caliber of gift. She would probably be upset if i spent a lot of money on her, because she knows my situation financially, which is why i love her.
 
Indeed, i believe that the home made treats and the card is a great and very thoughtful and meaningful gift, which will make your sister very happy! I know that i'd be very happy to receive that after having offered great gifts to my family ::) It has a personal touch that makes it very unique and special... Merry Christmas to you and your family dear...
 
sometimes i think we've gotten away.....way to far away....from the spirit of christmas. my mother grew up very poor in missouri during the depression. a christmas present was an orange...a solitary orange. and she was grateful to receive it. it represented sacrifice on the part of her family to give her this treat.

don't let "things" be representative of the spirit of christmas: your homemade goodies are more representative of that spirit than any store bought present could or ever would be.

MoZo
 
Thank you everyone so much for the advice! She eats gluten free so I am going to try to find some yummy gluten free treats to make for her :)
 
random_thought|1292703683|2800481 said:
Thank you everyone so much for the advice! She eats gluten free so I am going to try to find some yummy gluten free treats to make for her :)
Click to expand...

:appl: :appl: Excellent idea...
 
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