My MIL was laid off a few months ago and has been struggling with finding a job ever since. She also recently found out she has diabetes and I know she has a heart condition even though she won’t tell anyone about it. So, she’s been very depressed. I have invited her to all of my doctor appointments because it puts a smile on her face. She loves hearing the baby’s heartbeat or seeing her on the screen and I appreciate her company.
Here are the two scenarios I need your opinions on. This is based on a conversation my FI had with her yesterday where she told him that she feels really badly because we aren’t accepting her help:
1. For the past month, she has been asking me to call her so she can come over, do laundry, and clean the house. The problem with this is that I’m not very good with accepting help. It makes me feel incredibly awkward, uncomfortable, and bad to ask her to come over and do my laundry. Granted that if I spend the whole day doing house chores I feel like a bus ran me over the next day. But I’m still not at a point where I can’t do things for myself. Plus, there’s something about having an in-law sorting through your underoos that doesn’t sit right. She feels really bad that we won’t let her come over to help. I know the real problem is that she is feeling useless especially with not being able to find a job. So I don’t know if I should just let her come over to clean/help out. Would you?
2. She saves coins. At first I thought she was nuts but then she tells me that she managed to save $420. That’s great. But then she says that she’s going to deposit the money and write us a check for the amount. She wants that money to go towards the baby. This makes me really uncomfortable because as I mentioned she lost her job, they were recently robbed for $2,500, and FIL is working extra hours to make up for the robbery. They could really use this money. So I thanked her but turned it down which apparently made her cry. She still really wants us to take the money. Should we just accept it? I feel really bad taking money from her knowing their situation.
I’m mostly just looking for opinions. My mom thinks I should just let her come over and help out and that I should take the money because she’s doing it from her heart. But it just makes me feel uncomfortable. What do you think?