Need help with stray cat

[CJ2008]

Zoe - I agree, the dry food seems good as far as the protein. But it seems there's so much more to what makes a good food...it's overwhelming once you start researching it! It does make it a little harder when you try to keep costs low and it knocks out some of the more premium brands. That's why I'm hoping the experts here on food and kitties will give me their opinion on the one I bought.

Yes, I'm going slow and gradual with the kitties - more out of protecting my older kitty from stress. He's had an excellent, stress-free life for the most part and I'm not about to stress him out now. But I'm not giving up easily because I know it can take a while.

Gypsy - is it weird that when I first read that you're having a Feline Behavioral Therapist coming over I thought, how fun! I love psychology of any kind, and love that your kitties are going to get that kind of help. I hope that it is effective for you and fixes the issues you've got going on so you can fully enjoy your whole household. I hope you'll post about it!

I laughed at the descriptions of your cats - loved the cat TV especially haha Anyway - thanks for your insight. And yes, I am being consistent with teaching Rattie what is acceptable and what is not. I know the better I teach him now, the more I will enjoy him later.

Keeping you guys updated is the least I can do, you have helped me out so much and it's so comforting to have you guys to share all this with.

Imdanny I agree with you about me being the boss. I think it's about not worrying about being "liked" and doing what's necessary to teach them what is acceptable and what isn't. I do think as far as how the two cats get along, that applies to a certain degree - but I do want to minimize the chance of them going at each other by having them get used to each other while protected by the gate.

LGK I'm picturing Rat run around your house like crazy, he must look so funny - I know my older kitty used to do that and I always thought it was so funny. He would run up to a pole that was in the middle of the living room and climb all the way up it - he looked like an absolute nut. We'll see how Rattie's personality pans out - but like you, I am very deliberate about touching him, massaging his paws, etc., because I want to be able to handle him as easily as possible. And yes - believe me, I'd separate them immediately if they started fighting - I am not sure that I can take them hissing at each other or "looking" like they're going to fight for too long, either...I would get too anxious. I'll have to work on keeping my energy calm when I finally put them together.

 

[JewelFreak]

Keeping calm is the key for putting them together, CJ. If you're wired, they'll sense it. Besides, the world is not going to end no matter what they do.

Honestly, if you can put Rattie in a crate in the house & let your other cat get to know him that way -- maybe an hour a few times per day for a couple days, then he can go back in the garage till next time -- it will ease things. Having done it many ways, I can promise this works best. Let him loose in the house after that but do not force them to interact. They'll take care of it on their own.

There will be some hissing -- but it's NORMAL! Don't worry. They don't have human language; this is theirs. Once you let Rattie in, he'll probably hide for a bit; there may be more hissing or a growl & tail lashing -- all of that is how cats adjust & take each other's measure. It is perfectly natural. You're anxious because you project worse into the future -- let them sort it out themselves. 95% of the time it works just fine.

As to food, Natural Choice is good! I fed it to my dogs for many years. You can get wound up in nutritional theories to the point of paralysis. That's a healthy food. I do not go for homemade cat food unless one is a real expert: cats' nutritional needs are complex. I saw a tv special once on how pet food companies research food ingredients & pet requirements -- it is, in fact, very professional & scientific. They get maligned & most of the time don't deserve it. I think leaving it to the professionals makes my cats healthier.

Mainly -- STOP WORRYING. He's a kitten, constrained by an e-collar & crated. Yes, he'll blow off steam. Good -- he's a healthy boy. Remember -- a cat's brain is the size of a walnut, without room for human subtleties; he will NOT be traumatized by anything but physical abuse or starvation.

Basically, relax & stop fussing, girl -- let him be a cat. He & your older cat will be great friends if you relax & let 'em!!! You're a loving mama!

--- Laurie

 

[CJ2008]

Oh, Laurie, I love your tough love!

Thank you - it really helps me when I am reminded that these things are normal. I know I am extremely over-protective - it is with your encouragement and the others here that I got to the point of even considering having them meet. I told DH a couple of weeks ago that this exercise is growth for me too.

But analysis paralysis is my specialty! haha I guess I just don't want to make any "glaring" mistakes with ingredients - I really am trying to keep it simple!

I may have asked this before - but as far as the crate - it's carrier size. Won't Rattie feel trapped in it if my other cat goes after him or whatever? Just want to make sure it's not too small a crate for what you're suggesting. To tell you the truth, I am dying to have Rattie walk around or be IN the house. I want to SEE him here in the house.

 

[CJ2008]

I may have asked this before - but as far as the crate - it's carrier size. Won't Rattie feel trapped in it if my other cat goes after him or whatever? Just want to make sure it's not too small a crate...

for an introduction...

Bump...

 

[Matata]

CJ...when I introduced the newest kitten, I put Juba in the crate and let the new kitten approach instead of putting the new kitty in the crate. That may resolve your fear of Rattie feeling trapped. If he's loose, he will feel in control of the situation.

 

[CJ2008]

oh, my goodness, Matata, I am in love with your kitties! I've seen pictures of them before, but I just love this picture!

Well...I guess my concern is mainly whether the carrier is just too small and likely to make either cat feel trapped. Plus, Rattie seems much more relaxed and curious - just to give you an example, today I placed a blanket with Rattie's scent in the house - and one with my other cat's scent in the garage. Rattie was walking up to it and standing by it. My older cat sniffed it about two seconds and walked away - it's like he's in denial. So I'm thinking I would still like my older cat to feel "in control."

 

[Matata]

I tried a regular sized carrier with I introduced my 2nd cat, Taji, to Juba and it worked fine. A week before the first introduction, put the carrier in the garage for Rattie to go in and out at will for a few days and then allow your other cat to do the same. They'll at least be familiar with each others' scents and Rattie would probably be more comfortable being closed up if he's familiar with the scent of the other cat.

 

[Matata]

Forgot to add that at the intro, have some treats available to give both cats and they'll associate each other better with a positive experience.

 

[CJ2008]

Thanks, Matata - I'll try that.

 

[JewelFreak]

CJ, cats don't feel trapped in small spaces. They LIKE them. Makes 'em feel safe -- as when they cram themselves into a tiny box till they look like bread left to rise too long. Rattie would not feel trapped at all, but in a cozy place.

If Rattie is crated at first, nobody will get hurt -- wouldn't anyway -- but there's no chance of problems! I used to get tied up in knots worrying about ephemeral disasters just as you do. Through decades of dealing w/both cats & dogs I've learned that it's NEVER as bad as I imagine, and 99% of the time, much better! After feeling like a fool for being such a marshmallow a million times, I made myself think about the present & actual conditions, rather than my own fears. You gotta do the same -- you'll be much much prouder of yourself & happpy for having made it work.

It helps if you guard against anthropomorphizing. They do not think like people. Cats are wonderful but they think c a t, not human. No trauma over new things, just a period of adjustment while they figure out the lay of the land. No subconscious fears. I adopted (well, bullied my parents into adopting...) my first cat when I was 6. Been doing it for the 50+ yrs since and NEVER had a cat fight yet. The worst was one resident cranky cat who HATED the old fellow we took in several years later. I feared WWIII -- all I got was lots of hissing & Resident Cat ran from the room every time New Cat entered. For the rest of her life. NC completely ignored RC when his offers of friendship were rejected. And that was that. Cats are solitary by nature -- it was RC's choice to go somewhere else rather than occupy any room where NC was. Okay, who am I to argue? She still got attention whenever she wanted it. Neither cat seemed unsettled by the arrangement. So all my imagined terrors made only me scared.

No reason not to Just Do It, right? We're holding your hand. No cat will be hurt. Realize that all their reactions are NORMAL; you might be surprised at their friendship quickly.

--- Laurie

I showed you how my current ones were introduced -- and here was the result within a few days:

 

[CJ2008]

Love the picture, Laurie, what cuties they are!

Well, I did the carrier thing last night. RC walked up close to it, hissed, and walked away. Rattie seems very curious about the whole thing - no hissing on his end.

I plan on putting the carrier out again tonight and see what happens - I'll keep trying.

Just so as to not bore everyone to tears with every minor development I'll post back once there's some kind of change or progress.

Thank you, Laurie, Gypsie, Matata, Yssie, Imdanny, LGK, Zoe, EVERYONE (in case there's anyone I missed!) - you all helped me out so much.

 

[JewelFreak]

Good Girl, CJ!!!! Keep it up for about 4 days, I'll bet you won't get much reaction by then from your resident cat. They'll do some dancing once you let Rattie in loose but honestly, just the usual cat stuff. I'll bet the rent you end up with absolutely nothing alarming & you'll have learned a lot of good experience for next time. (Groan.)

--- Laurie

 

[zhuzhu]

JF,

I envy your luck with cats! However I am the victim mom of our cat Meimei - whom turned chronically paranoid/defensive after her traumatic experience at the foster home where we rescued her from.

She was taken in by friend of her original owners. The foster mom has 2 resident cats, one of whom is a bully from hell. The apartment was small (< 600sf) and the bully HATED Meimei with passion. He physically attacks her day in and out for over 3 month. So hard that he slapped her collar off her neck. Meimei was once a very sweet cat, but since that horrible 3+ months experience, she has change forever.

She was hiding and hissing/growling/swatting at our 3 resident cars for just walking by for over 8 months upon joining us. Now she has been with us for over one year, she STILL hisses and swats at our girl cat who is similar to her size and age. The boy cats offered friendship that she refused so they gave up. Our girl cat however still wants to pay with MeiMei (no idea why) and she gets beat on the head very often. No blood, but still violent!

So I think cats CAN be traumatized and have personality changed. Not often and it takes a lot, but it does happen.

 

[Laughinggravy0]

Well I'm a month late - but you ask if anyone knows what type of cat he is, he is a GLORious cat, and if that isn't a breed, it is now.

That is one lovely looking moggy. I mean looks are just looks and a cat needs love and care even if its pug ugly, but still, such a fab looking cat. I love the tufty ears and the huge eyes. S/he's looking at you very openly.

I haven't read all the way through the thread to the end, so I do hope all worked out well....

 

[JewelFreak]

Zhuzhu, I said cats aren't gonna be traumatized by wearing an ecollar; they can be by starvation or mistreatment -- the latter by animals or people. It sounds like yours had a very tough time. She may never go back to being the way she was, probably not, but I'll still bet she'll continue to improve. It can take cats a looong time to change or adjust. Much longer than dogs.

Perhaps she'll never be great buds w/other cats, but you have seen some gain in that she's not swatting the boys. That took 8 months. Eventually she might give up on your female too. You sound like you've handled it well by not trying to force the issue & letting them work it out themselves. Animals usually do anyway & our interference in animal-to-animal social difficulties often slows things down more than helping. (This doesn't include keeping them safe. Her foster home was pretty negligent not to separate the aggressive guys from the aggressees. If they didn't have room to keep them separate the responsible thing would have been not to foster all of them. Pretty sad!)

9 times out of 10, though, new cats work fine with resident ones -- or at least they arrive at a truce of sorts. It's always happiest if they get along well, but I've been willing to accept less to give them secure homes, as long as they seem content otherwise & there's peace in the house. There is, in the majority of cases.

--- Laurie

 

[CJ2008]

laughing - thank you! he really is adorable. We're still at a standstill. I have my pet sitter coming over with a friend of hers on Monday to look at him. I trust my pet sitter 100% so I know this person will be a good home - BUT - she's got 3 other cats...so I don't think it's the ideal situation. But anyway, we'll see what happens.

On a quick update...

RC still totally wants to ignore Rattie. But today I put Rattie in the carrier and brought him out to the patio (RC's favorite spot in the house, where he spends HOURS every day). I thought he was going to get really pissed off and leave, and he did, but came back when I called him in a very loving voice. I also gave him a few treats and then I walked away. RC stayed there for a while - didn't approach the carrier again, but the fact that he STAYED at all, is progress.

Funny how I do NOT have this type of patience for people.

 

[Smo]

This thread is awesome, I love hearing stories like this and good on you CJ for rescuing this kitty! Can't wait to read more about Rattie!

 

[CJ2008]

oh, thanks Smo! My other thread about finding him a good home gives you a little bit more of an update...