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Need help with ring sizing for GF's E-ring!

AM1102

Rough_Rock
Joined
Oct 6, 2016
Messages
26
Hi all,

Hoping this should be my last thread asking for help. I've made a couple of threads and have gotten so much help from you all.

My question is regarding ring sizing. I am trying to keep it a 100% secret, and really have no way of finding out my GF's true ring size. I do however, have a good place to start. Last year I purchased her a 925 Tiffany & Co ring, which she wears on her right ring finger. I initially bought her a 4.5, but we ended up exchanging it for a 5 because she felt that it fit better. So naturally, I would assume that a 5 would be a good fit for her left ring finger as well, but I've read and heard from numerous people that your dominant hand (her right) is typically a half size or so larger, so now I'm thinking about going with a 4.5 - 4.75.

When the T&CO ring is on her finger, there seems to be some room and space between the ring and her finger. However, it seems to be pretty snug when she takes it off/puts it on over her knuckle area. With that being said, what "part" of the finger typically is larger on ones dominant hand? Is it the tissue/muscle area where the ring sits, or the knuckle/joint area?

I really want to get it right the first time, and do not want to have the ring resized. I am working with a jeweler in NYC who has told me that he would prefer no one but him touch the ring, so if I do need to get it resized after the fact, it would require a trip to NYC. Even so, I would prefer to only have it done once.

What would you guys recommend I do here? If I do go with the 5, and it ends up being a tad bit loose, how do you guys feel about inserts/sizing beads? Is this something that is typically done on cheaper/lower end rings, or are they typically acceptable on quality E-rings?

Any help would be appreciated! Thanks
 

distracts

Ideal_Rock
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I would recommend taking her to a jeweler and finding out her ring size. If you absolutely must have it be a surprise, get a ring with a plain shank as that is better for resizing. While there is a "typical" size difference between fingers, it definitely doesn't apply to everyone.

As for what part of the finger is larger, it varies person to person. My knuckles are nearly a whole size larger than where my ring rests, but my ring has to be sized to get over my knuckles. Some people have fingers that are widest where their ring rests. However it's usually the same hand-to-hand, so if her knuckles are larger on her right hand they are probably also larger on her left. The gap will be less when she is also wearing a wedding band.
 

AM1102

Rough_Rock
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Oct 6, 2016
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distracts|1476286233|4086137 said:
I would recommend taking her to a jeweler and finding out her ring size. If you absolutely must have it be a surprise, get a ring with a plain shank as that is better for resizing. While there is a "typical" size difference between fingers, it definitely doesn't apply to everyone.

As for what part of the finger is larger, it varies person to person. My knuckles are nearly a whole size larger than where my ring rests, but my ring has to be sized to get over my knuckles. Some people have fingers that are widest where their ring rests. However it's usually the same hand-to-hand, so if her knuckles are larger on her right hand they are probably also larger on her left.
Thanks for your reply. Unfortunately I do not want to take her to get sized as I want this to be a complete surprise, but I understand that is what I really should do, especially since the band I'm getting has a pave about 3/4 of the way down.

Her fingers are definitely largest around the knuckle - and my optimistic thought process is that if her knuckle is a 5 on the right hand, it must also be a 5 on the left hand. Hoping this turns out to be correct. :???:
 

distracts

Ideal_Rock
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Yeah, if you won't take her to get sized, there's no way to know for sure, and that's just the risk you're taking.

There's also the issue of width - is the Tiffany ring a similar width to the engagement ring? If so, you're good, but just fyi people usually wear slightly larger sizes of wider rings so if it's wider than about 4mm you probably need to go down in size half a size (I know Tiffany has plenty of wide rings).
 

LadyMCh

Shiny_Rock
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Okay, why do you want this to be a complete surprise?

I'm cringing so hard reading this. Yes, it's sweet that you want to keep it a super-secret-surprise. But, IMHO, it's also a bad idea...for lots of reasons other than ring sizing. :wall:

As far as what her ring size is, well, we have no idea and there is no way to be sure that you're going to get it right the first time other than having her ring finger sized. It defeats the purpose of getting a brand new, high-quality, custom ring if you're going to put sizing beads in it. Some people need sizing beads because they have proportionally large knuckles. Other people HATE sizing beads because they find them to be uncomfortable. It doesn't seem to make sense to me that you want the ring to be *perfect* but would even consider this if not necessary. Also, there is no way to correctly estimate without the possiblity or error because EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT.

It also makes me nervous that you want to keep it super secret. I'm hoping the 2 of you have actually discussed getting married and what kind of ring she would like, budget, etc. Focusing on the romance of a surprise is not a good idea. The reality is that this is a huge financial and life decision that the two of you need to be on the same page about, and you can't be on the same page if you don't TALK to one another and discuss these kind of things. Personally, if my DH had surprised me with the ring he *thought* I wanted, I would have been shocked, displeased, and p*ssed. He *thought* he knew what I wanted and was wrong. I also would have been hurt and felt that he didn't respect me as a partner enough to include me in making a big decision about MY life and future...which is a bad precedent in a marriage! Even if it had been with the best of intentions, it doesn't give me warm fuzzies that the execution would have involved a lot of sneaking around behind my back.

FYI- We just had a friend do this exact same thing. He guessed her size and picked a pavé solitaire with diamonds 3/4 the way around the band. Well, it's too big and can't be sized down enough to fit her, so now they're stuck with buying a whole other setting. :shock:
 

ac117

Ideal_Rock
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3,696
What's the width of the Tiffany & Co. ring? If it's on the wider side, it may be the reason she preferred to size up. Thinner bands will fit looser. What will the width of the shank of the ering be? You will also need to keep in mind that she will be getting a wedding band to wear on the same finger.
 

motownmama

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I'm going to voice the other side of the coin. I LOVED my surprise proposal - It blew me away. I think you need to elicit the help of the sister or best friend. Doesn't she have a ring she wears on her left hand? Can't they go together because the friend wants to try on rings and both get sized? My DH somehow got my ring size out of me 4.25, but apparently the jeweler felt that was so small he convinced him to do 4.5, so it did need to be sized down a hair.
 

AM1102

Rough_Rock
Joined
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distracts|1476286812|4086144 said:
Yeah, if you won't take her to get sized, there's no way to know for sure, and that's just the risk you're taking.

There's also the issue of width - is the Tiffany ring a similar width to the engagement ring? If so, you're good, but just fyi people usually wear slightly larger sizes of wider rings so if it's wider than about 4mm you probably need to go down in size half a size (I know Tiffany has plenty of wide rings).
The Tiffany ring is 3mm in width and hers is a size 5. It is snug over the knuckle on her right ring finger. The band width of the E-ring will be 1.80mm.


LadyMCh|1476286941|4086145 said:
Okay, why do you want this to be a complete surprise?

I'm cringing so hard reading this. Yes, it's sweet that you want to keep it a super-secret-surprise. But, IMHO, it's also a bad idea...for lots of reasons other than ring sizing. :wall:

As far as what her ring size is, well, we have no idea and there is no way to be sure that you're going to get it right the first time other than having her ring finger sized. It defeats the purpose of getting a brand new, high-quality, custom ring if you're going to put sizing beads in it. Some people need sizing beads because they have proportionally large knuckles. Other people HATE sizing beads because they find them to be uncomfortable. It doesn't seem to make sense to me that you want the ring to be *perfect* but would even consider this if not necessary. Also, there is no way to correctly estimate without the possiblity or error because EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT.

It also makes me nervous that you want to keep it super secret. I'm hoping the 2 of you have actually discussed getting married and what kind of ring she would like, budget, etc. Focusing on the romance of a surprise is not a good idea. The reality is that this is a huge financial and life decision that the two of you need to be on the same page about, and you can't be on the same page if you don't TALK to one another and discuss these kind of things. Personally, if my DH had surprised me with the ring he *thought* I wanted, I would have been shocked, displeased, and p*ssed. He *thought* he knew what I wanted and was wrong. I also would have been hurt and felt that he didn't respect me as a partner enough to include me in making a big decision about MY life and future...which is a bad precedent in a marriage! Even if it had been with the best of intentions, it doesn't give me warm fuzzies that the execution would have involved a lot of sneaking around behind my back.

FYI- We just had a friend do this exact same thing. He guessed her size and picked a pavé solitaire with diamonds 3/4 the way around the band. Well, it's too big and can't be sized down enough to fit her, so now they're stuck with buying a whole other setting. :shock:
We have discussed marriage, and have been together for 6+ years now! She know's it's going to happen, but doesn't know when. I've always wanted it to be a complete surprise for her. We planned a last minute vacation for next month, and I intend on doing it then. We have looked at rings in the past and I have a good idea of what she likes. Her Pinterest account also helped greatly. I am on board with you when it comes to discussing certain things, but a E-ring is not one of those (for me). I know she will be ecstatic with whatever I present to her on that day, and there's not a chance she would be pissed or displeased with me. To be honest, I've never spoken to anyone regarding this who has shared your same view on this. In my opinion, this isn't about her life and her future - It's a ring, not a child! I've spent so much time and effort on this, that I know she would appreciate it greatly regardless of what I get her. The sneaking behind her back and being able to keep this a secret will not be viewed as "sneaking" to her. You must not like surprise birthday parties either. :) I digress, just felt the need to defend my decision LOL.


ac117|1476287925|4086154 said:
What's the width of the Tiffany & Co. ring? If it's on the wider side, it may be the reason she preferred to size up. Thinner bands will fit looser. What will the width of the shank of the ering be? You will also need to keep in mind that she will be getting a wedding band to wear on the same finger.
The T&CO ring is 3mm wide. The new ring will be 1.80mm wide. Can you please explain how a wedding band will impact the sizing?


Thank you ALL :D
 

rubybeth

Ideal_Rock
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AM1102|1476290724|4086176 said:
ac117|1476287925|4086154 said:
What's the width of the Tiffany & Co. ring? If it's on the wider side, it may be the reason she preferred to size up. Thinner bands will fit looser. What will the width of the shank of the ering be? You will also need to keep in mind that she will be getting a wedding band to wear on the same finger.
The T&CO ring is 3mm wide. The new ring will be 1.80mm wide. Can you please explain how a wedding band will impact the sizing?

Thank you ALL :D
I second the idea of having a friend go ring shopping with her and having her get an official size. Resizing is a pain when you just get engaged and want to wear your ring constantly--I waited more than a year to get my ring resized because I didn't want to send it back and be without it for a week.

A narrower ring like 1.8 will be easier to get over a knuckle than a 3mm wide ring. Try it for yourself at a jewelry store with wedding bands--a wider ring is harder to get over a knuckle if it's a tight fit. And then a narrow ring will tend to "spin" and flip over on the finger, especially if it's top heavy. A wedding band can help because more rings tend to squish the finger more and make all the rings fit a little tighter. Also, weather and bloating can affect ring size. In the winter, I like to stack four 2mm rings, but in the summer, I had to take them all off and wear a ring that's a half size larger, as it's the only one that felt comfortable.

And for what it's worth, I'm with LadyMCh, I would have hated a surprise ring. My DH let me pick out the diamond and setting, he ordered it and did the surprise proposal. I like other surprises, but I would not have been pleased if his attitude was, "She'll love whatever I pick" because we have very different tastes. I'm glad you have gone shopping before and her Pinterest as a guide, though. ;))
 

evergreen

Shiny_Rock
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Messages
463
Leaving aside the question about whether a surprise proposal is right for your relationship (I would have hated being surprised with my forever ring, and it IS about her life and future - I look at my ring finger probably 20 times a day, so I suggest you be tremendously careful when trying to downplay the importance of loving every aspect of what she sees there!), I do have some sizing advice: if you must guess and take the risk of being wrong, be slightly small.

Imagine what happens to the shank when a ring is sized down, versus up: if sized down, the little slots for the pave, and their prongs, get moved farther apart, and stones can easily become loose. I bought a 3/4 eternity band new at a jeweler's which was then sized down from a 7 to a 6.25 and it lost 4 stones over the first 6 months I owned it - which the jeweler replaced - before we all agreed it was getting ridiculous and they remade the ring in a 6.5, without resizing.

If you size up, the curvature of the shank decreases, and stones may be stressed and crack or pop out, but I think it's less risky especially if it's only a small change.
 

distracts

Ideal_Rock
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AM1102|1476290724|4086176 said:
In my opinion, this isn't about her life and her future - It's a ring, not a child!
Well.

Well.

If you don't understand the huge impact that something someone wears EVERY DAY has on their life and on people's perceptions of them...

This comment just really rubbed me the wrong way.

As for a second ring impacting the sizing, things fit kind of more snugly when you stack rings - it's just like having a thicker ring in that way except easier to get over the knuckle. Because the finger fat and skin can move around some. But if your ring is 1.8mm, and I presume a wedding band will also be around 1.8mm, you don't need to worry about that. It gets to be an issue if you're like me and stack a whole centimeter of rings though.

LadyMCh|1476286941|4086145 said:
FYI- We just had a friend do this exact same thing. He guessed her size and picked a pavé solitaire with diamonds 3/4 the way around the band. Well, it's too big and can't be sized down enough to fit her, so now they're stuck with buying a whole other setting. :shock:
:shock: :shock: I imagine that as pave bands are becoming more popular, this is happening more. As long as people understand this is a risk they are taking, where their ring may need resizing that because of the style of band may be impossible or create long-term problems, that is fine, but I imagine most people don't think of that.
 

LadyMCh

Shiny_Rock
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evergreen|1476291325|4086182 said:
Leaving aside the question about whether a surprise proposal is right for your relationship (I would have hated being surprised with my forever ring, and it IS about her life and future - I look at my ring finger probably 20 times a day, so I suggest you be tremendously careful when trying to downplay the importance of loving every aspect of what she sees there!)

THIS.

I know a lot of women who have engagement rings that they don't love and who wish their husband would have asked. :( They just typically don't voice that to their husband after the fact because they know it would hurt their feelings. They love the sentiment behind the ring but aren't crazy about how it looks. I can't tell you how many times I've said to a woman, "Oh, I like your e-ring." and they've responded, "Yeahhh...it's not what I would have picked."

Like evergreen said, it IS about her life and future. If you expect someone to wear a ring everyday for the rest of their life, wouldn't you want it to be EXACTLY what they wanted? And not look at it and think, "Gee, I wish he'd asked me because I would have changed *this* detail (which could be so small that that detail seems insignificant to you)." Thanks to rubybeth and evergreen, now you've heard from a couple more people who feel the same way as me. Comparing it to a surprise birthday is apples and oranges; I have had surprise birthday parties thrown for me and no one ever asked me to accept an important piece of jewelry that THEY picked FOR me and wanted me to wear for the rest of my life. Also, I was in on picking out my original e-ring (which should be of no surprise!), and the proposal itself was still a huge surprise to me. He still picked when/where, and I did not see it coming.
 

LadyMCh

Shiny_Rock
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distracts|1476291888|4086190 said:
AM1102|1476290724|4086176 said:
In my opinion, this isn't about her life and her future - It's a ring, not a child!
Well.

Well.

If you don't understand the huge impact that something someone wears EVERY DAY has on their life and on people's perceptions of them...

This comment just really rubbed me the wrong way.

As for a second ring impacting the sizing, things fit kind of more snugly when you stack rings - it's just like having a thicker ring in that way except easier to get over the knuckle. Because the finger fat and skin can move around some. But if your ring is 1.8mm, and I presume a wedding band will also be around 1.8mm, you don't need to worry about that. It gets to be an issue if you're like me and stack a whole centimeter of rings though.

LadyMCh|1476286941|4086145 said:
FYI- We just had a friend do this exact same thing. He guessed her size and picked a pavé solitaire with diamonds 3/4 the way around the band. Well, it's too big and can't be sized down enough to fit her, so now they're stuck with buying a whole other setting. :shock:
:shock: :shock: I imagine that as pave bands are becoming more popular, this is happening more. As long as people understand this is a risk they are taking, where their ring may need resizing that because of the style of band may be impossible or create long-term problems, that is fine, but I imagine most people don't think of that.

Yeah, distracts. They are trying to find a custom jeweler who will unset and reuse all of the pave so that at least ALL of the diamonds will be from the original ring she was presented with, but a lot of jewelers don't want to do that. Plus, it's way more expensive to unset and then reset all those little diamonds.
 

AM1102

Rough_Rock
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Understood, ladies! My apologies, I think I made it sound much more insignificant than I had intended.


As far as the birthday party analogy, I meant that in response to the sneaking around comment. :???:


With that being said, this is all very helpful. Since I know for a FACT that a size 5, 3mm wide ring fits just perfectly over her right ring finger, I think I am going to go with a 5 for the E-ring as well. From what I've read, the sizing variation between dominant and non-dominant hand ring sizing is not due to variations in knuckle sizing, but variations in where the ring sits.


Again, I apologize if I rubbed you guys the wrong way, I think I just got a bit defensive when my master plan was questioned (which made me second guess myself - then realize I don't have time to change my mind) :tongue: :tongue: :tongue:
 

kb1gra

Brilliant_Rock
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I wear a 5.25 on my left ring finger and I can easily wear that size or a 5.5 on my right hand. I think you'll probably be close and if you have to, you can put sizing beads in instead of sizing the ring directly.
 

newjourney

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motownmama|1476288098|4086156 said:
I'm going to voice the other side of the coin. I LOVED my surprise proposal - It blew me away. I think you need to elicit the help of the sister or best friend.
This was my fiance's reaction as well!
OP, I respect your master plan for a surprise proposal. I still think it's a timeless and romantic approach. Having been together for 6 years, I'm sure you know how much your gf would cherish this gesture and love what that ring represents.

May I suggest getting a free ring sizer through either James Allen/Blue Nile/etc. and recruit one of her friends to catch up on your relationship with her? The friend can have her try on the sizers. This way you can also gauge if there was a particular diamond shape and setting style she had in mind. This sounds sneaky, but all detective work are sneaky :)

The down side is most of these free ring sizers come in a half size increment. If you gf falls in the quarter mark, there's no other choice but to have it resized later. It should be an easy process any how.

Good luck!
 

MollyMalone

Ideal_Rock
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AM1102|1476284889|4086130 said:
* * * If I do go with the 5, and it ends up being a tad bit loose, how do you guys feel about inserts/sizing beads? Is this something that is typically done on cheaper/lower end rings, or are they typically acceptable on quality E-rings?
* * *
It's not unusual for quality rings offered by Christie's and Sotheby's auction houses to have sizing beads in them. E.g., here's a 25+ ct. unheated Burmese sapphire ring -- with sizing beads -- that sold (3 years ago) for almost $700,000:
http://www.sothebys.com/en/auctions/ecatalogue/2013/magnificent-jewels-and-noble-jewels-ge1302/lot.635.html

Your latest post suggests that you're going to go ahead & order the ring in size 5. I think that's a sound decision, for several reasons:
* there is a regrettable lack of uniform consistency in ring sizers, so it's not outside the realm of possibility that your jeweler's ring size 5 does not exactly correspond to the size 5 Tiffany ring.

* I think it's better for the e-ring to be a bit too big rather than too small.
A friend of my son (who also insisted on making the e-ring & proposal a complete surprise) guessed wrong & his wife-to-be could not wear the ring after he proposed, which was a disappointment to them both, because she could not slide it down her finger.
Also, odds are that your wife's finger size will increase somewhat after pregnancy-childbirth or as she gets older, so especially for a ring that doesn't lend itself easily to being resized owing to a paved shank, I'd rather have it a bit looser now & have a spring insert installed (sizing beads bug me, but your SO may be fine with them).
Plus, I personally dislike having "muffin top" ring fingers ;))
 

Sagefemme

Shiny_Rock
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After reading this thread the suspense is killing me!! I'm not sure I can wait a whole month until you propose :angel: . Please make sure you come back to the thread after the proposal and tell us ALL the details of how it went. I have a feeling it's going to go very well. And pictures, hand shots, etc. GOOD LUCK!
 

motownmama

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I was going to say the same thing - don't you dare leave us hanging after all this discussion!!! ;-)
If I were guessing her size I'd go with the 4.5 because the ER is thinner and the non-dominant hand is smaller. HOWEVER, I'd really try to get a friend of hers to go shopping with her - pop into jewelry store - maybe the friend can start with the right hand and then see if her OWN left is smaller, then ask your GF to confirm this.
 
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