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need help with father in law to be

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maulin

Rough_Rock
Joined
Oct 14, 2002
Messages
6
I am going to be proposing on fri night, her family is very traditional and very italian, so I would like to run it by her father first.. any ideas should i ask for his blessing or well theres the problem i dont know how to word it when i go visit him on tomorrow night.. anyone out there go through this recently or just any advice would be great
thanks,
shane
 

Tarams

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Nov 26, 2001
Messages
228
Hi Shane,

I'm going to respond because I am also Italian. Yes, I think that asking her father for his blessing is a wonderful idea. But I think I would rather speak w/both, Mom & Dad. I'm not sure how traditional Italian they are, but considering the womans role in contemporary relationships, better to have the blessing from both (and not have Mom feeling insulted that you didn't care for her opinion - this is her little girl we're talking about!) But that's just my opinion.

Obviously, you want their attention when your girlfriend is not present. Granted you will probably be extremely nervous. They will understand that. think I might ask "how would you feel if...", or "I've given serious consideration to our relationship & would like to...", or a simple "may I have your blessing in asking for ---'s hand?" would work!

I wish you all the luck! Please let us know how it turns out!!
:))
 

maulin

Rough_Rock
Joined
Oct 14, 2002
Messages
6
The problem is though that her mother is not around very often, and has also been hinting toward it anyways.. always dropping hints that she wants us to get married... another problem is that I dont think she would be very good at keeping this a secret... but i never thought that she might feel insulted.. maybe I will ask them both... thanks for the advice, ill let u know how it goes
 

Rook

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Oct 4, 2002
Messages
294
How old is the fiance to be? The reason I ask is that a lot of women ages 21 or over may not like you asking their parents permission. Why, because "it is there life not their parents"(quote from my gf on the topic.) Some younger women are rebelling the parents from the day the step out of high school, or sooner, and for the rest of their lives.

Although most dads would appreciate it:confused:
 

Tarams

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Nov 26, 2001
Messages
228
I'd assume he would ask her even if the parents didn't give him their blessing (although from his last post about the mother in law to be hinting at it, I think he would have it anyway). So how could she be upset? She'll do what she feels is right in her heart & not what the parents believe anyway.

If he's mature enough to think to ask the father to marry her, she's probably also old enough & mature enough to handle him asking that question.

Tonight is the night with the parents, and tomorrow is his big night!! Wonder if he'll sleep at all?????

Good luck, Shane!!!!
 

trichrome

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Dec 9, 2002
Messages
397
My gf told me the same thing : " i wanna be the first one you ask to.. not
my dad". And she's also italian. But I think that it would be nice to
talk with her father about that stuff before asking her like "well Mr..
I plan to ask your daughter's hand in the near future... I'd like
to have your advice...." something like that. I was wondering if
it's ok?
 
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