Need advice on sleep training an infant please

[Kay]

Argh! So I ordered "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" from Amazon yesterday and paid for the 3-day shipping to get it here by Thursday (even though I qualified for free shipping). This morning I received an e-mail saying my order should be here by July 6 -- WTF?! I called Amazon and it is too late to switch to 2-day express.

Since I won''t have the book for the 4-day weekend when I was going to try to train her, can anyone give me suggestions for appropriate nap times if I want her to go to bed between 8 and 8:30 pm? Also, are there any special tricks to getting them down to sleep in a crib?

We moved up her bed time a bit last night. She had a big meal of green beans and pears at 7, then a large bottle a little after 8, and she was passed out with me on the futon by 8:45. She slept until 3 am, then started crawling all around me. I rubbed her back and tummy for 20 minutes to see if she would go back to sleep, then ended up feeding her an 8 ounce bottle. She slept from 4 - 8 am, when we had to get her up to go to daycare.

 

[Kay]

Date: 6/29/2009 3:13:57 PM
Author: packrat
One of the things that was so hard w/Trapper was that we had a hard time figuring out a schedule that worked. London went to bed at 8pm and got up at 8am, like clockwork. Varied now and again, but was rare. This boy child of mine...wow. I could NOT decipher him at all. One day I happened to be flipping thru a baby magazine..American Baby or something..anyways, they had moms experiences about getting their baby to sleep, and one of the moms said she''d had a hell of a time, until she realized her son wanted to go to bed early. She''d been keeping him up until 8 or 9 or whatever..he wanted to go down at like, 5. And he slept until 5 the next morning, which worked great for them b/c that''s when they got up to get ready for work. So I thought to myself, HMMMMM maybe I have myself an early to bed early to rise boy. I started experimenting, putting him to bed earlier in 1/2 hour increments until I realized, my little boy wanted to go to bed at 5:30. Who the heck goes to bed that early???? But, it worked for him, and after a while it started being later as he got a little older. It was amazing.

He''s also very particular about having naps and getting to bed at a decent time. London was pretty laid back about that-if we were gone or had something going on and she missed her nap entirely or it was late, or she was up past her bedtime, no biggee. Trapper on the other hand...he''ll have meltdowns, so we only do it if it''s absolutely necessary. Generally I make the decision, b/c I''m the one who has to deal w/the meltdowns.

Lol, we spent the weekend with friends and I was shocked that they had dinner at 5:30. I can''t imagine going to bed that early.

 

[Kay]

Date: 6/29/2009 8:16:40 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie
Kay I think that sounds like a great plan! I want to second TGal''s advice about protecting the bedtime. We are pretty careful about it too -- Hunter goes to bed around 7pm every night. We have had to tell family we couldn''t go places and we have had to change our lives for it, but he is so much better off and in the end so are we. Waking early to play and bond is a really good idea if you hubby is up to it, and weekends mean a lot.

I will admit that there have been more than a few times when we have been places and let him sleep in his carseat and then put him to bed properly at around 9pm. For now he is okay with that, it doesn''t mess things up too much because he is *generally* a pretty good sleeper, but we really do try to avoid it. But when he is older I don''t think it will work anymore, he may become too wrapped up in his surroundings or thrown off my not having his crib. I also take him out during the days and he naps on the go -- in the car seat or in his stroller. But even though we are out, he still naps well and tends to nap at the same times. To give you an idea of our day, Hunter is 4 months old and he wakes between 6:30 and 7am, depending on how the night went (1 or 2 wakes), and he has two 45 min to and hour naps in the morning (around 8:30 am and around 11:30pm), a 1-2 hour nap around 2pm, and then depending on how long his afternoon nap was, he will have another 45 minute nap around 5. Naps move around a little for him still, I think with older kids they can be more regimented.

DD often naps in her car seat or stroller when we are out during the day. I''m going to have to pay more attention to her timing.

 

[TravelingGal]

I am assuming she wakes up at 8? Does she currently take 2 naps or 3>

If so, at 8 months I''d say first nap at 10, 10:30 latest. An hour to an hour and half, tops. Then down again around 3 hours later, for another hour or two. So that''s around 2 to 2:30? The third nap would be tough because it seems to me that she''s ready to go down for the evening early. If she were to wake up at 3-4, I''d keep her up until 7:30 and put her down for the night.

Also HSHHC will be pretty adamant about naps...the doc doesn''t consider naps in strollers or carseats truly rejuvenating naps.

 

[D&T]

Date: 6/30/2009 12:49:21 PM
Author: Kay
Argh! So I ordered 'Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child' from Amazon yesterday and paid for the 3-day shipping to get it here by Thursday (even though I qualified for free shipping). This morning I received an e-mail saying my order should be here by July 6 -- WTF?! I called Amazon and it is too late to switch to 2-day express.

Since I won't have the book for the 4-day weekend when I was going to try to train her, can anyone give me suggestions for appropriate nap times if I want her to go to bed between 8 and 8:30 pm? Also, are there any special tricks to getting them down to sleep in a crib?

We moved up her bed time a bit last night. She had a big meal of green beans and pears at 7, then a large bottle a little after 8, and she was passed out with me on the futon by 8:45. She slept until 3 am, then started crawling all around me. I rubbed her back and tummy for 20 minutes to see if she would go back to sleep, then ended up feeding her an 8 ounce bottle. She slept from 4 - 8 am, when we had to get her up to go to daycare.

Hi Kay, my second DD is almost 8 months old in four days, Anyhow this is her schedule on the weekends and the one to days she's home with me during the week (since she goes to daycare during the week). DD wakes up about 5:30-6am, has her bottle, plays for a little bit, give her some baby fruit food, then takes a nap at about 9am-10am sometimes about one and half hour, then she wakes up about 1030am-11am takes her bottle, snacks, then takes a nap about 2 or 3pm, for another hour. Wakes up, bottle, Then we give her half of a gerber solid vegetables, at about 6-6:30pm I give another bottle. then she falls asleep at about 730-8pm. I dream feed her when I go to bed around 10pm (so she doesn't wake up in the middle of the nigh) usually I just go in and pick her up, don't turn on the lights and just cradle her while feeding her the bottle, My SIL will just stick a bottle in her DS 'mouth while in the crib. ( Sometimes i ge a burp, most times no burp) I put her back in her crib, and she stays a asleep and starts her day all over again. she only gets 2 naps sometimes 3 at the most for her age, and I find that it works for us. If she's pretty active during the day, my DD usually sleep longer and doesn't wake up in the middle of the night.

 

[janinegirly]

hi kay, i was curious how things were going with your LO and sleeping now...hopefully better!

 

[Kay]

Date: 8/3/2009 12:32:28 PM
Author: janinegirly
hi kay, i was curious how things were going with your LO and sleeping now...hopefully better!

Hi Janine, I was just thinking this morning that I needed to post an update.

 

[Kay]

Thank you all for your great advice. I am happy to report that the situation has improved greatly, at least for night time sleeping (we still have nap issues thanks to day care).

Reading your posts and "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" gave me the courage to try CIO again, starting about a month ago. We started by moving A’s bedtime up to 8 pm. I co-slept with her the first couple of nights to adjust to the new time (I was so tired I didn’t mind going to bed early). The third night, she was very fussy and unhappy, and I figured since being in bed with me was not making her happy, I would just put her in her crib and see what happened. She cried loudly when I put her down and walked away, but was asleep within 20 minutes and slept over 10 hours straight through.

Since then, we just put her in her crib every night and she will cry for 2-20 minutes, then pass out. She sometimes cries during the night, but we do not go to her unless the crying lasts for 20 minutes. We have only had to get up 3 or 4 times with her in the past month (although some nights I get woken multiple times by her cries, even though I do not have to get up).

We usually get home around 6:30 pm. She has some play time, then she has her last solid meal around 7 pm. She gets more play or lap time, depending on her mood, then around 7:40 we change her diaper and sit down with her in the rocker for her final bottle. She goes in the crib around 8 pm. She usually wakes between 6:30 and 7 am, although some days it is as early as 5 or as late as 8:30.

We have a harder time keeping her naps consistent. When I am home with her, I put her down for her first nap about 2 hours after she wakes up. She goes down for her second nap 2-3 hours after the end of the 1st nap. She always cries initially, but usually falls asleep within 20 minutes. Some days she does not fall asleep (or naps very briefly) but I try to leave her in her crib for at least an hour even if she refuses to nap, per HSHHC. She usually will nap between 2 and 4 hours total on days she is at home. At daycare, she rarely naps more than 1 hour, if that. The other kids are noisy and the room is too bright. Plus, I can tell from her daily logs that they do not follow the schedule I have dictated, so she is missing her window of sleepiness. (e.g., I’ll write on her daily sheet to give her a bottle and put her down for her first nap at 9 based on when she woke up, and the sheet shows they attempted her first nap at 10 or 10:30.) It is 4 kids per adult at day care, and they just follow their own schedule of rotating the kids through the feeding, changing and nap routines. She often looks exhausted when I pick her up, and will fall asleep in my arms on the way to the car or in the car. It is very frustrating, but the only other day care center that will take infants has a long waiting list. We do not want to switch to a nanny because A really seems to enjoy playing with the other kids. (She has a boy friend she hangs out with every day.)

 

[TravelingGal]

LOL, boyfriend, how cute!

Glad to hear things are so much better...that is awesome Kay!!