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Need advice about an Ebay seller situation really quick.

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luckystar112

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I think she gets the point. Sheesh!!!!!!!!

BAD Disneybride! BAD!!!


But I was also thinking about it from her point of view, and I can remember when I was ordering my wedding band from DBL David told me that the price was wrong but he would honor what is on the website (even though he could have gotten more for it). So in that sense, I can see that it would be very ANNOYING if you knew that someone was trying to get out of a transaction so that they could get it for more money.
Still, she did overreact.
 

Sizzle

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1,304
Wow, I hope I NEVER come across you on ebay. I think your reaction was APPALLING and it''s equally as disgusting that you kept ANY money from this man!
 

TravelingGal

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Date: 2/26/2009 8:04:37 PM
Author: luckystar112
I think she gets the point. Sheesh!!!!!!!!

BAD Disneybride! BAD!!!


But I was also thinking about it from her point of view, and I can remember when I was ordering my wedding band from DBL David told me that the price was wrong but he would honor what is on the website (even though he could have gotten more for it). So in that sense, I can see that it would be very ANNOYING if you knew that someone was trying to get out of a transaction so that they could get it for more money.
Still, she did overreact.
LOL, no kidding. I think we all get it. Extortion. Bad bad bad. The pitchforks got a working today.

Lucky, perhaps you should have started the thread with "Awesome strategy!"
 

oobiecoo

Ideal_Rock
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Date: 2/26/2009 7:57:29 PM
Author: Italiahaircolor
You know, the more I read your responses, the more I wonder who made you boss of Ebay?

Ebay, the company, has a set of rules regarding how to handle this exact sort of situation. It is not your responsibility, privilege, or right to invent ways to extort money from someone--regardless of what you feel you''re owed. I feel your justifications are meerly an attept to win sympathy over something, at a basic level, you know is wrong.

You ''taught'' a man a lesson by lying and stealing from him. How does that make you feel?

As someone who currently has a phone forsale on ebay, I can tell you honestly, if anyone ever attempted to pull that sort of B.S on me, I would contact Ebay and my next call would be to the police. I would never tolerate being threatened...and you''re very lucky that this man was scared and not pissed off by what you did...because had he been angry, this may have had a very different outcome for you. Like, having to really hire an attorney.
Well said!
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disneybride

Shiny_Rock
Joined
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No, the phone cost me $64 more from having to buy it elsewhere. I didn''t threaten harm, violence, or any kind of pain on this person so I''m not sure where the extremely over-the-top, high-on-the-horse morals are coming from on this thread. He reneged to screw me out of money and a phone and flat out told me it was because he wanted to sell it for more, after the auction had already ended. I never received a phone from him so the several people jumping to significantly wrong conclusions need to go back and actually pay attention to what I wrote. Thank you so much for the unwanted advice and candid moral lessons. I didn''t ask for them and your reactions aren''t bothering me. I wanted to know if people thought I should return it or not. Got my answers, thank you, and let this be the end of this thread.
 

TravelingGal

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Date: 2/27/2009 12:06:57 AM
Author: disneybride
No, the phone cost me $64 more from having to buy it elsewhere. I didn''t threaten harm, violence, or any kind of pain on this person so I''m not sure where the extremely over-the-top, high-on-the-horse morals are coming from on this thread. He reneged to screw me out of money and a phone and flat out told me it was because he wanted to sell it for more, after the auction had already ended. I never received a phone from him so the several people jumping to significantly wrong conclusions need to go back and actually pay attention to what I wrote. Thank you so much for the unwanted advice and candid moral lessons. I didn''t ask for them and your reactions aren''t bothering me. I wanted to know if people thought I should return it or not. Got my answers, thank you, and let this be the end of this thread.
You did ask for our advice. You asked if we thought you should return it, specifically said "I need your advice" and we gave it to you.

He didn''t want to screw you out of money...he didn''t want your money.

And finally, you might want to get off your high horse and realize the guy DID tell you the truth and was honest about his reasons. He could have lied.

But I guess you''ve decided you''re in the right. Next time you don''t want to hear something you may not agree with, don''t bother posting the story.
 

arjunajane

Ideal_Rock
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How did He screw You out of money???!!!
You didn''t pay him anything!!
You actually obtained money Illegally from him via threats - they don''t have to be physical to be threats
20.gif


Honestly, I seriously hope I never come across a buyer like you on ebay.
 

luckystar112

Ideal_Rock
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I hope nobody packed those pitchforks away just yet.
23.gif


But DB, if you don''t think you overreacted than nothing we say is going to convince you that you did. So...um, good luck in the future. I guess.
 

Fleur_de_Lis

Shiny_Rock
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Jan 2, 2009
Messages
114
I love when people come here looking for advice and/or sympathy, however, when they don't hear what they wanted they get all pissy and "walk" away in a huff.
38.gif
 

crown1

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
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Date: 2/27/2009 12:06:57 AM
Author: disneybride
No, the phone cost me $64 more from having to buy it elsewhere. I didn''t threaten harm, violence, or any kind of pain on this person so I''m not sure where the extremely over-the-top, high-on-the-horse morals are coming from on this thread. He reneged to screw me out of money and a phone and flat out told me it was because he wanted to sell it for more, after the auction had already ended. I never received a phone from him so the several people jumping to significantly wrong conclusions need to go back and actually pay attention to what I wrote. Thank you so much for the unwanted advice and candid moral lessons. I didn''t ask for them and your reactions aren''t bothering me. I wanted to know if people thought I should return it or not. Got my answers, thank you, and let this be the end of this thread.

what are you doing with all of these phones? i just read a bb thread on shopping where you commented about one you purchased earlier and had to make a few returns on.
 

FrekeChild

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Dec 14, 2007
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19,456
I''m just aghast at your reaction to the advice people have given you. You are not entitled to that money. You should return it.

If you feel guilt, you need to rectify WHY you feel guilty. And you need to stop lashing out in anger at people who gave you advice when you asked for it. Just because it''s advice you don''t want to hear, does not make it wrong.

I feel bad for the seller. Not you. By any means.

And no wonder I get such great feedback from sellers, when they have buyers around that would do something like that.

38.gif
 

arjunajane

Ideal_Rock
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So are you going to return the money?
 

disneybride

Shiny_Rock
Joined
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139
I unupgraded from the Storm. It''s still too buggy for me to make a two year commitment to, so I don''t have "all these phones." I''m waiting on the one and only Blackberry I''ll have in my possession until I do upgrade.
 

Pandora II

Ideal_Rock
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Having had a similar thing happen - with an antique item that I couldn''t just go out and find another one of - I totally understand being really PO''d about the situation.

For the guy to then say that he wouldn''t sell it because it wasn''t enough $$$ - well, more fool him for not setting a reserve. The statement he made regarding this would actually have made me far more angry than the initial ''oops I''d forgotten that I hadn''t unlisted it''.

However, it is generally better to go and kick some inanimate object, swear a bit, bring down curses upon their son''s sons and then leave negative feedback.

I can understand the ''writing the aggressive email and actually pressing send before calming down'' scenario though.

I reckon the guy has definitely learned his lesson about how not to conduct business on ebay - but I would definitely refund the payment that he made to PayPal.

Lesson for you - don''t buy electrical goods from sellers with minimal feedback. Temper tantrums are less embarrassing when witnessed only by one''s teddy bear...

(I''m also pretty appalled by the wolf pack scenarios that seem to be erupting on PS on a regular basis these days...
38.gif
)
 

Maisie

Super_Ideal_Rock
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12,586
Date: 2/27/2009 8:34:34 AM
Author: Pandora II
Having had a similar thing happen - with an antique item that I couldn''t just go out and find another one of - I totally understand being really PO''d about the situation.

For the guy to then say that he wouldn''t sell it because it wasn''t enough $$$ - well, more fool him for not setting a reserve. The statement he made regarding this would actually have made me far more angry than the initial ''oops I''d forgotten that I hadn''t unlisted it''.

However, it is generally better to go and kick some inanimate object, swear a bit, bring down curses upon their son''s sons and then leave negative feedback.

I can understand the ''writing the aggressive email and actually pressing send before calming down'' scenario though.

I reckon the guy has definitely learned his lesson about how not to conduct business on ebay - but I would definitely refund the payment that he made to PayPal.

Lesson for you - don''t buy electrical goods from sellers with minimal feedback. Temper tantrums are less embarrassing when witnessed only by one''s teddy bear...

(I''m also pretty appalled by the wolf pack scenarios that seem to be erupting on PS on a regular basis these days...
38.gif
)
I don''t think its pack mentality Pandora. Its just a lot of people with the same opinion.
1.gif
 

niccia

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Feb 18, 2008
Messages
343
I wasn''t going to comment on this thread initially, but I kind of agree with Pandora. I would be annoyed too if it happened to me, although I would have left it at that and definitely not demanded the money or anything else from the seller. Disneybride, if I were you, I would listen to what these ladies are saying and give that money back immediately (all of it).
 

disneybride

Shiny_Rock
Joined
May 13, 2008
Messages
139
Thank you, Pandora, for being rational and objective. These are the exact feelings I experienced during this transaction. His punk attitude of "too bad" is what really made me angry. You don''t treat customers like that and he should''ve ended the auction early if he realized he wasn''t getting any hits and wanted more money instead of waiting until it was over and I had won. $125 for a used phone is fair, and I don''t know where he got the delusion he could get $300 for it so I wish him all the best in that endeavor. I did refund him the rest of the money, though, minus the few dollars Paypal took out for fees. I talked to my good friend about it and she spoke to her fiance who is a lawyer and we all agreed it was fair for him to have to pay just the difference for what I had to pay between the two phones, so I sent the extra money back, but it still hung over my head all day and at the end of the night I couldn''t sleep. My gut feeling said it was wrong and he obviously learned his lesson if he sent the money to me. I made this decision based on my own feeling and not the spew of negativity on here.
 

Girlrocks

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jul 19, 2006
Messages
575
Date: 2/27/2009 9:13:00 AM
Author: Maisie

Date: 2/27/2009 8:34:34 AM
Author: Pandora II
Having had a similar thing happen - with an antique item that I couldn''t just go out and find another one of - I totally understand being really PO''d about the situation.

For the guy to then say that he wouldn''t sell it because it wasn''t enough $$$ - well, more fool him for not setting a reserve. The statement he made regarding this would actually have made me far more angry than the initial ''oops I''d forgotten that I hadn''t unlisted it''.

However, it is generally better to go and kick some inanimate object, swear a bit, bring down curses upon their son''s sons and then leave negative feedback.

I can understand the ''writing the aggressive email and actually pressing send before calming down'' scenario though.

I reckon the guy has definitely learned his lesson about how not to conduct business on ebay - but I would definitely refund the payment that he made to PayPal.

Lesson for you - don''t buy electrical goods from sellers with minimal feedback. Temper tantrums are less embarrassing when witnessed only by one''s teddy bear...

(I''m also pretty appalled by the wolf pack scenarios that seem to be erupting on PS on a regular basis these days...
38.gif
)
I don''t think its pack mentality Pandora. Its just a lot of people with the same opinion.
1.gif
I agree...that''s why I am very careful before asking for advice, because ask and thee shall receive! Even if it isn''t what you want to hear, or how many times you want to hear it!
2.gif
 

arjunajane

Ideal_Rock
Joined
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Messages
9,758
Date: 2/27/2009 10:41:14 AM
Author: disneybride
Thank you, Pandora, for being rational and objective. These are the exact feelings I experienced during this transaction. His punk attitude of ''too bad'' is what really made me angry. You don''t treat customers like that and he should''ve ended the auction early if he realized he wasn''t getting any hits and wanted more money instead of waiting until it was over and I had won. $125 for a used phone is fair, and I don''t know where he got the delusion he could get $300 for it so I wish him all the best in that endeavor. I did refund him the rest of the money, though, minus the few dollars Paypal took out for fees. I talked to my good friend about it and she spoke to her fiance who is a lawyer and we all agreed it was fair for him to have to pay just the difference for what I had to pay between the two phones, so I sent the extra money back, but it still hung over my head all day and at the end of the night I couldn''t sleep. My gut feeling said it was wrong and he obviously learned his lesson if he sent the money to me. I made this decision based on my own feeling and not the spew of negativity on here.
Oh really come on disneybride! "spew of negativity"?! Aren''t we getting just a lil victim-y here?

Honestly, if you feel you have been wronged in this thread, you should use the report concern button.
As others have mentioned, just because you didn''t receive the answers you wanted, it''s not good form to now get aggressive at everyone.

Perhaps more than one lesson needed learning in this situation
2.gif




And pandora, ditto maisie. Just because a thread gets a strong unanimous reaction, doesn''t make it a "wolf pack" ok..
 

TravelingGal

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 29, 2004
Messages
17,193
Date: 2/27/2009 10:41:14 AM
Author: disneybride
Thank you, Pandora, for being rational and objective. These are the exact feelings I experienced during this transaction. His punk attitude of ''too bad'' is what really made me angry. You don''t treat customers like that and he should''ve ended the auction early if he realized he wasn''t getting any hits and wanted more money instead of waiting until it was over and I had won. $125 for a used phone is fair, and I don''t know where he got the delusion he could get $300 for it so I wish him all the best in that endeavor. I did refund him the rest of the money, though, minus the few dollars Paypal took out for fees. I talked to my good friend about it and she spoke to her fiance who is a lawyer and we all agreed it was fair for him to have to pay just the difference for what I had to pay between the two phones, so I sent the extra money back, but it still hung over my head all day and at the end of the night I couldn''t sleep. My gut feeling said it was wrong and he obviously learned his lesson if he sent the money to me. I made this decision based on my own feeling and not the spew of negativity on here.
"wolf pack scenarios" "spew of negativity"?

Give me a break. When I read DB''s story, my mouth fell open, and it was not in DB''s favor. Honestly, I was pretty agog. I''d reckon to say most people felt the same way and said what they thought, not what everyone else thought. DB did not do herself any favors by being defensive and unable to think anyone else was rational aside from someone who agreed with her.

Just because someone doesn''t agree with you, doesn''t mean it''s "negative." You manhandled this guy. You threatened a case that would force him to travel to your own state. You don''t see how YOUR WORDS elicted our reactions, do you?
 

Italiahaircolor

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 16, 2007
Messages
5,184
I was completely ready to let this "issue" fade away since reasoning here was more or less like pounding sand...

However...

DB, I urge you to re-read the thread in its entirety.

There was no wolf packing done here, and I think if you revisit your topic, you''ll see that. We all collectively agreed that you were in the wrong, and advised you on how to proceed, as you intially requested. I am terribly sorry that you didn''t get the response you were counting on...we''re a group of morally conscious women who don''t think stealing is ever an appropriate solution to a problem.

 

TravelingGal

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
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Messages
17,193
Date: 2/26/2009 2:06:42 PM
Author: disneybride
For the record, I was never planning on really suing him and my husband is not an attorney. I just wanted make him wake up and realize a contract is a contract and you can''t rescind afterwards because you realized you could get more money. He had the entire auction (6 days) to remove the listing and he didn''t. He also lied about not having the phone, he thought I would go away and he would sell it for more...he should''ve done that prior to the end of the auction.
And, it was a very placid discussion until you pointed out that you lied.
 

rainydaze

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
May 1, 2007
Messages
3,314
[/quote]

i would like to ask you to step outside the box and look at the situation in a different way.


you referred to the seller as a 'young man'. he appears to be new to ebay. you said he had to sell the phone to save money on the service. his correspondance to you was courteous, apologetic and without crassness. he sent you $125 when you went after him. he referenced other listings on ebay that you could buy from.


consider this perspective: he is a young person who, like many right now, may have been affected by the current economy and needed to cut back his expidentures. after listing his phone he may have discovered the other listings and realized he could have recouped more money, something that depending upon his financial situation right now could be very important for him. assuming he truly is new to ebay, he may not have known to put a reserve on it to ensure a certain selling price and he may not have known how to cancel the auction, or that he even could. he hoped that the buyer would give him a break and he could try again (and having gone through the learning curve, may very well have learned how to use ebay better at this point). however you did not cut him a break and instead applied a tactic that scared and bullied him to the point where he paid you. the manner he used while communicating with you suggests to me a reasonably decent person. i really don't think a crook/jerk would have sent you $125.... which is also why i think you feel so guilty and couldn't sleep even with the agreement of taking the $64. i think you know deep down this is just a kid who made an error - in part due to being 'green' about ebay - and got nailed by someone with more experience, resources and balls than him.


i think he may have just needed to learn how to use ebay. instead he may have learned never to utter that word again!
 

Diamond*Dana

Ideal_Rock
Premium
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Messages
7,305
Date: 2/26/2009 3:24:06 PM
Author: Maisie
I still don't understand why you should keep the difference between what he would have sold the phone for, and what you ended up paying. If that transaction didn't work out then thats a risk you take using Ebay. I know what he did was wrong but I still don't think you are entitled to any money from him.
I don't get this either. The guy that "sold" it to you is just a guy, not a store that price matches. I have sold on ebay for years, and purchased...I would never expect this as a buyer or a seller.

Oh well, enjoy your new phone.
 

bee*

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
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Messages
12,169
Date: 2/27/2009 10:56:23 AM
Author: arjunajane
Date: 2/27/2009 10:41:14 AM

Author: disneybride

Thank you, Pandora, for being rational and objective. These are the exact feelings I experienced during this transaction. His punk attitude of ''too bad'' is what really made me angry. You don''t treat customers like that and he should''ve ended the auction early if he realized he wasn''t getting any hits and wanted more money instead of waiting until it was over and I had won. $125 for a used phone is fair, and I don''t know where he got the delusion he could get $300 for it so I wish him all the best in that endeavor. I did refund him the rest of the money, though, minus the few dollars Paypal took out for fees. I talked to my good friend about it and she spoke to her fiance who is a lawyer and we all agreed it was fair for him to have to pay just the difference for what I had to pay between the two phones, so I sent the extra money back, but it still hung over my head all day and at the end of the night I couldn''t sleep. My gut feeling said it was wrong and he obviously learned his lesson if he sent the money to me. I made this decision based on my own feeling and not the spew of negativity on here.

Oh really come on disneybride! ''spew of negativity''?! Aren''t we getting just a lil victim-y here?


Honestly, if you feel you have been wronged in this thread, you should use the report concern button.

As others have mentioned, just because you didn''t receive the answers you wanted, it''s not good form to now get aggressive at everyone.


Perhaps more than one lesson needed learning in this situation
2.gif





And pandora, ditto maisie. Just because a thread gets a strong unanimous reaction, doesn''t make it a ''wolf pack'' ok..

totally agree AJ. I''m still sitting here with my mouth open in shock reading this. It just shocks me how people can be sometimes.
 

Brown.Eyed.Girl

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 4, 2008
Messages
6,893
Ok Disneybride, I hate to say this so bluntly, but it is NOT your job as a buyer to reprimand a seller or teach him a lesson. Yes, what he did wasn''t the greatest, but what YOU did - threatening false legal action - was worse. Stop acting like the victim - you said you "intentionally overreacted" to teach him a lesson. So you took the conscious step of doing this, and guess what? Most of us think your move was in very bad taste and not well thought out. Let it go.
 

atroop711

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 31, 2005
Messages
2,844
you took this to a level that it had no business going to. He didn''t take your money and not send you the phone. As a buyer and seller on ebay..this happen to items. Once I had purchase a clothing set for my daughter. The seller told me they had a flood in their home and the outfit was ruined. Did I say I was going to sue him? No..I just went on my way with my money.

Just let it go and this man owes you nothing in my opinion. Maybe I misread your post..but if you never sent him the payment for the phone, he doesn''t owe you $125.
 

atroop711

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 31, 2005
Messages
2,844
Date: 2/26/2009 2:06:42 PM
Author: disneybride
For the record, I was never planning on really suing him and my husband is not an attorney. I just wanted make him wake up and realize a contract is a contract and you can''t rescind afterwards because you realized you could get more money. He had the entire auction (6 days) to remove the listing and he didn''t. He also lied about not having the phone, he thought I would go away and he would sell it for more...he should''ve done that prior to the end of the auction.


think about this..when you order online, there is a chance that the item you ordered will be out of stock and the site isn''t updated. Will you threaten to sue then? BTW he was dumb to believe that your dh was a lawyer. I would let it go and stop being a drama queen.
 

atroop711

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 31, 2005
Messages
2,844
Date: 2/27/2009 12:06:57 AM
Author: disneybride
No, the phone cost me $64 more from having to buy it elsewhere. I didn''t threaten harm, violence, or any kind of pain on this person so I''m not sure where the extremely over-the-top, high-on-the-horse morals are coming from on this thread. He reneged to screw me out of money and a phone and flat out told me it was because he wanted to sell it for more, after the auction had already ended. I never received a phone from him so the several people jumping to significantly wrong conclusions need to go back and actually pay attention to what I wrote. Thank you so much for the unwanted advice and candid moral lessons. I didn''t ask for them and your reactions aren''t bothering me. I wanted to know if people thought I should return it or not. Got my answers, thank you, and let this be the end of this thread.
The reactions on this thread is coming from your dramatic attitude. He didn''t take your money and run..you could have just been annoyed but you reacted as if he stole from you. You reaction was over the top. It was way over the top and extremely dramatic. I wonder if you are related to my dad''s side of the family?

You didn''t ask for opinions but you are getting them because you posted on a public site. You asked what you thought was a simple question and ppl answered but with their explanations
 
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