My wedding ring arrived: Need Input Please!

[Rhea]

I think the stones in the band are set too high. The ring isn''t too blingy but it looks off to me.

 

[lesco]

Date: 5/9/2008 6:00:23 PM
Author: melpla
ERD has a 14-day return policy, as long as the ring isn''t custom made (which mine isn''t as far as I know). So, I think it should be returnable.

My engagement ring is around 5mm high total, from the band to top of the diamond. I think the band itself is about 2mm high. So, what I think I need is a diamond band to go with it that measures around 2mm high total from the bottom of the band to the top of the diamonds. Do those exist? I seem to only see ones that are taller than that, around 2.5mm or higher...

Thanks for everyone''s comments. You all have helped me feel better about the situation, and like it''s not totally my fault.

Again, you were very clear with the vendor about your expectations. Please don''t even think for one second this is your fault. Please!

I went on a "guilt trip" of my own with a similar situation. Bottom line is, this is a business transaction - nothing else nothing more. You are within your return period should you wish to get your money back. You decide what works best in your situation but please do not feel pressured to settle for something you don''t want.

It will work out...

 

[Sharon101]

Date: 5/9/2008 7:47:30 PM
Author: lesco

Date: 5/9/2008 6:00:23 PM
Author: melpla
ERD has a 14-day return policy, as long as the ring isn''t custom made (which mine isn''t as far as I know). So, I think it should be returnable.

My engagement ring is around 5mm high total, from the band to top of the diamond. I think the band itself is about 2mm high. So, what I think I need is a diamond band to go with it that measures around 2mm high total from the bottom of the band to the top of the diamonds. Do those exist? I seem to only see ones that are taller than that, around 2.5mm or higher...

Thanks for everyone''s comments. You all have helped me feel better about the situation, and like it''s not totally my fault.

Again, you were very clear with the vendor about your expectations. Please don''t even think for one second this is your fault. Please!

I went on a ''guilt trip'' of my own with a similar situation. Bottom line is, this is a business transaction - nothing else nothing more. You are within your return period should you wish to get your money back. You decide what works best in your situation but please do not feel pressured to settle for something you don''t want.

It will work out...

I agree so strongly here. You are actually feeling guilty for someone wanting you to buy something that you were very clear about!!!! I agree that it is not your fault and dont feel pressured about returning it.

The ring does not look great with your beautiful er.

I just want to remind eveyone that as much as we may feel like a great big family here. The vendors are running a business and are in the business to sell. They are not anyones best friends. Not that they are pretending to be!!!! I only mean that you have to do whats best for you, as once the deal is over , you are the one stuck with the item that you wouldnt have bought under other circumstances.

 

[tberube]

OH man. That really stinks that you''re going through all this stress about your wedding band, just weeks before your wedding. Let me first say that both these rings are beautiful, and I think overall, style-wise, you''ve made excellent choices.

With that said, I don''t personally like a wedding band to be "taller" than the ering. I went through this same problem with my wedding set, and it took 2 returns and about $700 lost dollars before I finally just tried on bands in person, to find out EXACTLY what I wanted to go with my ring. So, if you do decide to keep looking for "the" ring, my suggestion is to drop into a jewelry store and try a few diamond bands on your finger. And as for getting married in three weeks, worst case scenario you can get a plain band for now and use it as a stacker later on.

Good luck with this...I hope you find exactly what you want!

 

[Dreamer_D]

Signed pieced has tonnes of beautiful bands that are less than 2mm high... check it out. http://www.signedpieces.com/item.cfm?item_id=2693

They als ohave eternity bands with smaller ct. weight for less $$.

 

[melpla]

Most of the rings I see online don''t say what the height is; it''s so hard to tell if they''ll sit well with my ring.

I heard back from the vendor tonight. He is saying that there''s no way I could get a flush fit with my e-ring, because my e-ring sits quite low (a 2mm band). The only way he thinks I could have a flush fit is with a ring of .02pts, which would be very hard to see. I don''t think he''s trying to give me a hard time--perhaps he''s right that my ring just sits too low to go well with an diamond wedding band? He thinks even a channel set ring wouldn''t sit flush with it. Still, I wish I''d realized this before purchasing.

I guess I still have lots to learn about rings, because I thought it was possible to get a nice shared prong ring that wouldn''t overpower my low-sitting e-ring. Does anyone know of diamond bands that sit really low? I don''t need a certain number of stones or total carat weight. I would go with less TCW if the ring sat lower and looked better with my ring.

 

[Skippy123]

Beautiful, congrats! Another ERD, beauty! hehe

 

[Kaleigh]

Are you near a Tiffany's? They have a band that is shared prong, basket style setting and it's quite low. I have one but it's in the safety deposit box...

Can we understand flush for a sec? Flush means how close the ering sits next to a wedding band. As in will there be a gap, etc.. This doesn't seem to be the issue, the issue is the HEIGHT of the wedding band sitting next to your ering. Basically you want the ering, and wedding band to be the same height, not the wedding band being taller.

The profile of the set you want, is that they will be equal in height. I don't see why he's harping on flush, it's a misunderstanding from what I can see.

So after all this, basket style shared prong should do it.

 

[melpla]

When he said flush, he was referring to the height. I left out some of the context, but that''s how he meant it.

I am not near a Tiffany''s. Also, I''m not sure I could afford a ring from there Mark made this ring for $600, which is freakin'' awesome. It''s such a gorgeous ring, too. That''s why it''s driving me nuts that it is so tall.

 

[Diamond*Dana]

I agree that the band looks a bit high for your e-ring...have you thought about another style of band? Channel set would be lower...

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 5/9/2008 11:53:24 PM
Author: melpla
When he said flush, he was referring to the height. I left out some of the context, but that''s how he meant it.

I am not near a Tiffany''s. Also, I''m not sure I could afford a ring from there Mark made this ring for $600, which is freakin'' awesome. It''s such a gorgeous ring, too. That''s why it''s driving me nuts that it is so tall.

I wasn''t saying to buy one there, just to try one on... I''d ask him if you can send this back and switch to the basket style. I am sure, he has access to them...

 

[melpla]

I''ll check about the basket-style. I didn''t realize they were lower. He said that a channel set ring wouldn''t even sit as low as my e-ring, so I''m not sure...

 

[Moko]

Date: 5/9/2008 3:25:27 PM
Author: mrssalvo
I do understand mark saying the band stones can''t be set any lower. If it really, really bothers you can you change out your e-ring setting? that might be easier. you have a lovely set though.

I think your current rings are both beautiful, but I also think the wedding band is taller than e-ring, which would bother me too.

Do you love the wedding band if it sit flash with your e-ring?
Then, I am with mrssalvo. I am wondering if Mark can make your e-ring in taller setting in the same model to make it sit flash with your wedding band. It would be easier.

I am so sorry that you have to go through such pain just before your wedding, but I agree with others. You should get what you are satisfied with, otherwise it will keep bothering you.

 

[Moko]

I meant return the current e-ring and order your e-ring in higher setting in the same style.

 

[NeverEndingUpgrade]

Both rings are beautiful, but the w-band detracts from your cushion diamond. Someone else mentioned returning the diamond band and getting a plain band to wear until you can find the right band. Is that a possibility? Going with a band with smaller diamonds would highlight your diamond more, I would think. I do love the look of your diamond.

 

[melpla]

Yes, it may be possible to return the ring. I could probably get a plain band for the wedding. That may be what I''ll have to do.

Maybe a band with smaller diamonds would work better. Mark said that I''d need stones that are .02pts to get it to sit flush, but that those would be so small you could hardly see them. I can''t really visualize what different points of stones look like. I usually think of rings in terms of TCW...how do you determine the points of the individual stones?

I looked at a few rings locally, and there were a couple that looked flush with my ring. They had more stones (11-15 I think) and less total carat weight (around .30tcw I think). They had a very delicate look with a thinner band than my e-ring. I didn''t mind the delicate look at all. The problem is, they were at least $1,000, which is way too high for us, especially when online vendors have superior product at such better prices.

I guess what I''m worried about is that I don''t know if what I want exists, and, if it does exist, how to communicate it to online vendors. I''d buy locally if I was sure I wasn''t getting ripped off. What to do, what to do...

Getting a new engagement ring setting isn''t really possible right now since that would mean even more money. Thanks for all the advice, though. I''m taking everything into consideration.

 

[lesco]

Out of curiosity. Do you know how "tall" is the wedding band? As others mentioned, a 2mm band is pretty attainable and Mark should be able to accommodate you. I bet this is a very popular request these days. Most gals are going for e-rings that are set on the low side. We need the wedding bands to match right?

They are both beautiful rings so if you end up keeping the band - the price is awesome - there is nothing wrong with that either.

ETA: I kinda disagree on you needing smaller stones... To me, the setting (metal) is higher. The diamonds got nothing to do with it but I'm no jeweler what do I know?

 

[melpla]

Do you think a ring that had more stones and less total carat weight would sit lower, or is size/number of stones not so relevant? For instance, would you think this ring is likely to be shorter than that one I just bought? http://www.idjewelryonline.com/product_info.php?cPath=22_27&products_id=2316

 

[melpla]

lesco-- I think the wedding band is 3mm tall. That's what it appears when I hold it up to my computer screen against this millimeter ruler And I am talking about the total height, from the bottom of the band to the top of the stones, not just the gold part.

3mm doesn't seem that tall, but my e-ring is only 5mm tall from the bottom of the band to the top of the stone.

ETA--lesco, I know what you mean about it seeming as though the metal (not the stones) are what's making the ring so tall. This ring seems to have quite a bit of metal under the stones. I wonder if all the metal is necessary.

 

[lesco]

That's what I thought. 3mm. I think that's a tad higher than average. Hopefully, other more knowledgeable PSers will chime in on this one.

As far as your other question, it's hard to see from the picture as it's not a complete profile.
check overstock.com. They had a couple settings that are in your price range. I'm still too shy to suggest anything! Just another option.

 

[Imdanny]

Date: 5/9/2008 5:04:07 PM
Author: lesco

Date: 5/9/2008 4:47:48 PM

Author: dreamer_dachsie

I think you were clear. It doesn't matter if he 'hopes it won't be returned'. If you aren't happy, send it back.

2 words my dear... return it... you might go down a very slippery slope. I was given a similar speech today.

I'm sorry you are going through this.


ETA: I was referring to your quote: 'he said he really hoped it wouldn't be returned after all this (I guess referring to our emailing back and forth about it)'. My humble .50 cents.... Take it for whatever is worth.

he hopes it won't be returned?? I hope YOU will be happy after "all this"- saying three times you didn't want it to be too high. I agree with what these ladie have said. Ignore this pressure he's putting on you- if you have 14 days- YOU get to decide whether to return it- just do it. You're not going to be happy with it. You can get a plain white gold band for very little money at e-weddingbands if you want and worry about all this later! Good luck!

 

[meffaman]

You sound like one of the nicest people around, someone who isn''t willing to upset anyone except yourself. This is one of those times where you have to realize this is business and you have to exercise your right to return the ring. I''d cut the cord with this, get a simple band for the wedding like a lot of people have suggested and circle back when things settle down in your life. Don''t compound this problem by rushing within a 2 week timeline to modify the ring or something else that''ll probably just frustrate you more.

Enjoy your wedding and the time leading up to it.

 

[jennalyns]

I agree that your band looks like it has a lot of metal. I tried on a bunch of bands that sat very low, so they're not that uncommon... Signed pieces (www.signedpieces.com, go to their facets collection) has eternity bands that are 1.5 mm high for the smallest CTW shared prong, and 1.7 mm for the channel set smallest CTW. I have a channel-set half-eternity band from them that is 1.8 mm high, it sits very low (the stones are sapphires and the same size as 3 point diamonds, which is plenty visable and I think would look awesome with your lovely engagement ring!!). I don't understand why this guy is giving you such a hard time, it is should be no problem to make a band lower than 3mm.... SP's prices are high but they're all listed for platinum; they can make white gold on request. I agree with the other posters that you should return it, get a plain band for the wedding, and then find the band that you love when you don't have time pressure. Please don't let him guilt-trip you into settling! I am the same way as you, I let myself get guilt-tripped about stuff like that, but this is your WEDDING BAND!!! You should be completely thrilled, and if you're not there are plenty more vendors in the sea.

Good luck, I hope you find something perfect!!

 

[melpla]

I asked the Signed Pieces folks back in February if they could make a ring in white gold for me, and they said that they weren''t making rings in gold for the time being due to the volatile metal prices. I''m going to email them today to see if that''s changed. I do see that they list the height of their rings, and they''re quite a bit lower than this one.

 

[Ice Princess Cristy]

Isn''t it amazing how we can feel guiltly about returning items that don''t measure up to our expectations! I think it just shows how compassionate you are.... but.... this is something you should have forever and you definately want to be able to look down on your ring and be filled with joy and not be bothered by it.
I agree with the others, it''s too high and I prefer the rings to be flush..... Good luck!

 

[October2008bride]

Hi Melpha!!

I have a wedding band from ERD as well and it wasn''t exactly what I wanted, and let me tell you he has been GREAT as far as getting it remade - Mark is a total gentleman who stands by his product so don''t stress out! It will get fixed!

As far as your ring - I do agree that it looks too high. It is hard with stock settings (and not paying for custom) because you never know what they will be like because we order off the net.

I know someone suggested the basket setting - but let me warn you that the stock basket setting is also too high (that is the reason I am getting mine remade). It is very pretty but not as low as I would like.

Honestly, I would just talk to Mark - explain that it is too high and ask him about another setting that sits lower - it may not be possible before the wedding, but that''s not the end of the world! If you are worried about that, the suggestion of having a plain gold band for the wedding is a good one. I for one wouldn''t have a problem getting married with this one and then having the diamonds reset into a lower setting.

Anyways - just some suggestions- just call Mark and talk to him. He will make it right!

 

[Love Street]

Date: 5/10/2008 12:05:04 AM
Author: Kaleigh

Date: 5/9/2008 11:53:24 PM
Author: melpla
When he said flush, he was referring to the height. I left out some of the context, but that''s how he meant it.

I am not near a Tiffany''s. Also, I''m not sure I could afford a ring from there Mark made this ring for $600, which is freakin'' awesome. It''s such a gorgeous ring, too. That''s why it''s driving me nuts that it is so tall.

I wasn''t saying to buy one there, just to try one on... I''d ask him if you can send this back and switch to the basket style. I am sure, he has access to them...

I agree with others that another style of ring - such as the Tiffany-style basket-set band - would sit lower and would be more pleasing, proportionally, with your beautiful e-ring.

I also have a low-set e-ring, and have a shared-prong basket-set style eternity band. The diamonds aren''t as big as you have in your band (it''s eternity, and .86 total for I think 28 stones, so I think around .03) - but being shared prong it''s blingy enough without taking away from my e-ring - which is smaller than your beauty. Not sure if you''d want to sacrafice that much carat weight but it''s very low and still substantially blingy, and even the bigger ones I tried on still sat quite low (pic attached for reference - my ctr is a .83 RB). My band is from T, but it''s not as if that design is unique to them. I know Maytal Hannah has a similar one on her site - I''d imagine if there are ready-made ones out there (and I find it hard to believe that only T & Maytal would make this style!!), Mark would or should have access to them.

My .02 - but don''t stick with it b/c you feel guilty - I have the tendency to do the same thing so I understand, but you''re the one paying $ who will have to live with this every day. Good luck.