My wedding ring arrived: Need Input Please!

[melpla]

I purchased a diamond band from Mark at ERD to wear with my cushion solitaire engagement ring, also purchased from Mark. I bought the ring sight unseen, but sent Mark photos of what I had in mind and discussed with him that I wanted the wedding band to sit as flush as possible with my engagement ring.

Well, the ring is absolutely gorgeous. But when I first put it on, I felt that it seemed too boxy on my finger and with my engagement ring. I was sitting in the car at the time. When I got out and looked at the rings on my finger from a standing position, the boxiness didn''t bother me as much. The rings don''t sit perfectly flush, but I think I am getting used to how they look together.

Please let me know what you think. Does the wedding band seem odd or too square or tall next to my e-ring? Does it overpower my e-ring, which is a .77 cushion? The wedding band TCW is .50. Thanks!!

Several photos to follow....

 

[melpla]

Another photo.

 

[melpla]

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[melpla]

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[melpla]

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[melpla]

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[melpla]

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[melpla]

Another.

 

[neatfreak]

I don''t think it overpowers it...but I do prefer when eternity bands are the same/similar heights to the engagement ring. Maybe that is why you think it looks "off"? I wonder if Mark can get you something that is a bit lower set? I think that would really compliment your beautiful ering.

 

[melpla]

Here''s the last one. I don''t know if these images show accurately how the two rings look together. the last two are blurry but hopefully give you a sense of how the two rings compare in height, etc.

 

[swingirl]

It looks a little high. Does it bump into the head of your ering? I compared it to my WF 3/4 eternity and yours stands a bit taller. But I don't mind the amount of bling!

 

[DiamondGirly]

It does look tall but it''s not anything that''s noticeable unless you draw attention to it. A shared prong or channel set ring night look better but of course that''s up to you.

 

[melpla]

Thanks for the input Neatfreak. Do you mean that you the top of the diamonds in the wedding band should be equal to the e-ring band? That''s sort of what I was thinking, too. I called Mark today after I got the ring, and he said that the stones couldn''t be set any lower, but that I''d need smaller stones if I wanted them to sit lower. I don''t know.

 

[melpla]

I was thinking it looks high also. I''m not sure why Mark said they couldn''t be any lower. I''m starting to freak out a bit, since you all seem to think that the ring is too high also.

 

[mrssalvo]

I love the band and your e-ring and don't think the stones overpower your e-ring stone at all. i do agree that the band is a little too high, or e-ring a little to low but that's because I like rings to be the same height too. The giant size pics will make the difference far more apparent though than I bet it is in real life. I do understand mark saying the band stones can't be set any lower. If it really, really bothers you can you change out your e-ring setting? that might be easier. you have a lovely set though.

 

[Kaleigh]

I think it looks a little high too. It's a lovely band. I like the ering and the wedding band to be the same height, but thats just me.
Your ering is gorgeous!!

 

[Circe]

Well, first things first: your engagement ring is gorgeous! Just had to get that out there.

Regarding the wedding ring ... I think it looks gorgeous head-on, but the side-view has me worrying that the w-ring might eat into your setting eventually. I''m also a bit puzzled as to why a lower setting can''t be procured ... .50 seems eminently reasonable, and a shared prong, bead-set, or channel-set band would all the fit the low-set bill. Don''t freak out! Your ring is gorgeous, and this is definitely something that can be rectified. The important thing is that *you* are happy.

 

[melpla]

Thanks for the feedback, everyone. I just emailed Mark a few photos so that he could see how the diamond band stands quite tall next to my engagement ring. I'm just upset because I'm getting married in 3 weeks. Also, I know it was risky buying a ring over the internet without seeing it first, but my main request all along was that the band not be too high, which I communicated to him several times, and stressed as my main concern. And I was soooo thrilled with the engagement ring I bought from him. To be fair, Mark said he would "do his best" but couldn't guarantee that the rings would sit flush. Still, I wish they were flusher than this. I think Mark does fantastic work, and he's awesome to work with, so I do not in any way mean to suggest otherwise. I only use his name because I know that it is respected on this board, so you all would know that I was working with an expert and not just buying things willy-nilly over the internet.

And yet, my ring is too tall, dangit! Also, I was not informed before ordering/purchasing the ring that the ring could not be set lower unless I used smaller stones.

By the way, this ring is shared prong. And I am doubtful that Mark can/will have the setting lowered. We've spent our entire budget already, so I can't get a new setting.

 

[purrfectpear]

I''m surprised the same vendor made both rings. They don''t even have similar profiles at all. It''s like he didn''t make any attempt to integrate the two?

 

[melpla]

Well, this ring isn't a custom-made ring. But, I was under the distinct impression that steps could be taken to make sure the ring wasn't too tall. We had email correspondence regarding the height of my e-ring and the fact that I wanted the rings to sit flush. I'm feeling sick about it. The ring is so beautiful, and I don't think I can find another in this same price range in 3 weeks. Plus, I don't know that he would even take the ring back. In his mind, he made exactly what I wanted.

I think part of the problem may be that I initially sent ERD a photo of this ring from another site to give them an idea of what I wanted. BUT, I explicitly said I would like to have them do the ring, if they could ensure that it wouldn't be too tall with the other ring I got from them. I was under the impression that was possible, but now it doesn't seem that it was. Since the ring looks like the ring in the photo I sent, it seems I got what I asked for. However, I thought we understood one another regarding the height. Apparently we didn't.

I should also add that my engagement ring setting isn't custom made. It is a standard ring available to purchase on the ERD website.

 

[Dreamer_D]

I also think they are gorgeous, the stones do not overpower, but the wedding band sits too high for my preference. I notice you keep talking about them sitting "flush"... this term usually refers to the two bands sitting right next to each other without a gap. The issue that seems to be bothering you is that the two rings are different heights, or thinknesses off the finger. So if you have been talking to Mark about rings sitting "flush", this may cause communicaton issues.

I am very puzzled about his assertion that the ring cannot be set lower, though, since I have an eternity band where the stones are similar size, or bigger actually, and it sits lower I think.

Keep trying, don''t panic. It will all work out.

 

[melpla]

I'm going through our email correspondence to see what I said with regard to height or flush-ness. I did mention height several times, and initially contacted Mark to find out the exact height of my engagement ring setting to help inform my search for a wedding band. Here are a couple of excerpts from my emails to him:

"I was wondering if you could tell me the height of my setting. It's the plain white gold one you offer for square stones. I'm attaching a pic of my ring to remind you...I'm looking at a .50tcw shared prong diamond wedding band that is 2.5 width and 2.6mm height, and I'm not sure whether it will be too much for my ring..."

“My main concerns are that the band is in balance with my engagement ring, and that the anniversary band isn't too tall next to my solitaire ring. I also hope that the girdles of the stones won't stick out and scratch the prongs on my solitaire (at least as little as possible).”

“I'm still trying to find a wedding band from an online vendor, and I'm trying to determine what height/width band will look best with my engagement ring. I have this setting from you:
http://engagementringsdirect.com/jewelry/Engagement-Rings/Classic-Solitaire-Ring-Collection/2850
You told me previously that the width was around 2.2, but I was wondering about the height of the band. I can't eyeball it and tell...If I knew the height of my engagement ring setting, that would help me in my search.”

I feel like I stressed height a lot. But as I said, Mark said the rings "may not be exactly the same height", but that he would "work with me." I think we maybe had different ideas about how much height difference was acceptable.

 

[surfgirl]

melpa, I too prefer when the wband sits on the finger in the same height as the ering...I think what I''m seeing when I look at your set is that the side of the wband setting is very prominent and it overpowers the wband and the ering. I think you can get a really gorgeous look if you go with the same number of stones, but do either channel set or shared prong, but in a low to the finger basket setting. Try on some to see what works best. I think there''s nothing more timeless that the look you''re going for, I just think the setting of the wband is a bit clunky.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 5/9/2008 4:34:01 PM
Author: melpla
I''m going through our email correspondence to see what I said with regard to height or flush-ness. I did mention height several times, and initially contacted Mark to find out the exact height of my engagement ring setting to help inform my search for a wedding band. Here are a couple of excerpts from my emails to him:

''I was wondering if you could tell me the height of my setting. It''s the plain white gold one you offer for square stones. I''m attaching a pic of my ring to remind you...I''m looking at a .50tcw shared prong diamond wedding band that is 2.5 width and 2.6mm height, and I''m not sure whether it will be too much for my ring...''

“My main concerns are that the band is in balance with my engagement ring, and that the anniversary band isn''t too tall next to my solitaire ring. I also hope that the girdles of the stones won''t stick out and scratch the prongs on my solitaire (at least as little as possible).”

“I''m still trying to find a wedding band from an online vendor, and I''m trying to determine what height/width band will look best with my engagement ring. I have this setting from you:
http://engagementringsdirect.com/jewelry/Engagement-Rings/Classic-Solitaire-Ring-Collection/2850
You told me previously that the width was around 2.2, but I was wondering about the height of the band. I can''t eyeball it and tell...If I knew the height of my engagement ring setting, that would help me in my search.”

I feel like I stressed height a lot. But as I said, Mark said the rings ''may not be exactly the same height'', but that he would ''work with me.'' I think we maybe had different ideas about how much height difference was acceptable.

Sounds like you were perfectly clear! Does ERD have a refund policy? If so, I would recommend returning your present band and getting one your love. For your wedding, you could use a plain gold band, which is always nice to have when you want just a simple ring (when travelling etc). www.e-weddingbands.com is very reasonably priced and can get it to you fast. www.signedpieces.com has beautiful shared prong half eternity bands, and their half-carat band is only 2.1mm thick.

 

[melpla]

Well, I am partly responsible then since I sent him a photo of this setting from another site. So, if the setting design itself is clunky, then I guess it''s my at least partly my fault. I was looking for expert advice on whether the ring would be to tall for my ring, and I guess he was relying more on me to tell him what to do. I don''t think he''ll take the ring back, so I''m really worried. When I asked him today about possibly returning it, he said he really hoped it wouldn''t be returned after all this (I guess referring to our emailing back and forth about it). And I''m not sure I''ll hear from him for a couple of days, since it''s the weekend. Hopefully he can work with me to make something lower. I feel bad all around. I didn''t have my heart set on this setting at all. I just wanted something the same height as my ring. I guess I should have insisted on that a lot more.

 

[Dreamer_D]

I think you were clear. It doesn't matter if he "hopes it won't be returned". If you aren't happy, send it back.

 

[lesco]

Date: 5/9/2008 4:47:48 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie
I think you were clear. It doesn't matter if he 'hopes it won't be returned'. If you aren't happy, send it back.

2 words my dear... return it... you might go down a very slippery slope. I was given a similar speech today.
I'm sorry you are going through this.

ETA: I was referring to your quote: "he said he really hoped it wouldn't be returned after all this (I guess referring to our emailing back and forth about it)". My humble .50 cents.... Take it for whatever is worth.

 

[motownmama]

Don''t settle if you''re not 100% happy. A simple plain band is a great idea for the wedding while you get this worked out - then wear them both or alternate. Don''t stress - it will all work out. Good luck!

 

[Circe]

Ditto and thritto to DreamerDaschie and Lesco - I''ve never worked with Mark, but on the basis of reputation, I have a lot of respect for him. As a professional, I''m pretty sure he''ll understand the problem here once he sees the pictures - and as a member of this board (going on reputation again) I''m sure he''ll do his best to accommodate you.

 

[melpla]

ERD has a 14-day return policy, as long as the ring isn''t custom made (which mine isn''t as far as I know). So, I think it should be returnable.

My engagement ring is around 5mm high total, from the band to top of the diamond. I think the band itself is about 2mm high. So, what I think I need is a diamond band to go with it that measures around 2mm high total from the bottom of the band to the top of the diamonds. Do those exist? I seem to only see ones that are taller than that, around 2.5mm or higher...

Thanks for everyone''s comments. You all have helped me feel better about the situation, and like it''s not totally my fault.