My story...

[Cehrabehra]

It's been over 15 years since the proposal... and I've learned a lot about my husband, or men in general, since then! lol Sometimes they can be so sweetly idiotic!

Because my hubtobe was in the military and living across the states, we talked about an engagement but he a) insisted on doing it in person (great!) and b) wanted to know whether or not he should spend the money to fly out to do it, essentially asking what my answer was going to be in his all-too-endeering and practical way LOL I told him to just get his butt out there and see what happens and he did He asked me if I'd want an engagment ring and I told him, "Honey, you can't afford what I want." and we agreed that it would be better to save the money. First disappointment... when you secretly hope your new husband gets you even a chip of a rock to say I love you let's commemorate this, and he doesn't, because you told him not to. First lesson - be more direct! LOL! But girls, it's time now - yay! Hence my discovery of pricescope!

So he flies out and we spend all day friday and saturday and sunday going to the most amazingi places, walking across the golden gate bridge, going to the beach, to see the statue of David in SF, doing things around my apt in san jose... just doing all of these amazing things... (why why why do men wait until the last moment before they pop the question?? dorks!) and so it's the afternoon on the last full day and we're going to head back to my house, maybe have a romantic evening, I'm thinking... and he says, hey, let's go to golden gate park and look at the buffalo. I'm okay, okay - sure. Let's look at the buffalo and hurry up so we can get home... so we're standing there in front of the buffalo and he starts to drop to one knee and I blink at him and say OH NO NONONONONONO and he says, YES! and I say uh no no way, no way are you going to do this here, and he says, "but I love you and I want to know if you will..." and I just grabbed his hand and pulled him up and started walking. I had NO idea where, but I knew it wasn't in front of the buffalo LOL So I drag him for about 3 minutes through brush and trees, past buildings until we come to this clearing that's about a half a football field and there's no one there... it's surrounded by trees and just amazing... and we find a spot under a tree and sit on a patch of those little daisies... and he says, "I want to know if you will be my wife." and I'm like um, that's not how it goes (in my head) and I say nothing. In my head I'm thinking none of this is real until I hear: "Will you marry me?" .... and... he doesn't say it. He gives out like 5 or 6 (repeating them sometimes, he's endlessly patient LMAO!) different versions of "I want to spend my life with you." and no "will you marry me" and I just sit there and say nothing... minutes go by... minutes and minutes and still I can't say anything. Finally I whispered very quietly that he was 'supposed' to say "will you marry me" and he laughs and he says it and I say yes and we kiss... I was such a dork back then! LOL But so was he! Seriously - the buffalo over the view from GG bridge? BAHAHAHAHAHA we're still in love

We got married at the JP on a wednesday so that on our 2nd anniversary we could have a renewal with all of our friends and family... we had an outdoor renewal... right on the same spot in the daisies where I had accepted his proposal

It's been 15 years this past june and I'M STILL waiting for that "engagement" ring, but this year he told me it was time... :*) I've told him it'll be the only ring I wear on my wedding hand... and I call it The One Ring (to rule them all lol).

PS I've known him 31 years - since I was 5 and he was 3. We got married at 19 and 21. We have kids that will be 12, 7 and 5 NEXT WEEK on the 16th anniversary of our first date

 

[diamondfan]

What a great story! Gotta love the romance of buffalos. I am so glad you will finally get what you want. Men are like children, they are very literal...if you say NO they do not delve beneath the surface, sad to say. We tend to flip things over, examine them, discuss, dissect, analyze, and then do it some more. Men are pretty simple creatures, LIKE BUFFALOS! Take it at face value and move on (or do not listen at all) and that is it. I cannot wait to see what you get, enjoy it like crazy!

Hey, I am 40, have known my hubby since I was 15, (did not date the whole time though), are celebrating our 16th in August, and I have three boys, 13 1/2, 11, and 4 1/2...how funny.

 

[mia15]

What an amazingly sweet story! Thank you for sharing it.

It''s so touching that the two of you are still happy and in love.

 

[Cehrabehra]

My younger two are boys and my oldest is a girl... she''s going to jr high this next year ::sniff:: and my baby is off to kinder! YAY! lol!!!

As I was finishing typing this, my husband walked in and after I hit send I let him read it... he''s too cute.

 

[diamondfan]

My little guy is going into Pre-K...he missed the cut off to be 5 by the time school starts. It is bittersweet, he is definitely my last and the time is flying! More precious than anything, and he lights up the house. (and is a bit spoiled by all of us, truth be told)...it really does go by fast!

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 7/18/2006 2:32:39 AM
Author: emeraldlover
What an amazingly sweet story! Thank you for sharing it.

It''s so touching that the two of you are still happy and in love.

We are... even in the darkest times of marriage (like at years 6- I never fell out of love. Sometimes I wanted to leave him and sometimes I felt like I didn''t love him, but I was always still in love. Hard to explain... I remember it even getting to a fragile hair and in the end it never wavered. Learning to be together for the long haul can be tough... but once you realize marriage is a true roller coaster with wonderous highs and terrible lows, you get stronger and are able to weather the valleys much more smoothly as time goes by. The highs are not that constant high of new love, but it is incredibly solid and secure, trust isn''t an issue. And the moments still come that skyrocket you up to those same feelings you had when you fell in love, they just don''t last as long because there is garbage to take out and bills to pay and kids to feed and all of the other mundane stuff that makes a partnership. It''s pretty cool. I made a wise choice and am lucky to love him every bit as much as he loves me.

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 7/18/2006 2:37:41 AM
Author: diamondfan
My little guy is going into Pre-K...he missed the cut off to be 5 by the time school starts. It is bittersweet, he is definitely my last and the time is flying! More precious than anything, and he lights up the house. (and is a bit spoiled by all of us, truth be told)...it really does go by fast!

we put the 5 year gap between the first two on purpose (it was also during the aforementioned sag in our relationship) and we really liked that gap and planned to do it a second time for our 3rd but alas, fate intervened 3 years early and there is only a two year gap between my two boys. For 2 years it was hell LOL I''m so looking forward to when the youngest is in first grade and I have some time every day to myself. It was a MAJOR adjustment for me to get married and another one to have a child... then three! I still haven''t recovered in some ways LOL I''m sure a day will come when I look back and regret these moments, but at least I''ll be able to console myself that I regained my sanity! lol!

 

[diamondfan]

We did sort of the reverse, married in August 1990 and by November 1992 had first, then by July 1995 had the second...not soooo close together, by my second guy was colicky and had severe reflux, special formula, medication, projectile you know what...NOTa good time. It really took me the 5 or 6 years to have the third. I mean, I thought about it, but had to really put some distance between me and that time period. Of course, he (my 11 year old) snapped out of it by about a year, and is my sweetest smiling guy, but that year nearly did me in, two little kids and even though I had a nanny, I was in graduate school and my husband traveled extensively...so, I was up all night with a screaming baby, running around during the day with my oldest and then going to class in the evenings and trying to get papers and projects done! I am amazed I survived it. And thankfully, the fibromyalgia and thyroid stuff was not hitting me then, I would NOT have made it. (Just major migraines which lack of sleep and poor eating did not help).

It is amazing what we can accomplish. And you know that marriage, great though it is, can have those bad times. You have survived them and are stronger. Sadly, sometimes people end up with the wrong person and need to end the marriage. But even for those of us who were lucky enough to have picked a great life partner, there are still times you look at the person and think, Now where in the heck did YOU come from??? and you really have to think about it and persevere. It is surely not all moonlight and roses...but so worth it in the end. I am really glad you guys are still so tight. By the way, what does your screen name mean? (forgive me if you answered elsewhere!)

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 7/18/2006 2:52:50 AM
Author: diamondfan
We did sort of the reverse, married in August 1990 and by November 1992 had first, then by July 1995 had the second...not soooo close together, by my second guy was colicky and had severe reflux, special formula, medication, projectile you know what...NOTa good time. It really took me the 5 or 6 years to have the third. I mean, I thought about it, but had to really put some distance between me and that time period. Of course, he (my 11 year old) snapped out of it by about a year, and is my sweetest smiling guy, but that year nearly did me in, two little kids and even though I had a nanny, I was in graduate school and my husband traveled extensively...so, I was up all night with a screaming baby, running around during the day with my oldest and then going to class in the evenings and trying to get papers and projects done! I am amazed I survived it. And thankfully, the fibromyalgia and thyroid stuff was not hitting me then, I would NOT have made it. (Just major migraines which lack of sleep and poor eating did not help).

My middle child is my challenge child - he wasn''t a difficult baby - quite the reverse! But by the time he was two we thought he might be autistic... he was so WEIRD and SO difficult as a 2-4 year old. Not bratty or stubborn, just HIGHLY impulsive and compeletely on a different wavelength... (turns out he''s gifted, little weirdo lol - I can say that because the older he is the more he''s like me rofl!!!) and I was pregnant when he was just 15 mos old. The youngest was thankfully the easiest baby in the world, but it was tough on my daughter who had me to herself for 5 years and I had to just tell her to be patient with me for about 3-4 years and I think she suffered for it. It was tough.

It is amazing what we can accomplish. And you know that marriage, great though it is, can have those bad times. You have survived them and are stronger. Sadly, sometimes people end up with the wrong person and need to end the marriage. But even for those of us who were lucky enough to have picked a great life partner, there are still times you look at the person and think, Now where in the heck did YOU come from??? and you really have to think about it and persevere. It is surely not all moonlight and roses...but so worth it in the end. I am really glad you guys are still so tight.

Yes, luck is definitely a part of it in choosing the right guy... you''re dead on in everything you said LOL

By the way, what does your screen name mean? (forgive me if you answered elsewhere!)

When I was like a freshman in high school I was tired of "Sara" so I started spelling it Cehra. It only lasted like 3 months, but years and years later when I was going to make a sn for various internet things, I made it "cehrabehra" (the behra is from sara bare or sara bear - my nickname as a child). If you run across a cehrabehra anywhere, that''s likely me! LOL It''s easy for me to remember if I use the same one over again LOL

 

[mia15]

Date: 7/18/2006 2:41:18 AM
Author: Cehrabehra

Date: 7/18/2006 2:32:39 AM

We are... even in the darkest times of marriage (like at years 6- I never fell out of love. Sometimes I wanted to leave him and sometimes I felt like I didn''t love him, but I was always still in love. Hard to explain... I remember it even getting to a fragile hair and in the end it never wavered. Learning to be together for the long haul can be tough... but once you realize marriage is a true roller coaster with wonderous highs and terrible lows, you get stronger and are able to weather the valleys much more smoothly as time goes by. The highs are not that constant high of new love, but it is incredibly solid and secure, trust isn''t an issue. And the moments still come that skyrocket you up to those same feelings you had when you fell in love, they just don''t last as long because there is garbage to take out and bills to pay and kids to feed and all of the other mundane stuff that makes a partnership. It''s pretty cool. I made a wise choice and am lucky to love him every bit as much as he loves me.

I love what you''ve said here! This thread is heartwarming. I''m about to get married and this is something great to keep in mind.

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 7/19/2006 3:17:30 AM
Author: emeraldlover

Date: 7/18/2006 2:41:18 AM
Author: Cehrabehra

Date: 7/18/2006 2:32:39 AM

We are... even in the darkest times of marriage (like at years 6- I never fell out of love. Sometimes I wanted to leave him and sometimes I felt like I didn''t love him, but I was always still in love. Hard to explain... I remember it even getting to a fragile hair and in the end it never wavered. Learning to be together for the long haul can be tough... but once you realize marriage is a true roller coaster with wonderous highs and terrible lows, you get stronger and are able to weather the valleys much more smoothly as time goes by. The highs are not that constant high of new love, but it is incredibly solid and secure, trust isn''t an issue. And the moments still come that skyrocket you up to those same feelings you had when you fell in love, they just don''t last as long because there is garbage to take out and bills to pay and kids to feed and all of the other mundane stuff that makes a partnership. It''s pretty cool. I made a wise choice and am lucky to love him every bit as much as he loves me.

I love what you''ve said here! This thread is heartwarming. I''m about to get married and this is something great to keep in mind.

It warms my heart to re-read it... I should have him read it too... Men are such oafs sometimes LOL! Don''t forget that! Best of luck to you both! Learning to be direct has helped me a lot LOL

 

[mia15]

Thank you so much. Both you and Diamondfan are inspirational!