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... My step sister is using our baby name?

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atroop711

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at first I was going to gell you the no one owns a name..since I thought it was just the same first name...but now I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND why you''re upset..it''s the entire name... and it''s not like it''s a common combination.

She sucks
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Miranda

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Date: 7/24/2009 11:34:53 AM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 7/24/2009 10:51:06 AM
Author: mrssalvo


Date: 7/24/2009 8:58:56 AM
Author: Tacori E-ring
I''d use it anyways!

exactly what I was thinking!
Yup me too. Tell her, ''I''m glad you love the name I told you about! Because now BOTH our kids will share the exact same name, isn''t that cool?'' See how she likes that!
Ditto for me, too! I''d do exactly what Tgal said and I''d be sure to let everyone know I told her it was my kid to be''s name first. Mature? Probably not. But, I think that''s ok sometimes. Fight a little fire with fire. Honestly, I''d be willing to bet she won''t pick your name in the end.
 

Ellen

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Date: 7/24/2009 8:53:53 AM
Author: thing2of2
I don''t think you''re being childish at all. That''s seriously RIDICULOUS that she is naming her child all three names! Wow. I am really blown away that someone would do something like that! And they''re YOUR family names!

This is a very good lesson in keeping baby names to yourself, though. But I''m sorry you had to learn it the hard way! I would still name a future son your original name, though. Don''t let her spoil that special name for you. And if she makes any comments about it, I would say something like ''Well since that''s the name I had been planning on for years before I stupidly told you and you stole it, I decided to stick with it.''
Big ditto.

And I agree, name your child what you wanted. If she says anything, I''ll let you figure out what to say. I can''t ditto Miss Thing on what she posted to say, I''m just not that, bold.
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brooklyngirl

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That would be quite upsetting, just on principle -- she''s behaving thoughtlessly at best, and spiteful at worst. I''m not sure why she feels the need to name her child after your father (as she''s admitted) when he hasn''t raised her
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If I were in your shoes, I''d use the name anyway. The name has sentimental value to you, but for her, it arose out of spite. I''d feel sorry for her if I were you.
 

DearBuddha

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I think this situation could be upsetting if it''s a name you really, really coveted (in which case why would you tell people?). If a pregnant woman was wavering on baby names, I certainly wouldn''t share my choices, but that''s just me; I''m territorial
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However, I think ultimately you''ll be fine even if she does steal your proposed baby name. It sounds like you have a talent for choosing name combinations, so I''m sure you''ll think of something just as fitting and personal!
 

HollyS

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Yeah. She''s a b*****. There''s no point in thinking she isn''t, ''cuz she is. She did deliberately choose to hurt you. I wouldn''t let her think for one moment that she had actually succeeded. Hold your head up, show nothing but grace. People finally get tired of trying so hard to provoke you, if you don''t react.

I do agree with other posters about your tastes changing, how you might not have a son, etc. By the time your child comes along, this will be water under the bridge.

But, I would keep my fondest dreams and heart''s desires between myself and my FI. It''s hard for people to steal them from you if you don''t share.
 

tlh

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Sounds like there are some unresolved issues with this
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stepsister.
I would call her and congratulate her on deciding on the baby's name. Don't be mean or spiteful... just say, when I shared those names with you, I had no idea that you'd end up using the name in its entirety. I feel so honored that you like my choices that much that it trumped all your other choices, even for middles names... And then like the PPs said, advise you still fully intend on using that name, and how COOL you think it will be to have two children with IDENTICAL NAMES!

Just seems like an odd thing for her to do. I know people are territorial over baby names (i'm one of them and not planning on it for some time!) but it is different having her name the baby... "Lindsey" or 'Hunter" or "Thomas" in a different order... but to combine them in the exact order you provided (and with the unique family history in those choices...).. just really seems like there is something else going on with your step sister.

But... I'm with you... THAT SERIOUSLY SUCKS!
 

Lilac

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I could understand if she chose one of the 3 names in that combination - then I would think you shouldn''t be upset because she has the right to use whatever name she wants. But the fact that she chose all 3 in the same combination you told her about is what shows she is doing this on purpose and she knows she probably will hurt you. I would be upset. And I would do what TGal said (tell her it''s great your kids will have identical names) and still use the name if you and FI still like it when the time comes for you to have kids.
 

VRBeauty

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I have no idea whether your step sis is clueless, shameless, woefully unimaginative, spiteful, or a scheming gold digger, but I agree that the best approach is to continue with your current dreams and plans for that kiddie-to-be. I wouldn't talk to her about it, however, in the event she's looking forward to rubbing your nose in the fact that there's nothing you can do about it. Just mention it to other family members whenever you get the chance: "Katty and Bubba have decided to use same names we're planning to give our son, so one of these days (hopefully) we'll have two Hunter Lindsey Thomases running around! Won't that be fun??? Yeah, it seems a dear great grandmother's uncle on her step-father's side was also named Lindsey! What are the odds!..." Your family will have fun with that one
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, and I'm willing to bet that when the time comes, your son will be the only boy in the family named Hunter Lindsey Thomas!

BTW, I looooove that combination! Would you mind if....
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tlh

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Date: 7/24/2009 2:28:55 PM
Author: VRBeauty
I have no idea whether your step sis is clueless, shameless, woefully unimaginative, spiteful, or a scheming gold digger, but I agree that the best approach is to continue with your current dreams and plans for that kiddie-to-be. I wouldn''t talk to her about it, however, in the event she''s looking forward to rubbing your nose in the fact that there''s nothing you can do about it. Just mention it to other family members whenever you get the chance: ''Katty and Bubba have decided to use same names we''re planning to give our son, so one of these days (hopefully) we''ll have two Hunter Lindsey Thomases running around! Won''t that be fun??? Yeah, it seems a dear great grandmother''s uncle on her step-father''s side was also named Lindsey! What are the odds!...'' Your family will have fun with that one
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, and I''m willing to bet that when the time comes, your son will be the only boy in the family named Hunter Lindsey Thomas!

BTW, I looooove that combination! Would you mind if....
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lol!
 

packrat

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When I saw the thread title, I thought, oh this is what we were talking about in the other thread..and then I clicked in and read and thought, ohh this is NOT what we were talking about! All 3 names?? Gah that is so ridiculous! When you guys have kids, if you still like the name, I echo the others in using it! I like that the 2 middle names honor your family members especially. You could always keep the 2 middle names and do a different first name, as someone else mentioned.

It amazes me how low people go, to upstage family!

Slight threadjack, but a similar one: Shortly after I got pg w/our first, Mom and I were at my aunt''s house, and my aunt fawned over me, and her eldest daughter was jealous-this aunt never had 2 nice words to say to me up until I got pg, and then she was super nice and sweet. I told mom, JD and my grandparents, my cousin is jealous of the attention I''m getting and I guarantee she''ll be pg w/in 6 months. Her first is 3 months younger than ours, so I was close!! And my aunt barely said a nice word to me after her daughter got pg. When London was not quite 1, at a gathering, I asked my cousin if they were having any more kids-she said absolutely not, too much work blah blah. She asked me, I said yes, hopefully soon. However, she didn''t know that later, after talking about it, we decided to wait a while...and then my cousin ended up pg again..and they all expected a big announcement from us..and it didn''t come. And, neener neener, not only did we have the first grandchild, we had the first grandson, so while they''re having kids to try and compete with us, we went about our business and "won" their imaginary competitions. Pbbbt.
 

icekid

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Um, yeah! I would be PISSED, too. This is why we''ll be keeping all potential names very quiet
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People are way too bizarre.

Do you like the new wife? (maybe they''ll get a divorce by the time you are ready for kids hehe, juuust kidding!)
 

Dandi

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Date: 7/24/2009 4:45:32 PM
Author: packrat
When I saw the thread title, I thought, oh this is what we were talking about in the other thread..and then I clicked in and read and thought, ohh this is NOT what we were talking about! All 3 names?? Gah that is so ridiculous! When you guys have kids, if you still like the name, I echo the others in using it! I like that the 2 middle names honor your family members especially. You could always keep the 2 middle names and do a different first name, as someone else mentioned.

It amazes me how low people go, to upstage family!

Slight threadjack, but a similar one: Shortly after I got pg w/our first, Mom and I were at my aunt''s house, and my aunt fawned over me, and her eldest daughter was jealous-this aunt never had 2 nice words to say to me up until I got pg, and then she was super nice and sweet. I told mom, JD and my grandparents, my cousin is jealous of the attention I''m getting and I guarantee she''ll be pg w/in 6 months. Her first is 3 months younger than ours, so I was close!! And my aunt barely said a nice word to me after her daughter got pg. When London was not quite 1, at a gathering, I asked my cousin if they were having any more kids-she said absolutely not, too much work blah blah. She asked me, I said yes, hopefully soon. However, she didn''t know that later, after talking about it, we decided to wait a while...and then my cousin ended up pg again..and they all expected a big announcement from us..and it didn''t come. And, neener neener, not only did we have the first grandchild, we had the first grandson, so while they''re having kids to try and compete with us, we went about our business and ''won'' their imaginary competitions. Pbbbt.

It astounds me that people like that seem to have children at a time that ''beats the competition'' rather than at a time that they decide is right, or they feel ready, etc etc... I''ve seen it happen, too!


It blows my tiny mind
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Dannielle

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This thread made me feel so much better
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Thank you all..

icekid- My Dad and stepmum have a very weird relationship. She is constantly getting angry at him and they get to the point where they are breaking up, but as soon as he goes to leave she throws herself on the car crying
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He has said he is divorcing her twice and they have only been married 3 months.. so we will see how long I actually have a stepsister for..
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LaraOnline

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I think it''s very mean and selfish of her to use your baby name. It is obvious that she has decided that you won''t be using that name for some time, and so has reached the imperialistic conclusion that it is likely you would have moved on to another name by the time the actual moment came.

Hm, not very nice of her! If you challenge her over it (eek! How embarrassing) she is likely to say she thought you were making suggestions for her own baby''s name.
Yet if this was the case, why didn''t she tell you directly that she LOVED your name and was planning on using it?!

Baby names for as yet unborn children are special secrets, I think. You confided in her, and she wasn''t worthy of the confidence. You''ll find another one eventually. Cow.
 

I Love My Sailor

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Yea That would irritate me a little, almost like she is doing it on purpose and I''m sure she knew you would be upset... but don''t let her get to you too much!
 

Brown.Eyed.Girl

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Date: 7/24/2009 11:34:53 AM
Author: TravelingGal
Date: 7/24/2009 10:51:06 AM

Author: mrssalvo


Date: 7/24/2009 8:58:56 AM

Author: Tacori E-ring

I''d use it anyways!


exactly what I was thinking!
Yup me too. Tell her, ''I''m glad you love the name I told you about! Because now BOTH our kids will share the exact same name, isn''t that cool?'' See how she likes that!

Love this. I totally think you should tell her that! She''ll change her tune quickly
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I agree with most though - it''s not about "calling" a name, but about the fact that she took the entire thing, in the exact same order
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What a....not so nice (ahem, censored) thing to do.
 

diamondseeker2006

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The part that is so bizzare is that she is using family names that are not from HER or her husband''s families! I almost wonder if she is bluffing to try to upset you. But I would be tempted to do as the others have suggested and say how fun it will be to have two boys with the same names! Ha!

But you can always use the family names in another combination regardless. I love Lindsey for a girl''s name, too.
 

plantationcatt

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LaraOnline: "You confided in her, and she wasn''t worthy of the confidence."

I think that about sums it up. That is super frustrating, and I vote for using the family names! We''re telling everyone we have no idea what we''re naming our kids, even though we have quite a few options in the stockpile. No lie we have at least 25 people named Charles in our families, with 8 of them still living. I love the name Charles, but I think 8 is confusing enough for us. But heck, if we REALLY wanted to use Charles, we could.
 

junebug17

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I don''t think you are being childish, you have every right to be uspet, I would be absolutely livid. You must have almost fainted when you heard she was using the EXACT names in the exact order, and your family names to boot. I can''t believe someone would do this, I would be so tempted to confront her on this. What could she be thinking? Is she mentally unstable or something? I''m sorry, but I just think this is wrong. I guess I''m naive, I would never have thought it neccessary to keep a baby name a secret. I hope that when the time comes, you stick with the names you have chosen for your baby.
 

Courtneylub

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I would be upset and you are NOT being childish one bit. If anything, you''re being pretty darn mature about the whole thing!! She took the entire name! You won''t find that name in a baby book! I would still use it when you have a son and if anyone (especially step sister) asks why, you can explain how you came up with the name in the first place. With a nice smile of course.
 

janinegirly

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I''d be flabbergasted, like you said--same first name would be a bummer, but not something you can make a big deal about since you''re not pg yet, but all 3 names?? How is your relationship with your step sister otherwise? Are you sure they aren''t all joking around? If not it seems intentional b/c it''s extremely hard to believe she just happened to come up with these 3 names, and certainly the "lindsey" part makes zero sense. I''m not going to make "Robert" my daugheter''s middle name b/c I always liked that name!

I tend to confront issues, so if it was me, I''d maybe have a convo with her to see if you can sort out her motivation here. Maybe not accusing her, but say, hey, remember when we discussed names and I mentioned our full name...what''s up with that?
 

somethingshiny

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It''s happened to me again. My SIL and bro have known for years now that we''ve been TTC. I told SIL the names we had picked out many moons ago. Today, I find out that BOTH of the names (boy and girl) are now going to be the names that they use (of course depending on gender) for their current pregnancy
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D&T

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Date: 7/24/2009 12:00:24 PM
Author: atroop711
at first I was going to gell you the no one owns a name..since I thought it was just the same first name...but now I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND why you''re upset..it''s the entire name... and it''s not like it''s a common combination.

She sucks
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ditto-

I''d be pretty flippin upset
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gwendolyn

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Date: 7/25/2009 5:56:47 AM
Author: Dannielle
This thread made me feel so much better
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Thank you all..


icekid- My Dad and stepmum have a very weird relationship. She is constantly getting angry at him and they get to the point where they are breaking up, but as soon as he goes to leave she throws herself on the car crying
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He has said he is divorcing her twice and they have only been married 3 months.. so we will see how long I actually have a stepsister for..
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Hang on. So this stepsister is using all three of the names you picked out that are not only from a family that isn't hers, but from a family that she's been connected to through marriage for only 3 months?!
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This just gets stranger and stranger...

Yeah, absolutely, do your own thing, name your kids what you want to name them, and by all means, please don't get caught up in whatever silly web this stepsister of yours is trying to entangle you in. Stay far, far away.
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