... My step sister is using our baby name?

[Dannielle]

This is really silly and pointless considering FI and I are not planning on having a baby for atleast another 5 years but it is still bothering me..

My step sister is 6 months pregnant and a few weeks ago at a family bbq I asked her if she had any ideas for a baby name.. she said that her and her DH had a few ideas but were keeping them under wraps. She then asked me what names FI and I liked and I (silly me) told her.

Well, I got a call from my Dad yesterday and he mentioned that they had picked out a name for their baby.. OUR BABY NAME! It isn''t just a first name though, it is the full name.. Hunter Lindsey Thomas Lastname.

The middle name is FI''s grandfathers name and the third name is my Dads name.. I told her that is why we picked the name and at the time she didn''t even say "Oh, I love that name".. she actually turned her nose up

Frustrating!

 

[Camille]

Please don''t be frustrated, your sister probably knows your good taste, I''d express hapiness, bc good vibes always comeback. If you both would have been preggers simultaneously, it would be another story. .02

 

[Sha]

That's just wrong. I would be pissed.

She could've at least asked if that was a name you were considering for your future baby, or at least ask permission to use it. But to go behind your back and do that....

And it's not like she's some distant cousin either... she's your stepsister! So that practically rules out having another Hunter within your close family, whether now or in 5 years time. I think that's really low of her...

 

[Dannielle]

Well, Dad knew that was "our name" and she had told him and my step mother that the name they had selected for a boy was Lachlan.. it wasn''t until I shared our name that it was announced that Hunter Lindsey Thomas was going to be their sons name.

My Dad asked her how she came up with the name and she said that her husbands great great grandfathers name was Hunter, she always wanted a daughter called Lindsey and because this will be their last child she is going to use it as her sons middle name and Thomas after my father.. he has been married to her mother for 3 months..

I feel so silly for sharing.. I wouldn''t of cared if she just used the first name because it is just a name.. but also taking our families names..??? Who does that.. and who makes up elaborate stories about how they came up with the name? Just be honest and admitt you pinched it?

 

[OUpearlgirl]

I would be upset too.. I can''t believe someone would do that!!

Just a little story, I''m hoping to make you feel better.

Apparently my mom and her 3 siblings all LOVED the name Margaret. I think each of them wanted to name a child Margaret, but no one as bad as my mom and her younger brother. Welp, I was born and Momma named me Margaret. Her younger brother was SO ANGRY. He yelled at my mom and whined to his other siblings.

He ended up having 2 boys. He never would have used the name!

I''m so sorry and I completely understand why you are upset! But, think of it this way... You don''t plan on having a child for 5 years. Your tastes could change! You may have all girls! Try not to let this upset you too much, ok?

 

[Dannielle]

Date: 7/24/2009 2:04:08 AM
Author: OUpeargirl
I would be upset too.. I can''t believe someone would do that!!

Just a little story, I''m hoping to make you feel better.

Apparently my mom and her 3 siblings all LOVED the name Margaret. I think each of them wanted to name a child Margaret, but no one as bad as my mom and her younger brother. Welp, I was born and Momma named me Margaret. Her younger brother was SO ANGRY. He yelled at my mom and whined to his other siblings.

He ended up having 2 boys. He never would have used the name!

I''m so sorry and I completely understand why you are upset! But, think of it this way... You don''t plan on having a child for 5 years. Your tastes could change! You may have all girls! Try not to let this upset you too much, ok?

You are right.. I know, who knows if we will even be blessed with children at all.. its just the sneakiness and lies that really bothers me.

That being said I don''t even know if they know the sex of the baby yet.. i''m guessing they would considering they are saying this is the name but they haven''t really announced they are having a boy.

 

[steph72276]

That''s just tacky! Hopefully she will have a girl or realize that was the wrong thing to do and change at least the family names. I would talk to her and ask her why she is using your exact names you had just told her you planned on using and see what she says. Maybe you can convince her how much it means to you and she will change it?

 

[vespergirl]

Sorry, but I think the OP is being childish. If you were currently pregnant and had declared that is the name you were using, then your step-sister''s choice would be in bad taste. Since you are not pregnant, nor are you even trying to get pregnant right now, you can''t "call" a baby name, IMO, unless it''s a completely invented name that no one''s heard of before (e.g. can''t be found in a baby name book). Because the fact of the matter is, maybe you''ll wait years and years to have a child, maybe you''ll decide not to have any at all, or if you do, maybe you''ll only have girls. A lot can change in 5 years. Your step-sister, however, is pregnant today, so now is her time to choose a name.

I do understand that her decision is upsetting to you, but when you have a child, then you can name it whatever you want - I hear the name Hunter quite a bit, and it''s a lovely name, so if you choose to use it when you eventually have a child, there''s no law saying there can''t be two Hunters in the same family. In my friend''s family, there are 3 Williams - her husband, her son, and her father in law. They just use different variations of the name when they''re all together.

 

[Dandi]

Sorry this happened Dannielle, you obviously put alot of thought into that name. No reason why there can't be two Hunters in the family though!!

When MIL was pregnant with DH, her cousin was also pregnant, and they were due only one week apart. They had both decided on the EXACT same first and middle names (I think MIL pinched it from her cousin, actually, but she'd never admit it

). It was a race to see who would be born first, because the first boy to be born got the name!

The baby born second had to have the 'runner up' name if it turned out to be a boy, which it did. Not that it would have mattered if they had the exact same name... their surnames were different and they rarely see each other!

DH was born 2 days earlier

Oh and Dannielle, just as a matter of interest... Hunter is MY FAVOURITE boy's name too!!

 

[steph72276]

Vesper, I agree about the first name. Believe me, now that I am pregnant, you wouldn''t believe how many family members are telling me a certain name is "off limits" because they might use it one day. I think that is ridiculous. But the fact that she used the family middle names is what I think is very low because she knew they had special meaning to Dannielle.

 

[makemepretty]

I''m glad you do realize it''s silly and moot since you''re not even pregnant I find it amusing when women try to call names. I know lots of James(my husbands names) and heck, even as a Laura there are two in my small town. There usually isn''t one "so and so" in any family if you go back far enough. My sister has chosen an unusual name for her baby but little did she know, I already have a 2nd niece with that same name.

All calling names does is stress out the mom to be. Being secretive is silly, being upset is silly. It''s JUST a name. When it''s something like this, it sometimes helps to put things in perspective. Baby names are supposed to be a fun thing, I know of two ladies who recently had their newborns pass away shortly after birth. Now that is something to be upset about concerning a baby.

So, that means you get to think of new names or you can wait till you''re pregnant to do that. There''s probably something out there even more perfect for your child to be.

 

[Dannielle]

Date: 7/24/2009 7:18:15 AM
Author: vespergirl
Sorry, but I think the OP is being childish. If you were currently pregnant and had declared that is the name you were using, then your step-sister''s choice would be in bad taste. Since you are not pregnant, nor are you even trying to get pregnant right now, you can''t ''call'' a baby name, IMO, unless it''s a completely invented name that no one''s heard of before (e.g. can''t be found in a baby name book). Because the fact of the matter is, maybe you''ll wait years and years to have a child, maybe you''ll decide not to have any at all, or if you do, maybe you''ll only have girls. A lot can change in 5 years. Your step-sister, however, is pregnant today, so now is her time to choose a name.

I do understand that her decision is upsetting to you, but when you have a child, then you can name it whatever you want - I hear the name Hunter quite a bit, and it''s a lovely name, so if you choose to use it when you eventually have a child, there''s no law saying there can''t be two Hunters in the same family. In my friend''s family, there are 3 Williams - her husband, her son, and her father in law. They just use different variations of the name when they''re all together.

My issue is not with her naming her son Hunter.. as you said, I don''t have any claim to that name. What bothers me is that she is using all three names, two of which are our family names, and claiming that she made them up. I don''t think I am being childish- I am just posting to express some frustration. It might sound silly considering I am no where near pregnant, but FI and I talk about having children very often, and this name was very important to both of us especially as Lindsey and Thomas are names that have been passed down through countless generations.

Thanks for all the kind words ladies- this will teach me for opening up my big mouth!

 

[Lorelei]

Dani, if you want to use Hunter when you have your own son then go ahead! My first name is unusual and I was in fact given the same name as a first cousin who was born a few months before me, it wasn''t ever a problem growing up so go ahead and use it if you want.

 

[zoebartlett]

I wouldn''t let it bother you. As you said, you''re a few years away from having kids anyway. It is a bit odd that she chose to use the exact names in the exact order that you like though. If I was you and I still wanted to use those names when/if the time comes, I would.

 

[lucyandroger]

I''m sorry Dannielle. That was really low of your step-sister. I get what you''re saying - it''s not about the first name but the combo of names that has *special* meaning for your families. The good thing is there is time before your nephew is born so maybe there''s a chance she''ll change her mind. If I were you I might casually mention that the name she picked out is the exact name you told her and see what she says.

If you are lucky enough to get pregnant in a few years and end up having a boy, I would still use the name. It is still special to you.

 

[Dannielle]

Thanks Lorelie, Zoe and Lucy.

After having some time to mull over it i''m really feeling okay about it now. At first it was just a shock- and it felt like a bit of a kick in the guts. My stepfamily does everything they can to make my brothers and I feel like we are not part of their family and I suppose the main reason I even shared the name was because I was trying to bond with her..

Either way, a name is just a name.. and as nice as it would be to pass family names down it is not the end of the world

 

[LadyBlue]

Date: 7/24/2009 8:20:44 AM
Author: lucyandroger
I''m sorry Dannielle. That was really low of your step-sister. I get what you''re saying - it''s not about the first name but the combo of names that has *special* meaning for your families. The good thing is there is time before your nephew is born so maybe there''s a chance she''ll change her mind. If I were you I might casually mention that the name she picked out is the exact name you told her and see what she says.


If you are lucky enough to get pregnant in a few years and end up having a boy, I would still use the name. It is still special to you.

Ditto to this, In my extend family there is around 5 boys with the same name, my grandfathers name

.

 

[iheartscience]

I don''t think you''re being childish at all. That''s seriously RIDICULOUS that she is naming her child all three names! Wow. I am really blown away that someone would do something like that! And they''re YOUR family names!

This is a very good lesson in keeping baby names to yourself, though. But I''m sorry you had to learn it the hard way! I would still name a future son your original name, though. Don''t let her spoil that special name for you. And if she makes any comments about it, I would say something like "Well since that''s the name I had been planning on for years before I stupidly told you and you stole it, I decided to stick with it."

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I''d use it anyways!

 

[princesss]

I''m with Tacori. Use it. Your kids will have different last names, right? And all anybody will see is "Hunter TheirLastName" and "Hunter YourLastName." Seriously. If you love the name, keep it. At the very least, keep the "Lindsey Thomas" part. That''s special, and will always mean a lot to you and can be used with any first name.

 

[UCLABelle]

I would be upset; but that is me. You are sisters after all...and I have had the same family name we are hoping to use down the road (and everyone has known them since I was like 10)...so if my brother ended out using the exact name first, I would be beyond upset...but personally, I doubt he would do something like that to me (or his wife, for that matter).

 

[UCLABelle]

And why is she using the "Lindsey" part? That is your FI''s family name right? That is pretty unique for a boy (I think IMHO)...

 

[mrssalvo]

Date: 7/24/2009 8:58:56 AM
Author: Tacori E-ring
I''d use it anyways!

exactly what I was thinking!

 

[swingirl]

That's lousy! Same thing happened to my son's name except our nephew named their son several years after our son was born.

First of all, they might change their mind.

Secondly, you might change you mind or end up with all girls.

Third, lots of families use the same names. You picked a good name with tradition and sentiment behind it and should keep it. The last name is different so it'd still be unique to your son.

 

[somethingshiny]

Okay, I haven''t read all the responses. But, my first thought was that she was playing a little joke on you, especially after turning her nose up in the first place.

If she''s seriously naming her child the same, I understand. DH and I tried to conceive and carry for 6 years. Nearly every time one of my family members got pregnant they''d ask what names I was thinking. Of those (mostly cousins) no less than 5 of "my" names were used. Some with the same middle, some just the first. Yes, I was very annoyed, we had been TRYING to have those babies, ya know? But, soon it became a joke. I just name everyone''s child.

I guess I pick out good names. And, so do you!

 

[Dannielle]

Date: 7/24/2009 10:39:25 AM
Author: UCLABelle
And why is she using the ''Lindsey'' part? That is your FI''s family name right? That is pretty unique for a boy (I think IMHO)...

I know??? It boggles my mind...

FI and I were talking about it earlier after I told him I made a thread about it and FI thinks she might just be saying that she is going to use it to get a reaction out of me, to see if I see anything and try and make me look like the bad guy.. it is a sport in that family

So, I am not going to say anything.. and if she does name her son that I will be the first to say "Thats a gorgeous name"

 

[E B]

You should definitely still use them. Family names can be used by multiple family members- in my family, my grandfather''s and grandmother''s names have been used for two grandchildren''s middle names. If you want to ''mix it up,'' just use them in a different way (as first names, or paired with a family name from the other side of your family).

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 7/24/2009 10:51:06 AM
Author: mrssalvo

Date: 7/24/2009 8:58:56 AM
Author: Tacori E-ring
I''d use it anyways!

exactly what I was thinking!

Yup me too. Tell her, "I''m glad you love the name I told you about! Because now BOTH our kids will share the exact same name, isn''t that cool?" See how she likes that!

 

[Dannielle]

Date: 7/24/2009 11:29:01 AM
Author: EBree
You should definitely still use them. Family names can be used by multiple family members- in my family, my grandfather''s and grandmother''s names have been used for two grandchildren''s middle names. If you want to ''mix it up,'' just use them in a different way (as first names, or paired with a family name from the other side of your family).

If we were an actual family I wouldn''t mind- her Mother married my Father 3 months ago after a little over a year of dating. All the kids are grown up- my step sister is in her 30''s and has her own family.. so why is she using my dads and my FI''s family names.

Its nuts

 

[PinkTower]

I could fully understand if she was using family names from their own family. The baffling part is why she is using names from a family she is not related to. Just take it as a compliment;you have good taste.
I did find,having my children when I was older, that all the good family names were taken well ahead of time. That is something to be expected.