My Proposal Idea

[MeddlingKids]

My girlfriend is very good at figuring out surprises. As such, I''m nearly certain she thinks a proposal is coming this weekend; she''s right. Here''s what I''m planning on doing:

I''m going to invite her to come up to see me after she gets off work. She''ll probably get here around 5 or 6, at which point I will take her to the beach we always go to. Last week, she and I were dicussing proposals on the beach, and how we thought it would be nice if it were a place that''s significant to the relationship. This particular beach is. So, once she sees where we''re going, she''s going to assume it''s happening at the beach. We''ll walk around, talk, have fun like we always do, but we''ll leave the beach without a proposal.

After the beach, I''m going to take her to a very romantic restaurant we''ve gone to in the past. At this point she''s going to be thinking, "Okay, he''s going to propose here." But, I won''t......yet. I will, however, order a desert specially recommended by our waiter "which we just HAVE to try." Since the desert will be mainly composed of chocolate, she''ll be happy to try it. At this point, the waiter will bring out a chocolate shell with some berries on the side, nicely presented. However, under the shell is going to be the engagement ring.

Now, this last part is where I''m still a bit undecided. Do I have her eat it at the restaurant and propose inside? I sorta want to do it in private. Do I take the desert to go and have her start eating it at my apartment? I guess the last option would add to that "What the heck! I thought he was going to propose!" factor a bit. But, of course, if I try to make a romantic setting at the apartment, she''s going to know right when she sees it, where I would rather her realize it once she actually sees the ring.

Your thoughts, as always, are greatly appreciated.

 

[DignDive]

Understand that I have a few biases so take whatever I say with a grain of salt...or just use the bits you want and chuck the rest.

so..

1) For the longest time I thought public proposals were the niftiest things since sliced bread that is, until I saw one in ice skating rink at Rockefeller center. The girl said yes, but in my head I couldn''t grasp the idea of inviting 1,000 people I didn''t know to share in a once in a lifetime event. I''m not a private guy by any means, but if I was going to invite people to that event, it would be people that were close to us not a bunch of strangers looking to ogle at yet another NYC show.

2) Good show on the beach and the restaurant... I''m a big fan in incorporating places that have some measure of "first time"-ness. It brings the relation full circle from where the first chapter started to moving on to the next big sequel

Now as for the details...I''m just thinking out loud here so take away what you want and discard the rest.
- the only problem I can see with the shell is that you have to find some way to lift it (you or her) and present the box hiding underneath.
- at that point you smile, take the box, say a few memorable things, then drop to a knee and ask her the question
- if the restaurant has an outside terrace, I''d go for that, less people to invite to your special event and just nicer all around

Take out
- Waiter presents the dessert
- you say, you know, it''s such a beautiful night outside, let''s take that to go and enjoy it outside. Don''t give her a chance to object, make sure the check is paid before that point and immediately tell the waiter to pack it up.
- find a secluded spot to watch the water, and pull out the cake and maybe a bottle of your favorite red (shiraz goes nicely with Chocolate, or a sauv blanc if your chocolate is a mousse)
- now you can propose in private and spend all the time you want doing it

- having the dessert at the apartment never crossed my mind as an option but it''s always a fall back plan if you need one. I''ve a read a few stories where the DH''s excused themselves from the table for 10-15 minutes, ran to the room, prepped it up, then came back and continued on with the night.

Whatever you do, it''s going to be fantastic, now it''s just a matter of figuring out the details to make everything perfect best of luck and remember to take pictures!

 

[MeddlingKids]

Thank you for the recommendations. Yes, creating the chocolate will actually be somewhat of a challenge. I will have to find somebody to make it. Ooh, what I could do is have the desert put into a separate box, and have the ring in another. The waiter could tell us that the desert has a mouse that needs to be combined when eating, thus TWO boxes. Or, we could maybe have desert waiting at my place (with a romantic setting created) and just have the waiter give us one box that''s supposed to be desert inside, and take it outside to the terrace?

What do you think?

 

[MeddlingKids]

I''ve been thinking. Is this idea a little too cliche? Proposing at a restaurant with the ring hidden in food?

 

[neatfreak]

If you want my honest opinion, yes it is very cliche. AND she will totally be expecting it if you tell her to "get this great dessert that the waiter recommended" unless you often do things like that...which most people don''t.

A better idea (and far more evil if you''re anything like my boyfriend and like to tease about it) is to take her out, do the whole thing (beach,restaurant, "special dessert"), and then don''t propose until you get home. Maybe you could even have a friend sneak in before you get back and decorate and leave a dessert/roses, candles, etc? That is way more personal and romantic. At that point she will be past expectation and be really surprised. But it''s also not very nice... amusing, but not nice...so take it with a grain of salt if she''s really sensitive and maybe do it in private after dinner or at the beach.


Unless you KNOW she wants a public proposal, don''t do it in public.


Whatever you decide to do...BEST OF LUCK!!!

 

[DignDive]

Personally, the ring, hell even the box it's in, is surprise enough. I'm not sure I see the entertainment or surprise value in hiding it in the chocolate unless that has some particular meaning to you and yours. Simple always works better, and by this point you'll have already built up so much (good) tension, that she'll be happy in whatever way you want to present it.

Think of it a different way...

What story do you want HER to tell her friends and family? What details do you want HER to remember...and work towards that as a goal.

As for the restaurant being a cliche...personally, I wouldn't do it for the reasons I mentioned, but it's still a great idea simply because you have history in that restaurant and at the end of the day, that's more than enough.

Of the additional options you mentioned, I like the idea of the waiter handing you a box as you leave or to conclude your dinner (something very 007'ish about it)...perhaps pair it with a comment like,

"a special from the head chef as you requested sir."
"our owner was astounded at what a beautiful couple you were and would like to give you this small token." You look inside, and then say, "Hmmm, let's go outside and take a look at this." At that point, her curiousity will be driving her crazy and it'll be like Christmas all over again.

Again just some out loud thinking

ETA: hmmm come to think of it, I'm not sure how I feel about handing over an $8k ring to a waiter that makes $10 an hour...

Pretty partial to a private proposal on a terrace away from everyone, or in the privacy of your room.

 

[MeddlingKids]

That''s a good suggestion. The restaurant has a walkway where we can walk down to the ocean. I just don''t want her to think I went for the same proposal everybody else has done before. But, like you said, I''m building up tension beforehand and she''ll be excited as heck when she hears the question, regardless of the setting.

 

[zoebartlett]

Date: 3/14/2007 3:15:33 PM
Author: neatfreak
If you want my honest opinion, yes it is very cliche. AND she will totally be expecting it if you tell her to ''get this great dessert that the waiter recommended'' unless you often do things like that...which most people don''t.

A better idea (and far more evil if you''re anything like my boyfriend and like to tease about it) is to take her out, do the whole thing (beach,restaurant, ''special dessert''), and then don''t propose until you get home. Maybe you could even have a friend sneak in before you get back and decorate and leave a dessert/roses, candles, etc? That is way more personal and romantic. At that point she will be past expectation and be really surprised. But it''s also not very nice... amusing, but not nice...so take it with a grain of salt if she''s really sensitive and maybe do it in private after dinner or at the beach.


Unless you KNOW she wants a public proposal, don''t do it in public.


Whatever you decide to do...BEST OF LUCK!!!

I love this idea! If it were me, I''d be shocked (in a good way) to hear that my boyfriend included a friend or family member to set the scene. The proposal would still be in private, which is what I''d personally prefer, but having someone come in and create a romantic scene would be somewhat different. Honestly though I don''t think you could go wrong. Best wishes!

 

[MeddlingKids]

Date: 3/14/2007 4:51:10 PM
Author: zoebartlett

Date: 3/14/2007 3:15:33 PM
Author: neatfreak
If you want my honest opinion, yes it is very cliche. AND she will totally be expecting it if you tell her to ''get this great dessert that the waiter recommended'' unless you often do things like that...which most people don''t.

A better idea (and far more evil if you''re anything like my boyfriend and like to tease about it) is to take her out, do the whole thing (beach,restaurant, ''special dessert''), and then don''t propose until you get home. Maybe you could even have a friend sneak in before you get back and decorate and leave a dessert/roses, candles, etc? That is way more personal and romantic. At that point she will be past expectation and be really surprised. But it''s also not very nice... amusing, but not nice...so take it with a grain of salt if she''s really sensitive and maybe do it in private after dinner or at the beach.


Unless you KNOW she wants a public proposal, don''t do it in public.


Whatever you decide to do...BEST OF LUCK!!!

I love this idea! If it were me, I''d be shocked (in a good way) to hear that my boyfriend included a friend or family member to set the scene. The proposal would still be in private, which is what I''d personally prefer, but having someone come in and create a romantic scene would be somewhat different. Honestly though I don''t think you could go wrong. Best wishes!

I like this idea too. I''ll talk to my roommate to see if he could help me out. Rose petals and candles?

 

[neatfreak]

Yes. If she is a sucker for "romance" she will LOVE rose petals and candles. If not try and think of something else quirky to have on hand for her...and maybe a favorite wine or dessert too.

You''ll be just fine, and she is going to love it no matter what you do because you are being thoughtful about it and planning something special for her...GOOD LUCK!