My moment of bravery, what's yours?

[LLJsmom]

Going on trips alone is scary but can be so liberating! Very proud of you for taking that step!!

Mine was divorcing my ex husband. I knew he'd never divorce me but would continue to treat me horribly for the rest of our lives. One night I just realized I could have a better life without him so I made the decision to jump. It was so difficult but I knew it needed to be done. So glad I did too. I am who I was always supposed to be now.

Athena, bravo for taking that step and taking charge. I admire you greatly. I am so happy for you that you are in a much better place than settling for unhappiness. Congratulations.

 

[LLJsmom]

Good for you Stephanie and thank you for sharing!!!

My "moment of bravery" will seem silly to everyone but honestly for me it was bravery. It was accepting my dh's marriage proposal because I so did NOT want to get married but I knew he wouldn't wait around much longer (as we had been dating 4 years and were not babies anymore). So I took a huge (for me) leap of faith and it was truly the best decision I ever made. I was terrified. Of course I insisted on a long engagement so by the time the wedding date rolled around I was more than ready. But at that moment when he proposed every fiber of my being was terrified and did not want to accept. Mainly because I hate change and it took me well out of my comfort zone.

So perhaps not the answer you were looking for but this was my "moment of bravery".

Looking forward to hearing from others their moments of bravery.

Missy, that was a big huge step for you. I am so happy that you stepped off the ledge. It's like in Indiana Jones and the last Crusade, when Indy steps off that ledge and discovers that there was a path there all along. I am so happy for you and DH. You both were meant to be.

 

[LLJsmom]

I would be daunted catching that same train to be honest!! And geez that's a hard question - because what some people may call bravery on my behalf could very well be labeled as stupidity by others
Wrangling venomous snakes out of my old pub backyard? Having a tug of war with a fish the size of a small car? Navigating through seas that are dumping gallons of water into the boat each minute? Rescuing people that have sunk their boat and risking my own safety to save them?

Brave or stupid, you decide!

Jordy, lol!! Can it be both? There are times when you seize the moment, and life rewards you. And times when you act on instinct and you save lives, though you risk your own. Brace, stupid, selfless, all can exist I believe. It's all good. That is what makes our lives rich.

I have one brave/stupid moment. I had signed up for an 8 mile spartan race that I did not properly train for. I could do the run portion but some of the obstacles were just beyond me. Dragging a 100 pound cement block up a hill? Climbing over. 15 feet wall? Don't know what I was thinking. But craziest for me given I was vertically challenged was wading through the disgusting muck filled pond that at certain points were deeper than I was tall. It was just dumb luck that I didn't drown. Ok, this is actually sounding more stupid. But I wanted to just not analyze and just take a risk doing this spartan race, without overthinking it. Cause I know if I did I would never do it. So definitely emotionally brave and intellectually stupid for me.

 

[LLJsmom]

Brave moment for me was when I tried to qualify for the Boston marathon. The hard part for me was to be willing to try my absolute hardest, train 16 weeks, run the hardest race I could, balls out, and then to know that I still may not make it. One of my biggest fears is failure so often I don't want to give something my all. But for this one race, I decided I had too. I had run three marathons already and I wanted Boston. I had trained and was uninjured. So I went for it, didn't hold back, and I made my qualifying time with 1:59 to spare. It was my fastest marathon yet. 3:43:01. I needed a 3:43:22. I don't know if I will ever have the fortitude or courage to try again, but i am glad I did it at least once.

 

[athenaworth]

Brave moment for me was when I tried to qualify for the Boston marathon. The hard part for me was to be willing to try my absolute hardest, train 16 weeks, run the hardest race I could, balls out, and then to know that I still may not make it. One of my biggest fears is failure so often I don't want to give something my all. But for this one race, I decided I had too. I had run three marathons already and I wanted Boston. I had trained and was uninjured. So I went for it, didn't hold back, and I made my qualifying time with 1:59 to spare. It was my fastest marathon yet. 3:43:01. I needed a 3:43:22. I don't know if I will ever have the fortitude or courage to try again, but i am glad I did it at least once.

WOW! That just qualifies you as a super hero in my book!

 

[chemgirl]

So interesting reading about everyone's brave moments!

Sort of dealing with mine now. I am very tall and thin. It makes me look awkward while doing anything athletic (a wonderful coworker describes me as Jack Skellington in shorts...great). So within the last year I decided screw it, I'm joining a gym, I'm (gasp) running outside, and I'm going to yoga with my friends. Everything was going pretty well up until yesterday. Sure I still look like I'm made of spaghetti, but I managed to convince myself that nobody is paying attention to me while they're struggling to balance.

Then yesterday I was half way through yoga with a new instructor and she came over to me and asked if I was ok. I said yes. She said she was just checking. Then she reminded me I could switch to child's pose at any time if I feel I'm struggling. All of a sudden I felt naked. Like wait a minute, I look so awkward that she had to come and single me out and let me know that quitting is an option. Wow, so is this what everyone is thinking right now? I kept on seeing myself on the mirror and thinking she's right. I ended up silent crying in the middle of yoga class. I tried to explain to the instructor privately after class that her intentions may have been good, but it was upsetting to be singled out in class. Ya so I was just shaking and didn't actually get it all out.

So where the bravery comes in, I emailed the studio and explained my views on how to frame comments and provide constructive advice. The owner emailed me back apologizing, but also standing by the instructor and saying she herself would have done the same thing. It actually took a lot for me to send that email. I also have 8 classes left on my pass and there's no way I'm not using them. I really would love to never do yoga outside of my house again, but what does that accomplish. I'm going to take a friend with me on Friday and awkward stretch my way through class.

I know it doesn't seem like a big deal, but it is to me.

 

[athenaworth]

So interesting reading about everyone's brave moments!

Sort of dealing with mine now. I am very tall and thin. It makes me look awkward while doing anything athletic (a wonderful coworker describes me as Jack Skellington in shorts...great). So within the last year I decided screw it, I'm joining a gym, I'm (gasp) running outside, and I'm going to yoga with my friends. Everything was going pretty well up until yesterday. Sure I still look like I'm made of spaghetti, but I managed to convince myself that nobody is paying attention to me while they're struggling to balance.

Then yesterday I was half way through yoga with a new instructor and she came over to me and asked if I was ok. I said yes. She said she was just checking. Then she reminded me I could switch to child's pose at any time if I feel I'm struggling. All of a sudden I felt naked. Like wait a minute, I look so awkward that she had to come and single me out and let me know that quitting is an option. Wow, so is this what everyone is thinking right now? I kept on seeing myself on the mirror and thinking she's right. I ended up silent crying in the middle of yoga class. I tried to explain to the instructor privately after class that her intentions may have been good, but it was upsetting to be singled out in class. Ya so I was just shaking and didn't actually get it all out.

So where the bravery comes in, I emailed the studio and explained my views on how to frame comments and provide constructive advice. The owner emailed me back apologizing, but also standing by the instructor and saying she herself would have done the same thing. It actually took a lot for me to send that email. I also have 8 classes left on my pass and there's no way I'm not using them. I really would love to never do yoga outside of my house again, but what does that accomplish. I'm going to take a friend with me on Friday and awkward stretch my way through class.

I know it doesn't seem like a big deal, but it is to me.

I hate it when instructors do that and it happens ALL OF THE TIME! Why can't they get that for the most part we do group classes to blend in not stand out. I'm really proud of you for continuing. I have gym/workout issues and I'm having a hard time facing those demons so I know how hard it can be.

 

[Calliecake]

So interesting reading about everyone's brave moments!

Sort of dealing with mine now. I am very tall and thin. It makes me look awkward while doing anything athletic (a wonderful coworker describes me as Jack Skellington in shorts...great). So within the last year I decided screw it, I'm joining a gym, I'm (gasp) running outside, and I'm going to yoga with my friends. Everything was going pretty well up until yesterday. Sure I still look like I'm made of spaghetti, but I managed to convince myself that nobody is paying attention to me while they're struggling to balance.

Then yesterday I was half way through yoga with a new instructor and she came over to me and asked if I was ok. I said yes. She said she was just checking. Then she reminded me I could switch to child's pose at any time if I feel I'm struggling. All of a sudden I felt naked. Like wait a minute, I look so awkward that she had to come and single me out and let me know that quitting is an option. Wow, so is this what everyone is thinking right now? I kept on seeing myself on the mirror and thinking she's right. I ended up silent crying in the middle of yoga class. I tried to explain to the instructor privately after class that her intentions may have been good, but it was upsetting to be singled out in class. Ya so I was just shaking and didn't actually get it all out.

So where the bravery comes in, I emailed the studio and explained my views on how to frame comments and provide constructive advice. The owner emailed me back apologizing, but also standing by the instructor and saying she herself would have done the same thing. It actually took a lot for me to send that email. I also have 8 classes left on my pass and there's no way I'm not using them. I really would love to never do yoga outside of my house again, but what does that accomplish. I'm going to take a friend with me on Friday and awkward stretch my way through class.

I know it doesn't seem like a big deal, but it is to me.

Oh Chemgirl, I'm sorry she did this to you. Good for you for sending the email. I'm the most uncoordinated person on the plant and went to exercise glasses when I was younger with a couple girlfriends. I just told myself that I was doing my best and it was definitely healthier than doing nothing, I'm proud of you Chemgirl.

 

[monarch64]

Oh, Chemgirl, my heart goes out to you! I have never handled constructive criticism in a group setting well. It's not encouraging, it feels like an example is being made of you and of course everyone is going to look to see who is doing something way more wrong than they are. It absolutely is a big deal. I get it. Hugs. I am really impressed that you plan to follow through with your next 8 sessions--if it were me, I don't know if I'd have the balls to continue. I am a highly sensitive person and would also have silent cried, and then lost it in my car on the way home for a good minute or two. That's just the way my body processes things. I used to feel embarrassed about it, but now I just let it out and move on. That release is cathartic and healing. I wish you the best in confronting this and getting through your next 8 classes.

 

[LLJsmom]

So interesting reading about everyone's brave moments!

Sort of dealing with mine now. I am very tall and thin. It makes me look awkward while doing anything athletic (a wonderful coworker describes me as Jack Skellington in shorts...great). So within the last year I decided screw it, I'm joining a gym, I'm (gasp) running outside, and I'm going to yoga with my friends. Everything was going pretty well up until yesterday. Sure I still look like I'm made of spaghetti, but I managed to convince myself that nobody is paying attention to me while they're struggling to balance.

Then yesterday I was half way through yoga with a new instructor and she came over to me and asked if I was ok. I said yes. She said she was just checking. Then she reminded me I could switch to child's pose at any time if I feel I'm struggling. All of a sudden I felt naked. Like wait a minute, I look so awkward that she had to come and single me out and let me know that quitting is an option. Wow, so is this what everyone is thinking right now? I kept on seeing myself on the mirror and thinking she's right. I ended up silent crying in the middle of yoga class. I tried to explain to the instructor privately after class that her intentions may have been good, but it was upsetting to be singled out in class. Ya so I was just shaking and didn't actually get it all out.

So where the bravery comes in, I emailed the studio and explained my views on how to frame comments and provide constructive advice. The owner emailed me back apologizing, but also standing by the instructor and saying she herself would have done the same thing. It actually took a lot for me to send that email. I also have 8 classes left on my pass and there's no way I'm not using them. I really would love to never do yoga outside of my house again, but what does that accomplish. I'm going to take a friend with me on Friday and awkward stretch my way through class.

I know it doesn't seem like a big deal, but it is to me.

Hi chemgirl, I'm so sorry that you felt badly about the comment. I am proud of you that you will keep going back. You have to. You have to have a defiant spirit. I have taken tons of new classes when instructors come by and fix and adjust me and give me tons of constructive criticism. I can see it's hard for you to take the feedback, but just control the negative thoughts that pop into your head when you hear it. Tell yourself that it's just going to make your workout/exercise/pose more effective, thus better for you. Hey, if you knew everything and could do everything perfectly, YOU would be the instructor. Don't allow yourself to feel bad. Everyone has been a beginner before. Just use it as information to get better, to improve. Everyone has room for improvement. I tell my kids to NEVER feel badly about getting something wrong or needing the teacher to explain something again, and again, and again. If they knew it already, they would not be in the class.

If other people do look at you funny, that is NOT your problem. You are where you are. You are the one doing the exercise to your own body. You're not knocking them over. You're not disturbing them. You do YOU. That is also part of yoga. You force your mind to shut out what others may or may not be thinking. It's IRRELEVANT to you. It does not touch you or your practice. You are there for YOU and no one else. Keep going girl. Be greedy and be selfish. Take your time. Take your space. Do what you can do, what you want to do. If you can't hold a pose, you come down and reset. Or you rest. Don't give a rat's ass about what anyone else is or is not doing, is or is not thinking. Yes, you may seem awkward to them and unbalanced. So WHAT??? It's none of no one else's business. Maybe you want to develop your balance and that will take time. Don't let anyone else's reaction keep you from attaining your goals.

 

[chemgirl]

So interesting reading about everyone's brave moments!

Sort of dealing with mine now. I am very tall and thin. It makes me look awkward while doing anything athletic (a wonderful coworker describes me as Jack Skellington in shorts...great). So within the last year I decided screw it, I'm joining a gym, I'm (gasp) running outside, and I'm going to yoga with my friends. Everything was going pretty well up until yesterday. Sure I still look like I'm made of spaghetti, but I managed to convince myself that nobody is paying attention to me while they're struggling to balance.

Then yesterday I was half way through yoga with a new instructor and she came over to me and asked if I was ok. I said yes. She said she was just checking. Then she reminded me I could switch to child's pose at any time if I feel I'm struggling. All of a sudden I felt naked. Like wait a minute, I look so awkward that she had to come and single me out and let me know that quitting is an option. Wow, so is this what everyone is thinking right now? I kept on seeing myself on the mirror and thinking she's right. I ended up silent crying in the middle of yoga class. I tried to explain to the instructor privately after class that her intentions may have been good, but it was upsetting to be singled out in class. Ya so I was just shaking and didn't actually get it all out.

So where the bravery comes in, I emailed the studio and explained my views on how to frame comments and provide constructive advice. The owner emailed me back apologizing, but also standing by the instructor and saying she herself would have done the same thing. It actually took a lot for me to send that email. I also have 8 classes left on my pass and there's no way I'm not using them. I really would love to never do yoga outside of my house again, but what does that accomplish. I'm going to take a friend with me on Friday and awkward stretch my way through class.

I know it doesn't seem like a big deal, but it is to me.

Hi chemgirl, I'm so sorry that you felt badly about the comment. I am proud of you that you will keep going back. You have to. You have to have a defiant spirit. I have taken tons of new classes when instructors come by and fix and adjust me and give me tons of constructive criticism. I can see it's hard for you to take the feedback, but just control the negative thoughts that pop into your head when you hear it. Tell yourself that it's just going to make your workout/exercise/pose more effective, thus better for you. Hey, if you knew everything and could do everything perfectly, YOU would be the instructor. Don't allow yourself to feel bad. Everyone has been a beginner before. Just use it as information to get better, to improve. Everyone has room for improvement. I tell my kids to NEVER feel badly about getting something wrong or needing the teacher to explain something again, and again, and again. If they knew it already, they would not be in the class.

If other people do look at you funny, that is NOT your problem. You are where you are. You are the one doing the exercise to your own body. You're not knocking them over. You're not disturbing them. You do YOU. That is also part of yoga. You force your mind to shut out what others may or may not be thinking. It's IRRELEVANT to you. It does not touch you or your practice. You are there for YOU and no one else. Keep going girl. Be greedy and be selfish. Take your time. Take your space. Do what you can do, what you want to do. If you can't hold a pose, you come down and reset. Or you rest. Don't give a rat's a$$ about what anyone else is or is not doing, is or is not thinking. Yes, you may seem awkward to them and unbalanced. So WHAT??? It's none of no one else's business. Maybe you want to develop your balance and that will take time. Don't let anyone else's reaction keep you from attaining your goals.

Thanks everyone for your compassion on this. Glad to see I'm not the only one who has some anxiety about working out in public.

LLJsmom

Actually this is why I sent the email. I didn't think this was constructive criticism. I've attended close to 50 classes at this studio, but the first with this instructor. I can't count the number of times I've been told to straighten my back or align my knees or any number of adjustments. I think that's great and a big part of why I do yoga in a class setting. I totally welcome and instructor to come along with a block or a strap if they see I can't quite reach something on a particular day. They do it to everyone and to me that's why you pay to learn from a professional.

I have never heard an instructor ask someone if they're ok and let them know they can stop. How is that helpful?

That wasn't intended to be confrontational. I was just trying to explain that I can take direction just fine. Also she never once tried to adjust a pose. I think that's why I was more upset. It's like I was a lost cause or something because there was no attempt to actually teach me.

 

[missy]

So interesting reading about everyone's brave moments!

Sort of dealing with mine now. I am very tall and thin. It makes me look awkward while doing anything athletic (a wonderful coworker describes me as Jack Skellington in shorts...great). So within the last year I decided screw it, I'm joining a gym, I'm (gasp) running outside, and I'm going to yoga with my friends. Everything was going pretty well up until yesterday. Sure I still look like I'm made of spaghetti, but I managed to convince myself that nobody is paying attention to me while they're struggling to balance.

Then yesterday I was half way through yoga with a new instructor and she came over to me and asked if I was ok. I said yes. She said she was just checking. Then she reminded me I could switch to child's pose at any time if I feel I'm struggling. All of a sudden I felt naked. Like wait a minute, I look so awkward that she had to come and single me out and let me know that quitting is an option. Wow, so is this what everyone is thinking right now? I kept on seeing myself on the mirror and thinking she's right. I ended up silent crying in the middle of yoga class. I tried to explain to the instructor privately after class that her intentions may have been good, but it was upsetting to be singled out in class. Ya so I was just shaking and didn't actually get it all out.

So where the bravery comes in, I emailed the studio and explained my views on how to frame comments and provide constructive advice. The owner emailed me back apologizing, but also standing by the instructor and saying she herself would have done the same thing. It actually took a lot for me to send that email. I also have 8 classes left on my pass and there's no way I'm not using them. I really would love to never do yoga outside of my house again, but what does that accomplish. I'm going to take a friend with me on Friday and awkward stretch my way through class.

I know it doesn't seem like a big deal, but it is to me.

Hi chemgirl, I'm so sorry that you felt badly about the comment. I am proud of you that you will keep going back. You have to. You have to have a defiant spirit. I have taken tons of new classes when instructors come by and fix and adjust me and give me tons of constructive criticism. I can see it's hard for you to take the feedback, but just control the negative thoughts that pop into your head when you hear it. Tell yourself that it's just going to make your workout/exercise/pose more effective, thus better for you. Hey, if you knew everything and could do everything perfectly, YOU would be the instructor. Don't allow yourself to feel bad. Everyone has been a beginner before. Just use it as information to get better, to improve. Everyone has room for improvement. I tell my kids to NEVER feel badly about getting something wrong or needing the teacher to explain something again, and again, and again. If they knew it already, they would not be in the class.

If other people do look at you funny, that is NOT your problem. You are where you are. You are the one doing the exercise to your own body. You're not knocking them over. You're not disturbing them. You do YOU. That is also part of yoga. You force your mind to shut out what others may or may not be thinking. It's IRRELEVANT to you. It does not touch you or your practice. You are there for YOU and no one else. Keep going girl. Be greedy and be selfish. Take your time. Take your space. Do what you can do, what you want to do. If you can't hold a pose, you come down and reset. Or you rest. Don't give a rat's a$$ about what anyone else is or is not doing, is or is not thinking. Yes, you may seem awkward to them and unbalanced. So WHAT??? It's none of no one else's business. Maybe you want to develop your balance and that will take time. Don't let anyone else's reaction keep you from attaining your goals.

Chemgirl, I am so sorry you had to deal with such an unpleasant experience and I wholeheartedly agree with LLJsmom's wise advice. And I agree completely that your instructor and her boss are wrong in how they handled this and your instructor should never have called you out like that in the middle of class. Makes me furious for you and you handled it perfectly right down to making the boss aware. Too bad the boss doesn't get it. But good for you for going back with your friend and persevering and good for you for pushing through your discomfort and forging ahead and doing what you want to do! YOU GO GIRL!!!

And you are so brave for continuing to push ahead and take the initiative and get out of your comfort zone to make your life better and healthier! And as LLJsmom said, You do YOU!!! (((HUGS)))!!!

 

[YadaYadaYada]

LLJsmom, You are one strong woman, I wouldn't even consider a Spartan and certainly not a Marathon and on top of it you came in at your fastest ever speed. Amazing work!

Chemgirl, Can't imagine being singled out like that in a class and I'm surprised that the owner stood by what the instructor did. Despite that, the fact that you are intent on going back and bringing some backup is courageous and admirable. Takes a lot of guts to continue on.

 

[MarionC]

Last year I had travel bravery. I was NOT a traveler at all. I was supposed to go to France with someone and they bailed out. I went alone, terrified. Best thing I ever did. It was difficult, scary, confusing [went during flooding & strikes] but that leap of faith changed my life. I went from a scared stay-at-home to a confident traveller. How wonderful that you are in for adventure.

 

[Alybetter]

It's a very interesting glimpse to read these examples and be reminded of just how subjective bravery is. Facing the things that are frightening and/or controversial can be so difficult. It can only make a person stronger. I appreciate being able to read these and I respect that people are willing to share.

My husband has a job that requires him to be gone a lot, and the weirdest part is that he can't tell me anything really about what he does. I'll sometimes hear him talking to co-workers and hear the things that have happened to him, the situations he's been in. There basically aren't words to describe how much I appreciate him for being an excellent human and provider.

I hope that you guys appreciate your brave moments, and that your loved ones do too. They will have ripple effects, even if just in your own mind.

 

[girlyglam]

I love this thread! I firmly believe that the personal bravery - even if it's something that others don't give a second thought about - are the ones that require the greatest strength and courage. Kudos to everyone here!

I'm not sure I have any "big" moments of bravery lately, but I think one of my most recent moments of bravery is finally taking the leap to teach pole classes. I've been pole dancing for about 7 years now, but I have no dance/gymnastics background and did absolutely nothing physical when I started. Thus, I've been a pretty slow learner. I'm at a fairly decent intermediate-advanced level now, but I know plenty of people who have gotten there in less than half the time it took me. So I've never considered myself "good" at pole. But even so, I had been thinking about and wanting to get into teaching for a while.

About a year and a half ago, the main pole studio I go to was looking for apprentice instructors and offering teacher training. I thought about applying, but the timing wasn't ideal (we were still working through my dog's separation anxiety and I could only get out of the apt. if my SO was home), and I just didn't feel like I was good enough to even be considered. Of course, I was then kicking myself when I found out a few of my peers had applied and gotten accepted because as far as skill level went, we were all about on the same level. The owner offered another apprentice instructor training about 6 months ago, and I did apply then, but it never ended up happening.

However, around the same time I had applied for that, I got a text from a dancer friend of mine who said the studio she teaches at offered a pole fitness class and was looking for an instructor - would I be interested? I was so excited and also terrified. On one hand, yes, absolutely, I desperately wanted this. But on the other hand, I had never taught pole before, and I was so scared I would be awful at it. I am not nearly as good as the people I take classes from or the professionals that tour and make careers out of this, and I was also terrified I'd be exposed as a fraud. Still, the apprentice opportunity at my studio wasn't happening, and I didn't know when, if ever, I would ever be offered an opportunity to teach again so I felt like I had to just go for it. I've now been teaching one pole class a week for the past 5 months or so, and I am SO glad I said yes. I love it. I love seeing my students achieve new things, I love seeing them have fun, and I walk away from every class with such a high. I've gotten some regular students, which feels good too. I do still have doubts about my teaching, but I'm doing my best.

So interesting reading about everyone's brave moments!

Sort of dealing with mine now. I am very tall and thin. It makes me look awkward while doing anything athletic (a wonderful coworker describes me as Jack Skellington in shorts...great). So within the last year I decided screw it, I'm joining a gym, I'm (gasp) running outside, and I'm going to yoga with my friends. Everything was going pretty well up until yesterday. Sure I still look like I'm made of spaghetti, but I managed to convince myself that nobody is paying attention to me while they're struggling to balance.

Then yesterday I was half way through yoga with a new instructor and she came over to me and asked if I was ok. I said yes. She said she was just checking. Then she reminded me I could switch to child's pose at any time if I feel I'm struggling. All of a sudden I felt naked. Like wait a minute, I look so awkward that she had to come and single me out and let me know that quitting is an option. Wow, so is this what everyone is thinking right now? I kept on seeing myself on the mirror and thinking she's right. I ended up silent crying in the middle of yoga class. I tried to explain to the instructor privately after class that her intentions may have been good, but it was upsetting to be singled out in class. Ya so I was just shaking and didn't actually get it all out.

So where the bravery comes in, I emailed the studio and explained my views on how to frame comments and provide constructive advice. The owner emailed me back apologizing, but also standing by the instructor and saying she herself would have done the same thing. It actually took a lot for me to send that email. I also have 8 classes left on my pass and there's no way I'm not using them. I really would love to never do yoga outside of my house again, but what does that accomplish. I'm going to take a friend with me on Friday and awkward stretch my way through class.

I know it doesn't seem like a big deal, but it is to me.

Thank you for sharing this! As a newbie fitness instructor, it is helpful for me to hear about what makes a class a good experience and what make a class an awful one. I'm so sorry you experienced this. How did the instructor react when you tried discussing it with her privately? I know I would have felt awful and apologized profusely. I do try to be super encouraging in my class, especially since pole is usually a new, weird, possibly scary thing for people to try. I want it to be a positive experience for them. I also try to draw upon the fact that I am NOT a natural, and it took me ages to learn something that was so easy for others. Basically, I aim to be encouraging and constructive in all the instruction I give, and if I'm working with someone one-on-one, I am trying to give them corrections or tips on what to do. I'm generally teaching mixed level classes - from someone who had never climbed or spun to someone who is doing these things easily - so my instruction tends to be a bit individualize by nature, and actually, my worry is usually that I'm not giving enough attention to each student individually. I'm now wondering if this stems from my own personal preferences though - I thrive on corrections and individualized attention, although this is generally because the feedback I'm receiving is constructive and I try to also be constructive in the feedback I give. I also try not to push people beyond what they can physically handle, and I try to let my students know that they should feel free to take breaks if/when they need to. Would it have been better if, instead of telling you, and just you, that you can go into child's pose if needed, she said as a general announcement to the entire class that anyone can go back into child's pose at any point if they needed/wanted? I think it's wonderful you emailed the studio, and I hope your comments were shared with the instructor!

 

[chemgirl]

I love this thread! I firmly believe that the personal bravery - even if it's something that others don't give a second thought about - are the ones that require the greatest strength and courage. Kudos to everyone here!

I'm not sure I have any "big" moments of bravery lately, but I think one of my most recent moments of bravery is finally taking the leap to teach pole classes. I've been pole dancing for about 7 years now, but I have no dance/gymnastics background and did absolutely nothing physical when I started. Thus, I've been a pretty slow learner. I'm at a fairly decent intermediate-advanced level now, but I know plenty of people who have gotten there in less than half the time it took me. So I've never considered myself "good" at pole. But even so, I had been thinking about and wanting to get into teaching for a while.

About a year and a half ago, the main pole studio I go to was looking for apprentice instructors and offering teacher training. I thought about applying, but the timing wasn't ideal (we were still working through my dog's separation anxiety and I could only get out of the apt. if my SO was home), and I just didn't feel like I was good enough to even be considered. Of course, I was then kicking myself when I found out a few of my peers had applied and gotten accepted because as far as skill level went, we were all about on the same level. The owner offered another apprentice instructor training about 6 months ago, and I did apply then, but it never ended up happening.

However, around the same time I had applied for that, I got a text from a dancer friend of mine who said the studio she teaches at offered a pole fitness class and was looking for an instructor - would I be interested? I was so excited and also terrified. On one hand, yes, absolutely, I desperately wanted this. But on the other hand, I had never taught pole before, and I was so scared I would be awful at it. I am not nearly as good as the people I take classes from or the professionals that tour and make careers out of this, and I was also terrified I'd be exposed as a fraud. Still, the apprentice opportunity at my studio wasn't happening, and I didn't know when, if ever, I would ever be offered an opportunity to teach again so I felt like I had to just go for it. I've now been teaching one pole class a week for the past 5 months or so, and I am SO glad I said yes. I love it. I love seeing my students achieve new things, I love seeing them have fun, and I walk away from every class with such a high. I've gotten some regular students, which feels good too. I do still have doubts about my teaching, but I'm doing my best.

So interesting reading about everyone's brave moments!

Sort of dealing with mine now. I am very tall and thin. It makes me look awkward while doing anything athletic (a wonderful coworker describes me as Jack Skellington in shorts...great). So within the last year I decided screw it, I'm joining a gym, I'm (gasp) running outside, and I'm going to yoga with my friends. Everything was going pretty well up until yesterday. Sure I still look like I'm made of spaghetti, but I managed to convince myself that nobody is paying attention to me while they're struggling to balance.

Then yesterday I was half way through yoga with a new instructor and she came over to me and asked if I was ok. I said yes. She said she was just checking. Then she reminded me I could switch to child's pose at any time if I feel I'm struggling. All of a sudden I felt naked. Like wait a minute, I look so awkward that she had to come and single me out and let me know that quitting is an option. Wow, so is this what everyone is thinking right now? I kept on seeing myself on the mirror and thinking she's right. I ended up silent crying in the middle of yoga class. I tried to explain to the instructor privately after class that her intentions may have been good, but it was upsetting to be singled out in class. Ya so I was just shaking and didn't actually get it all out.

So where the bravery comes in, I emailed the studio and explained my views on how to frame comments and provide constructive advice. The owner emailed me back apologizing, but also standing by the instructor and saying she herself would have done the same thing. It actually took a lot for me to send that email. I also have 8 classes left on my pass and there's no way I'm not using them. I really would love to never do yoga outside of my house again, but what does that accomplish. I'm going to take a friend with me on Friday and awkward stretch my way through class.

I know it doesn't seem like a big deal, but it is to me.

Thank you for sharing this! As a newbie fitness instructor, it is helpful for me to hear about what makes a class a good experience and what make a class an awful one. I'm so sorry you experienced this. How did the instructor react when you tried discussing it with her privately? I know I would have felt awful and apologized profusely. I do try to be super encouraging in my class, especially since pole is usually a new, weird, possibly scary thing for people to try. I want it to be a positive experience for them. I also try to draw upon the fact that I am NOT a natural, and it took me ages to learn something that was so easy for others. Basically, I aim to be encouraging and constructive in all the instruction I give, and if I'm working with someone one-on-one, I am trying to give them corrections or tips on what to do. I'm generally teaching mixed level classes - from someone who had never climbed or spun to someone who is doing these things easily - so my instruction tends to be a bit individualize by nature, and actually, my worry is usually that I'm not giving enough attention to each student individually. I'm now wondering if this stems from my own personal preferences though - I thrive on corrections and individualized attention, although this is generally because the feedback I'm receiving is constructive and I try to also be constructive in the feedback I give. I also try not to push people beyond what they can physically handle, and I try to let my students know that they should feel free to take breaks if/when they need to. Would it have been better if, instead of telling you, and just you, that you can go into child's pose if needed, she said as a general announcement to the entire class that anyone can go back into child's pose at any point if they needed/wanted? I think it's wonderful you emailed the studio, and I hope your comments were shared with the instructor!

Wow so awesome that you teach pole! That is something I have always wanted to try!

As far as instruction in fitness classes I really do think it's valuable for each student to get some individual attention. I would have liked feedback on how I could improve my pose, or even offering an aid or a modification that might make it easier for me. I think that's a normal part of teaching a class. I also would have been ok with a general comment to the class about not being afraid to take child's pose whenever you need it. It's all about helping the students do their best. We're there for fitness, but also to get fancy new skills!

ETA: The instructor said she thought I was in distress and needed to stop. I was wobbling a lot as my balance is terrible, but I was never in any actual distress (I run 30+ miles per week so was totally fine from a fitness perspective ie not sweating and breathing normally).

 

[LLJsmom]

So interesting reading about everyone's brave moments!

Sort of dealing with mine now. I am very tall and thin. It makes me look awkward while doing anything athletic (a wonderful coworker describes me as Jack Skellington in shorts...great). So within the last year I decided screw it, I'm joining a gym, I'm (gasp) running outside, and I'm going to yoga with my friends. Everything was going pretty well up until yesterday. Sure I still look like I'm made of spaghetti, but I managed to convince myself that nobody is paying attention to me while they're struggling to balance.

Then yesterday I was half way through yoga with a new instructor and she came over to me and asked if I was ok. I said yes. She said she was just checking. Then she reminded me I could switch to child's pose at any time if I feel I'm struggling. All of a sudden I felt naked. Like wait a minute, I look so awkward that she had to come and single me out and let me know that quitting is an option. Wow, so is this what everyone is thinking right now? I kept on seeing myself on the mirror and thinking she's right. I ended up silent crying in the middle of yoga class. I tried to explain to the instructor privately after class that her intentions may have been good, but it was upsetting to be singled out in class. Ya so I was just shaking and didn't actually get it all out.

So where the bravery comes in, I emailed the studio and explained my views on how to frame comments and provide constructive advice. The owner emailed me back apologizing, but also standing by the instructor and saying she herself would have done the same thing. It actually took a lot for me to send that email. I also have 8 classes left on my pass and there's no way I'm not using them. I really would love to never do yoga outside of my house again, but what does that accomplish. I'm going to take a friend with me on Friday and awkward stretch my way through class.

I know it doesn't seem like a big deal, but it is to me.

Hi chemgirl, I'm so sorry that you felt badly about the comment. I am proud of you that you will keep going back. You have to. You have to have a defiant spirit. I have taken tons of new classes when instructors come by and fix and adjust me and give me tons of constructive criticism. I can see it's hard for you to take the feedback, but just control the negative thoughts that pop into your head when you hear it. Tell yourself that it's just going to make your workout/exercise/pose more effective, thus better for you. Hey, if you knew everything and could do everything perfectly, YOU would be the instructor. Don't allow yourself to feel bad. Everyone has been a beginner before. Just use it as information to get better, to improve. Everyone has room for improvement. I tell my kids to NEVER feel badly about getting something wrong or needing the teacher to explain something again, and again, and again. If they knew it already, they would not be in the class.

If other people do look at you funny, that is NOT your problem. You are where you are. You are the one doing the exercise to your own body. You're not knocking them over. You're not disturbing them. You do YOU. That is also part of yoga. You force your mind to shut out what others may or may not be thinking. It's IRRELEVANT to you. It does not touch you or your practice. You are there for YOU and no one else. Keep going girl. Be greedy and be selfish. Take your time. Take your space. Do what you can do, what you want to do. If you can't hold a pose, you come down and reset. Or you rest. Don't give a rat's a$$ about what anyone else is or is not doing, is or is not thinking. Yes, you may seem awkward to them and unbalanced. So WHAT??? It's none of no one else's business. Maybe you want to develop your balance and that will take time. Don't let anyone else's reaction keep you from attaining your goals.

Thanks everyone for your compassion on this. Glad to see I'm not the only one who has some anxiety about working out in public.

LLJsmom

Actually this is why I sent the email. I didn't think this was constructive criticism. I've attended close to 50 classes at this studio, but the first with this instructor. I can't count the number of times I've been told to straighten my back or align my knees or any number of adjustments. I think that's great and a big part of why I do yoga in a class setting. I totally welcome and instructor to come along with a block or a strap if they see I can't quite reach something on a particular day. They do it to everyone and to me that's why you pay to learn from a professional.

I have never heard an instructor ask someone if they're ok and let them know they can stop. How is that helpful?

That wasn't intended to be confrontational. I was just trying to explain that I can take direction just fine. Also she never once tried to adjust a pose. I think that's why I was more upset. It's like I was a lost cause or something because there was no attempt to actually teach me.

I am sorry you felt so badly. I hope the instructor can understand why you felt the way you did and will be more sensitive to people in the future, and try to actually be more constructive. I personally have been asked by instructors if I was ok to continue when I've been pouring sweat so that is why I don't think anything of it. I can kinda see a bikram instructor asking people that. I've seen people pass out in class so instructors in my classes have asked people if they were ok. I hope you keep going and just tune this instructor out. I've learned to do that too.

 

[LLJsmom]

I love this thread! I firmly believe that the personal bravery - even if it's something that others don't give a second thought about - are the ones that require the greatest strength and courage. Kudos to everyone here!

I'm not sure I have any "big" moments of bravery lately, but I think one of my most recent moments of bravery is finally taking the leap to teach pole classes. I've been pole dancing for about 7 years now, but I have no dance/gymnastics background and did absolutely nothing physical when I started. Thus, I've been a pretty slow learner. I'm at a fairly decent intermediate-advanced level now, but I know plenty of people who have gotten there in less than half the time it took me. So I've never considered myself "good" at pole. But even so, I had been thinking about and wanting to get into teaching for a while.

About a year and a half ago, the main pole studio I go to was looking for apprentice instructors and offering teacher training. I thought about applying, but the timing wasn't ideal (we were still working through my dog's separation anxiety and I could only get out of the apt. if my SO was home), and I just didn't feel like I was good enough to even be considered. Of course, I was then kicking myself when I found out a few of my peers had applied and gotten accepted because as far as skill level went, we were all about on the same level. The owner offered another apprentice instructor training about 6 months ago, and I did apply then, but it never ended up happening.

However, around the same time I had applied for that, I got a text from a dancer friend of mine who said the studio she teaches at offered a pole fitness class and was looking for an instructor - would I be interested? I was so excited and also terrified. On one hand, yes, absolutely, I desperately wanted this. But on the other hand, I had never taught pole before, and I was so scared I would be awful at it. I am not nearly as good as the people I take classes from or the professionals that tour and make careers out of this, and I was also terrified I'd be exposed as a fraud. Still, the apprentice opportunity at my studio wasn't happening, and I didn't know when, if ever, I would ever be offered an opportunity to teach again so I felt like I had to just go for it. I've now been teaching one pole class a week for the past 5 months or so, and I am SO glad I said yes. I love it. I love seeing my students achieve new things, I love seeing them have fun, and I walk away from every class with such a high. I've gotten some regular students, which feels good too. I do still have doubts about my teaching, but I'm doing my best.

So interesting reading about everyone's brave moments!

Sort of dealing with mine now. I am very tall and thin. It makes me look awkward while doing anything athletic (a wonderful coworker describes me as Jack Skellington in shorts...great). So within the last year I decided screw it, I'm joining a gym, I'm (gasp) running outside, and I'm going to yoga with my friends. Everything was going pretty well up until yesterday. Sure I still look like I'm made of spaghetti, but I managed to convince myself that nobody is paying attention to me while they're struggling to balance.

Then yesterday I was half way through yoga with a new instructor and she came over to me and asked if I was ok. I said yes. She said she was just checking. Then she reminded me I could switch to child's pose at any time if I feel I'm struggling. All of a sudden I felt naked. Like wait a minute, I look so awkward that she had to come and single me out and let me know that quitting is an option. Wow, so is this what everyone is thinking right now? I kept on seeing myself on the mirror and thinking she's right. I ended up silent crying in the middle of yoga class. I tried to explain to the instructor privately after class that her intentions may have been good, but it was upsetting to be singled out in class. Ya so I was just shaking and didn't actually get it all out.

So where the bravery comes in, I emailed the studio and explained my views on how to frame comments and provide constructive advice. The owner emailed me back apologizing, but also standing by the instructor and saying she herself would have done the same thing. It actually took a lot for me to send that email. I also have 8 classes left on my pass and there's no way I'm not using them. I really would love to never do yoga outside of my house again, but what does that accomplish. I'm going to take a friend with me on Friday and awkward stretch my way through class.

I know it doesn't seem like a big deal, but it is to me.

Thank you for sharing this! As a newbie fitness instructor, it is helpful for me to hear about what makes a class a good experience and what make a class an awful one. I'm so sorry you experienced this. How did the instructor react when you tried discussing it with her privately? I know I would have felt awful and apologized profusely. I do try to be super encouraging in my class, especially since pole is usually a new, weird, possibly scary thing for people to try. I want it to be a positive experience for them. I also try to draw upon the fact that I am NOT a natural, and it took me ages to learn something that was so easy for others. Basically, I aim to be encouraging and constructive in all the instruction I give, and if I'm working with someone one-on-one, I am trying to give them corrections or tips on what to do. I'm generally teaching mixed level classes - from someone who had never climbed or spun to someone who is doing these things easily - so my instruction tends to be a bit individualize by nature, and actually, my worry is usually that I'm not giving enough attention to each student individually. I'm now wondering if this stems from my own personal preferences though - I thrive on corrections and individualized attention, although this is generally because the feedback I'm receiving is constructive and I try to also be constructive in the feedback I give. I also try not to push people beyond what they can physically handle, and I try to let my students know that they should feel free to take breaks if/when they need to. Would it have been better if, instead of telling you, and just you, that you can go into child's pose if needed, she said as a general announcement to the entire class that anyone can go back into child's pose at any point if they needed/wanted? I think it's wonderful you emailed the studio, and I hope your comments were shared with the instructor!

Hats off to you!! Even if I wanted to learn pole dancing I would t have the courage to do that. That is super impressive. That is owning your body. Congratulations and good for you!!!!