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My friend wants a yellow wedding dress... ?!?!?!

tuffyluvr

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 24, 2011
Messages
1,339
Okay, soooo one of my best friends recently got engaged and she asked another friend and I to be her co-maids of honor. She asked us both to go dress shopping and I'm super excited, buuuuuuuttt she wants a yellow wedding dress!!! At first when she told me yellow, I was thinking a really, really soft butter yellow, but she recently was showing me pictures
of dresses she pulled from magazines, and she took out a picture of a bridesmaids dress that was quite a bright pastel yellow. I want her to be happy and have what she wants, but I feel like she could be making a big mistake by wearing that yellow dress--I really feel like she could end up looking like an Easter egg, or like a prom queen. Do I keep my mouth shut, and let her go with what she's envisioning, or do I try to gently sway her. She is a gorgeous girl and she will be beautiful no matter what, but I dint want her to look back at photos and regret her choice...
 

yssie

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Aug 14, 2009
Messages
20,748
hey, she knows what she wants - and as long as she picks something that flatters her figure and colouring and that won't send the grandparents running in horror - who are we (you!) to say otherwise?

White wasn't traditionally the colour of choice, and doesn't actually mean pure/virginal/whatever anymore anyway ::)
 

swingirl

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 6, 2006
Messages
5,655
tuffyluvr|1307219263|2937842 said:
Okay, soooo one of my best friends recently got engaged and she asked another friend and I to be her co-maids of honor. She asked us both to go dress shopping and I'm super excited, buuuuuuuttt she wants a yellow wedding dress!!! At first when she told me yellow, I was thinking a really, really soft butter yellow, but she recently was showing me pictures
of dresses she pulled from magazines, and she took out a picture of a bridesmaids dress that was quite a bright pastel yellow. I want her to be happy and have what she wants, but I feel like she could be making a big mistake by wearing that yellow dress--I really feel like she could end up looking like an Easter egg, or like a prom queen. Do I keep my mouth shut, and let her go with what she's envisioning, or do I try to gently sway her. She is a gorgeous girl and she will be beautiful no matter what, but I dint want her to look back at photos and regret her choice...
Yes. She's the bride. What you REALLY don't want is her regretting NOT having a yellow dress when that's what she really wanted and remembering who talked her out of it!
 

tuffyluvr

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 24, 2011
Messages
1,339
I actually like the idea of a yellow dress, it's just the hue that was a bit shocking. I, personally, think that she would look stunning in a softer color. I think a creamy, buttery yellow would be stunning in the silk and lace fabrics she likes. But, ultimately, it's her dress/day, so she should wear whatever she loves. Hopefully when we go shopping they will have several shades of yellow dresses she can try on, so she can find that perfect hue.
 

mary poppins

Ideal_Rock
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Apr 10, 2010
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2,569
No all brides wear white or ivory. There's a thread here in BWW with PSers who have worn nontraditional dresses and looked fabulous.

It's your friend's day, she should wear what she wants. No need to be a naysayer and cause drama. Maybe she'll try on some yellow dresses and won't like them. Or maybe she'll find a great one.
 

tuffyluvr

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 24, 2011
Messages
1,339
I don't think I was very clear--should I sway her to look at some softer colors? I am not going to tell her to wear white. I like the idea of a soft yellow dress, but I am afraid that a lemony-yellow lace dress might look like a pageant dress?
 

mary poppins

Ideal_Rock
Premium
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Apr 10, 2010
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I think your friend would probably be happy if you showed support and excitement about her yellow dress idea. Helping her find a variety of yellow dresses is one way to do that.

Have you found any lighter yellow dresses to suggest? If so, tell her you found some yellow dresses for her to check out and ask if she's considering shades of yellow other than the ones she's already showed you. If so, send her emails of the dresses you found.

The key will be trying on in person. Maybe the shade she already likes actually looks good on her and fits in with a theme she envisions. If not, it's nice to have other shades to choose from.
 

Italiahaircolor

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 16, 2007
Messages
5,184
Like with any other MOH helping a bride shop, you should be honest.

If she wants yellow, then you should be honest about the how the yellow dresses look on her. Not going off any preconceived notions, you have to check the "not that shade" attitude at the door. If she tries a dress on and looks amazing, say so...if she tries a dress on and look awful, be honest. Even if a bride chooses to wear white, not every white dress will be flattering and accentuate her qualities.
 

tuffyluvr

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 24, 2011
Messages
1,339
I'm feeling really guilty rereading this. I was not trying to sound like I was not excited for my friend's unique choice. Trust me, I'm all about bucking tradition. I guess what I'm thinking is that she is going to end up buying a dress and having it dyed the shade that she would like, which kind of scares me--it seems risky since you don't always know how a fabric will react to a dye. She really likes lace, and I'm worried that it wouldn't dye well and she could end up looking like an easter egg!! That's why I initially thought that a softer yellow would be a better bet, since its a "safer" choice. Like I said, she's gorgeous and would look great in anything--she has olive skin, hazel eyes and sandy hair, so she can pull off any shade.

What about being the only one wearing the color? I really don't care about the symbolism or tradition of white dresses, but what I do think is special is that you are the only one wearing white as a bride. Not sure if this is the case everywhere (case-in-point, Pippa Middleton). I guess you couldn't really ask your guests not to wear yellow... I suppose you just suck it up and conceed to the fact that one of your guests could end up in the same hue?

Have any of you had colored wedding dresses, or friends who had colored dresses? If so, did you buy a white wedding dress and have it dyed, did you buy fabric and have it made, or buy it straight off-the-rack in that color?
 

FrekeChild

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 14, 2007
Messages
19,456
I wore a "dove gray" Badgley Mischka evening gown. I think it was more silver than anything else...

My husband was shocked...that the dress wasn't blue.

Speaking as a bride that had an untraditional dress, I'd keep my mouth shut. You aren't going to change her mind. And if you try, it may affect your relationship.

[067597]022 freke.jpg
 

iheartscience

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 1, 2007
Messages
12,111
Hm, I do agree that a bright yellow lacey gown is going to look pretty pageanty. That said, if she's got her heart set on it I don't think there's much you can do. You could gently suggest trying on something in a lighter buttery yellow if the opportunity arises, but otherwise I'd let it go.

I wore a pink gown by Amsale, but it was a very light pink. It was gorgeous, if I do say so myself!

favedressdadfdsa2.jpg
 

tuffyluvr

Brilliant_Rock
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Mar 24, 2011
Messages
1,339
Your dresses are amazing, ladies!!! I guess I just feel like those softer colors are more "bridal". Both of you look like brides, and I can totally imagine the soft butter yellow as bridal gown. I just worry that it will end up looking prom or pageanty, but everyone is right. It's her gown, and it wouldn't be fair to try and get her to wear something because I feel like it looks more bridal. if she feels like a bride in a canary yellow dress, so be it! Thanks!
 

Guilty Pleasure

Brilliant_Rock
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May 16, 2008
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If she wants to look like Belle from Beauty and the Beast, let her! Just remember to give her your honest opinion only if she asks for it, and only in the frame of accepting what she wants. If she's set on yellow, then help her find the prettiest yellow dress she can.
 

Gypsy

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 8, 2005
Messages
40,198
Here's what I think. Make sure you go shopping with her to look at dresses and snap as many pics as you can.

What I am imagining is Belle's ball gown from beauty and the Beast. It looked lovely. Of course it was a cartoon.

Try to encourage her to find the RIGHT shade of yellow for HER looks. Whatever shade flatters her is what she should wear. Seriously. I don't think anyone should rule out any shade of yellow until she tries a few on, snaps some pics, and you all decide what she looks best in.

What you don't want is for her to look sallow or well... just bad, in whatever shade it is.

So what *I* would tell her as a BM is to keep an open mind. Then support her, but stress that it is a day when she wants to look her best.

Also, it's going to be an utter PITA to find a yellow wedding gown, unless she IS going to be happy with a Prom type gown or a BM gown.
 

fleur-de-lis

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Apr 25, 2007
Messages
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(Though I didn't care for it for other reasons,) Tuffylvr I think you'll get a kick out of the pilot episode of "Whitney", on NBC Thursday nights this fall.
 

04diamond<3

Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 31, 2007
Messages
3,665
tuffyluvr|1307310498|2938545 said:
Your dresses are amazing, ladies!!! I guess I just feel like those softer colors are more "bridal". Both of you look like brides, and I can totally imagine the soft butter yellow as bridal gown. I just worry that it will end up looking prom or pageanty, but everyone is right. It's her gown, and it wouldn't be fair to try and get her to wear something because I feel like it looks more bridal. if she feels like a bride in a canary yellow dress, so be it! Thanks!

WOW!!!!!!!!! I cant believe how hard you're trying to fight how you're feeling. This is NOT your day. You are part of the "support" team, and that's all you should be. This is NOT your wedding, and not your dress. You should be a friend to her that may offer suggestions, but if she's made up her mind that she wants a yellow dress, not matter how dark/light/bright/soft the hue might be, you are there to help. If you keep pushing your unecessary opinion, I agree with the others, you will destroy, or at least hurt your friendship. I think you need to stop trying to change her mind and focus on what matters. Your friend is getting married, the last thing you should be doing is giving her more headache. I am not sure if you're married or not, but us brides do NOT need more crap, let a lone from our "friends". Be supportive and help her create what will be the best day of her life.
 

VRBeauty

Super_Ideal_Rock
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10,267
tuffyluvr|1307310498|2938545 said:
Your dresses are amazing, ladies!!! I guess I just feel like those softer colors are more "bridal". Both of you look like brides, and I can totally imagine the soft butter yellow as bridal gown. I just worry that it will end up looking prom or pageanty, but everyone is right. It's her gown, and it wouldn't be fair to try and get her to wear something because I feel like it looks more bridal. if she feels like a bride in a canary yellow dress, so be it! Thanks!
I'm sure there are shades of yellow that would look terrific on your friend - and a soft, "more bridal" yellow might not be one of them. As others have said, the key is to try the colors and see the on IRL. I also wouldn't worry about her blending into the crowd. Whether she's wearing a yellow bridal gown, prom dress, or pageant gown, it will be obvious that she is the star of the show.

One way you can be very helpful is to help her be realistic about the time it might take to find the yellow dress of her dreams. help her stick to a schedule that allows plenty of time, and that allows for having a dress made if possible.

(BTW brazen irish hussy wore a green dress that was just divine... and that looked perfect on her!)

ETA link to pics of BIH's dress: [URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/show-me-yours-and-i%E2%80%99ll-show-you-mine-colored-wedding-dresses.84638/']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/show-me-yours-and-i%E2%80%99ll-show-you-mine-colored-wedding-dresses.84638/[/URL]
 

Nomsdeplume

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 23, 2009
Messages
1,671
I really don't understand what your issue is. If she wants to wear a colored dress in a bright shade, why the heck can't she? Is it going to offend or hurt anyone? It's HER day. Let her wear what she feels beautiful in.
My sister wore a yellow wedding dress (not "buttery" yellow either) and she looked gorgeous. I was her MOH and even though I would not choose a yellow dress for my wedding (yellow is not my color, I would prefer blue), I supported her because it was about what would make her happy on her wedding day.
Think about the consequences of your actions. Don't lose a friend over something so petty.
 

Indylady

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 28, 2008
Messages
5,574
I agree with the others--let your friend wear what she wants.
 

Pandora II

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 3, 2006
Messages
9,613
In Elizabethan times yellow was the usual colour for wedding dresses.

My dress was a modern twist on Tudor and had a metallic gold quilted underskirt, so I'm all in favour of colour in dresses!

Below are a picture of my dress and a close up of the gold fabric (it was much brighter yellow in person). Underneath are some of the pictures that I used as inspiration. This website also has some very unusual but gorgeous dresses: http://www.rossetti.vispa.com/16th-century-renaissance.html

I strongly recommend against dyeing lace unless it is a natural fibre. Synthetics like nylon or polyester (which a lot of lace is) won't take dye - they need to be coloured when the yarn is being made and it will come out very blotchy. Unless you know exactly what you are doing steer well clear of DIY dyeing. I dyed the fabric for my bridesmaids dresses but they were in cotton and I have a degree in Textile & Fashion Design so dyeing was something I know how to do - even so I wouldn't tackle a wedding-dress

pandora dress gold.jpg

pandfabric81.jpg

elizabethdressyellow.jpg

tumblr_ljo9yb7DSx1qz7ento1_500.jpg
 
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