My cat is sick, and I'm not sure what to do...

[Calliecake]

CMD, I'm so sorry. I know how hard this is for you. Please be kind to yourself and know you gave your baby a wonderful life. Hugs

 

[baby nurse]

I'm so sorry for your heart wrenching loss, cmd .

 

[smitcompton]

Hi,
CMD, so sorry for your loss. I know how much it must hurt.

Annette

 

[DAF]

Hi,
CMD, so sorry for your loss. I know how much it must hurt.

Annette

So very sorry for your loss. I lost my dear MacKenzie last Sunday due to lymphoma. Multiple masses near her heart, one wrapped around her facial nerves to give her vertigo, hearing loss and unilateral facial paresis. The masses were discovered a month and a half ago when the Horner's Syndrome first surfaced. We kept up her routine and made modifications util she told us it was time to go. Her body temperature dropped nine degrees. She was 18 years, six months and seven days old.

I've lost her parents and siblings, too. It never gets easier. Rest with the comfort that you did what you could to help him.

 

[CJ2008]

sad

I am so sorry to hear about Max.

 

[elle_71125]

I'm so sorry. Things had really been looking up. This was unexpected. Again, I'm so so sorry.

 

[AdaBeta27]

I'm sorry you lost Max.

 

[stracci2000]

I'm very sorry to hear this! He was a handsome kitty who had a great life with you.

 

[foxinsox]

I'm sorry for your loss - I lost my grumpy girl Lily a couple of months ago - we'd been managing her quality of life with end stage lung cancer until she told us it was time to go. It still hurts even when you know you've done the right thing.
You gave your Max a wonderful life and a humane death when he was ready to go. Thank you for looking after him so well

 

[PattyCo]

 

[pearlsngems]

So sorry to read of your loss.
Max was a beautiful cat!

 

[missy]

I am so sorry about Max. You gave him a wonderful life. (((Hugs))).

 

[ecf8503]

Oh no... so sorry to hear about Max.

 

[OreoRosies86]

I'm so sorry, that is devastating.

 

[cmd2014]

I've come to believe that it doesn't hurt less whether you know it's coming or not. I've been through this three times now (Max was my third cat), and deciding to end a beloved pet's life is always traumatic and riddled with guilt. We promise to love them and care for them, and to make everything better, and deciding to euthanize them feels like such a betrayal no matter how justified. But I would have liked to have done things differently had I had even an inkling in Max's case that this wasn't just a flare up of his IBS that was going to pass. I feel like I was robbed of a proper goodbye as he went from tired and me being mildly worried about him on Saturday morning to him being in crisis by the time I got home Saturday evening (we were out for most of the day which I would NOT have done had I realized what was happening). Then he was whisked away by the vet when it became clear how serious things were, and then he was gone.

I feel horribly guilty about not being able to spoil him one last time. The last backyard outing he had I sprayed him with the hose and put him inside (with him dripping wet and sassing me the whole way) because he was spraying on my hydrangeas behind the outdoor couch (a new habit that he had developed over the past few weeks - and one that he took great delight in doing; he was undeterred by the hose too, as he never had any issue with being wet). He and I had also done our usual dance of him hopping up and laying on my desk while I was working from home late last week and me putting him down and eventually kicking him out of the office (again, with him sassing me) because the rule has always been that he has to be good and lay in his cat bed or at the floor by my feet or he can't stay, as he had a habit of pushing all of my paperwork off the desk to make room for himself - not to mention the paw on my keyboard and the chewing of my medic alert bracelet as I tried to type. My husband had wanted to give him kitty treats to convince him to eat a bit more when he went off his food (or to bribe him with fancy feast), but I insisted on holding the line because the vet had emphasized the need to keep him strictly on the hypoallergenic food in order to get him well again. I also took a hard line about not giving him his normal share of deli meat when making sandwiches for lunch or samples of whatever food I had cooked for dinner - turning a hard heart to his little paw up on the cutting board trying to steal some for himself. I would have done all of those things differently had I known.

I am trying to remind myself of how much he was loved, of how spoiled he was on a day-to-day basis, of all of our little rituals (including the desk game and the similar game he would play in the bedroom at night that would eventually get him hoofed out around midnight for sitting on my head - purring the whole way because he was in on the joke, and his dining room table game that would see him put into the bedroom most nights until we were finished dinner unless he accepted that he had to either stay on a chair beside me or at my feet rather than rolling on his back smack dab in the middle of the table - and that, no, biting me on the butt is NOT an acceptable means to hurry me up so I'd assume the cuddle position on the couch after dinner per our routine), of all the cuddles and attention he was given (because food and undivided attention were all he really wanted in life), and how people would joke when they came over that he had us trained and not the other way around. I am trying not to let the end get in the way of celebrating his life. But it's hard. That and I miss him something fierce. He was a character - he was loud and often terribly misbehaved, but his mischievous streak made me love him all the more. The house feels empty without him there.

 

[NOYFB]

Oh CMD, I'm so sorry to hear about Max. sad I know your heart is breaking. Please know that our thoughts are with you and always remember that you gave him a beautiful life full of love.

 

[carbonfan]

I am so, so sorry, CMD... it is such a heartbreaking experience to go through and I agree that it doesn't hurt any less when you know it's coming. Last summer we had to let our 15-year old orange tabby go and it was a complete blindside. It was the ultimate gut-punch and I was a wreck for quite a while as Crash had been my buddy through so many, many chapters of life and he was so sweet, such a love and a cuddlebug. He had intestinal issues as well and had been on low-dose prednisolone for more than half of his life, and I would have done anything to have another day or two with him. Then shortly after that we had to let our 11-year old Swissy go, and even though we had been watching him go through a progressively downward spiral for about 6 months and the vet had even tried to prepare us that this eventuality was coming. Even with that knowledge it was gut-wrenching as well... a very rough summer. So although each person experiences this type of loss in their own way, I can certainly identify with what you are going through and I am so, so sorry. ((Hugs))

I hope you can take comfort in knowing that you did everything possible for Max and that you gave him such a happy, fulfilled life. He could not has asked for a more loving or conscientious owner... all animals should be so fortunate! And in time I hope that the memories he gave you will be a comfort to you (although I know they hurt right now). It took a while for me to heal, and I ended up adopting another orange kitty, who is very different than my sweet Crash, yet very precious to me in his own way. I have had pets all of my life and I suspect I always will. Once pets enter our hearts they never really leave, and I feel like each one enriched my life in a unique way and will always be a part of me. So that is my wish for you as well, that you will take all of the wonderful memories with you and that in time they will bring a smile to your face. But I know it takes a while. In the meantime, sending hugs!

 

[sarahb]

I came to check up on Max & how things were, I am so sorry for your loss. Nothing can replace the love in a home that a pet gives--my heart goes out to you & family!

 

[azstonie]

I'm so sorry. Max was loved and cherished by you, and he loved and cherished all of you too.

 

[mochiko42]

cmd, I am so sorry for your loss!! It is always heartbreaking to lose a furbaby. It sounds like Max was well loved and loved in return. I have a ginger tabby too and know how loving and full of character they can be.

 

[cmd2014]

Thanks everyone. I am still unbelievably sad, but doing better today. Having to let people know IRL has been hard but comforting, as so many people have been in our home over the years and have been sharing in our loss. I know I did everything I could, that he was loved and that he had a good life with us, and that although losing him suddenly was hard on me and DH, I would not have wanted him to suffer a slow decline. I'm grateful he was happy and active right up until the very end.

I'm planning to donate the rest of his hypoallergenic food to a no-kill shelter in the hope that it will help someone with a sensitive tummy feel better (we had just bought a new case of wet food and a huge bag of dry - I know I can return the unopened cans for a refund, but donating them would feel better). I doubt the humane society (where we got him all those years ago) would have a use for it - but if someone thinks different, let me know. Maybe I'll call them and see.

 

[Queenie60]

I'm sorry for the loss of your lovely baby. Take care

 

[LaylaR]

Oh no cmd. I am so sorry for your loss. ((HUGS)) Of course you are heartbroken. We had something similar happen with one of our German Shepards where one morning he was lethargic and off, and then the vet found internal hemorrhaging from a type of cancer and we had to put him to sleep immediately. My head and emotions were spinning for days afterward. I imagine yours are too. It is really hard. If you need to reach out, please do.

 

[MJ_Mac]

cmd2014 - I am so sorry for the loss of your precious furbaby. I haven't been on PS very much lately, just pop in once in a while to see what is new and I saw your post. Please don't feel guilty about Max's last days. You do what you do in the moment and hope it's for the best. Everything we do for our precious pets we do out of love. I went through something similar with our late dog. I initially felt bad for leaving her at the vet for 2 days and nights hooked up to an IV when it ultimately didn't prolong her life. I quickly pushed that guilt out of my head because I did what I thought was best for her at the time. That's all we can do as pet parents.

I think you and I are in the same city. If so, I know the one non kill shelter (on avenue that starts with P) will take anything and everything. We gave them our dog's medicine, food and toys. I also give them old blankets and towels. They get lots of animals (mostly dogs) from up north and are always in need. I was like you, I could have returned food to the vet but I feel better knowing it's going to use.

Please take care!

 

[cmd2014]

Poodles4me, that's good to know (and I know which shelter you mean). I popped into the humane society today and they said they'd be grateful for the food, but they weren't keen on anything that might have been used. I have a huge amount of leftover medicine (I just refilled a couple days before Max passed), so maybe someone there can get some use from that too. I'm not ready to make any decisions about his bed or toys yet. And my husband cried when I said we had to throw out his last dish of wet food as it was getting stinky, so I know he's not ready to move forward on those things yet either. And you're right. I made decisions based on what I knew and didn't know at the time. You only know what you know and you do the best you can.

LaylaR, that's exactly what happened to us, and I'm still trying to wrap my head around it. I have to admit a part of me selfishly wanted to transfuse him just so I'd have some time to say goodbye but I knew that would only have been for me and not him. I still catch myself thinking it though. You'd give anything for just one more day.

And I have so appreciated everyone who has shared their stories with me. For those of you who have walked this path along side me, I am sorry for all of your losses. I have been comforted more than you can know by everyone here.

 

[LaylaR]

cmd, that's exactly it. Jett loved fried chicken. We never gave it to him, he would find a way to get into the trash to get at the chicken bones. I would have given thousands just to have one more day and buy him a bucket all to himself. But it would have been for me, not him. You did the right thing. It's not a huge comfort right now, I know. But it is the truth.

((HUGS)) and more ((HUGS))