Here''s the thing and this is partly (if not all) my mother''s fault and my fault.
When my father passed away, my mother started receiving VA benefits (he was in the army). She would get a check in her name and then three checks in her name but for myself and my brothers. My mom never spent "our" money. Instead she put all of the money into a savings account and on our 18th birthday, handed the account over. The account is not our account. It is her account and we are a joint owner. So, if we overdraft on that account it not only affects us but it also affects her and much more so as you would imagine.
Ok, so my youngest brother was given only about 10% of the money when he turned 18 because he wasn''t starting school until January. The remainder of the money she moved into another account. I fought with my mother and told her not to give him anything at all until he started school but he fought back saying it wasn''t fair. Fine. Between June and December he spent all of the money in the account. Every single penny. He didn''t spend it on school stuff (he was taking one class in community college) because that was all paid for through grants and whatnot. He spent it on clothes, electronics, and taking his girlfriend and all of his friends out to eat.
So he started the year off with no money. My mom cut him off. She did so because he wasn''t being responsible and also because he needs eye surgery and is going to use that money to have it done. I gave him about $400, my other brother has given him $250, and my mom has given him $500. He moved in on January 4. So in 22 days he spent over $1k. And on top of that, my mom just checked his account and he has over $300 in overdraft fees because he''s spending money that he does not have. On what??? He has financial aid. He doesn''t have a car to get anywhere. We left him with plenty of groceries. His books were paid for through financial aid. So was his housing. I don''t understand where the money is going. I even had to ask my other brother if he was using drugs or something because I just don''t get where the money is going.
So now my mom is taking his debit card away. He''s freaking out in school and saying he''s going to open up his own account for his financial aid money owed to him and also the VA money he''s getting now. I of course am in the middle of all of this because they all call me to vent. And I have to take my mom''s side on this. At the same time I don''t want her to cancel his card because if he does open another account, he''ll use the money on who knows what and if there are school fees that come up he won''t have any money for it.
Ugh. I know this is our fault for making it too easy for him but I seriously don''t know what to do. I''m so stressed. Part of me wants him to suffer without having any money for food or anything but I can''t let him starve, you know.
Oh and get this...he tried to sell my car to his friend. My car. I have an old 97 Chevy that died on me and I had towed to my mom''s house who has a mechanic friend that fixed it enough to drive locally. So I let my brother use it while I paid insurance. Today his friend calls me to ask about title transfer. Um, excuse me?? And I told him that wasn''t my brother''s car to sell so thanks but no thanks. WTF??
When my father passed away, my mother started receiving VA benefits (he was in the army). She would get a check in her name and then three checks in her name but for myself and my brothers. My mom never spent "our" money. Instead she put all of the money into a savings account and on our 18th birthday, handed the account over. The account is not our account. It is her account and we are a joint owner. So, if we overdraft on that account it not only affects us but it also affects her and much more so as you would imagine.
Ok, so my youngest brother was given only about 10% of the money when he turned 18 because he wasn''t starting school until January. The remainder of the money she moved into another account. I fought with my mother and told her not to give him anything at all until he started school but he fought back saying it wasn''t fair. Fine. Between June and December he spent all of the money in the account. Every single penny. He didn''t spend it on school stuff (he was taking one class in community college) because that was all paid for through grants and whatnot. He spent it on clothes, electronics, and taking his girlfriend and all of his friends out to eat.
So he started the year off with no money. My mom cut him off. She did so because he wasn''t being responsible and also because he needs eye surgery and is going to use that money to have it done. I gave him about $400, my other brother has given him $250, and my mom has given him $500. He moved in on January 4. So in 22 days he spent over $1k. And on top of that, my mom just checked his account and he has over $300 in overdraft fees because he''s spending money that he does not have. On what??? He has financial aid. He doesn''t have a car to get anywhere. We left him with plenty of groceries. His books were paid for through financial aid. So was his housing. I don''t understand where the money is going. I even had to ask my other brother if he was using drugs or something because I just don''t get where the money is going.
So now my mom is taking his debit card away. He''s freaking out in school and saying he''s going to open up his own account for his financial aid money owed to him and also the VA money he''s getting now. I of course am in the middle of all of this because they all call me to vent. And I have to take my mom''s side on this. At the same time I don''t want her to cancel his card because if he does open another account, he''ll use the money on who knows what and if there are school fees that come up he won''t have any money for it.
Ugh. I know this is our fault for making it too easy for him but I seriously don''t know what to do. I''m so stressed. Part of me wants him to suffer without having any money for food or anything but I can''t let him starve, you know.
Oh and get this...he tried to sell my car to his friend. My car. I have an old 97 Chevy that died on me and I had towed to my mom''s house who has a mechanic friend that fixed it enough to drive locally. So I let my brother use it while I paid insurance. Today his friend calls me to ask about title transfer. Um, excuse me?? And I told him that wasn''t my brother''s car to sell so thanks but no thanks. WTF??