Mother-in-law said this looks like a dinner ring

[wen104]

I love your ring and remember when you posted it before. I think you should just blow it off and blame it on her old age!

Maybe is has lost some vision and cannot see it. Ya know the glowing color coming off the ring might have blinded her

 

[marcy]

I didn''t have time to write this last night when I posted here but I wanted to tell you my MIL / grandmother-in-law story.

We upgraded our wedding rings in the summer of ''06. I bought a F VS1 1/2 ct ideal cut RB solitaire and new wedding rings. I picked the diamond and ring I wanted and didn''t just settle for something just because it was in a certain price range. DH''s grandma is always checking to see if I have new jewelry - she has actually commented more than once I spend all of her grandson''s money on jewelry. So we are at dinner with the family and she spies my new wedding ring. She grabs my hand, comments that I have a new wedding ring and says "maybe you can get something bigger next time". Then my MIL says "we couldn''t afford anything nice until we''d been married 25 years." Grandma''s wedding ring is a 3 plus ct cluster ring that is full of cloudy and included diamonds. My MIL has a 2 ct. solitaire that was picked for size not quality. I just smiled and said; well I love my ring. Got to love those inlaws, eh?

 

[sera]

Date: 12/28/2007 12:06:04 AM
Author: Haven
I think you reset is beautiful, and it definitely does not look like a dinner ring. Wear your gorgeous ring with pride, littedebbie, I know I would!


When I think of 'dinner ring' I think of something like this:

PSH! That is not a dinner ring. I'm with Haven; dinner rings are "clustered" stones.

Even if it was a dinner ring but you loved it- SO.WHAT. -it's not her ring. It's yours and you love it, that's what counts!

 

[Anastasia]

Date: 12/28/2007 6:49:39 AM
Author: susi
littledebbie, being as your MIL is a fabulous lady, she did make, in my opinion one error when she said '', ''Why? That ring is already too big. I like smaller rings.''

HER likes are not the question here.....yours are.

As for looking like an engagement ring, if one reads any history of e-rings, one will see that that have come in all shapes and designs. The one you''ve chosen is lovely to you and that''s ALL that''s important.

All that said, I think it''s absolutely beautiful!

Susi put my thoughts perfectly into words.

Who the heck cares that she likes smaller rings? You''re not asking her to wear it.

It is a beautiful ring, and in no way resembles a dinner ring.

I can relate to the mil issues. I''m convinced that the filter between my mother in laws brain and her mouth has been removed. The things that she comes out with amaze me sometimes.

Please note that I am attending the third holiday event since Christmas Eve with the in laws tonight, so you hit a nerve with mil comments!

Try to forget what she said and enjoy that beautiful ring!

 

[Linda W]

Your ring is absolutely gorgeous. Wish those mother-in-laws would mind their own business.(mine included) HA!!!

Linda

 

[metro]

Date: 12/28/2007 2:18:50 PM
Author: marcyc
I didn''t have time to write this last night when I posted here but I wanted to tell you my MIL / grandmother-in-law story.

We upgraded our wedding rings in the summer of ''06. I bought a F VS1 1/2 ct ideal cut RB solitaire and new wedding rings. I picked the diamond and ring I wanted and didn''t just settle for something just because it was in a certain price range. DH''s grandma is always checking to see if I have new jewelry - she has actually commented more than once I spend all of her grandson''s money on jewelry. So we are at dinner with the family and she spies my new wedding ring. She grabs my hand, comments that I have a new wedding ring and says ''maybe you can get something bigger next time''. Then my MIL says ''we couldn''t afford anything nice until we''d been married 25 years.'' Grandma''s wedding ring is a 3 plus ct cluster ring that is full of cloudy and included diamonds. My MIL has a 2 ct. solitaire that was picked for size not quality. I just smiled and said; well I love my ring. Got to love those inlaws, eh?

I think we have the same MIL, Marcyc! This exact conversation has taken place btwn my MIL and I. She does this to me about EVERYTHING!!! She''s always checking out my jewelry and commenting on how I spend my DH money....WHATEVER! She''s done this with our wedding, honeymoon, child, house - you name me!

 

[marcy]

Date: 12/28/2007 6:52:26 PM
Author: metro

I think we have the same MIL, Marcyc! This exact conversation has taken place btwn my MIL and I. She does this to me about EVERYTHING!!! She''s always checking out my jewelry and commenting on how I spend my DH money....WHATEVER! She''s done this with our wedding, honeymoon, child, house - you name me!

Metro, I''m sure we aren''t alone in this. Sorry to hear you have that problem with everything.

 

[Lynn B]

*P-tooey!* on your MIL!

She sounds exactly like mine, and honestly, she probably isn''t gonna change -- OR -- go away, so just learn to blow her off and ignore her now!!! You''ll save yourself a LOT of agony!

Oh, almost forgot -- GORGEOUS RING! I LOVE IT!!!

 

[captainobvious]

What a terribly thoughtless, ignorant, and inconsiderate thing to say to your daughter-in-law. Reminded me of that movie "moster-in-law"

Thank goodness my mother realizes the important things have nothing to do with rings, and everything to do with my gorgeous fiance and her happiness, as well as mine.

 

[iheartscience]

Um, so not a dinner ring. Your ring is GORGEOUS. I''m off to find a post of yours with more pictures of it right now!

 

[mandyk77]

Your mother in law is prob jealous that she doesn''t have a nice large diamond e-ring. With the way she acts I am guessing her husband doesn''t have much of a reason to give her a nice upgrade!

Your ring is nice, don''t worry about her!

 

[mara54]

I love the style of your ring. If you and your husband love it, then that is what counts. Wear it in good health and love within.

Is there more pictures and where, I want to see more of this beauty!!

 

[Kaleigh]

Dinner ring?? No way, looks like a vintage ering to me, and a very lovely one at that!!!!

 

[littledebbie]

Hello! I've had to wait until MIL went to bed to be able to post again! Marcyc, Anastasia, Metro, LynnB: Sorry to hear that I'm not the only one w/ MIL issues (it's comforting to know though!). Metro, thank you so much for your compliments on my ring. Knowing that your husband liked it really made me feel good! (I know how most guys are when it comes to jewelry!)

Sparkles: Yes, your MIL thread sounds like it could be therapeutic and entertaining for a lot of us!

She actually does have a few good qualities, but this jewelry thing is really just the tip of the iceberg w/ her, if you can imagine. Another comment from her threw me over the edge this afternoon and I told DH that we had to move to the other coast because I can't take being around her. We currently live about 4 hrs. away. DH laughed and loved that I was all huffy and "feisty" and it wasn't directed at him! (Of course MIL had no idea I was so mad, as I had to nonchalantly call DH into our bedroom to vent.)

Thanks so much for all the compliments on my ring. Here's a link to more photos:

link

I have to do something somewhat mortifying tomorrow thanks to my MIL. Ugh! I am not looking forward to it!

Part of me cringes because I have 3 boys and someday I'll be the MIL. But I just can't imagine behaving like mine does.

All of your words of encouragement, opinions on my ring NOT being a dinner ring, and commiseration has really helped me. Thank you so much!

 

[diamondfan]

LD, I too have three sons and feel that all things in life have a point. My mother in law''s is to show me how NOT to be as a mother in law.

Her view is not of utmost importance. She is certainly entitled to her opinion, but a filter on her mouth might be nice. I told my hubby that just because it was on her MIND did not mean it needed to come out of her MOUTH.

I have been married over 17 years and trust me my MIL is totally horrendous and jealous and never ceases to try to spoil things. Thankfully we moved to the east coast from L.A. and she is really out of our loop. I certainly never tell her things. When we lived in L.A. one of her dear friends was a jeweler we used on occasion and we learned that was a huge mistake. Nothing was secret though I know the friend was not telling things to make trouble. It just always started that nasty conversation about my wants and her son''s money. I realize she grew up during WW II and thus has vastly different views about money and material things. We will never see eye to eye, but as long as she is not paying my bills she can think what she wants. When her comments get particularly rude I do say that to her. I am not shy about saying, "What is the point of a remark like that?" Being able to nod and smile, and change the subject, is vital. I do not understand MIL''s who are not nice to their DIL''s or try to antagonize them...they lose out in the end. Whatever you do in the future your ring is lovely and most certainly looks like an ering to ME.

 

[kingbling87]

I love it!!!

 

[marcy]

LD, I hope your day wasn''t too mortifying. There is NO way you''ll be like your MIL to your DIL.

Your ring is gorgeous! Wear it proudly and be sure to talk with your hands A LOT when you are around your MIL.

Oh, who typed that in my post? Tee hee.

 

[iluvchoc]

Your ring looks very beautiful and unique! As long as you''re happy with it then I wouldn''t let MIL''s comments bug you too much.

 

[sandia_rose]

Date: 12/28/2007 2:52:14 AM
Author: door knob solitaire
I absolutely love your ring, your mother in law not so much

I mean I don''t wish her to stub her toe...just not lovey dovey over her!

I was thinking that myself! WHAT a rude comment on your MIL''s part! Your ring looks like a gorgeous vintage engagement ring. That style was really popular in the Edwardian-going-into-Deco period. When I think of dinner rings, I think of those huge obscene cluster rings that old rich ladies wear....and yours is nowhere near that AT ALL!

It amazes me sometimes, in this day and age, some of the off-base comments people have. ANY type of ring can be an engagement ring, not just diamonds. My little brother bought his fiancee an emerald because she''s not a diamond kind of girl (and if you''ve ever priced fine emeralds, they can cost more than diamonds of the same size). Lady Di and Fergie had a sapphire w/ a halo and a Burma ruby. And a woman that I know who is a pediatric nurse chose a channel eternity band, because she wouldn''t have to take it off and it wouldn''t scratch her child patients or tear her gloves. And if you want to get outside of rings entirely, a woman in several of my college classes (I was an art student) went away from rings entirely. She kind of reminded me of Amy Winehouse in how she looked/dressed (but picture someone sane and without substance issues). She was a very non-material type of woman - didn''t wear jewelery or make-up outside of black eyeliner - and she and her fiancee designed engagement tattoos for each other. Tattoos are permanent -- but so should marriage be....and 18 years and 2 kids later, they''re still married...and still arty, individualistic people. The symbol of your relationship should be personal and relevant TO YOU. To heck what anyone else thinks/says.

Wear that gorgeous ring with pride, and as another poster wrote, flash your MIL a couple extra hand waves! I''m kind of jealous...I wouldn''t mind a ring like yours!

Bridget in Connecticut.

 

[LitigatorChick]

Your MIL sounds like mine - ignore her comments and listen to those that matter: people on PS!!!

 

[HollyS]

Date: 12/27/2007 11:42:26 PM
Author:littledebbie
My husband''s parents are visiting for the holidays and my mother-in-law commented that my recently re-set ring doesn''t look like an engagement ring or a wedding ring, but a dinner ring. What do you guys think? There''s a whole long story that goes along with this, but I''ll tell you the rest after I get some opinions. I bought the ring intending to eventually switch it to my right ring finger, so I wanted something that wouldn''t look like an engagement ring on my right hand when I do make the switch.

Jealousy, perhaps? ''Cause your ring is spectacular! Don''t give it another thought; she''s wrong.

 

[LaurenThePartier]

Your MIL couldn''t be more wrong! It''s a gorgeous ring, very antique looking and classic.

It sounds as if she''s jealous, as would I be if my DIL had such a gorgeous piece!

 

[Fly Girl]

Threads like this one remind me to give thanks once again for being blessed with a lovely, gracious MIL.

Now, my SIL is another story. I limit my exposure to her, and consider the source when it comes to nasty remarks. So, who do you believe, your MIL or us?

Good luck.

 

[tberube]

well whatever you call it, it''s gorgeous..

 

[Tacori E-ring]

It is beautiful! Ignore her, she is wrong.

 

[littledebbie]

MIL left yesterday.

Diamondfan: Great way to look at it, that our MILs (yours and mine--not the whole worlds, as I''m sure there are some wonderful MILs out there) are showing us how not to be when we become MILs. That is SO true. She has botched it from the very beginning with me. And it was hard to recover from the initial hurt. But she keeps going. She TOTALLY blew it w/ one of her son-in-laws. Suggested he might be a serial killer before she even met him (and he is a perfectly nice, normal guy). He avoids her at all costs now and the whole family really.

Sandia Rose: That was such a nice post you made about how people have a variety of wedding and engagement rings now days.

LitagatorChick and FlyGirl: I believe you PSers of course!--no way is it a dinner ring!

 

[NeverEndingUpgrade]

Your mother-in-law is jealous because your ring is drop-dead gorgeous, but she is not well-mannered enough to say that! Your ring is so versatile because it is good as either an e-ring or right hand ring, and is so elegant and classic, yet not run-of-the-mill.

Don''t feel intimidated by her comments. Jealous people say lots of stupid things. BTW, do you mind sharing who made your setting?

 

[littledebbie]

Thanks for the compliments on my ring! I don''t know who made it. I bought it at a local B&M that sells some estate pieces and some new. It is an antique platinum setting that dates around the 1920s (according to the appraiser).

 

[Shay37]

I really, really love your ring. I totally GET it. I understand why you chose it. It''s not too e-ringy but yet it''s definitely obvious that''s what it is if worn in that spot. Makes sense to me. Loving that whole when he gets me the next bigger one too. [

things that make you go hmmmm. MIL with attitude problems. Mine ruined Christmas Eve by being the totally passive-aggressive witch that only she can be.

In the midst of the comments and the we never did it that way that my SIL and I had to listen to about our fish dinner (at SILs house), my MIL says to me, "Wow, your hair looks awfully grey tonight. Didn''t you just have it done? It may be time again."

Her daughter had spent three days preparing to host this dinner and all day cooking her part of it. It was wonderful. MIL just has to find a way to ruin Christmas Eve every year. Last year she was 45 minutes late to a sit-down fish dinner. When called on it, she said, "Class comes late."

I have just learned that when it comes to matters of MIL''s nasty opinion about something that you own or are looking forward to that I just have one response to her: Oh, I''m sorry. Is this about you again? And why is everything always about you? The last time I told her that she said, "Don''t you get smart with me." I cannot even express the language my DH used about that one. She''s being hateful. I defend myself (rightfully so), and I''m being smart.

Try killing her with kindness since most other weapons would be way too much fun and also illegal.

shay

 

[steph72276]

I really like it. Maybe your mother-in-law is just jealous because she doesn''t have such a lovely ring