Wedding Money Dance?

[museikchik]

How many of you ladies are doing a "money dance" at your wedding? I was talking to my fiance about it and we decided not to have one. Most of our guests are coming from out of town. Because they are already buying a wedding gift, we think it would be kind of messed up to expect them to shell out more money on top of all the other expenses they have. Does anybody else agree with me or am I being totally weird about this?

 

[doodle]

i''d never even heard of a money dance until reading a thread on this forum--nobody around here does them (i live in the se us) and would likely be offended if one were to take place. i''ve been to dozens of weddings and have never seen one. i''m sure guests will be more than happy to hang onto that extra cash, so go with your gut!

 

[bee*]

I''d never heard of them either until PS. This isn''t done in Ireland so I won''t be doing it either. I think that people pay so much attending weddings as it is that it seems a bit much to be asking for more. Unless it''s tradition/custom where you live, I wouldn''t do it.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

If you do a search you will find many heated threads on this issue.

 

[museikchik]

Date: 11/22/2008 10:33:38 AM
Author: Tacori E-ring
If you do a search you will find many heated threads on this issue.

I didn''t even realize people get heated over this stuff. Thanks for the heads up.

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 11/22/2008 3:46:08 PM
Author: museikchik

Date: 11/22/2008 10:33:38 AM

Author: Tacori E-ring

If you do a search you will find many heated threads on this issue.

I didn''t even realize people get heated over this stuff. Thanks for the heads up.

Oh yes...if it isn''t a cultural tradition I say it is tacky tacky tacky. I say you are right on the money not having one.

 

[kelpie]

It seems to be a normal tradition in the Philippino culture, but I think it is very tacky unless it''s something all the guests expect because it''s part of their cultural tradition.

 

[Haven]

EEEEW to the money dance.

Unless it''s a cultural tradition, in which case I find it charming. (My dear friend is Phillippino and had one at her wedding.)

 

[emeraldlover1]

I had to go back and look up old posts because I''ve never heard of this before. I agree that you are making the right decision by not having one. I read in one of the posts that its Polish tradition. One side of my family is of polish decent and I hope they aren''t expecting this. My fiance would freak out. He''s already freaking out about being the center of attention at the wedding to begin with.

 

[Ashleigh310]

My family is half Polish, so they''re done at every wedding. I won''t be doing one at my wedding though. My FH''s family is from SE US, where dollar dances are unheard of or considered to be poor taste.

 

[museikchik]

Date: 11/22/2008 8:17:15 PM
Author: emeraldlover1
I had to go back and look up old posts because I''ve never heard of this before. I agree that you are making the right decision by not having one. I read in one of the posts that its Polish tradition. One side of my family is of polish decent and I hope they aren''t expecting this. My fiance would freak out. He''s already freaking out about being the center of attention at the wedding to begin with.

Emeraldlover1: I am with your FI on that one. I am not used to being the center of attention at all. My main purpose in life is not to be the center of attention so I have no idea how I am going to handle it.

Thank you for your responses everyone, at least I know I am not violating some kind of social norm if we don''t have a money dance.

 

[Rhea]

Could someone tell me where they the dollar dances might be more common the US? I grew up in the SE and that was the only time I ever saw them at wedding so I assumed they were a Southern thing. Maybe either the bride or groom were imports to that area and I just didn''t realise it.

 

[jstarfireb]

Date: 11/23/2008 1:53:53 PM
Author: Addy
Could someone tell me where they the dollar dances might be more common the US? I grew up in the SE and that was the only time I ever saw them at wedding so I assumed they were a Southern thing. Maybe either the bride or groom were imports to that area and I just didn''t realise it.

I''m getting married in Central PA, and apparently the dollar dance is a BIG thing here. I really don''t want to do one, but my mom is insisting and calling it a "family tradition." There is a large population of Polish descent in Central PA including my mom''s side of the family, and they play a particular slow polka song during the dance. My mom also mentioned that it''s not usually called the "dollar dance," but rather the "dance with the bride," even when money is involved. So I''ll probably end up doing the dollar dance without the dollars.

 

[PrincessMiaPuff]

Date: 11/23/2008 4:01:38 PM
Author: jstarfireb

Date: 11/23/2008 1:53:53 PM

Author: Addy

Could someone tell me where they the dollar dances might be more common the US? I grew up in the SE and that was the only time I ever saw them at wedding so I assumed they were a Southern thing. Maybe either the bride or groom were imports to that area and I just didn''t realise it.

I''m getting married in Central PA, and apparently the dollar dance is a BIG thing here. I really don''t want to do one, but my mom is insisting and calling it a ''family tradition.'' There is a large population of Polish descent in Central PA including my mom''s side of the family, and they play a particular slow polka song during the dance. My mom also mentioned that it''s not usually called the ''dollar dance,'' but rather the ''dance with the bride,'' even when money is involved. So I''ll probably end up doing the dollar dance without the dollars.

I am also getting married in central pa!!!!! almost every wedding we went to had one.

 

[Clio]

Date: 11/23/2008 1:53:53 PM
Author: Addy
Could someone tell me where they the dollar dances might be more common the US? I grew up in the SE and that was the only time I ever saw them at wedding so I assumed they were a Southern thing. Maybe either the bride or groom were imports to that area and I just didn''t realise it.

Addy, I''ve attended tons of weddings in Louisiana, Mississippi, and Alabama, and I''ve never seen one, so I''m pretty sure it''s not a Southern thing. If I''m not mistaken, in general, it has more to do with specific ethnic groups than with regions of the country.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Date: 11/23/2008 7:01:37 PM
Author: Clio

Date: 11/23/2008 1:53:53 PM
Author: Addy
Could someone tell me where they the dollar dances might be more common the US? I grew up in the SE and that was the only time I ever saw them at wedding so I assumed they were a Southern thing. Maybe either the bride or groom were imports to that area and I just didn''t realise it.

Addy, I''ve attended tons of weddings in Louisiana, Mississippi, and Alabama, and I''ve never seen one, so I''m pretty sure it''s not a Southern thing. If I''m not mistaken, in general, it has more to do with specific ethnic groups than with regions of the country.

It is not a southern thing, definitely not.

 

[katamari]

I have been to several weddings that have had dollar dances. I see nothing wrong with them because you aren''t forcing anyone to do it. In fact, at all of the weddings I have been to that have one, it always ends before everyone in line has even had a chance to dance. I do believe it should be a cultural or regional tradition, though, because if your guests don''t even know what it is, it could be awkward. You are asking them to donate a couple bucks. Your guests can decide if they want to or if they aren''t into it.

 

[JSM]

My fiance is from Nebraska, and every one of the weddings I''ve been to with him (maybe a dozen, ranging from community center to swanky hall) have had this dance. People seem to expect it. It wasn''t common in my family growing up, but to each their own I guess!

 

[Rhea]

Date: 11/23/2008 8:59:45 PM
Author: diamondseeker2006

Date: 11/23/2008 7:01:37 PM

Author: Clio

Date: 11/23/2008 1:53:53 PM

Author: Addy

Could someone tell me where they the dollar dances might be more common the US? I grew up in the SE and that was the only time I ever saw them at wedding so I assumed they were a Southern thing. Maybe either the bride or groom were imports to that area and I just didn''t realise it.

Addy, I''ve attended tons of weddings in Louisiana, Mississippi, and Alabama, and I''ve never seen one, so I''m pretty sure it''s not a Southern thing. If I''m not mistaken, in general, it has more to do with specific ethnic groups than with regions of the country.

It is not a southern thing, definitely not.

I''ve been to three of four weddings in the South that had them. I should ask these couples where they are originally from. I haven''t been to many other wedding in other parts of the US, this is all news to me, I feel much more educated.

 

[GoingCrazy29]

I''m in Indiana and almost every wedding I''ve gone to they do the dollar dance. I never realized it would be considered tacky until PS because I''m just so used to it! I''ve never seen it be mandatory to donate, just if you want to dance with the bride or groom- give a dollar. Its fun and I''ve donated many $1 to dance with the groom.

 

[Cleopatra]

Money dances are extremely popular where I am. We had one at my wedding mainly because I''ve never been to a wedding that didn''t have one. People are never forced to dance with the bride and groom - it''s just a big mess of fun, in reality.

We had lines of people waiting to dance with us - Our guests had fun cutting in on people and even gave bigger bills to keep dancing - it was pure fun and nothing was done out of greed or tackiness.

We had people run at us with bills hours before the dance even started. It''s a fun tradition where I''m from and people sometimes forgo gifts and bring a large amount of cash to give to the couple during the money dance - it''s very common to do that in fact.

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 11/24/2008 1:57:30 PM
Author: Cleopatra
Money dances are extremely popular where I am. We had one at my wedding mainly because I''ve never been to a wedding that didn''t have one. People are never forced to dance with the bride and groom - it''s just a big mess of fun, in reality.


We had lines of people waiting to dance with us - Our guests had fun cutting in on people and even gave bigger bills to keep dancing - it was pure fun and nothing was done out of greed or tackiness.


We had people run at us with bills hours before the dance even started. It''s a fun tradition where I''m from and people sometimes forgo gifts and bring a large amount of cash to give to the couple during the money dance - it''s very common to do that in fact.

If it''s an expected tradition that totally makes sense that people would expect it and budget it into their gift. Otherwise though I have to say I still don''t get it!

 

[angielea]

I live in Iowa, and every single wedding I have been to has had one.

 

[laughwithme]

I''m a LIW but figured I would chime in. I''m in the Kansas City area and every single wedding I''ve been to has a dollar-dance. In fact, at the last wedding I went to, guests were walking around asking when the Dollar Dance would be because they were wanting to head out but wouldn''t do so until the dollar dance. My friend who got married in July ended up with $400 (at a wedding with 150ish people.) It is a big thing around here; everyone participates and she got many twenty-dollar bills.

 

[bensbride]

I was just at a wedding on Saturday and they had a money dance. It wasn''t a big deal. If you wanted to participate, you''d dig in your purse for a dollar. If not, you''d sit and sip on your cocktail. I had fun dancing with the groom and it was one of the only times in such a hectic day that I was able to talk to him. A few of my friends (women) decided they wanted to dance with the bride instead, so they got in her line. Anyway, I thought it was a nice time to tell him that I was so happy that he was marrying my dear friend and making her so happy.

 

[SeeShell]

I also grew up in central PA. I don''t think I''ve been to a wedding that didn''t have the dollar dance!

 

[Octavia]

Date: 11/24/2008 11:29:42 AM
Author: GoingCrazy29
I'm in Indiana and almost every wedding I've gone to they do the dollar dance. I never realized it would be considered tacky until PS because I'm just so used to it! I've never seen it be mandatory to donate, just if you want to dance with the bride or groom- give a dollar. Its fun and I've donated many $1 to dance with the groom.

I think the general consensus is that it's tacky if it's not a family/cultural/regional tradition for the bride or groom, and people are thinking of springing it on unsuspecting guests as a way to get a bit more money. If it's something you've grown up knowing about and everyone assumes it will happen at your wedding, that's not tacky, it's tradition. IMO, this is a situation where, if you have to ask whether it's something you can do or not, you probably shouldn't...because if you should, you already know it!