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Miss World Called Off the Wedding

diamondseeker2006|1336152004|3187601 said:
Good luck on your finals and very seriously, you need counseling after you move. A weekend counseling program with him is NUTS, I am sorry to say. Don't waste one more moment on him.
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Ditto. Couples counseling? After he cheated on you and impregnated a stripper? You need singles counseling. Why you are even considering staying with this man is beyond me.
 
Mary Grace, How are the finals going, hope you ace them girl. As for closure I would assume your done you turned into the hulk even with your injuries and in my eyes most important of all YOU refered to him as POS( I know you know what we do with those, you don't need a visual now do you? no need for conseling lol), hon honestly I think your done move on go home where you belong and don't look back. Stay strong and always keep your head held up high xo
 
Cluless|1336160395|3187693 said:
Mary Grace, How are the finals going, hope you ace them girl. As for closure I would assume your done you turned into the hulk even with your injuries and in my eyes most important of all YOU refered to him as POS( I know you know what we do with those, you don't need a visual now do you? no need for conseling lol), hon honestly I think your done move on go home where you belong and don't look back. Stay strong and always keep your head held up high xo
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well said cluless - I agree totally. Marygrace, you dodge a bullet... no... you dodged an AK47 bullet! and stay proud of that. Glad you are getting healthier, the week should have passed by now and I hope that you are on your way back to Chicago to be with the family and friends that are there for you at this time.
 
Gypsy said:
I'm in the "give the ring back" camp, btw. I don't really want to see you on Judge Judy having to explain what an a$$ this guy is in a year and then have to pay damages for tossing his property away. Just give it back to him, don't say anything about it other than "I believe this is yours". And walk away to a better life.
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ditto. I believe it technically is his until you get married as it is a symbol of your contract to marry. I would try to give it back. If he doesn't want it then sell it!
 
Just checking in on you MG. How are finals going? Have you made arrangements to head to Chicago yet? I hope so, for your sake. I know leaving is kind of final and very scary, but you know it's the right thing to do. Go and don't look back. Ever. Surround yourself with family and friends and soon enough, he will be a distant memory.
 
Though it was never as close to getting married as you were - I've dated men who behaved the same way as your ex. I am so sorry you have to go through this, but I do think you need to be told a few things.

1. They will never change. The part of them that leads them to hurt us WILL NOT CHANGE. as a disclaimer, it may change - for someone else, but never you. It's unfortunate, but it's the truth, and none of it has to do with you - it has everything to do with them.
2. When they manipulate you into thinking it's your fault, it's because in their weird and twisted world, it is. They don't see their acts as harmful, they only see yours. There is no reasoning with them.

3. my last and final point... as someone who knows, after trust is gone the relationship will never be the same on either end. Even if he does want to change - you will want to punish him, you will be spiteful and angry when he does nice things for you and always think about why he didn't treat you like this before. You will always remember, and so will he. Eventually you will both be so miserable you will end up in the same place you were. Don't you believe you deserve someone who doesn't remind you of such hurtful actions? Someone who will only bring joy?

I can honestly say that realizing these 3 main points has SAVED ME from some very destructive relationships (yes, pleural). It took 3 of them for me to realize the secrets above. After the last one it took me almost a year to realize I was stronger than I thought, and another year after that to finally allow someone in. I now realize what love really is as I'm with someone who I never thought had existed. I didn't realize they made men normal, I thought they were all flawed like my exes, I didn't realize how happy I could be just because I trusted someone and ACTUALLY believe he loves me.

Everything will work out, get away while you can, have time for yourself without any contact... and when you are at terms with everything BY YOURSELF then you can open to doors to communication. Me personally? Why would I want to continue to be in contact with someone who caused me such harm? Let him go, you deserve so much better.
 
Really nicely stated nicstx.
 
Agree. Well said nicstyx
 
Just wanted to send you lots of good luck on your finals and move, I wish you nothing but the best!
 
FINAL UPDATE:

My things are in storage. I will come back to get them when I am ready. I will stay with my cousin an her family in Chicago until I decide what to do next.

I took Incompletes in my classes. I'll finish them. I am not sure what to do about school. I have one semester left but I don't want to come back to this city. I had moved here for him. Eh, I'll figure something out.

I gave back the ring.

The dress was donated.

I am in individual therapy and will continue it in Chicago as well.

I'm going to lay low from diamond gawking for a while. It hurts because I am not getting married and I never thought I'd be cheated on by some POS and be gossiped about at my salon. I found out about the strippers, the matchmaking, the 22 year old, and who knows what else through 3rd parties. My sylist knew before me. I feel humiliated. It might take a long time to get past this.

On the bright side, I have my health. I am walking with a limp but I think by next week I will be 100% healed. I dropped 13 pounds for the now canceled wedding, and feel really great about my body.

Back to packing. Time for a new start. Thanks everyone!
 
Good luck marygrace!! You deserve so much better than what that POS was giving you and you are on the right path to finding it. You should be VERY proud of yourself!

I can't wait to see the 'I found a real man! What was i thinking before??" thread in a few years time. :bigsmile:

Good luck! :appl:
 
Good luck marygrace!! You deserve so much better than what that POS was giving you and you are on the right path to finding it. You should be VERY proud of yourself!

I can't wait to see the 'I found a real man! What on earth did I see in that last douche bag?' thread in a few years time. :bigsmile:

Good luck! :appl:
 
Wow! You GO, girl!

You've just shown what you're really made of - I predict that you're going to be just fine!
 
YOU are AWESOME!!
 
:appl: :appl: :appl:
 
You are doing great. Get out of there and when it hits you and you need to grieve (not for him but for the investment and the dreams of what might have been if he'd been who you thoughts he was at the start) be kind and patient with yourself. School will work out there.is time for that a little later. At my school you could finish at another institution that met certain standards. Maybe you can ask if that is an option and you can finish in Chicago.
 
Mary Grace.. I'm so proud of you... I have followed both threads with little comment but you have struggled to come to the best decision for you... a smart decision that was not easy.. a time for healing will put you in a better place and able to tackle the tasks left to complete but by all means take care of your heart, your health and your mental well being before everything else! Lots of hugs!
 
Mayk|1336473992|3189931 said:
Mary Grace.. I'm so proud of you... I have followed both threads with little comment but you have struggled to come to the best decision for you... a smart decision that was not easy.. a time for healing will put you in a better place and able to tackle the tasks left to complete but by all means take care of your heart, your health and your mental well being before everything else! Lots of hugs!
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Good for you, it may not feel like it right now, but this is the best decision you ever made. You are very strong and I give you real credit.

:appl: :appl: :appl:
 
Marygrace: You have come a long way since your first post about this situation. I am really amazed and encouraged at how you have taken back control of your life. Just continue to move forward, even if it's just a little bit everyday. Here's to much strength and determination from here on!!!! :wavey:
 
Mary Grace you should be feeling PROUD not humiliated,you did nothing wrong. You're stronger than you ever believed you showed us all and yourself that you are. You're on the right path girl keep it up you'll be just fine, I know you will. Don't forget to keep your head high. Lots of hugs to you girl, you definately have my respect xo
 
You go girl!!!! :appl: :appl: :appl:
 
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