Loving the diamond - how long does it take you?

[Serendipity99]

I've been reading various posts and see that many of you seem to love or not love a stone very quickly. I've had a beautiful stone for just over a week and I wouldn't say I'm in love yet. To be fair, I've only been able to take it out and look at it a couple times and I'm very new to diamonds so I don't have a lot of reference points. Also, I'm not good at imagining what it will look like in settings so my imagination is a bit stunted.

I really like it. It sparkles and has lots of fire (again, not a lot of reference points though) and I think once set I will be thrilled and love it. I don't know that for sure though.

Is this normal? Has anyone else experienced this?

I've been hoping that the reason lots of you seem to love/not love quickly is that you have reference points and know diamonds better. True?

Thank you!

 

[tyty333]

What kind of diamond is it? Round brilliant?

I'd say if you're not in love with it right away then it needs to go back. Maybe that faceting pattern isnt for you.
Maybe the shape isnt for you. If is a RB...are all the angles/depth/table good.

Tell us what it is and try to pin-point exactly whats not doing it for you.

 

[Sunstorm]

Hi OP, I can tell you that even though I am a trade person and buy from wholesalers a lot of my stones to sell them and/or design with them and then sell them, I only buy stones that I instantly fall in love with unless I am specifically asked for something by a customer. I buy a stone if it makes my heart sing as soon as I see it BUT and this is very important I am very passionate about diamonds and this is why I do this as I truly love them and they excite me. Also, and this is very important, people are different; some people are very rational and I while I am a very logical person I am also very emotional and easily carried away by emotions. In my life I often act on my feelings, gut feelings, etc. So, if your heart did not instantly skip a beat, it may just mean that you are not such an emotionally oriented person and yes the fact that one knows a lot about diamonds and has seen a lot can definitely emphasize the feeling when one sees a great one.

There is also the fact that some just have an eye for them and I am artistic and I am very drawn to beauty but not everyone is. I am not sure what diamond you ended up with and there may not be anything wrong with it, in fact it could be spectacular but it is a fact that not everyone sees the nuances that make some stand out and that does not mean anything is wrong with you or the stone but that we humans are not the same. Me, if I get new stones take them out to examine them several times a day but perhaps I am too much in love with my diamonds.) I feel that this is a good thing because my goal is to give the best to others too.

Can you tell me anything you particularly do not like about your diamond or do you get the feeling that it is not your ideal diamond or perhaps just that you are not that into diamonds (and that would be fine too)?

 

[Lorelei]

Great thoughts Ty and OVi, that's so interesting to hear your thoughts from an ' insider' point of view and as a diamond lover!

 

[Sunstorm]

I just think that we are not the same which makes the world a cool place to live in.) I am sure that many dealers will select based on numbers, I am not that interested in numbers and such, I go by my instincts. What is very interesting is that I remember when we sat at a Bourse office in Antwerp with my favorite wholesalers they showed me different colored stones; e.g., Malaya garnets and I picked up one and said this was really nice. The wholesaler told me that I really know things because a very experienced colored stones specialist said that was an outstanding example of Malaya garnets, well, I had not seen many before but I was drawn to that stone right away. Of course when I look at 50 emeralds I pick out one instantly,the one and only 50,000 euro stone in the bunch.) I selected my little yellow pear because I thought that stone was amazingly cut; chunkier facets and chunky pear, you may never pick it out based on numbers (of course in fancy colors we can be more flexible) but very interestingly every time I show people outside the trade stones to poll them they always pick this stone out just like I did. My jeweler who has been in this trade for 45 years and almost never compliments was amazed by the cut of this stone. So I sometimes wonder if the saying trust your eyes is really wrong like many think. Sure we need knowledge, education, numbers and specs but at the end a beautiful diamond has to please the viewer. Everything could be right with the stone but like it was suggested above, it may be a great stone but perhaps the facet pattern does not please OP.

 

[kenny]

What kind of diamond is it? Round brilliant?

I'd say if you're not in love with it right away then it needs to go back. Maybe that faceting pattern isnt for you.
Maybe the shape isnt for you. If is a RB...are all the angles/depth/table good.

Tell us what it is and try to pin-point exactly whats not doing it for you.

+1

It took me a couple tries to find my ultimate diamond cut, the Octavia Asscher.

 

[Sunstorm]

Could very well be, I am not so much an RB person either, I love square cuts and pears, cushions now. Anyhow, Kenny your Octavia is a beautiful cut; the facet pattern is very appealing and love the depth, the particular symmetry it creates.

 

[JulieN]

Is there a Tiffany near you? They have all sorts of cuts that you can play with.

 

[Lorelei]

Could very well be, I am not so much an RB person either, I love square cuts and pears, cushions now. Anyhow, Kenny your Octavia is a beautiful cut; the facet pattern is very appealing and love the depth, the particular symmetry it creates.

It really is, The Octavia is a masterpiece!

 

[Dreamer_D]

I know that a diamond is for me because I immediately get a deep feeling of possessiveness and covetousness about the piece! And for me this has only happened with completed pieces rather than loose stones or diamonds in "temporary" mountings. I need the whole piece completed on my hand to fall in love. I do have a good imagination, but not for settings or rings. So my two keeper pieces have both been vintage rings that I bought completed and ready to wear!

I have owned many other pieces that I harboured some doubts about from the moment I got them, and for all of those my love waned over time.

I am not a destiny theorist about romantic love with people, but with jewelery I believe in love at first sight.

 

[Sunstorm]

What a great post Dreamer! I love that last sentence.) I used to be just like you and always had vintage and antique pieces but a while ago I have started falling seriously for lose stones, a totally different story, these stones have to have strong personalities and the preloved beauties are perfect as they are. With my lose stones I almost feel sorry setting them and can think months before finalizing an idea. If a stone is a beauty when lose then it is really hard to come up with a setting that emphasizes its beauty and allows it to be the center of attention; so now I love both types, preloved and newly designed. The only difference is that I know after I designed my first piece I felt that it was almost like my child, my own creation from the beginning until completion, it could only get better if I cut the raw stone myself as well.)

 

[Serendipity99]

For those who asked, the stone is a generic Lucida cut, which was originated by Tiffany. Related thread with some pics: [URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/best-designer-to-create-a-custom-vintage-style-ring.202152/']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/best-designer-to-create-a-custom-vintage-style-ring.202152/[/URL] and the close up vid: http://www.jamesallen.com/loose-diamonds/radiant-cut/1.01-carat-f-color-if-clarity-sku-23477

I am way more at ease now as I found its home! We found the setting that spoke to me today and in 4 weeks, I'll see it all come together. I am a pretty emotional person but super rational when it comes to decision making... Maybe that's where my internal conflict comes from!

I cannot seem to find pics of the setting on the designer's site but some phone pics follow. Of course I need to imagine it with my stone instead of princess but not a huge leap.

Feedback welcome!

 

[Gypsy]

No, for me is a visceral thing. I fall immediately in love and it's just a punch in the gut that doesn't go away.

If it's not right for me, it will be lovely but something about it will bug me. And that doesn't go away for me. I've ended up reselling GORGEOUS pieces that I've been blessed to buy just because they just aren't right for me.

 

[arkieb1]

+ 1 to Gypsy's comments when I see it I either love it immediately and every time I put it on I just go wow, I love this or there are little niggling things that bug me about it that really never go away.

 

[CharmyPoo]

Perhaps I haven't found the right one, I just can't imagine loving a material object. I like all my rings and I have issues letting any of them go but that is just a hoarder thing. I do remember how wowed I was and how lucky I felt when I got my oec. I will never sell it but I can't say I am in love with it.

 

[TC1987]

Yes, I did buy a perfect hearts and arrows GIA 3X a few years ago and there was nothing lacking in it's performance. But it failed to wow me, and It just seemed a bit too "bland" or "watery" to me. What it lacked was a strong contrast pattern. I never set that stone. It sat in my safe deposit box for a couple of years, and then I finally decided to either sell it back or trade it on something that I liked better. I went down in clarity to SI2 and upgraded the size and color, and got a more "contrasty" diamond that I am perfectly happy with now. The minor facets affect the appearance and character of a diamond.
http://goodoldgold.com/Articles/MinorFacets/

 

[Sunstorm]

Visceral, that totally describes it for me too, it is exactly like that. It is also a great point whether something is right for us. Take for example that I fall head over heels for amazing cuts, chunky facets, chunky fancy shapes and a medium saturation in my FCDs. Then I got something much more saturated with amazing color and the stone did wow me and looks just stunning when put next to my skin, yet I get a feeling that it is not for me, for me it is too saturated. More valuable, better stone overall, larger, etc. yet it may not do the same thing for me as one that is objectively considered less valuable if for nothing else then that it is half the size of the other. Picking our diamonds IS very subjective, no matter what anyone says, the tiniest nuances can make all the difference. That said OP your stone is a beauty but only you can decide whether it is for you. It is also very true that many people are not crazy like me and cannot imagine the stone as set and that is why they cannot fall in love until set and also because there is something about putting that piece of jewelry on for the very first time; you become possessive of it. But for many, including me, if not 100% love affair at the first sight, it will never be right, for us, may be perfect for someone else. What a cool thread.

 

[LLJsmom]

When I did not immediately fall in love with a diamond, I never did come around.

When I did immediately fall in love, I could fall out of love, or stay in love.

I tried to love a pair of diamonds that I bought for studs. Unfortunately after two weeks I still didn't, even though I (and a bunch of PSers) gave me lots of reasons. Didn't happen.

For me it's like relationships. I either really like a person, and over time stopped (or didn't), or immediately didn't like a person, and never will.

 

[Sunstorm]

So very true, you can also fall out of love, it happens especially as you learn and become more educated but it has to do more with feelings. To my my newest love is almost always my biggest love but there are the memories with the old ones, those I never part with. Hmm, that makes me think we are not monogamous for sure when it comes to loving diamonds.)

 

[Serendipity99]

I so appreciate everyone's feedback and experiences. I thought I fell in love with a diamond several months ago. Then when I spent a few days with it, I quickly fell out of love. Must have been lust after all . I'm pretty confident I must be someone who needs to know where it will live though as now that I know what the setting will be, I am giddy for the four weeks to pass for it to be made. Truly, this is the first time I can say I've been giddy about it since first knowing it had arrived. So excited!

Hopefully one day I'll be better versed and confident about stone selections and therefore able to trust my instinct as several of you can.

Thank you!

 

[Sunstorm]

OP you may be a skeptic at heart.)

 

[Gypsy]

It's a process of trial and error Serendipity. And there is no rhyme or reason. Some of the most inexpensive items I've bought, I've adored. And on the other hand.. items that have been fabulous quality and I've spent some decent amount of money and time choosing and designing on I've re-sold as they didn't hold my heart. And still other items that have been out of my price range but that I would have sold a kidney to own.

While I love my setting in my engagement ring. The center stone has never had my heart. I compromised on it, and well... I should have just kept looking at diamonds in person till I found something that caught my heart. But I didn't know better then. And I do love it for the sentimentality. And it DOES have my husband's heart (and always has), which means a lot to me. And I don't plan on ever changing or upgrading it.





Items I own that I DO love :
Custom piece:

and

and random ebay buy






Items I've owned that I never quite loved (and sold) :

Aurora Band that I had custom made to my specifications.

Jeff White 3 carat sapphire that was EXACTLY what I wanted, until I got it:


And I had an OEC that I felt that way about too. I sold it (I have no pictures). It was a lovely stone but I compromised on it too. And it never had my heart.





Items that I love, but will never own :

Sigh... favorite all time piece:

and
Coati's OEC (Erika Winters):



Don't feel bad if you don't love it. But also... don't keep it. Just keep looking. You deserve to love your diamond. So... until you do. Just keep an eye out and an open mind.

 

[Laila619]

Perhaps I haven't found the right one, I just can't imagine loving a material object. I like all my rings and I have issues letting any of them go but that is just a hoarder thing. I do remember how wowed I was and how lucky I felt when I got my oec. I will never sell it but I can't say I am in love with it.

Me too, Charmy. I have liked many diamonds and settings I have purchased over the years, in an "ooh, pretty!" sort of way. I can't say I'm in love with any of them though. I don't think I'm a jewelry person I guess.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Perhaps I haven't found the right one, I just can't imagine loving a material object. I like all my rings and I have issues letting any of them go but that is just a hoarder thing. I do remember how wowed I was and how lucky I felt when I got my oec. I will never sell it but I can't say I am in love with it.

Well I am using "love" metaphorically. I don't feel the same way about jewelry as people! But the metaphor makes it easier to communicate about feelings in a way most people understand.

I could have said instead that my feelings of appreciation and the desire to keep something and never sell it is "at first sight". But that lacks a little Something

 

[arkieb1]

I guess I should define what I mean about "loving" an item it obviously isn't a romantic type of love. The first time I see it I think Wow and I literally feel happy when I am wearing it. I am the same with shoes and clothing, I have a cupboard full of pretty things that mostly I don't wear and a few key things that I literally wear to bits because they are both comfortable and I am happy and at ease wearing them.

The difference is something that I put on that when I look down at puts a smile on my face or something I look down at that I might like but am either more indifferent to or that I pick faults with....

 

[Gypsy]

Don't be silly. Of course we aren't talking about same kind of love we would have for a person or a pet. Jewels are objects. Same as handbag or shoes. But if someone says "I love your shoes" do you sit there and correct them about their diction and lecture them about what 'love' means to you.
No. Of course not. Same thing here, folks.

 

[dk168]

My mum gifted me a near 1ct MRB ring when I was in my early teens, along with a near 1cttw MRB stud earrings.

I love the studs and still wear them regularly with a pair of diamond jackets. On their own, they look small on me now that I have grown a few sizes bigger!

However, the ring never had my heart, and I discovered why when I grew older - I love step cuts especially EC in a ring!

That realisation came to light when I was choosing my engagement ring back in the mid 1990s. I tried a number of MRB rings and none appealed to me. Then I tried a 3-stone EC ring, and instantly fell in love with it. I loved EC ever since.

Sadly the marriage did not last, and I could not wear it after the divorce, so it was sold to help towards my relocation some time after the divorce.

I treated myself to a nice EC for my 40th birthday, in a way, it was also my divorce bling, as the money for the ring was originally intended for a big holiday with my then hubby.

Anyway, when I went to Diamond House at Antwerp to choose my diamond, I was shown 3 stones, I knew right away I did not like "chunky" ECs, and instantly fell in love with the longer one when it was placed on my finger.

So here it is, my pride and joy, with a tinge of sadness mixed in. I have no plan to trade it in for anything else as it means a lot to me, however, I have not ruled out re-setting it in a different setting in the future. It is intended for my right hand middle finger, however, my finger has grown larger in line with the rest of my body!



DK

 

[TC1987]

I so appreciate everyone's feedback and experiences. I thought I fell in love with a diamond several months ago. Then when I spent a few days with it, I quickly fell out of love. Must have been lust after all . ...

(snort!) And then, some of them are just one night stands, the "seemed like a good idea at the time" kind of item. I had a one night stand with a diamond from a pawn shop once. It was kinda yellow-ish. like maybe an N or O, and this was back in 1993 before the Internet. I looked at it in the harsh light of day, decided that yellow was just too far out, then traded it back to the same store. I ended up with an I VS-something OEC with strong blue fluor which I still own and love.

 

[chrono]

It could be that the diamond isn't the right cut shape for you. ECs make me swoon. Yes, RBs are pretty but a well cut EC makes me drool and keep on drooling.

 

[Serendipity99]

Just to clarify, as several people have suggested that the lucida may not be right for me - I really like my diamond. I don't think liking is bad and I am not talking myself into it. I simply wondered if my thought process is normal and if not, what everyone else's process is.

I also think for me, the setting is key to showing the diamond in its best light, or making me a bit sad as I feel like some don't do the center stone justice.

I wear a diamond RHR with an oval center stone and I love this ring. I would never in a million years sell it but it isn't because of the oval, it is because of the entire composition. I think what I am discovering is that perhaps the same is true for this e-/wedding ring. I like the diamond very much. Now that I know what the entire composition will be, I am on pins and needles waiting for the setting to be done (a whole month!!).

I truly do like knowing how everyone else thinks of their stones though. Of course, I think I may need to love the diamond on its own if I had a straight forward solitaire. If that day ever comes, I may have a tiny emotional crisis.

I do also think perhaps my thinking may be a bit sophomoric and one day I can be a big kid like the rest of you and be able to look at the pieces vs. the whole.