lose at least 10lbs, or buy a new dress?

[choro72]

Stupid me bought the dress to fit my tiniest size. I gained 2 inches in my waist since then, and the wedding is in 6 months. Right now I can squeeze into it only because it''s such a low back that it''s not a full zipper. I look like a pig in a corset, I can''t sit, and eating is out of the question.
My dilemma is, I got to that tiniest size unhealthily (topic), and I don''t want to lose weight like that again. I also have a degree to finish up, and food/weight obsession is so not what I need right now.

I''m sure a lot of ladies here lost weight for their wedding. How long did it take you to do it? Will it take a long time to lose 2 inches healthily?
I know that if it were actually excess weight, I can lose it easily by just changing eating habits. It''s hard because I''m not overweight, and I eat healthy already. I jog at least twice a week, I walk to school every day, I walk for grocery shopping, I don''t eat out most of the time...
If I try again I''m afraid that I''m going to fall back to losing hair and dizziness, but I''m not sure if I can lose it healthily in that amount of time.
Can a seamstress take out 2 inches if needed?
I would hate to buy a new dress because my parents have graciously paid for it. But I''m sure that if it''s between my mental health and wasted money, they will tell me to get another dress.

An online forum is probably not the place to put these kind of topic, but I thought I would ask.

 

[lovinsparkles]

I would talk to a seamstress and see what the options are there. I would not want that kind of pressure hanging over me. Do your best to healthily get where you want to be, but I wouldn''t want more pressure than that. Good luck!

 

[honey22]

I will be brutually honest here, so I really hope not to offend.

For you health, sanity and general wellbeing I would say order another dress. I have read parts of your other thread and it''s not worth getting sick or stressed over if you try and lose the weight. If you starve yourself and you are losing hair, getting dizzy etc, your body is telling you something is seriously wrong.

While we all want to lose weight for our wedding (me included) skinnier is not always better or more attractive. If you are not getting enough nutrients, your sking is likely to be grey and not looking it''s best, ditto your hair and nails. Your eyes can lose their sparkliness that healthiness gives them.

A healthy happy curvy bride is far more beautiful than a bride who is starving exhausted and malnourished. I am betting my boots that you already have a stunning figure and probably look drop dead gorgeous in your gown. It''s likely than only you will notice those last 2 inches, and athough it''s important to feel happy with your body on your wedding day, you don''t want to sacrifice your health (and the beauty that comes with a healthy body) in order to get to that size.

If you had a lot of weight to lose like I do (prob in the order of 40 pounds) I would say go for it, work your booty off *healthily* but you sound like you are already at your ideal weight when eating properly. Sometimes we just have to accept the body we have and love it, no matter what the scales say. At my lowest weight, which I got to by starving and bingeing etc, my face look awful. My cheeks were hollow, my skin and eyes looked dull and I look back on pics and just see that I had pushed myself too far. I don''t want to have that look in my wedding pics.

I really hope you can feel good about yourself on your day, you are beautiful no matter what size!!! Sending you lots of healthy beautiful dust!

 

[Sabine]

I would first talk to a seamstress and see if the dress can be altered to fit your current side. If it can, great! If not, then I would definitely look into getting a new dress.

I wasn''t working (teacher) for a month before the wedding, and I was staying at my dad''s while dh finished up a rotation. I went to the gym 5 days a week, ate so much healthier than I normally do at home with dh, and really tried to lose weight for that month straight. And guess what, I lost nothing. I did tone up a bit, but my dress fit exactly the same as it did before that month. I know you have more than a month, but it seems like it is going to take drastic measures and unhealthy habits/obsession to get you there. I''m short too, so I know how every little pound can show, but your health is much more important than your weight.

 

[Steel]

Date: 1/11/2009 4:01:12 PM
Author: Sabine
I would first talk to a seamstress and see if the dress can be altered to fit your current side. If it can, great! If not, then I would definitely look into getting a new dress.

Like the other posters I agree with this.

 

[choro72]

Thanks you everyone. And honey, thanks for your honesty. Not brutal at all! I see that all comments are meant for my well being, and I am very grateful. Honestly with my yoyoing weight I''m just sick of dieting again.
Just for the record, I don''t mean ordering another $700 dress. If I have to order, I''ll order a DB dress online for $100. I''m going to concentrate my focus on other things than worrying about it, and I''ll pay back my parents. I''m sure they will be forgiving as long as I stay happy.

 

[Elmorton]

Have to ditto everyone else on the seamstress thing. Just take your dress in and see about a quote. A lot of times, in special occasion dresses, there''s a lot of material left in at the seam. Depending on the style of the dress, you may be able to let out some seams to give you more room. I did this to a prom dress - it was almost unwearable it was so tight when we bought it, but a seamstress added a good 3 inches or so by letting out the seams in the waist and back. Another idea would be to see if you could re-do the back - take out the zipper and put in a lace-up panel or something.

If you really love the dress, I think with the partnership of a creative seamstress and a hundred dollars (though it may run you a little more), you could be able to salvage it.

If you''d rather get a dress that you feel more comfortable in that provides less "hassle" (because let''s be honest, when you''re planning a wedding, your stress and sanity is the most important thing to take care of), maybe purchase another dress.

 

[ilovethiswebsite]

Apparently lean muscle (like the kind you develop when swimming) actually helps you burn more calories. In other words, when you are super skinny your metabolism is low and it''s not healthy. When you gain muscle, you are better able to loose excess weight and become healthier. My suggestion would be to eat healthy, keep excercising, and alter or buy a new dress. Also - A-line dresses are a bit more forgiving if you loose or gain weight.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

I don''t know if I''ve ever seen your dress, but what about asking the seamstress to put in a corset back? That way you can lace up your dress regardless of your size.

 

[VRBeauty]

Choro, is it still this dress:

http://www.casablancabridal.com/Images/1827F_LL.jpg ?

If so, that looks like a dress that might be alterable or that could accomodate a lace-up back. I'd second the ladies who are suggesting that you take it to a seamstress to get a professional's opinoon.

I'd also suggest that you do so right away, so you have time to find a new dress if alterations are not an option.

Having read your other weight thread, I really hope you don't go to extremes to lost the weight before your wedding. You want to be healthy and well on your special day!

 

[katamari]

Hi Choro! I would see a trainer and a seamstress before I thought about getting a new dress. I would worry about the weight loss since you are already small and, given your work demands, you don't want to get obsessed with working out and lose your drive and motivation to finish your PhD (something I could totally see happening to me).

ETA: Editing because I think my post was unclear. I would certainly try to work with the seamstress before I tried to lose the weight.

 

[palomablancabride]

I''m Asian, and rather small, but not as small as you. I have very skinny limbs- the weight I put on goes right to my waist. I had to lose 2 inches off of my waist in order to avoid getting the waist taken out- I was able to do this in less than 6 months... with lots of discipline- I never starved myself, just ate really healthily, did cardio, lifted weights and spent a lot of time working out my abs (since I needed to get that smaller for my dress. I''m 33 and even though I weighed less when I was 18 than at the time of the wedding, my wasit was the same size- I''m sure the ab work helped!)

I recommend as other girls have said to see a seamstress to see how much can be taken out, eat well, and exercise but don''t starve yourself! You do have time.

 

[lliang_chi]

Choro,

I''d check with the seamstress. She might be able to let out the sides a bit, but also try working on loosing some weight healthily. Check out the Healthy Lifestyle Thread, it''s great and very supporting. Also try cutting all salt/sodium, or as much as you can. That makes you retain water (read: bloating) and you might be able to loose some inches there. Note: I''m NOT telling you to starve/fast, just cut your salt intake. Also stop drinking alcohol and soda. That''s a lot of carbs and calories there too. That might work for a quick few pounds.

 

[musey]

I wouldn't consider banking on the weight loss, personally. Especially because you got to that size unhealthily the first time - it's entirely possible that you may not be able to attain it with healthy diet and exercise. You should do what you need to do to be the healthiest you can, not the tiniest you can

That said, you're in a bit of a pickle, huh? I would first check to see if it can be let out. 2 inches can be no problem or it can be completely impossible, depending on the dress.

If it can't be altered, in your case, I would get the new dress. It does suck, but it's not worth the stress and possible risk to your health to place those unrealistic weight goals upon yourself.


I just checked your other thread (hadn't seen it before). I just wanted to throw out there that the difference between 84 and 100 lbs. on your height is VAST! 16 lbs. on a 4'7" frame is like 50 lbs. on a 5'10" frame. Ya dig? I know that only 5-6 lbs. on my frame (5'4") is the difference between feeling overweight and slim. All that to say that, if you do consider losing weight again, maybe it's best to do it VERY SLOWLY (which is a good general rule anyway) and with a smaller goal in mind. Say, 90-92 lbs. On your frame it will make a HUGE difference, and you may be surprised at how much better you feel there than at 84 lbs., and how much thinner you feel than at 100 lbs.

 

[dcgator]

Date: 1/11/2009 4:24:36 PM
Author: Steel

Date: 1/11/2009 4:01:12 PM
Author: Sabine
I would first talk to a seamstress and see if the dress can be altered to fit your current side. If it can, great! If not, then I would definitely look into getting a new dress.

Like the other posters I agree with this.

I also agree with this. Regardless of the event, an unhealthy diet is not good. Being healthy, even if its not your "ideal," is better for you. When you have the energy to live life and the balance to enjoy special events like your wedding, you will be more happy than if you are too tired to enjoy yourself and afraid to eat dinner or cake at your own wedding!

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 1/12/2009 11:09:11 AM
Author: musey
I wouldn''t consider banking on the weight loss, personally. Especially because you got to that size unhealthily the first time - it''s entirely possible that you may not be able to attain it with healthy diet and exercise. You should do what you need to do to be the healthiest you can, not the tiniest you can

Well said. I''d start considering the new dress if a seamstress can''t let it out for you.

 

[Winks_Elf]

I''m in the same boat as you, hun. BUT, a good seamstress can put gussets in the sides or the back. If the gown has a really long train, she can steal fabric from the bottom to use, if she can''t match it up. I want to change the back of the dress I bought, so if a seamstress has to let it out we can reconstruct the back using the fabric from the detachable cathedral length train.

 

[choro72]

Elmorton, I already have a seamstress in mind so I''ll contact her. I''m so glad it worked out for you. I thought that letting out dress is impossible. Did your prom dress have lots of beading? Mine does, and that worries me. I tend to worry about things so much before I even contact a professional. I''m sure they can do wonders but the beading on my dress is so pretty that again, I worry...

ilovethiswebsite, I know you are right about the muscle I had. I jogged everyday and I thought that was how I got so thin. Then it got so hot I started swimming. Then WOOF! My back muscle was bulging! I thought swimming made me fat, and I''m sure it did for the first 3 lbs, but the rest was just eating

HudsonHawk, VRBeauty, my dress is the one that VR posted Casablanca 1827. I can have a corset back put in (they had the option when I bought it), and if it comes to that I will. But it will be such a shame! The beading around the zipper overlays across the zipper, and it''s so pretty! I know that nobody is going to notice, but it will be such a shame

Katamari, how is your work going? I still can''t stand mine

Hence the obsession with food and working out. It''s so much more fun to eat. Then I get depressed and work out like a horse...

palomablancabride, you must have done it healthily if you haven''t rebounded after your wedding. I thought I was being healthy last year when I was skinny. Then I tasted fatty meat at a friend''s bbq, and I went insane. It was as if I went blind, and I had to put the food in my mouth before someone takes it away from me.
May I ask what part of Asia are you? I''m Chinese/Japanese, and I was wondering if whatever diet plan you had will work for me. I don''t anymore rebounds

liangchi, HL is awesome! I love that topic. They are so supportive of my problems it helps me because I feel like I owe it to them to help myself. Of course I owe it to myself really, but you know what i mean...
Anyway, food choices aren''t a problem for me. I don''t drink soda at all unless it''s a party, and even then I only drink diet sodas. Salt/Sodium may be a problem...I don''t add any salt, but the Oyster sauce does. Although I drizzle...Not drown my food in them. Hmmm. But mostly though, I think my body is retaining so much because I used to be in a starvation mode before.
Thanks for your suggestion! I''ll measure out how much sodium I take in.

musey, so my height is a factor right? I felt so much thinner and sexier when I was 15 lbs lighter! My friends tell me 15lbs is nothing, but that''s already two wedding dress sizes for me. It was a difference in my thighs touching and not touching

I looked so much better than I do now though. I can''t even look at myself in a mirror anymore, and forget camera pictures. It took a while to be not depressed enough to be able to post in HL gain.

dcgator, that''s how I am now, and you''re right. I''m so unhappy with myself but my obsession is scary. I freak out about eating out because I''m afraid I''ll break my diet. I do not allow myself to eat before a certain time (No matter how hungry I am, 1:59PM is too early for lunch, I have to wait until 2PM). I freak out when friends suggest an early dinner, because I''m afraid I''ll get hungry later on and I won''t be allowed to eat then.
On my good days I realize how much precious time I''m wasting thinking about it instead of enjoying life or people I hang out with. And yes, I do worry about the cake at the wedding.
Yikes, I''m sorry I dumped all of this on you...

neatfreak and musey again, I do feel that my thinner self was sexier. There is nothing sexy about whining on a forum, and yet my thick arms are all I see when I look at pictures. Not the good times I had over Thanksgiving, not my friends or their adorable kitty that wouldn''t stop rubbing on me because she was in heat, but only my puffed out face.

winkself, ooo, that''s such a good motivation! But you''re already so beautiful judging from the avatar!

 

[Bliss]

I wonder if you could have a back-up dress that you would never wear and be able to take back just in case? Some bridal dress shops allow for this contingency.

I think as the big day comes closer, you will naturally shed more pounds just due to stress. That is more common. But sometimes being stressed about weight will make some people gain more -- cortisol and etc. The stress hormones can make you nuts. Make sure you're sleeping enough. Not sleeping enough can make people hold on to the extra pounds.

My best advice is to be as patient as you can and not crash diet. I'm petite like you and I remember your story. It's similar to mine. A few years ago, I got scary scary skinny. I ate too little and I had no idea why I was losing so much weight. I was just crazy busy and literally never ate for some reason. I didn't have much to begin with, so I think my body FREAKED out when I started eating NORMALLY and my appetite returned.

In 2005...In 6 months, I went gained 25 lbs! I was 95 lbs at my smallest and 125lbs at my heaviest and I'm a little over 5'3". My "happy" normal weight is about 105 (the big boobs stayed for some freak reason). I have really small bone structure so it was a lot on me and I felt very bloated & miserable. You could tell because even my face was bigger and I just felt so uncomfortable all the time, like I was stuffed into a suit that was too small. Very odd.

But I was just patient during the 6 months while my body was thinking it was feast after the famine. I realized my body was just freaking out so I let it run its course and just kept eating normally and working out on my regular schedule. It was FREAKY for a while, though! My body was just turning everything into storage, thinking it would be famine time.

And then after 6 months of patiently eating normally, it just started *falling* off. I found the body doesn't WANT to hold on to extra weight because it's more effort and harder for you to run around and etc. It WANTS to be a lean machine. I think we're the ones who keep throwing it off course, giving it crazy fuel and confusing it. You have to let it recalibrate to what's normal after dropping soooo much weight. I think this is why crash dieters keep gaining tremendous amounts of weight. The body is out of whack. At least, that's what happened to me.

I also make sure I eat the amount I normally do, and that's a lot. I eat as much as FI does and he's a foodie, too! BUT I just ate "clean" -- nothing artificial or too sugary. Lots of natural stuff, good fats, even butter was fine so long as my food wasn't swimming in it... Sometimes if your ethnicity is Asian, it's good to go back to Asian food. Rice makes some people gain weight, but for Asians, I think it helps you maintain.

Anyway... keep working out. I did strength training... eat normally. Just be patient. I think your wonderful body is just freaking out now... it'll pass. You will be a beautiful bride regardless. I hope that helped! I should have posted it in your other thread but I got carried away!

HUGS

 

[MustangGal]

Have you tried a slimmer? I had a friend that gained too much weight before the wedding, and just a simple slimmer cut her down 3 inches. It may not bring you all the way you need, but it might make the difference between being able to let it out a little and having to do a corset back if you don''t really want one.

 

[bee*]

I agree with the others in that I would see what the seamstress says first and then make your decision. If it can''t be taken out, then I would think about getting a new dress. Could you try magic knickers or something similar to even out the waist?

 

[emeraldlover1]

Bliss...you are so right! That is exactly what happened with me. After my scary skinny stage returning to eat normally I put on the weight but after a year or so of eating normally and not obsessing about it the weight just started to fall off. Of course with exercize but it is crazy how long it takes us to come to this realization. Also, I should add that I am 5''3'''' and muscular. My scary skinny weight is actually 115. I actually look the best at 120 and my body carries that very well. It just shows that even on the same height the difference between what our bodys can handle and what not.

 

[Bliss]

Date: 1/12/2009 3:32:50 PM
Author: emeraldlover1
Bliss...you are so right! That is exactly what happened with me. After my scary skinny stage returning to eat normally I put on the weight but after a year or so of eating normally and not obsessing about it the weight just started to fall off. Of course with exercize but it is crazy how long it takes us to come to this realization. Also, I should add that I am 5'3' and muscular. My scary skinny weight is actually 115. I actually look the best at 120 and my body carries that very well. It just shows that even on the same height the difference between what our bodys can handle and what not.

Yes!!! It was really really hard not to freak out and cut back on my calories when my body was putting on crazy weight. The first instinct is to go to war with your body and fight the weight gain because it can be so scary and foreign. But you have to actually do the OPPOSITE. You have to LOVE your body, be patient and very GENTLE with your body because right now it's probably like a scared and confused baby screaming its head off...cramming everything it can into storage. LOL. It's just trying to survive the next "famine." So work with it, not against it!

It's SO counter intuitive but you have to keep eating normally and consistently. Once your freaked out body realizes, "OK, Diva over here isn't going to starve me again... I think I can trust this lady not to starve me again." The weight will literally just fall off. Emeraldlover, isn't that the craziest thing? It was sooo hard not to freak out and cut back when that was happening! You sound toned and sleek! Whew! Who knew eating was the answer to losing weight?!

HANG IN THERE, CHORO!!!!!

 

[musey]

Date: 1/12/2009 1:01:38 PM
Author: choro72
musey, so my height is a factor right? I felt so much thinner and sexier when I was 15 lbs lighter! My friends tell me 15lbs is nothing, but that''s already two wedding dress sizes for me. It was a difference in my thighs touching and not touching

Yes, of course, height is a HUUUUUGE factor. How tall are your friends that 15 lbs. is nothing?? 15 lbs. is a lot on almost any frame. Unless you''re massively overweight, say 250 lbs. plus, 15 lbs. will make a big difference in your appearance.

Also, going from 250 lbs. to 235 lbs., while an accomplishment sure, is a lot easier than going from 100 lbs. to even 97 lbs. The more excess weight you have, the easier and more quickly it sheds. So in that context, 15 lbs. may seem like "nothing" to people of a higher weight. For someone

But 15 lbs. is 15% of your body weight - that''s a lot!


I have a friend who is very petite, not as short as you though at 4''11". She weighed about 120 when I met her and was just ever-so-slightly chubby. She was very cute and it would never have occurred to me that she might want to lose weight. She went through a health kick about 2 years ago and lost 7 lbs. - yes, only 7 lbs. - and for her that was the difference between chubby and cute and thin, shapely and drop-dead-gorgeous. Only 7 lbs.!! Likewise, on me, 15 lbs. is the difference between looking overweight and looking very thin.

So it''s all relative to your height. Makes sense, if you think about it - the taller you are, the more spread out that weight is, the less you grow "out" in any one place. That''s also why someone who''s 5''10" and 130 is rail-thin, but someone who''s 5''3" and 130 usually looks a bit chubby.

It all depends on your bone structure as well. I, for example, have a very heavy bone structure for my height. Let''s just say I''m not at a risk for osteoporosis

120 on my looks very thin, because a larger-than-normal percentage of that weight is coming from my bones. One of my friends, who is the same height as me, looks overweight at 120 because her bone structure is much thinner than average, so a higher-than-normal percentage of that weight is coming from her fat. I hope that makes sense.

Hang on, I have a good resource for you that I''m going to dig up...

 

[musey]

Okay found it. My husband has one of those pinch-your-stomach body fat measuring thingies.

There's a series of calculations you can do to figure out what your weight loss goal should be, and you can do them no matter how you figure out your body fat percentage. Here are the calculations:


A) Weight

B) % Fat

C) Fat (lb or kg) = (A x B) / 100

D) Lean Body Mass (lb or kg) = A - C

E) Body Fat % Goal (you figure this out with a chart like this - I usually shoot for somewhere right on the cusp of lean and ideal, for my age that's about 19%)

F) Lean Body Mass % Goal = 100 - E

G) Weight Goal = (D / F) x 100

H) Weight Loss Goal of Fat = A - G


I'll work something out for you to show you how it might look.

 

[musey]

Your info might look something like this:

A) Weight
100

B) % Fat
maybe 26%? Just for the sake of the example we'll try that

C) Fat (lb or kg) = (A x B) / 100
26

D) Lean Body Mass (lb or kg) = A - C
74

E) Body Fat % Goal
Let's say 20%, the low end of ideal.

F) Lean Body Mass % Goal = 100 - E
80

G) Weight Goal = (D / F) x 100
92.5

H) Weight Loss Goal of Fat = A - G
7.5 lbs.


So even according to that, I don't think you'd be able to manipulate the numbers to make 84lbs. reasonable. But how about mid- to lower-90s?

All that is absolutely NOT to suggest that you should try to do this for the wedding. A wedding is too stressful a goal for that. How about concentrating on being very healthy, eating in a way that your body responds to (everyone's ideal diet is different... for me I do fantastically with high carb, high fiber, low fat and medium protein) and just doing what you can to feel good physically? If that makes you fit in your dress, great - if not, you have a backup plan. But it can never hurt to be as healthy as you can, even if it doesn't get you to your goal size by ______ date.

We're here for ya, Choro!

 

[musey]

Wow, I just realized that I typed a massive amount of info. Sorry! I tend to over-share sometimes

haha

 

[choro72]

Musey, you''re so awesome!! So 94lbs. I don''t think I''ll fit into my dress without having it altered at that weight

, but I have to stay focused on what''s really best for me.
Wow, 20% body fat is the low end of ideal? I thought 12, 13 will still be okay. The nutritionist measured my body fat last year (pinching me and checking for excess skin) and figured that I had a 14% body fat. He actually said that it''s low but not alarming.

Guess campus resources really sucks...

bliss and emeraldlover, 6 months!? A year!? eeek! No wonder I haven''t been seeing any results these three weeks! I was so depressed about it but I promised myself that I will be healthy so I''ve been forcing myself to eat healthy

Must..not..ignore..the..hunger...
But I''m so glad to hear that you saw results though. I thought that I''ve messed myself so badly that I''ll never be thin without going on a crazy diet and that''s why I''m not seeing any results. I have hope!!

MustangGal and bee, I would totally wear a tummy flatner! Ooo, but I don''t know if I can find one with a low back. The back of my dress is about 0.5-1 inch below the bra hook.

 

[jstarfireb]

I second the idea of adding a corset back to the dress...but I happen to adore corset backs, so I''m biased!

Your other thread rings a lot of bells for me (the constant focus on food, hair loss, etc.). I never had an eating disorder per se, but when I was about 16 or so, I went on a weight loss kick and got down to a very unhealthy weight for my height and bone structure. For me, at 5''8" tall, that was 115 lbs. I''m currently a lean and muscular 145, and while I''m not overweight for my height (I have dress threads on PS if you care to see for comparison''s sake), I''d like to lose about 10 pounds to get back to my healthy high school weight. Interestingly enough, even a 30lb fluctuation didn''t look like a huge difference on my body (I only dropped 1 jeans size). And people are always surprised to hear how much I weigh, which goes to show you how different people just carry weight differently.

In terms of the body fat percentage issue, women will not menstruate if they maintain a body fat percentage below about 15-17% for a long period (no pun intended!). Men can safely go down to lower levels of body fat, but unfortunately it''s just not healthy for us girls. A good low-normal range to aim for might be something like 19-22% body fat. As attractive as stopping your period might sound, having it happen as a result of weight loss is unhealthy. It happened to me and took a long time to come back even after I reached a healthy weight.

Also, body fat doesn''t always correspond to how skinny you are! Lots of really skinny ladies have a fairly high body fat percentage (usually the ones who are genetically blessed but don''t exercise). Just food for thought...

 

[MustangGal]

The slimmer my friend bought had a low back, so I know they''re out there. I think she got it at Macys...