Lorelei: Our Sympathies

[Kaleigh]

Date: 4/14/2007 12:09:33 AM
Author: Lorelei
I couldn't sleep, so I came here to find even more wonderful messages from my PS friends, and they are helping my sore heart right now so much.

A huge and sincere thank you to Madam B ( thanks for the beautiful poem), Aljdewey, Kim, Sharon, DKS( good to see you), Lumpkin, Dixie, Maisie, Roppongi, Mara, Ankie, Crown, FG, dear Ellen ( thanks so much for the poem too), Skippy, MrsSalvo, Kate and Heather. I appreciate your kindess more than you will ever know.

I forgot that my beautiful golden horse was made of flesh and blood, he survived the disease which killed Barbaro and eventually was able to walk and run again like any other horse. The vets thought he would never walk again and he proved them wrong with his patience and immense courage, he did more than walk! He was shut into his stable for months while his feet healed, it is a long process, and he never got sour or dangerous towards me, an animal who loves freedom and depends on movement for his very survival. When the chips were down, my boy could bounce back and defy the odds. With experiences like that, time and time again I forget that one day they must leave me and go to that place beyond the sunset, it hurts. My Father who has also gone from here always used to say ' don't forget they are only ever lent to you' meaning my animals, and as much as I prefer to think they are mine and always will be, in the end I am forced to face reality time and time again that they don't belong to me. And I am made to revisit that dark place where pain and tears are familiar companions, and I don't want to go there. Yet I would face the pain a thousand thousand times and that much again for the privilege of being able to love and care for them and something inside me stirs at the prospect of having another day to help animals, as much as it hurts. This is how I can best pay tribute to my precious ones who have gone on before me.

Lorelei, that is so beautiful and sweet. Bless your precious heart. I ache for you right now my dear friend. My heart is with your's tonight. Am so very sorry.

Lisa

 

[Lorelei]

Lisa, hugs to you and thanks so much for lending me a piece of your heart to help heal mine.

 

[Beacon]

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of King. I grew up riding; I know how it hurts. I am so, so sorry to hear of this. He was very lucky to have you for his caretaker.

 

[dani13]

I am so very sorry to hear about your loss, Lorelei. You and yours will be in my thoughts and prayers. I wish you much strength in this difficult time.

 

[Lorelei]

Beacon and Dani, thanks so much. It is strength that I am going to need, I don''t feel like myself at the moment, such a huge part of me has gone, but I am trying to be brave. I am thankful I was able to give him a life that many other horses can only dream of, he was so spoiled and he loved it. He used to stand at his stable door yelling his head off until Mummy would come running, then his eyes would go soft and he would start licking his lips in anticipation of his next treat. He always made me smile. I will miss all the wonderful and happy things that I had from loving him.

 

[divergrrl]

Oh Lorelei, I am so sorry for your loss. To me, horses are like people, they are so beautiful & their eyes speak volumes. I hope you are able to find some comfort in this hard time.

Jeannine

 

[KristyDarling]

Oh, Lorelei. I''m so very sorry to hear about this.

Our animals are a part of our families, and for you to have been with your sweet horse for so many years...the pain and sadness must be intense. But he had a full and rich life, and was lucky to have had you, and vice versa. I''m thinking of you during this hard time. Hugs.

 

[Mannequin]

I am so very sorry to hear of King''s passing, Lorelei. As you and I well know, horses become something more than just pets, they are true companions who bring us happiness and leave indelible hoofprints in our hearts. My thoughts are with you and your King in this time, may your many memories of him bring you great comfort.

 

[Lorelei]

Thank you so much DiverGirl, Kristy and Equi, for your support. I have made it through another day without him and tried to keep busy. I forget for a split second that he isn''t there any more, I find myself thinking it is time to go and see to him and then I remember, as DH says, my clock was set by that horse, and it was. It''s so hard, but I am grateful for the happiness we gave each other over 20 wonderful years. I was so lucky to have been his person.

 

[curlygirl]

Oh Lorelei, I''m in tears here reading your sad story. I am so terribly sorry for your loss. The unconditional love you give to and receive from an animal is unlike anything else in this world. I''m glad you were able to share so many years with King and I know your heart will be empty without him but hopefully the pain will lessen with time and you will be able to fill your heart again with all the wonderful memories you have of him. My thoughts are with you.

 

[Maria D]

Oh Lorelei, I''m so sorry!

>> I will miss all the wonderful and happy things that I had from loving him.<<

All those things are still yours to treasure. Give your heart time to heal. One day you''ll be able to think about him with your heart again filled with joy, not grief. Love never dies!

 

[Miranda]

Lorelei, I am so sorry for your loss. Your posts have me all teary. Your horse was so lucky to have you. I love your story about how spoiled he was. I grew up around horses and I know how special and individual their personalities are. Sending great big hugs to you.

 

[Mokey]

Ms. Lorelei, I am so very sorry for the loss of your dear sweet boy. You give so much strength to others, I hope you can draw strength from all of us here. My thoughts are with you.

 

[Ellen]

Hey you, just wanted you to know I''m thinking about you.

 

[Lorelei]

Thanks so much for taking the time to post your support for me CurlyGirl, Maria, Miranda and Mokey, it does help so much.

Ellen - thanks my friend. It isn''t easy and I am at the stage where I can''t bear to even think about it, it is all so horrible. But I am putting one foot in front of the other and trying to keep busy, thank goodness I have the little ponies to care for, they are a comfort to me. One of my rescued cats, Vincent, is following me all over the place and giving me head bonks and affection, it is like he knows and is trying to help, bless him. So I am hanging in there, I miss my special baby so much. Last night it was very hard, once I had tucked the little ponies in for the night, I looked to see King eating his hay in his stable and it was empty, it is going to take a long time.

 

[Ellen]

Date: 4/15/2007 9:09:28 AM
Author: Lorelei
Thanks so much for taking the time to post your support for me CurlyGirl, Maria, Miranda and Mokey, it does help so much.

Ellen - thanks my friend. It isn''t easy and I am at the stage where I can''t bear to even think about it, it is all so horrible. But I am putting one foot in front of the other and trying to keep busy, thank goodness I have the little ponies to care for, they are a comfort to me. One of my rescued cats, Vincent, is following me all over the place and giving me head bonks and affection, it is like he knows and is trying to help, bless him. So I am hanging in there, I miss my special baby so much. Last night it was very hard, once I had tucked the little ponies in for the night, I looked to see King eating his hay in his stable and it was empty, it is going to take a long time.

Awww, bless his heart.


You are right, it''s going to take time, as it does whenever we grieve the loss of someone/something. And keeping busy will help. So will a good cry now and then.

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 4/15/2007 9:35:04 AM
Author: Ellen

Date: 4/15/2007 9:09:28 AM
Author: Lorelei
Thanks so much for taking the time to post your support for me CurlyGirl, Maria, Miranda and Mokey, it does help so much.

Ellen - thanks my friend. It isn''t easy and I am at the stage where I can''t bear to even think about it, it is all so horrible. But I am putting one foot in front of the other and trying to keep busy, thank goodness I have the little ponies to care for, they are a comfort to me. One of my rescued cats, Vincent, is following me all over the place and giving me head bonks and affection, it is like he knows and is trying to help, bless him. So I am hanging in there, I miss my special baby so much. Last night it was very hard, once I had tucked the little ponies in for the night, I looked to see King eating his hay in his stable and it was empty, it is going to take a long time.

Awww, bless his heart.


You are right, it''s going to take time, as it does whenever we grieve the loss of someone/something. And keeping busy will help. So will a good cry now and then.

Thanks for the hugger!

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Oh, Lorelei, I haven''t been reading through the threads enough the last week or so, so I apologize for being late in seeing this. I am so terribly sorry about the loss of your beloved horse. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

 

[Lorelei]

Seeks, thanks so much for your post, I so appreciate it. I am having a bit of a hard time tonight, I am swinging between feeling numb and so many different feelings, but I suppose it is a measure of how much I truly loved him and I did so much, he made me so happy, he truly was a companion in every sense of the word. My poor Hubby is heartbroken too, he will miss his buddy.

 

[pyramid]

Very sorry to hear this news Lorelei. Reading what you wrote about him calling for you was just beautiful. He was very lucky to have you in his life for so many years. Big Hugs to you.

 

[Lorelei]

Thanks Pyramid. He really did give me so much joy and if my words have conveyed a little of the very special relationship we had, that pleases me.

 

[katebar]

Lorelei I too am so moved by your posts my heart just aches for you as I know what it is like to lose a beloved companion.
The numbness and the multitude of other feelings you are going through is totally normal. When terrible things happened we are programmed to behave and feel this way. Its an adaptive response. The numbness protects us so that little by little as the days go by we can go on and deal with the loss. If not it would be just to overwhelming to bear.
It is important to gently or however you want to grieve in your own way and seek the comfort of friends and family either two legged or four.
By doing this you honour your dear King.
Kate

 

[Samantha Red]

Lorelei

As a fellow animal mad person and horse owner, I feel so terribly for your loss. The bond is huge after such a long time and I can only imagine the gaping hole that this has left.

 

[Lorelei]

Kate and Samantha, thanks so much for your posts. I don''t feel like myself at the moment, but I suppose I will never be the same person again, I do know that I am a far better person for having my lovely King in my life. I am literally trying to take it hour by hour at the moment. I keep seeing the horse box leaving home to take him to the vets and I can'' t bear the pain of that, I wish I could feel a more numbness at the moment. I guess time is what I need.

 

[KimberlyH]

Lorelei,

We live across from a ranch, and every time I look out the window and see the horses I think of you and your King. Just wanted you to know you are still in my thoughts. Big hugs to you.

~Kimi

 

[Sundial]

Lorelei I am late to this thread, but I just wanted to add my most sincere sympathies for your loss.

 

[Mannequin]

Just thinking about you today, as my vet came out for spring shots for both horses. I hope you are doing okay, Lorelei.

 

[Lorelei]

Kim, and SD, thanks so much for your posts and thanks for the bump Equi. I am hanging in there, today was very hard as the vet telephoned and said that King's ashes were ready for collection. I didn't think they would be ready so soon. As Hubby is away, I don't think I could handle the journey and collection on my own, so the vet said they would keep them until we were ready to collect them. I will also be getting his shoes back with the ashes. It still doesn't feel real that he has gone, having him at home I was lucky to be able to spend so much time with him and to be able to go out to see him in my nightgown if I wanted, but there are also constant reminders every minute of the day that he is no longer here. I hope in time I will be able to think more of the wonderful 20 years we shared, rather than the pain of his loss. I miss caring for him so much, it really used to give me a contentment that was so unique, seeing him happy and comfortable and knowing that I was making him so.

I am spending a lot of time with the little ponies and they are a great comfort to me. They can be a feisty handful, but they come and stand with me and cuddle in, and it really feels like they are trying to help. They will miss the Boss too, King ran a tight ship and made sure the ponies knew he was in charge. I so miss my boy.

Equi - how are your boys doing?

 

[MiniMouse]

Lorelei,

As you know, I am in Seattle on vacation at the moment and heading to Mexico on Sunday. Thankfully I''ve had the library Internet to keep in touch with you as much as I can.

My heart goes out to you as I know how much King meant to you, you talked about him all the time with so much love. I know not having him there is causing you so much heartbreak and I feel so sad that hubby isn''t there to provide you with the comfort and support that you need. I truly understand how you can''t bear the thought of picking up King''s ashes and shoes without someone with you. You definitely need the support. It really made me blubber when you mentioned his shoes, it really brought it home to me just how final it all is. Although I haven''t been able to keep in touch with you every day, I am thinking of you and my heart sinks at the thought of the loneliness you must be feeling. However, be assured that your ponies all adore you and King is looking down on you and is truly grateful for the love and affection you showered him with for 20 years. He will never forget you, the same as you will never forget him. You have both earned your places in heaven and you''ll meet up there some day in the future, so please don''t look at this as being a final chapter... it isn''t. Keep the memories of King alive, cherish the happy times and look on the sadness of last week as the start of a painless chapter for King. He''s grateful to you for all you did, there are so many who could never have offered King the chance you gave him, you had to try, rather than leave King suffering. You did what was best, it was just unfortunate that King had another condition that took him away earlier than we all hoped. Be proud of yourself for being so brave and remember that God had a job for King, that''s why he had to go.... he''s gone to a greener field and can''t wait to show you where is is, when the time comes.

You''re in my thoughts daily and.... big hug.

 

[VegasAngel]

Sorry about your loss.