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- Feb 2, 2016
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First a little background, my MIL is terminally ill, the doctors at Yale are giving her weeks to live. I have written about her before, our relationship is complicated, we have been no contact for the past four years, DH and kids have been in contact, just not me. It all stemmed from a blow up at Christmas years ago when she said some hurtful things and it was too much for me. That is the backstory. Mind you I don't even know if she would be comfortable given that fact with the following suggestion but I have to start somewhere.
DH called yesterday and they are trying to figure out where she is going when she leaves the hospital. She can't go back to her apartment because she lives alone so that meant hospice care. I said we could have her live with us and of course he was shocked I would suggest it since our relationship has been so poor. In fact several family members have made comments, but the thing is that I never hated the woman, she is his mother and I would hope if my mother was dying and it was even an option to live with us that he would extend the olive branch. I'm also getting a lot of doubt from them, that I don't know what I'm getting myself into etc, none of that is especially helpful. Yes, it will be hard work, yes it will be more than a full time job, no rose-colored glasses here.
So I'm looking for some insight from those that have cared for a terminally ill person, because that's really what is helpful in figuring out whether this is something I can handle. She will not be able to be left home alone, luckily I don't work outside the home and most days I don't need to leave the house or can wait until my older son or DH gets home. She has nurses that come to help her and there are many family members who could help us when needed. She gets money from social security that would cover any expenses for food and utilities. Really the biggest part of this will be the dynamics of being a full time caregiver to her while caring for my two kids, pets and running the house in general.
Any thoughts, suggestions are appreciated. TIA!
DH called yesterday and they are trying to figure out where she is going when she leaves the hospital. She can't go back to her apartment because she lives alone so that meant hospice care. I said we could have her live with us and of course he was shocked I would suggest it since our relationship has been so poor. In fact several family members have made comments, but the thing is that I never hated the woman, she is his mother and I would hope if my mother was dying and it was even an option to live with us that he would extend the olive branch. I'm also getting a lot of doubt from them, that I don't know what I'm getting myself into etc, none of that is especially helpful. Yes, it will be hard work, yes it will be more than a full time job, no rose-colored glasses here.
So I'm looking for some insight from those that have cared for a terminally ill person, because that's really what is helpful in figuring out whether this is something I can handle. She will not be able to be left home alone, luckily I don't work outside the home and most days I don't need to leave the house or can wait until my older son or DH gets home. She has nurses that come to help her and there are many family members who could help us when needed. She gets money from social security that would cover any expenses for food and utilities. Really the biggest part of this will be the dynamics of being a full time caregiver to her while caring for my two kids, pets and running the house in general.
Any thoughts, suggestions are appreciated. TIA!