Life questions

[metall]

Hi PS,

I was hoping to take advantage of the anonymity of an online forum to both vent a little and to seek guidance from some of the older people here who know better.

I'm in a bit of a transitional phase in my life, recently engaged, just bought a house, a sort of good paying job with minimum stress....so all in all not too shabby. Heck, i should be the happiest person in the world and i should be settling into that grown up world seamlessly. But recently i cant help this sort of restless STUCK feeling.

I had all these grand ideas as a teen that id be a lawyer and working at an incredible job in a mid-sized law firm, stressed beyond belief but happy because i followed my dreams....making better money (NOT that I will or can ever complain about my decent paying safe paralegal job).

Then life happened, i guess. And up until a year ago, i was content with my lot in life.....then some things have happened at work that made me realize without that law degree i wont be respected in my role as paralegal, at least not at my current firm. I might as well be the attorneys personal file courier.

I kept thinking maybe its time to jump ship on the legal business thing, but i have really worked myself into a corner where the only work skills i have is as a paralegal. I've got a mortgage that doesnt allow me to make a switch to a lower paying job to gain experience, getting a new job appeals to me but is sort of scary...alternatively law school is still a possibility but im too scared to borrow more money on top of my mortgage to go to law school.

I guess my questions for you all are of two different thoughts first: ...if anyone's been in this stuck position, what did you do? What helped you come top that decision? For a lack of a more eloquent way of saying it, if anyone's gotten stuck before how did you unstick yourself?

Alternatively, the second is: How old is too old for law school? [Is that market too saturated?] If not a paralegal what other types of jobs do you think paralegals are suited for?

All advice welcomed and Thank you for reading my autobiography!

 

[PintoBean]

Hi PS,

I was hoping to take advantage of the anonymity of an online forum to both vent a little and to seek guidance from some of the older people here who know better.

I'm in a bit of a transitional phase in my life, recently engaged, just bought a house, a sort of good paying job with minimum stress....so all in all not too shabby. Heck, i should be the happiest person in the world and i should be settling into that grown up world seamlessly. But recently i cant help this sort of restless STUCK feeling.

I had all these grand ideas as a teen that id be a lawyer and working at an incredible job in a mid-sized law firm, stressed beyond belief but happy because i followed my dreams....making better money (NOT that I will or can ever complain about my decent paying safe paralegal job).

Then life happened, i guess. And up until a year ago, i was content with my lot in life.....then some things have happened at work that made me realize without that law degree i wont be respected in my role as paralegal, at least not at my current firm. I might as well be the attorneys personal file courier.

I kept thinking maybe its time to jump ship on the legal business thing, but i have really worked myself into a corner where the only work skills i have is as a paralegal. I've got a mortgage that doesnt allow me to make a switch to a lower paying job to gain experience, getting a new job appeals to me but is sort of scary...alternatively law school is still a possibility but im too scared to borrow more money on top of my mortgage to go to law school.

I guess my questions for you all are of two different thoughts first: ...if anyone's been in this stuck position, what did you do? What helped you come top that decision? For a lack of a more eloquent way of saying it, if anyone's gotten stuck before how did you unstick yourself?

Alternatively, the second is: How old is too old for law school? [Is that market too saturated?] If not a paralegal what other types of jobs do you think paralegals are suited for?

All advice welcomed and Thank you for reading my autobiography!

I went to law school when I was 28. I worked full time and attended class at night. I never sat for the bar so I'm not an attorney. My husband closed on our first home right when we started dating so we were able to afford the mortgage and maintenance off one salary. We did really well given our lower salaries at the time. I paid off my student loans within 2.5 years of graduating (iirc). At the same time, we also managed to pay our mortgage 2 years ahead and pay for our wedding (minus the food and drink and my dress which were covered by mom).

I'm just rambling (mea culpa) because of my late dinner and food coma lolol. Please ask me any questions you want.

 

[nala]

Why did you opt out of law school?

 

[metall]

I went to law school when I was 28. I worked full time and attended class at night. I never sat for the bar so I'm not an attorney. My husband closed on our first home right when we started dating so we were able to afford the mortgage and maintenance off one salary. We did really well given our lower salaries at the time. I paid off my student loans within 2.5 years of graduating (iirc). At the same time, we also managed to pay our mortgage 2 years ahead and pay for our wedding (minus the food and drink and my dress which were covered by mom).

I'm just rambling (mea culpa) because of my late dinner and food coma lolol. Please ask me any questions you want.

Oooooh, yaaaay someone who got off the boat I'm sort of rocking along on! I knew i could find someone here.

Im just always curious when I speak to olderstudents...what spurred you on to go back to school? Is it just knowledge, was it realizing and fulfilling a goal? What was the thoughts that made you just go for it?

I think that the mortgage will be covered as long as i can find at least some part time work. But im worried no one will lend to me since i just signed a mortgage. Which leads to those hard to answer financial questions: how long did it take to graduate going only at nights? Were you taking a full courseload? Did you have to take out a large amount? I keep thinking about that 40k a semester price tag some schools have...and I just don't think I could deal with 240k more of debt, paying it down in 2.5 years sounds AMAZING! If I had even the slightest hint that I could pay it back even in 5 years I think I would be back to school already.

Was it hard transitioning back to a school type atmosphere? How did you prepare for the lsats (the first time scarred me pretty badly)?

 

[metall]

Why did you opt out of law school?

Life sort of just got in the way of itself honestly. I was going to take a gap year...that turned into 3. At year three the housing market blew up pretty badly here and while searching for a place to rent with my bf, we looked in the bank and realized hey we have the downpayment.

In theory I chose housing over school....something told me that if I came out of school w. law school bills a house would be another 10 years.

ETA: I have zero regrets about choosing the house over school. From a financial and family standpoint I dedinitely thought it was smarter

 

[nala]

Life sort of just got in the way of itself honestly. I was going to take a gap year...that turned into 3. At year three the housing market blew up pretty badly here and while searching for a place to rent with my bf, we looked in the bank and realized hey we have the downpayment.

In theory I chose housing over school....something told me that if I came out of school w. law school bills a house would be another 10 years.

ETA: I have zero regrets about choosing the house over school. From a financial and family standpoint I dedinitely thought it was smarter

Do you foresee other life events happening again? Kids? Etc. that might interfere with your plans if you go back to school?

 

[metall]

Probably kids if anything but I guess depending on how long school takes I don't think it will be the end all be all. My mom encourages me to go back to school, even offered to babysit. I guess I'm just more scared than anything, it's been a long time since I've been in a classroom.

 

[princessandthepear]

I can't comment on law school but I did return to college as an adult student. You will find focus and study skills come easier to you than traditional students. You also have experience, perspective and networking skills which you can utilize to your advantage. Does your place of employment offer any incentives or programs to help you attain further education? You may want to check with your potential college to see what if any financial aid or scholarships that you may qualify for and what your course of study would entail. I, personally, enjoyed my return to college. The only downside was that I found myself a bit lonely due to the time commuting and studying in addition to the demands of my regular life. There was not a lot of down time so free time activities were carefully planned.

 

[caf]

Metall - everyone gets stuck at time or another. You are not alone. Even if you were a lawyer, I am certain you would experience being stuck at one time or another. I have and I am a lawyer. It sounds like you may need a change and that you question whether you are valued at your firm. Because the job of a paralegal isn't going to change much - it is really good that you are asking yourself these questions. I think paralegals are essential, at least in the type of law I practice. I also don't think clients and firms get value from treating paralegals (or anyone) like "personal file couriers." (why do they have paper files anyway? so many questions about this - but not really relevant to your post) My advice is that you prep for the GRE and LSAT and take them both. I believe law schools have just started accepting the GRE. I would investigate state law schools, law schools that give out scholarships, ways to pay for law school, going at night and working part time, etc. I would figure out, with your grades and scores, what tier law school you could realistically get into. I also would figure out what you like and don't like about law. I personally wouldn't worry about saturation. Lawyers get hired by firms, corporations, Wall Street, government, courts, etc. There are so many things you can do with a law degree. There are also lots of jobs that value the skills a paralegal has but are not paralegal positions. You might look into risk management, contract officer at a company or university, firm administration, etc. Maybe switching firms would unstick you. Maybe taking up a new challenge outside the firm could. I know this is a bit of a ramble - but you can go to law school whatever age you are. I love (most of the time) being a lawyer - but it isn't for everyone. Best of luck. And congrats on your engagement and your house.

 

[arkieb1]

Go back to college part time and work part time. If you want to be a lawyer you will not regret it.

 

[PintoBean]

Hmmm $250k is a nice chunk of change that could lead to an earlier retirement. With the state of the economy in the US, assuming you're in the US too, advanced degrees don't always lead to higher pay.

What I think is great in your case is that you're already working in the field so you know what is in store for you, as opposed to a kid who can't find a job with their bachelors and prolongs the inevitable by continuing their education.

There is a bit of a stigma about night students. I did find that people who can juggle working and school and a family tend to be better at managing time and understand what they are sacrificing in the process so they are that much more driven. What was a bit discouraging was that students who were wait listed were offered seats in the part time evening program. While I worked during the day time, they studied. That really gave them an unfair advantage.

As for the LSAT, the first thing I'd do is call up your local test prep provider and find out when their next free practice test is. If you score well enough without a course, maybe you can self study. I took a Kaplan course but I'm a horrible horrible student. As soon as someone opens their mouth to lecture I pass out. What I found boosted my score was taking every practice test available. Back then it was available through Kaplan but if you opt not to take the course you had the option to order them directly from the LSDAC? I'm a dinosaur - I bet that's all free on the internet nowadays bahahahaa.

I also took the GREs and found that the LSAT prep got me ready for the GREs English and logic type sections and the math part I barely prepped for - I scored the same as my SAT.

For me, a JD helped me land jobs for sure. I'm no great beauty, i don't have a big rack, so my assets don't get me anywhere bahahahah. I'm also an introvert and super flakey - I finally talk without saying "like" between every other word. My MS-Eng plus my JD makes me stand out bc, according to a friend, I'm now one of those unicorns that are like a bridge between humanities and math and science bc people are usually one or the other.

Back to you - are you comfortable broaching the topic of continuing education with your manager? I know companies like keeping good people around, and maybe there's an opportunity to work out a flexible schedule to accommodate school and perhaps they can work out a tuition reimbursement program with you.

It's 2am so I'm a bit rambly lolol. If you can find me on LT you can always ping me and continue the discussion offline.

 

[rainwood]

Long-time practicing lawyer here, both in a large law firm and in-house.

1. The thing about being a paralegal is that you can never get promoted to lawyer. There isn't the kind of career ladder you can find in the corporate world because you have to have that J.D. to become a lawyer regardless of how good a job you do as a legal assistant. There can be some advantages to being a paralegal, but compensation and respect won't be at the same level ever.
2. Going to law school has ALWAYS been a roll of the dice. Getting a law degree has NEVER been any guarantee of a good job (or even a job) and that's even more true now. f you go to a top-tier school and do really well (like top 10-20%), you will have your pick of opportunities as long as you interview well. You can also find a fair number of offers if you are in the top 10-20% at a well-regarded local school as long as you choose to practice locally. You'll know what tier your school is in before you enroll (you should anyway), but you won't know how well you'll do, and that's such an important part of the equation. There can be job opportunities if you don't do as well or the school isn't as highly regarded, but they tend to be a lot fewer in number and pay a lot less.
3. Racking up $40k/year is a lot of money. You'd be coming out with $120,000 in debt you have to pay out of after-tax income and after living expenses. That's a lot unless you get a Big Law job that pays big bucks and you're able to start paying down those loans from the start. But there's no guarantee you'll get Big Law offers or that you'd be able to stand it. I don't even know if you live somewhere with big national law firms. And Big Law is definitely not for everyone. It chews up a lot of associates and spits them out. Many now go to big firms with the plan to get some experience for their resumes, pay down their loans, then go in-house, in the corporate world, or smaller firms after a few years. But again, only a small percentage of law grads get those kinds of offers, and if you don't it would be hard to pay off that $120,000 in a few years, especially with a mortgage. You could be staring at that loan balance for years, maybe decades.
4. The problem with night law school is that the schools who offer it tend to be lower-tier so it's harder to get a job coming out even if you do well. There are exceptions to that, but they are exceptions, not the general rule. And trying to work and go to law school is asking a lot. People do it, but academics can suffer and you really want to set yourself up to do as well as you possibly can because that affects what kind of job you can get after graduation. Is there a well-regarded law school at a state university where you could attend during the day and pay in-state tuition instead of $40k?
5. This sounds really negative, but this is a big expensive decision and I know several people (including a few on PS) who thought law school was not a good decision for them, mostly because of the debt load and realizing they didn't really want to be lawyers. You at least know better than most what being a lawyer is like in real life so are less likely to feel that way, but racking up a lot of student loan debt will dictate your life choices for a long time. You have to feel in your gut it's worth all that money and three years of your life.

I'm glad I did it, but I was lucky to get scholarships so I came out of a private school with almost no debt and was able to go into Big Law. I don't know if I'd feel the same if I'd racked up a ton of debt or didn't have much in the way of interesting job offers coming out of school.

Best of luck to you in your decision making!!

 

[Ally T]

I can't comment on law school but I did return to college as an adult student. You will find focus and study skills come easier to you than traditional students. You also have experience, perspective and networking skills which you can utilize to your advantage. Does your place of employment offer any incentives or programs to help you attain further education? You may want to check with your potential college to see what if any financial aid or scholarships that you may qualify for and what your course of study would entail. I, personally, enjoyed my return to college. The only downside was that I found myself a bit lonely due to the time commuting and studying in addition to the demands of my regular life. There was not a lot of down time so free time activities were carefully planned.

Sorry to threadjack, but why oh why can't I find a SMTB thread on your gorgeous avatar?? I remember you coming up with design ideas, but girl, you need to post a billion pictures of this ring from ALL angles!!

 

[missy]

Hi @metall, lots of wisdom in the posts shared here. My advice besides just echoing what was already shared here is if you want to go back to school and become an attorney do it. You aren't too old and the things we often regret in life are the things we don't do. As shared here there are different ways to do it and I agree if you can (and want to) find a good law school that has reasonable tuition and do it in 3 years as a full time day student. The 3 years will fly by and then you will have expanded opportunities ahead vs staying where you are now. If you think you would enjoy being an attorney just do it now. Time goes so fast. Good luck with whatever you decide and congratulations on your engagement and your home.

 

[baby monster]

@rainwood gave a thorough answer to your question @metall . I would study it, digest it and think through all the points raised.

As to your point about the value of paralegals, many firms prize good paralegals because they are essential part of the workflow. Perhaps your current place doesn't give as much responsibility so it would be worth looking at other firms to see if you can expand your horizons. You can also take classes to specialize in an area to increase your value to the employer.

 

[marymm]

OP, I think if you're not sure what to do, and you're feeling more like you're in a rut and disrespected at your current firm, then:

1. starting now, today, and then on a twice-a-week basis, check out the newly listed paralegal job opportunities in your area and if any of them interest you, apply "in confidence"

2. go ahead and explore taking the LSAT/GRE - doing the testing and receiving your results may give you insight to help inform your decision about going for a J.D.

3. Right now you work with a lot of attorneys - on a gut level, and of course you're just guessing, but do most of them/any of them seem happy and content in their job roles on a daily basis?

A good paying job is not easy to find, and job continuity and job security are significant factors ... I'd suggest doing what you can to ensure there's no "the grass is greener" stuff going on.

Sometimes when we're in a rut, just changing out the route of your daily commute or making sure you leave the office building at least once a day to walk around the block or bring in/going out for lunch can give us a fresh perspective on our lot in life.

While I'm not saying don't go for a J.D., I am saying only go for it if you're entirely clear that it is a true goal and desire for you ... between the money and the school/study time and the years involved of a tough schedule, as well as the possibility your paralegal salary right now may be more than your starting salary as a brand new attorney (unless you're a star at law school), maybe law school is one option for you but perhaps not the only option?

 

[nala]

I think you’ve been given great advice in this thread. I don’t know much about law but I do know about feeling stuck. Lol. I’ve been teaching for 21 years and I live in SO Cal where teachers are paid very well. I was lucky enough to buy my home when the market was great so I’m very comfy overall but I would never consider switching careers bc I’m working towards a pension. But also because i know it’s my calling and i know for sure that i wouldn’t be happy doing anything else. I have a masters and admin credential so I could be a principal but as soon as I consider that possibility, I know that I would miss the classroom. So when I’m feeling stuck in a rut bc of my job, I like to reflect on what I can do to challenge myself more and for me that means trying new lessons, etc Within a few weeks, I forget all about my rut. Lol. All this to say that only you know if law is your true calling. If you go home everyday feeling empty or unfulfilled bc of your job, then you owe it to yourself to go back. That said, I want to add that I also get a lot of satisfaction in my life outside of work. Sometimes looking forward to my trips, or major family events, etc. is what gets me through a long-term rut.

 

[LLJsmom]

If fear is the only thing holding you back, after you have considered all the other possible consequences and financial up and down sides, go for it. And now, before you have children is the time to do it. After you have children life is no longer about you. Don’t live with regrets and what ifs. Life is short.

 

[LaylaR]

My perspective.

I have a law degree and eventually was much happier working as a Contract Manager (which is something paralegals, not lawyers usually do) instead of a lawyer. And I've recently left even that to sell jewelry. With a JD. From Georgetown.

Why? Quality of life. Happiness. Look at the billable hours people in your firm work. Translate that into 'real' hours. And then add stress. And student loans. Do you still want it?

Right now the legal profession is gutted with lawyers and new grads. Many are out of work or under-employed compared to what they could have made 20 years ago.

You want respect? Don't put yourself through law school and then chain yourself to a path that leads to some of the highest rates of depression and anxiety of any career path. You should look into depression/anxiery and substance abuse rates among lawyers.

You can get lots of respect as a paralegal. Not in a medium or large firm, though. But in a corporate legal department as a Contracts Manager. Or working for a small boutique firm. Get specialized training into IP, like filing patents and things. Many paralegals who have specialized IP skills are sought after.

Here are some things to look into:
https://www.iaccm.com/

Look into some of these books (not just the one in the link but others like it)
https://www.amazon.com/What-Can-You-Law-Degree/dp/094067551X

NO ONE gets real respect at firms until they make partner. Firms are terrible places to work, which is why most lawyers escape as soon as they can. What percentage make partner? NO ONE is truly happy for their first four years at a firm. So that's 3 years of lawschool. And then minimum four years of hell. That's a minimum of seven years of unhappiness. More, especially if you add in the handcuffs of student loans.

Paralegals have great MARKETABLE skills. And no, they aren't respected in firm cultures. The solution isn't to become a lawyer though. It's to find a job with employers who respect you as a person. No matter what your title is.

Stepping off soap box now.

 

[KristinTech]

I’m going to make a completely different suggestion, and it’s just about the “stuck” feeling. Do something new or unusual for you... something you never dreamt you could do. I joined a beginner triathlon group a couple of years ago. I learned how to run at 40 years old. I bought a beginner bike, and I threw myself into this new hobby of mine. It opened up my world. I made a new circle of friends and acquaintances. It was (and is) a magnificent feeling to know I’m doing something I thought was impossible just a few years ago. Is there a hobby or “not work” thing you could devote energy to in the coming months to help un-stick yourself from your current thought processes? It may help you see your path more clearly. I’m not in the law world, so I’m not sure how much of a risk it is for you to try another employer. But it sounds like you are not valued there. That does not mean you would not be valued elsewhere! Good luck, it is a scary and exciting time to try something new!

 

[LLJsmom]

I’m going to make a completely different suggestion, and it’s just about the “stuck” feeling. Do something new or unusual for you... something you never dreamt you could do. I joined a beginner triathlon group a couple of years ago. I learned how to run at 40 years old. I bought a beginner bike, and I threw myself into this new hobby of mine. It opened up my world. I made a new circle of friends and acquaintances. It was (and is) a magnificent feeling to know I’m doing something I thought was impossible just a few years ago. Is there a hobby or “not work” thing you could devote energy to in the coming months to help un-stick yourself from your current thought processes? It may help you see your path more clearly. I’m not in the law world, so I’m not sure how much of a risk it is for you to try another employer. But it sounds like you are not valued there. That does not mean you would not be valued elsewhere! Good luck, it is a scary and exciting time to try something new!

I would so agree with this too. I started running at 36 and finished my first marathon when I was 40, eventually did 7 more. But watch out, endurance sports training addiction is REAL. but I guess there could be worse things to which you can be addicted.

 

[LaylaR]

One more thing:
Look up "Document Review" jobs... these are lawyers that for, whatever reason, are stuck doing temporary litigation support work. Most of them are trapped for life. Even if they work at a firm for a year, its as a temp.

You know who gets more respect at a firm than a document reviewer? Everyone, including the sanitation engineer who takes out the trash.

Lawyer does NOT equal respect.

 

[metall]

Hi all,

So so so sorry for the late response, I've been doing some home repairs and after ripping up my floors followed by a bout with the stomach flu, I didn't think i could muster the energy to type up a coherent response.

But I did want to come on really quickly to let everyone know how very very much I appreciate the responses and to let you know that in my dilerium I have taken all your wonderful words to heart.

I think the first conclusion I've come up with is that it is definitely not my personal life that's put me in my rut. When I'm not thinking of work or my career and I'm busy focusing on my life... My wonderful family, my friends, my house and my general experiences outside of the workforce/my career i realize I'm very happy and do lead a very fulfilling personal existence.

But when Monday comes around, I dread going to work. Not necessarily because my job is boring, though there are days with no work, but because I don't feel a connection to my job. I'm not utilizing my full skill sets and there are some attorneys I work with who have made my work and me feel small/insignificant. Is that a result of not working at the right firm? Or is that a result of just not meshing well with individuals in my office? I really can't tell. About 85% of my co-workers have been here 20+ years and they all seem content. Maybe that have accepted this position and I haven't? Maybe my ambitions are so much more than what I'm doing.

The thought of law school and a career change, though TERRIFYING does spark a lot of excitement in me. The idea of becoming an attorney is exciting, and does fall in line with my ambitions....but the worry does start rearing its ugly head after deep contemplation. Maybe it's not the law school that excites me...maybe it's the prospects that further education can offer.

These were just some of the thoughts I had in my mind this weekend. I will take some time to explore it further tonight when I'm not at work. I do want to respond to a lot of the comments above personally but I don't want to give rushed split second responses since they won't help move the conversation forward and may be more detrimental than helpful.

Thank you again to EVERYONE'S thoughtful and extremely helpful responses. This is exactly the guidance I was looking for and I can not tell you how much it means to me to have so many people have provided such very thorough great observations. Not to mention taking the time to help!

 

[metall]

Hi all,

So this might be a bit long but i tried to respond to everyone's comments the best i could. Some things i am still processing so im not quite ready or able to respond to. Also just an FYI I am still a bit ill so please excuse any thoughts that seem sort of run on.

There is still a lot of research, soul searching, and math to do. You have all given me a lot to think about and digest. Thank you every information for being so liberal with your support and advice!

@princessandthepear,

You bring up a lot of good points about returning to school. I definitely can relate to that idea that going back after having some life experience makes school easier. I took a spacer semester during undergrad because I wasn't prepared fire college straight out of high school. The skills i gained from even 6 months away Made finishing my undergrad so much more pleasant and fulfilling. I went from mediocre grades to graduating magna cum laude.

Your happy experience returning to school does give me hope that maybe what I'm looking for is the challenge. I'm not so worried about being lonely since I've already got such a great network of friends and family Who are very encouraging of my continued education.

I do think that a my biggest fears are the financial ramifications, though i guess it does depend on what i can get in terms of a financial package.

@caf

All very good points, i do some times wonder if the problem with my position is me, the practice group, or the firm. As a part floating paralegal i find that my secondary and tertiary practice group seems value their paralegals more, whereas my primary practice group attorneys treat their paralegals like secretaries or mail/file clerks. This does add to that not respected at all feeling, and i dread talking to anyone about it since it doesn't appear as if my feelings on matter are important. For example, i realized my Co paralegal in my primary practice group would go out of her way to say complimentary things to the attorney while sometimes putting herself down "oh miss-so-and-so you are absolutely so right. I shouldn't have tried to fix/do this without your guidance" or "i should have known better youre always one step ahead...etc etc." I dont need autonomy to do my job if they dont want me to have it....but i will not let someone put my ideas down and then talk bad about myself for trying to find a solution. Its just so against my nature.

Between your comments and some of the ones below it does give me a lot of hope that my desire to go back to school is not entirely misguided. It is good to know that a JD does not HAVE to be imply lawyer. I had always wondered what other jobs would view a jd as relevant course work and you've given me so many to look into, Thank you!

@PintoBean

Your journey sounds so awesome, i just want to say that as your story seems the most similar to mine, it's very inspiring.

Same for me I don't test well but i find that for standardized tests i can usually muster a decent grade. The last time i took the lsat (like 4 years ago) i scored 151 with no studying. Which makes me think that if i applied myself properly i could score decently to get into a decent school.

Broaching the subject of school will probably have to wait until i get accepted. There were specific expectations from my job that no further schooling would happen. Which is where my money anxiety comes from. I have never been one to get myself into a whole lot of debt, i paid off undergrad in 2 year, i paid my car off in 1....my house is on schedule to be paid off 5 years early. It's just the type of person i am, i dont take financial risks i cant forsee paying off in a early/ timely manner. I don't mean brag about my finances, as im no financial wizard. Its just that i see my friends struggles with moneu after making not so wiser decisions during their school years, and i really dont want to go through those same troubles in my late 30s vs my late 20s. Going back to school would be the first time that i 100% deplete my savings for something. Though i do forsee myself working through the schooling, and i have an old boss who would let me work part time/ flexible hours....but it still scares my socks off as the money wont even be half of what im making now. Though i do see it as a motivating factor to do very very well in school.

You hit the nail right on the head... 240 is a while retirement plan or another house in some states! It truely is my biggest reason to hold out on going back. Lol i sense a large theme in my posts...

@rainwood

Your post sounds exactly like the pros and cons list i came up with a few months ago. Both The reasons i keep putting it off and all the reasons to just take the leap.

I guess my deciding point will come down to whether i feel that i will come out of this with new financial prospects and my commitment to myself and this new career goal. Tough call and one i definitely dont plan on taking lightly. Its really part of why im taking advantage of all the wonderful people ive found here to start a conversation and hopefully make the "right" decision. But as with all things in life....what IS the "right" decision?

The stagnation of being a paralegal has recently weighed pretty heavy on me...I definitely feel like I've climbed to the top of my career at what i perceive to be a young age. I know career paralegals who have been in the Job 20+ years and are happy with their lot...i just dont know if i can be, which is why my future seems to be solidifying towards gaining more knowledge and upward mobility. The question is what path now that I'm 85% certain that i want more. Ambition is a hell of a drug!

@missy

Thank you so much for your encouraging words! Life is so so short when you look back and i 1000% want no regrets when im 90 telling the same 10 stories to my family! Your positive attitude is greatly appreciated in my currently negative headspace!

@baby monster

I definitely agree, paralegals are so important, at least i like to think so...but then again i am one so i might think more of the position than most. And definitely more than my current job seems to....though even at positions i was more highly valued at, i alwayd felt that i could be doing more, which was why i moved to my current job. My thinking was if a job is willing to pay more for the same position then they must value the position more right? Guess this was a grass is definitely not greener result. (See my response above to caf)

@marymm

Thank you for helping break down next steps. You are right that a large part of my problem could be THIS particular job. (See my response above to caf) and i definitely intend to explore ALL possibilities. I think someone mentioned taking both the GRE and the LSAT, which i think is a great idea. It broadens my horizon quite a bit as a masters or even a PhD in something else may help my desire for a more fulfilling and challenging career.

I definitely agree that there is a level of staleness in my career that i cant shake....afterall a paralegal is really the highest position in a law firm ranked only by years of experience. The terms managing paralegal or senior paralegal has always seemed like a fancy way of saying youve been here x years.

I dont feel like my current problem is caused so much by staleness of a routine, as a desire for more challenge. I say this because my personal life doesnt seem to be sufffering the same "rut" feeling. I am consistently excited for next steps and adventures outside of work. I go out for my full hour lunch and have taken to going to the gym on my breaks, just can't seem to shake the ugh feeling associated with my job.

Honestly, the attorneys i have interacted with are on the two extremes...those who are stressed beyond belief and seem to be in perpetual bad moods....or those who always seem content chugging along. But i feel like the split is really between those who have great home and personal lives vs those who have not so great personal lives to speak of. Maybe since i already have the great home life, i will fall into the latter category.

There is just so much to explore and im glad for so many such wonderful minds to explore my options with.

@nala

You are right....a great personal life is really the only thing getting me from monday to humpday to the weekends. I find that i look forward to 5:30 like no ones business...unfortunately, its so hard to do something spontaneous at my job. It is highly frowned upon to break routine, even creating a file label using a different font has led to a 20 minute talking to by others in the office. So i fall in line keep my head down and get my work done. Its not great but it does motivate me to explore more options...

Also i think its an absolute sham the way teachers are treated and paid. i want to say how amazing you are for sticking it out! It really takes someone so dedicated to be able to do what you do!

@LLJsmom

Thank you for your encouraging words! I am definitely sitting on the seesaw of pros and cons...but it is slowly leaning towards that change is good jump now side. But jump to what?!?!?!

Btw wow marathon running?!? That is so so cool. In terms of running i have the endurance of a fat cat trying to roll over....i am definitely a slow hike or long bike rides type of a person. But its awesome youve been able to so 8, so so amazing! (Id say keep it up...but you just said it was addicting so...i guess nuff said)

@LaylaR

I totally get your perspective and by all means stay on your soap box...i definitely need both sides in this discussion. Maybe ive been in too small of firms prior to this? I always felt paralegald and associates were always treated fairly at my previous firm though the money may be an entirely different story.

This is my first *big law* esque experience, and as my experience as a paralegal has not been positive i can definitely still say that there is favoritism. As for associates, it seems that those close with the named partners are definitely treated much better. The ones not "favored" do not seem to be unhappy or necesarily treated badly....just not given the same challenges and experiences.

Your experience does throw another side and view to the discussion and i very much appreciate your insight. Document review is basically my ultimate fear. Spending all that money to do document review would be a near total failure in my mind. Especially since ive been trained to review very simple briefs as a paralegal.

I know law is not for everyone and realistically being prepared for what awaits me is the only way to move forward. And quality of life is so important to take into consideration. Thank you for taking the time out to bring another level to this conversation, it adds so much value to have both negatives and positives explored.

I am definitely going to read through some of the books you recommended to see what else law school can lead to, and what my potential prospects are after.

@KristinTech

A wonderful suggestion! I actually just started weight training again as i always found time at the gym to clear my head. Im also thinking of yoga sessions during my break might help me find my woosa during particularly stressful days.