I read about mixing the vinegar and baking soda if neither had worked individually too, and had the same mental image as you.
I think most of the mildew smell is gone today. The vinegar smell though is quite prominent despite several clear water rinses. I am debating using some of this that DH brought home in the hope that it would help: Oxy Clean Odor and Stain Remover. It says it is colour safe. I also made him buy some Borax. But the colour safe bleach sounds like a longer term plan. Good luck! I hope you get vinegar smell out.
On the marriage front, I have repeatedly told DH to stay away from my clothes. This is not the first incident, or even the first this month. We have gone in this progression: 1) please don't wash my clothes - just leave them in the hamper (the shared hamper; after he shrunk every one of my nice t-shirts before we were married), 2) this is my laundry hamper. Please keep your stuff out of it and I will wash my own clothes (after he shrunk stuff of mine that accidentally didn't get sorted out of the pile when he was pulling his stuff out of the shared hamper), 3) Please stop putting stuff in my hamper (after he put a bunch of wet towels onto my dry clean only work clothes that I had in my separate hamper because I knew I would remember to pull them out to dry clean them, resulting in one of my favourite jackets being ruined), 4) Stop f-ing putting stuff in my hamper! (after he shrunk my favourite skirt two weeks ago because he had put sheets "temporarily" in my hamper because it had less stuff in it, then didn't see he had grabbed my skirt when he washed the sheets with bleach on a hot water sanitize setting - and then dried it in the dryer and hung it back up in my closet hoping I wouldn't notice that my midi skirt had turned into a mini skirt that would not zip up), LMAO! Talk about wishful thinking on his part. to 5) This is my hamper. I am putting it in a completely different room so you will never be tempted to put anything in it again. Touch it and die. (which is where he retrieved my clothes from, promised to wash them all in cold water and hang them to dry, and which against my better judgement I agreed to given that I was working over the weekend). If keeping your hamper in a separate room has worked, then I guess the trick is to resist the temptation to let him do your laundry and just live in unwashed clothes until you have time. I'm starting to think that this is either the only way he is able to passive-aggressively communicate his anger towards me or he has some kind of weird compulsion about doing my laundry. Now he is claiming that he forgets his laundry in the washer all the time (which might explain a few things about why the wash machine needs to be cleaned so often, as well as why I can't seem to get my sinus allergies under control despite copious use of antihistamines and steroid nasal spray). I'd be curious to know if you ever figure out which one it is.
I read about mixing the vinegar and baking soda if neither had worked individually too, and had the same mental image as you.
I think most of the mildew smell is gone today. The vinegar smell though is quite prominent despite several clear water rinses. I am debating using some of this that DH brought home in the hope that it would help: Oxy Clean Odor and Stain Remover. It says it is colour safe. I also made him buy some Borax. But the colour safe bleach sounds like a longer term plan.
On the marriage front, I have repeatedly told DH to stay away from my clothes. This is not the first incident, or even the first this month. We have gone in this progression: 1) please don't wash my clothes - just leave them in the hamper (the shared hamper; after he shrunk every one of my nice t-shirts before we were married), 2) this is my laundry hamper. Please keep your stuff out of it and I will wash my own clothes (after he shrunk stuff of mine that accidentally didn't get sorted out of the pile when he was pulling his stuff out of the shared hamper), 3) Please stop putting stuff in my hamper (after he put a bunch of wet towels onto my dry clean only work clothes that I had in my separate hamper because I knew I would remember to pull them out to dry clean them, resulting in one of my favourite jackets being ruined), 4) Stop f-ing putting stuff in my hamper! (after he shrunk my favourite skirt two weeks ago because he had put sheets "temporarily" in my hamper because it had less stuff in it, then didn't see he had grabbed my skirt when he washed the sheets with bleach on a hot water sanitize setting - and then dried it in the dryer and hung it back up in my closet hoping I wouldn't notice that my midi skirt had turned into a mini skirt that would not zip up), to 5) This is my hamper. I am putting it in a completely different room so you will never be tempted to put anything in it again. Touch it and die. (which is where he retrieved my clothes from, promised to wash them all in cold water and hang them to dry, and which against my better judgement I agreed to given that I was working over the weekend). I'm starting to think that this is either the only way he is able to passive-aggressively communicate his anger towards me or he has some kind of weird compulsion about doing my laundry. Now he is claiming that he forgets his laundry in the washer all the time (which might explain a few things about why the wash machine needs to be cleaned so often, as well as why I can't seem to get my sinus allergies under control despite copious use of antihistamines and steroid nasal spray).
A good test of whether this is passive-aggressive or just misguided doofus-ery is to remove the hamper from the equation. Stop using it for your good things and instead hang them back up in your closet so he doesn't see them unless he's actually looking for them. You'll remember what you wore that week but he is unlikely to. This will show whether he's being dense or being destructive, because no normal person would search your closet for things to ruin. A further test (which is horrible and totally passive-aggressive in return) would be to leave a small bag of Glitter in the pocket of your skirt.... if he washes it, there will be no hiding the results.
Wrote some comments in the quote box!
I read about mixing the vinegar and baking soda if neither had worked individually too, and had the same mental image as you.
I think most of the mildew smell is gone today. The vinegar smell though is quite prominent despite several clear water rinses. I am debating using some of this that DH brought home in the hope that it would help: Oxy Clean Odor and Stain Remover. It says it is colour safe. I also made him buy some Borax. But the colour safe bleach sounds like a longer term plan.
On the marriage front, I have repeatedly told DH to stay away from my clothes. This is not the first incident, or even the first this month. We have gone in this progression: 1) please don't wash my clothes - just leave them in the hamper (the shared hamper; after he shrunk every one of my nice t-shirts before we were married), 2) this is my laundry hamper. Please keep your stuff out of it and I will wash my own clothes (after he shrunk stuff of mine that accidentally didn't get sorted out of the pile when he was pulling his stuff out of the shared hamper), 3) Please stop putting stuff in my hamper (after he put a bunch of wet towels onto my dry clean only work clothes that I had in my separate hamper because I knew I would remember to pull them out to dry clean them, resulting in one of my favourite jackets being ruined), 4) Stop f-ing putting stuff in my hamper! (after he shrunk my favourite skirt two weeks ago because he had put sheets "temporarily" in my hamper because it had less stuff in it, then didn't see he had grabbed my skirt when he washed the sheets with bleach on a hot water sanitize setting - and then dried it in the dryer and hung it back up in my closet hoping I wouldn't notice that my midi skirt had turned into a mini skirt that would not zip up), to 5) This is my hamper. I am putting it in a completely different room so you will never be tempted to put anything in it again. Touch it and die. (which is where he retrieved my clothes from, promised to wash them all in cold water and hang them to dry, and which against my better judgement I agreed to given that I was working over the weekend). I'm starting to think that this is either the only way he is able to passive-aggressively communicate his anger towards me or he has some kind of weird compulsion about doing my laundry. Now he is claiming that he forgets his laundry in the washer all the time (which might explain a few things about why the wash machine needs to be cleaned so often, as well as why I can't seem to get my sinus allergies under control despite copious use of antihistamines and steroid nasal spray).
Never in a million years would i go through the effort of testing my spouse in this way. I would sit him down and have a real adult discussion with him about the issue. If I felt that I couldn’t reach him, I would realize that there are bigger issues than laundry going on and I would act accordingly, but it wouldn’t involve putting glitter in my pockets. This is just too much.
I read about mixing the vinegar and baking soda if neither had worked individually too, and had the same mental image as you.
I think most of the mildew smell is gone today. The vinegar smell though is quite prominent despite several clear water rinses. I am debating using some of this that DH brought home in the hope that it would help: Oxy Clean Odor and Stain Remover. It says it is colour safe. I also made him buy some Borax. But the colour safe bleach sounds like a longer term plan.
On the marriage front, I have repeatedly told DH to stay away from my clothes. This is not the first incident, or even the first this month. We have gone in this progression: 1) please don't wash my clothes - just leave them in the hamper (the shared hamper; after he shrunk every one of my nice t-shirts before we were married), 2) this is my laundry hamper. Please keep your stuff out of it and I will wash my own clothes (after he shrunk stuff of mine that accidentally didn't get sorted out of the pile when he was pulling his stuff out of the shared hamper), 3) Please stop putting stuff in my hamper (after he put a bunch of wet towels onto my dry clean only work clothes that I had in my separate hamper because I knew I would remember to pull them out to dry clean them, resulting in one of my favourite jackets being ruined), 4) Stop f-ing putting stuff in my hamper! (after he shrunk my favourite skirt two weeks ago because he had put sheets "temporarily" in my hamper because it had less stuff in it, then didn't see he had grabbed my skirt when he washed the sheets with bleach on a hot water sanitize setting - and then dried it in the dryer and hung it back up in my closet hoping I wouldn't notice that my midi skirt had turned into a mini skirt that would not zip up), to 5) This is my hamper. I am putting it in a completely different room so you will never be tempted to put anything in it again. Touch it and die. (which is where he retrieved my clothes from, promised to wash them all in cold water and hang them to dry, and which against my better judgement I agreed to given that I was working over the weekend). I'm starting to think that this is either the only way he is able to passive-aggressively communicate his anger towards me or he has some kind of weird compulsion about doing my laundry. Now he is claiming that he forgets his laundry in the washer all the time (which might explain a few things about why the wash machine needs to be cleaned so often, as well as why I can't seem to get my sinus allergies under control despite copious use of antihistamines and steroid nasal spray).
I am also newly married and my husband has done this twice in the first month! I just whine and complain and tell him to be more mindful. It hasn't happened since. He also hasn't done any loads of laundry since...hmmm...
@rainydaze thanks for the laugh! I love the notes of “somebody murdered me!” I might do that!
Now that I have calmed down, I can see that he really does try. I work way more than he does (I’m self employed and it often takes over my life) and he tries to pick up a lot of the slack at home. He feels that this is a big part of his role in our relationship (even though there are clearly times when I wish he didn’t). He’s just a bit inept and he doesn’t think these things are as important as I do (not being a woman he truly doesn’t understand that it’s more complicated than just running out to the store and buying 6 of the same shirts of a certain brand and collar size like he does - he has bought the same pants and the same shirts from the same store our whole marriage). When he tries to cook we’ve had some doozies of dinners too. The worst is he thinks he’s good at it and that he’s taking care of me (and he’s pretty proud of being a supportive husband). I seem ungrateful if I complain. Which I want to do often!!!
This week my laundry was left alone. Progress is being made!
OP, perhaps order this book for your DH from your library or Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Laundry-Comforts-Caring-Clothes-Linens-ebook/dp/B002XQAARC so he can do his own laundry better and leave the machines in good order for you ... and hold fast to your house rule of "hands off my hamper and my laundry"
And, since your DH is taking care of meals, see if there are any cooking classes in your area?
And what is the deal with guys ruining nice kitchen towels (and to a lesser extent washclothes)? My ex would take my nice crate and barrel or Williams Sonoma kitchen towels to wipe up a spill or use as a rag, while ignoring the basket of rags right next to them! I don't understand why this is so difficult.