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Laides, I need your help please

D

damons

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jan 21, 2010
Messages
101
I know this is long, but please read it. I really need your help.

Let me start by saying that I never in my life thought I would buy an engagement ring. I am gay and I have never been the type of girl that wanted an engagement ring. I have also never dated anyone that wanted one...until now.

My partner and I have been together for over 3 years and I know without a doubt that she is the one for me. We have discussed getting married and she wants to be proposed to like anyone else. This is wonderful because I really want to propose to her. I have tried to go to stores and look at rings, but it seems like as soon as the salesperson finds out that the ring is for another women, I get the cold shoulder. Because of this, I spent the last 6 months educating myself and have bought a ring from a PS vendor that is due to arrive on Monday (6 days). To say I am excited is the understatement of the year. But there is a bit of a hiccup...

We have talked about rings and she has always said that she wants a solitaire with a basic 6 prong setting. She knows that our money is a little tight and she would rather the money go toward a nice diamond than the setting. Besides, she loves the classic style of the 6 prong tiffany setting. Also, she said she would rather have a smaller diamond that sparkles instead of a large diamond that doesn''t. I can appreciate that.

So I bought what I think is the best ring that I could find within my limited budget. It is a 1.02 carat, H color, ideal cut SI1 diamond in a six prong setting. I think the diamond is beatiful and she is going to love it. I have a picture if you want to see it.

But here is the hiccup:

A friend of hers just got engaged. She was telling me about the ring and how the setting had the little baguettes all around it. She was saying how much she loved that look because it makes everything look more "sparkly". Well, I thought I was going to die when she said that. Did I mention that the ring is due to arrive in 6 days??
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Now I don''t know what to do. I have a surprise romantic weekend planned for us next month and that is when I plan to propose. Now I am nervous that she won''t like the ring I got. Part of me feels like she will like whatever I give her and I need to chill out. But the other part of me wants to give her the ring of her dreams. But if I change the setting, I need to save more money and will have to change everything. I don''t think I can wait any longer!

Am I being crazy?? Should I just give her the ring that I got and leave it alone? Should I give her the ring and tell her if she wants a different setting, we can change it?? Help!
 
She thinks you are still in idea mode. Obviously she knew what she wanted from the beginning. Not a ring like her friend''s. She''s doesn''t want a ring just like hers - she wants whatever you picked out for her. That is exactly what she wants. It also happens to be what she has already described as liking so I give you big applause for listening and taking her preferences into consideration. She''s going to love whatever you present to her - but I have a feeling what you picked out is going to be absolutely perfect. Congratulations!
 
I wouldnt change the ring you got! It came from your heart and she will love it and if you decide after the proposal to discuss a different setting then its no big deal! Dont sweat the small stuff! Good luck with everything
 
Oh yeah and PICS pleaseeeeeee


~I live vicariously through all of you with rings lol
 
Thank you so much for your replies. You are right...this ring comes from my heart and I think she will love it. I guess I am just really nervous. Here is a picture of the ring. Obviously, that is not her hand, but you get the idea.

I''ve never attached a pic on here before, so I hope it works...

IMG_07312.jpg
 
Its soooo nice and that setting is perfect... really shows off the stone! dont forget as an option for more sparkle when you get married you can add a wedding band w/ baguettes or whatever her taste may be!
 
Thanks. I was thinking that also (about the wedding band). I was also thinking that I could get a ring wrap/guard with baguettes also. I really appreciate your help. Thank you
 
It''s beautiful. She''ll be blown away.
 
Don''t change a thing.

I like MANY different ring designs. I admire them on PS all the time. I LOVE my own rings and it really is not like any of the ones I admire.

She said before exactly what she liked. That does not mean she cannot also like other elements she sees. But that does not mean she wants them all (and one that combines them all would turn out looking rather odd I am sure!).

Besides, down the road, when money is not so tight, you can always change the setting together if you like!
 
She''s going to LOOOOVE the one YOU picked and YOU made for her!!
Good luck to you. The ring is beautiful!
 
She''ll love it! Promise! I did the same thing to my DH before we got engaged. I had NO idea that he had worked on a ring already and after a visit to a local jeweler one day (I was researching a project for my mother) I called him all dizzy with emotion and excitement because I had tried on my very first antique stone. It was SO flipping amazing and made me swoon that I had to call him and tell him. Little did I know, the ring he had purchased was sitting in our house! He just said, "Oh ok, I''ll look into it!" and then we moved on. I apologized to him after we got engaged for that outburst about the antique stones and he said that it wasn''t a big deal and he knew I would love what he had gotten me since I had given input on that ring (months before). Sorry for the ramble, but my point is that I''m sure she will love what you''ve chosen since its what she asked for in the first place. You can always get her a sparkly wedding band! That ways she has the best of both worlds.
 
I think the ring you got her is gorgeous! Congratulations! I''m sure she''s going to LOVE it..
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Also, I''m sorry about the ignorant salespeople. I''m happy you didn''t let them rain on your parade! Yay for getting engaged!
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Thank you! To be honest, I was kind of shocked by the ignorant sales people. I live in a large metropolitan city and I expected them to be more open minded.

Not to mention the fact that the economy is down and I was willing to spend my money at their store. Oh well...it''s their loss.
 
The ring is gorgeous! She''s going to love the ring, seriously, do not change it.
Besides, she can get a wedding band with stones on it if she wants more bling.

I bet your nerves are just getting the best of you. Everything is going to be wonderful. She''s going to love the ring, and you''re going to come back here with an awesome engagement story to tell! YAY!!!!
 
I''m shocked at the sales people too. It''s Definitely their loss. Pre-PS, I went ring shopping with a gay friend and while you could see the sales people took a second to figure out why the ring was meant for another girl, they were nothing but nice and helpful afterwards.

Anyways, what you have blows All of their stones away, I''m sure. Congratulations!
 
Gorgeous ring!! I really think she will love it. I think its a classic and elegant look.

Baguette/step cut halos are actually a pain in the butt to have made (do a search for them) and here is the most recent thread I could find on the topic link. But, if she does really want one, its something you two could always consider for an right hand ring!
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I hear your pain (and am in a similar situation-- thanks for posting in my proposal thread!). But, it''s wonderful that you know what kinds of rings she likes. I had to totally wing it 100% and my doubts are getting the best of me. Oops, enough about me.

Your GF will absolutely LOVE this ring. Baguettes, pave, extra sparklies can be added on later. Those are not reasons to delay an engagement! And since the setting you chose is so classic and timeless, she can easily add on extra sparklies by getting a diamond wedding band. Or, she can upgrade her setting on your first anniversary. You have many neat options and she is going to be STUNNED by that gorgeous diamond! I''m so excited for you (yay for another gay LIW, LOL!).

What are your proposal plans? I wanna steal any/all romantic ideas, heheh
 
Yep, I''m with the others on this, it''s gorgeous and she''ll love it! Sparklies can always be added later on, this ring is classic, timeless and elegant! (and poo to those ignorant salespeople
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It's beautiful!! Relax. She wants the ring she wants, not a replica of someone elses. You did a great job, it's a stunning, classic ring.

Aaaaand, seeing as how this is PS, yanno what makes things more sparkly? WEDDING RINGS! Oooh yeah, your poor wallet
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Those salespeople...morons
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OMG that diamond is gorgeous!! She is absolutely going to LOVE this! I have a specific style that i know I want but I still like many other styles and point them all out to my SO but he knows my first choice. If thats what she said she wanted first trust me, that is the one. That diamond by itself sparkles more than most other rings with diamonds around them. It is such a beautiful diamond I wouldn''t detract from it with any other diamonds. Great job and PLEASE keep us updated. Congratulations!


P.S. I thought you said something about having to get a small diamond. That diamond looks huge without being gaudy and really sparkles. I''m so jealous lol
 
I don''t think a 1ct stone comes under most peoples understanding of "small".
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I''m surprised about how the sales assistants acted but it was all for the better really becuase you probably got a MUCH better diamond and a MUCH better deal online then you could in any of those stores.

She''ll love it, come back and let us know how the proposal goes.
 
She is going to love it. It''s lovely, and it''s coming from you! Great job!
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thank you. I am glad that you all like the stone. That is the picture that was sent to me by the jeweler. I can''t wait to see how it looks in person.

4ever...I completely agree. I never thought that one carat was small until I found Pricescope. I have to remember that my partner has no idea was PS is, so she thinks a carat is big. I think she will be happy with the size, but she has made a comment about preferring a smaller stone that sparkles instead of a bigger stone that doesn''t. I found a bigger stone that sparkles, I think. I will let you know on Monday.
 
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Beautiful!
 
Date: 4/28/2010 7:57:44 PM
Author: damons
thank you. I am glad that you all like the stone. That is the picture that was sent to me by the jeweler. I can''t wait to see how it looks in person.

4ever...I completely agree. I never thought that one carat was small until I found Pricescope. I have to remember that my partner has no idea was PS is, so she thinks a carat is big. I think she will be happy with the size, but she has made a comment about preferring a smaller stone that sparkles instead of a bigger stone that doesn''t. I found a bigger stone that sparkles, I think. I will let you know on Monday.
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GOOD LUCK!!! How are you proposing? I''m so nosey ;) But I''m such a GIRL and love this stuff!
 
I agree with everyone. There are plenty of rings that I like, but it''s much harder to find THE ring for me. I think she''s already been specific in telling you what she really wants, and it sounds like you have that on the way! Sounds like I have similar tastes to your GF, too. I may drool a little over more ornate, fancy settings, but at the end of the day, I tend to like simplicity for myself.

Good luck on your proposal! I''m sure she''ll love it. Oh, and mean salespeople suck. I know this isn''t the same thing at all, but we''ve run into them when they find out that we''re not READY TO BUY SOMETHING THIS INSTANT. If I heard a salesperson being difficult to someone buying a ring for their same-sex partner, I would be out of that store in a second.
 
It''s gorgeous!!!! I''m sure your FF will love anything from you because it''s from YOU!!! Good luck!
 
Thank you all so much! I am so glad that I found this forum. I am so nervous about proposing, and this is a great outlet.

Speaking of the proposal, nothing is set in stone, but I do have a tentative plan. I will put it out there, and I am completely open to suggestions. I am not girly at all, so I would love to hear some opinions.

Here is the back story. I bought tickets for us to see Joel McHale at the Borgata in Atlantic City. For those who don''t know, he is a comedian. He hosts the Soup on E! and he is a show called Community. My partner LOVES him and has no idea that he is going to be in the area (we live in Philly). So I bought the tickets months ago and booked us a room at the Borgata. She loves Atlantic City and has always wanted to stay there, so I''m pretty sure she will be very excited. I also made us reservations at Wolfgang Puck''s restaurant, which I think she will also really like.

So we all have our vices, and hers is cupcakes. There is local bakery near our place that makes hands down the best cupcakes in the area. So the plan is to get them to write on the cupcakes, "Her name, I love you. Will you marry me".

I made an appointment for her to get her hair done the morning of the show. I will drop her off and pick up the cupcakes. We will go to atlantic City, check in to the hotel. We will likely hang out and maybe do a little bit of gambling before dinner. We will have dinner and then go to the show. After the show, I will suggest that we go up to the room for a cupcake. I will put the box of cupcakes on the table and ask her to open them while I get something. She will open the box and read the message. I am assuming she will be shocked and it will take her a minute to realize what is happening. I expect that she will turn around to look at me, and by that time I will be on my knee. I will say something romantic and propose.

I know that to many people, proposing in a hotel room with cupcakes may not sound romantic, but I know for sure that she wants a private proposal, and everyone that knows her knows her love for cupcakes...so I think she will like it.

As of now, all she knows is to not to make other plans for the day, but that is it. I told her we have tickets to a show, but she has no idea what kind of show it is.

I''m thinking that I am going to tell her this weekend about the show. She is not a huge fan of surprises. She likes to know what''s going on so she has something to look forward to. Also, I think it would be good for my mental health to tell her because it would be one less secret to keep. I don''t want to make it too much of a big deal that she gets suspicious.

Thoughts?
 
I think your proposal idea sounds great!

Believe me - it need not be over the top or in public to be wonderful or cherished or wonderful!

My own proposal came via a text message from my husband while I was in our bed falling asleep and he was being admitted into an emergency room in another province (he was on a 3-week trip). I would not change a thing about my proposal (and love my proposal story!) and it is far less "romantic" than your plan so I think you will be fine! It really is about the feelings behind the action that make it special.
 
She will love the ring. Don''t change it! And don''t worry about it.
I like your proposal idea a lot, and I''m sure it will be a very special and unforgettable moment! Keep us updated!
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