Ladies-In-Waiting Part III

[goldengirl]

Welcome back, girls! It''s a whole new year and a whole new thread for the patient, faithful ladies!

Here''s to 2005 being the year for ALL of us!!

gingerBcookie
goldengirl
cute330xigrl
1215n
LaurenThePartier
jenwill
denverkat
psuheather
twinkletoes
ootthibo
pokerface
blueroses
madarski
VAgal13
aeli
Morticia
icekid
LuvthatSparkle
Kberly
KimberJEB
kit0110
Queenofhearts
Dodger Gurl
honeynut
stacy11101
Erin
Dani
appletini
lovey
LittleOne
Shay
Croi
happysnowbunny
dancinbaby
AMALEEKEL
razza21
Binki
NoonersMom
kasih
blue824
kellypooh24
ammayernyc
SJS1234
jennyt
sistagrl2004

Cheers!

 

[goldengirl]

How To Post Pictures!
(MANDATORY, when you get to cross your name off!!

)

If the picture is on your computer, click the "attach file" button above the box where you compose your reply. Make sure the file has a unique name and is a jpg or bmp and meets the size limitations. Browse your computer for the correct file and click "upload". Voila!

If the picture is on the internet, some people have had luck with a copy-and-paste technique but I believe the easiest thing to do is find the URL for the photo (left-click on the photo, select "properties", and copy the HTTP:// address listed), then click the little button that looks like a mountain above where you compose a reply. Paste the URL into the appropriate line (you''ll see it) and click OK.

You can only upload one photo at a time from your computer, so if you want to put more than one image per reply you''ll have to use the second method.

Hope this helps!

NOW LET''S SEE SOME BLINGAGE!!

 

[MelissaSue]

I will post the alumni list.. just so I can be the first girl besides GG to post in the new thread!

Ladies in Waiting Alumni!

Jean
lsmathis1
Mari
mostlywatching
Audrey Hepburn
ChooChoo
MelissaSue
msbennie
Bethanying
JennaJ
sparkler29
chialea
reena
stellamarina
1215n
JCJD
JKohio
tlmd
kaya
njc
ivanadiamond
rfath
Tybee
firerock
tulipcloud
jenwill
yanekie25
sciencegeek
dietvanillacoke
heartprongs
Innerkitten
Kayla17
Palmbaybabe
FlyerFan

 

[rfath]

Happy New Year!

(just to keep nudging at the thread...)

 

[honeynut]

"Dear Ladies-In-Waiting..." People are starting to refer to us as a collective resource for romantic advice! A-la Dear Abby, etc. Seriously, I think this is so cool. I sociolinguistically predict that, over time, we will come to be be referred to as the Ladies, LIW''s, then phonetically nicknamed Lou.

 

[appletini]

honeynut...you are so right...maybe one day we will be mentioned on Oprah or Dr. Phil!

 

[allycat0303]

Hi everyone,

I have to agree that this board offers everything. Ok so, I see that there are no engagement stories yet (a little disappointing).

I broke up with my boyfriend. This has been a very, very hard day for me. Basically on the 31 st, I was determined to be alone, but he showed up at my house, pleading with me to be with him, because he had all these special plans. So I went with him, but I told him it was useless because we would end up breaking up on the 1st or 2nd anyway. In any case on the 31 st, I got really, really sick. Food poisoning or something. In any case, I was still sick on the first, and I guess it was his behavior that really got to me. I mean he stayed with me at home and played video games while I slept. But I don''t know... there was no interaction between us. I just felt like he should have done more. Or done something different. I don''t know what. I just know that when he is with his friends, he''s more engaged then that!

In any case, this morning I told him that it was over. In eight years together, this was the first time I have ever said that to him. He got teary eyed, tried to talk it out with me, and then just got angry. He said I had used him until I made med, and now I was just going to hook up with a doctor. That I already had a guy lined up to replace him. (This ISN''T true at all). So I took all my stuff from his house and went home. I told him (nicely) to respect the way I feel and that I didn''t want him to try calling me.

I am really scared. I know that sounds stupid, I mean why should I be scared? It''s just I''ve been with him for 8 years. I don''t even know how I am going to get over it. And eventually (in a VERY long time) going back into the dating world? I wouldn''t even know what to say or do. What a depressing post! Sorry ladies. I need to vent. I literally have no one to call for support. I really hope that someone has a happy ending to post so that I can be cheered up a bit!

 

[MelissaSue]

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... ally.. *HUGS* - I cannot even begin to imagine how you must be feeling, but we are here for you, and you will get through this!

Melissa

 

[appletini]

Allycat: Big Hug!!! Breaking up is never is easy (no matter what side you are on), but I commend you for your strength and courage b/c walking away from 8 years isn''t easy. And if you are going to spend the rest of your life with someone you need to be excited about it. I know I walked away from 5.5 and it was the best decision I ever made (from some of what I''ve read about your relationship, it sound similar in some aspects to me old one). I know right now it will be hard you b/c you are giving up your best friend and becoming single is a lifestyle adjustment.

For starters stay busy so that you don''t have time to think about it too much. Going with the clean break was also a very good thing (out of sight, out of mind). Stay busy with school (I''m sure that won''t be hard) and meet new people and make new friends. Also during this time take the time to reconnect with your old friends. Just have fun right now and enjoy this time to be selfish and not have to worry about someone else. When you are ready to date again you''ll know, but don''t feel like you have to rush into it, but being in med school I''m sure that you will lots of hot doctor''s on your waiting list.

And you know that we are always here for you when you need to vent, etc.

Think of this as a good new years resolution!

 

[Erin]

Ally

I''m sorry to hear that your relationship has ended. However, I''ve given advice to many friends over the years and it usually comes down to this...I''m so certain I have found the right person (the one) that I''m excited to move things forward. I can''t wait to experience the rest of my life with him. Sure, there are things about him that I don''t like, but I haven''t had a doubt about him. What''s even more comforting is my trust that he feels the same about me. That''s what makes us work - we''re both certain without a doubt. Even if it''s at the moment you''re in your white dress, the caterers paid for, dad on your arm and you are walking and you still have doubts about the person you are with.... don''t do it.

 

[cute330xigrl]

Awwww Ally! Hugs from me 2. I have to agree w/ appletini. And congrats on making the right decision for YOU! So often people make the mistake of sacrificing too much for another person and forgetting about themselves. I say good for you! Good for not being consumed by the comfortability of a long-term relationship and loosing yourself w/in it. Perhaps this will be an eye-opener for him and you both can find yourselves again on that common ground. But if not, remember :

That's "OK" too.

All the best,
Christina

 

[palmbaybabe]

awww ally - lots of hugs for you hon. I don't have much advice to offer you that hasn't already been said but I do want to say that I really admire you for your courage - 1st for having the strength to break things off and 2nd for coming to the board for support so soon. I know that if it was me I would have crawled in a hole for a few months.

May you have a good year!

 

[irishcaroline]

Ally: You are very brave and if this is the 1st time you have been pushed to actually telling him its over then maybe it is meant to be over. Their is no point in anyone in here telling you, dont worry and your gonna be alrite because frankly you will worry and you aint gonna be alrite for the next few weeks or however long it takes, but at the end of the day losing someone so close to you that has been such a big part in your life for a long period...HURTS! like hell it does!...but time is a healer and it makes you stronger, and i learnt this through losing my mum in 0ct 2004. She is something that can never be replaced, but a boyfriend is...all in good time! Take care and keep busy!

Caroline ::hugs::

 

[blueroses]

Hi Ladies!

My first post on the new thread.....Honeynut, that would be very cool--us becoming our own little phenomenon....books, tv appearances, self help books on tape....

Oh, Alley, I am SO SORRY

Hang in there, and just trust yourself here, one way or the other. You are so strong, and you are not alone. Big Hugs....take care of yourself, and stay really busy.

 

[goldengirl]

Oh, alley.... I know you must be hurting right now, and I know everybody is probably doubting your decision, but I very strongly believe in a woman''s intuition and I know that if my gut''s telling me something I don''t understand that I should still do my best to listen. The one time I ignored it I paid a heavy price for it. (Early on in my relationship with The Ex, he asked me if I saw us being together a really long time. My stomach cramped and my instinctual response was "NO!"... surprised and a little annoyed by it, as he was a prime catch and I''d worked hard to get him, I said of course and spent the next three years falling all over myself to prove every day that I was worthy of him before realizing HE wasn''t worthy of ME.)

I was dating another guy concurrently when I first started dating my fh, and he was "perfect"... he was educated, literate, politically inclined, he was interested in new age spirituality (just my style), he was handsome, charming, polite, had a good job and his own house and was on good terms with his family. I couldn''t stand him. Something about him just set my teeth on edge. But I kept dating him, because he was the type of guy your mom would love you to bring home, right? He was perfect and I couldn''t understand why I didn''t like him, but I kept trying to like him because I thought I should. Anyway, I finally gave up and decided for whatever reason, he wasn''t right for me, and that''s when I really got to know fh, who is the best thing that ever happened to me.

This is long but my point is simple: for whatever reason, you don''t feel that your relationship is what it ought to be... and it''s perfectly okay to want out because of it. ((hugs))

 

[Blue824]

Allycat: So sorry about the break up, but I''ll just reiterate what everyone else said, it was the right choice for you. You''re one step closer to finding the right guy for you.



I''ve been slow in reading, since my bf is in town...he''s still asleep, so I have a few minutes!

To Croi, Appletini & GG: Thanks for the stories where you were also put in situations that you felt the marriage was totally wrong. I don''t think my friend is in any harm physically, but this guy is totally whipped, changed, ditched all of his friends for her. She has changed drastically and left most of her friends behind as well. She talked about engagement with every single bf she''d ever been with and this proposal was due to an ultimatum she gave after less than a year of dating. There are a lot more fishy things about their relationship too. I do wish her happiness, and for her sake, maybe we''ve all judged him wrong. And the same thing as one of you said, as much as I''d want to help her if she was in trouble, she has hurt me so much by canceling plans, making no effort to stay a tons of other things that I am starting not to care. But it hurts to lose a friendship that was so good before.
Appletini: About the guy that''s engaged to the girl who hits him INFRONT of his friends...has anyone said anything to him?? If it was a girl being slapped around by her bf, I think people would''ve gotten involved. Its still abuse.


Alright, I better go make my bf wake up so he can take advantage of his few hours with me before he needs to go back to the airport!


Ooh! and congratulations to Flyerfan! Your ring is so pretty!

And welcome to Jennyt! I know my proposal still won''t be for a while, but we''ve started looking...and this group is fun to read!

 

[Queenofhearts]

Allycat:

It is normal to be scared. It takes time to mend. Surround yourself with good friends and take on a new hobby to keep yourself busy. I have found out from personal experience that things happen for a reason and there is always a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Sometimes we have to weather out the storm.

Good Luck to you.

 

[sciencegeek]

Ally, we''re all here for you! I know it''s hard right now, but everything tends to work out for the best in the end. Whenever I was getting over a breakup I would use it as an excuse to be absolutely selfish and self-indulgent. Skip breakfast and eat ice cream for lunch... why not? Wear jammies all day... perfectly acceptable. Watch Sex and the City DVDs for 3 hours straight... great idea

I agree with Goldengirl- your gut is always right. I''ve never regretted doing anything my gut told me to do. Except maybe eating McDonald''s french fries when hungover, ick

 

[goldengirl]

So does anybody else think we''ll be hearing from the NYE proposees tomorrow when they have to go back to work??

My bosses are in Hawaii all week so I''ll have PLENTY of time to hang out!!

 

[fortheloveofdiamonds]

Oh Ally Sweetie! I know your heart must be aching. Breaking up is hard to do, especially after all these years. You will get through this sweetie. All the ladies will help.

Many Blessings!

 

[blueroses]

FTLOD, thank you for not one, but TWO officespace treats to brighten my day!!!

 

[madarski]

Alley:

I''m so sorry to know that you are going through such a hard time. Sometimes it seems that life throws more at us than we can handle, but you must stay positive and just keep putting one foot in front of the other. You are an intelligent and independent woman, and you have so much to be positive about. Believe it or not, time does heal. I lost two children in the past year, and there are times when i felt so scared that I could not find any happiness in my life, but with time and the support of friends (like us ) things eventuallly started to look up. Please know that we are all here for you, and stand by your decision, as difficult as it is. Keep smiling girl...........

 

[appletini]

Blue: after she slapped him the 2nd time (in March) they all told him that he needed to end it. Well I think he told her that she needed to shape up. I haven''t heard of any major fights between them since then. But she also has other connections to the group b/c she went to high school with some of the other wives. She briefly dated my BF before she dated her now fiance (my BF and her guy used to be roomies). Of course my guy realized right away what a nasty temper and controlling personaility she has so he said Adios.

I just dropped my BF off at the airport so he''ll be back in Brazil for another three weeks.

Oh well hopefully the time will fly.

 

[sistagrl2004]

Me too. Please add me to the ladies in waiting club! I have been watching the list for a while.. hope I would not have to post. I am now in the position where I am choosing the setting.. SOO part of the "wait"is on me. Hopefully we''ll figure it out BEFORE Valentines day.. I kind of want a day all my own! Here''s a pic of what I WANT.. but w/ a princess as the center.. What do you all think?

 

[appletini]

Welcome Sista! Good luck finding the perfect ring, it can be hard with so many options, but its kind of like finding the right guy, you just know.

 

[blueroses]

Apple, I'm sorry you just had the airport goodbye, it is always so wrenching

The next few weeks will fly, I"m sure!

(Lovey, to answer your earlier question, yes, my BF and I are long distance at the moment, but it's kind of an odd situation: I live in his hometown (NYC) and he's in mine (San Diego) with each of us very nearby the other's parents. We were living together in NY but circumstances brought him back here about a year ago. We see each other a lot, but it has further delayed the engagement, I think, even while it has totally crystalized for both of us that it's what we want, which is weird.) And I've been here in SD for almost 3 weeks now b/c of my dad and everything....and think I may be moving back here soon, though I'd wanted to wait on that until there was a ring--just on principle--but now it looks like my family really needs my help, etc.

Alley, how are you? You are on my mind today, and I know it's hard.

Madarski, oh my goodness, I am so sorry for your losses. I know it must be beyond description. But you are right, time does heal.

p.s. Welcome Sista! I think that will look lovely with a Princess....or whatabout a princess with sidestones that aren't round? Like trapazoids or something? Or smaller princesses?

 

[goldengirl]

GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY!!!

Sista, I will be glad to add you to the list if you promise to post more pics of that BE-YOO-TI-FUL ring!!!

 

[allycat0303]

Hey everyone,

Thank you so much for the unending support. I read all of the posts and I am so fortunate to have this board. All of you are wonderful. Basically I slept most of the day away (not because I am tired) but because I was really down and no one was home so I couldn''t talk. I decided that sleeping the day away would be better.

When I woke up, my sister was home and we had a long time (she is my best friend). She thinks that I am losing my mind. She acknowledges that I have been unhappy this past month, because he has been taking me for granted but she doesn''t think I have given him a chance to work it out, or even vocalized that I was unhappy with his behavior. She thinks it is insanity to throw away 8 years without a fight. Now I am confused. I am usually very good at communicating the way I feel but I am starting to wonder if I was unfair to him. He''s called me about 10 times, but I haven''t answered the phone. I need time to figure out what is going on with me. I don''t, unfortunately have any gut feeling about him (being with, or without him). I know that I really love him, and that he really loves me, but I know the way the relationship is right now doesn''t work for me. I haven''t always been unhappy. It''s just some small details that have been occurring this past month, that are adding up. I don''t know. I am confused. My sister thinks it has to do with some of my "issues". Jeez. That makes me sound crazed.

Madarski: I can''t imagine your pain. Truly. I admire your strength, that you were able to go on. It makes me feel a bit ashamed that I let something like this affect me this way. I wish I was stronger.

Blue824: I am sorry to hear about your friend. It must be very difficult to lose a friend. I think that all you can do is wish her well. If they break up, she may come to you for support and it will be up to you to decide if you forgive her for pushing you aside. I think sometimes, love (even potentially hurtful love) can be all consuming.

Sciencegeek: I had pizza for supper. It had bacon and smoked meat as toppings. I think you can imagine the grease that is floating through my blood. Oh and mickey mouse shapped chocolate mints. The whole bag!

Appletini: How long will he be in brazil? Is this a long distance relationship?

Palmbaybee, Cute330, Irishcaroline, Blueroses, Queen, GG, forloveofdiamonds, Thank you so much for taking the time to write to me.

SO WHERE ARE THE NYE PROPOSALS????

 

[kasih]

Happy New Year Ladies! You can cross me off the list. My stay has been short but very sweet. Yet, I''ll continue to lurk around to get all kinds of great advice!

My man proposed to me this weekend in the very romantic San Antonio on the riverwalk on New Years Eve. The christmas lights and music made it so beautiful. Here are some pics of the ring. He had it made for me...Platinum setting with channel princess cuts on the side. Center stone is 1 ct. F, VS2, princess cut. He also had a matching band made with the channel princess cuts which is beautiful but he wont let me wear that yet! It also has a very cute little suprise diamonds on the sides but I can''t seem to take a good picture of those. (Ring size is 6.5)

I am sure we''ll have fun reading some other New Year''s eve proposals at work on Monday, but I thought I would get a head start!!

 

[kasih]

here is another pic: