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jukester

Rough_Rock
Joined
May 27, 2003
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3
I''m planning on proposing to my girlfriend within the next few months and have a pretty good idea as to the kind of diamond i want to get. But the ring setting is the problem. She''s very particular about most things and I know this will be no different. My thought was to propose with a loose diamond or one in a temporary setting and then to go and choose the actual setting together afterward. I think she''d be really happy to have final word on the ring itself. Please let me know what you think. Thanks.
 

Adrienne

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Feb 15, 2003
Messages
120
Take a look at this thread:

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/best-way-to-present-ring-get-setting-or-not.6835/

(sorry, don't know how to make the nifty link thing)

I think almost everyone prefers the idea of a temporary setting!
 

Lanee

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jan 29, 2003
Messages
534
Okay, I recently read on a thread that when this particular couple replaced the temporary setting with the permanent setting they felt like the stone looked a lot smaller and she felt different about it and she had a 3+ carat emerald cut. Was that on this forum? I don't know that I would want a temporary setting. I have a few considerations though. If I was going to go temp I would go white gold to save the money since the temp setting is only temp it doesn't have to be plat. Also, I would try to get something a little wider than a standard tif style so that when I have it reset it will either look the same size or if I should pick a thinner setting, it will look bigger. Just a quick thought, I might have to give this idea more thought.
 

deejay

Rough_Rock
Joined
May 29, 2003
Messages
3
That is a very creative and unique way to propose! Since you know she would like to have a say in the final choosing of the permanent setting then by all means do it the way you described. A non-standard way of asking her to be your bride....lucky lady! Good luck!
 

Keef

Rough_Rock
Joined
May 30, 2003
Messages
3
I know I'm not a lady but I know where you're coming from on this one. My girlfriend likes things done in a particualr way (see "when Harry met Sally"!) and its no different to the way her ring is going to be. Maybe you could ask "rhetorically" in conversation about what styles of rings she likes, or maybe just happen to look in the window of a jewelers and point at rings you both like. Also, ask her friends, sister (if she has one) and mother about what she would like. All this combined info should give you a pretty good idea. By getting it right you will score super points from not really doing too much work!

For some really nice design ideas check out www.cooldiamonds.com

Good luck!
 

StarfishNYC

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jul 29, 2003
Messages
3
if you think they will keep it quiet, you could ask her sister/friend. it quite possible she's already filled them in (i know i have!); if she hasn't, you could always ask them to create some sort of way to find out what she wants, but the my send up a red flag to your girlfriend, so beware on having others ask about. otherwise, I would go with a temporary setting. I would rather have to pick out my setting after a fantastic proposal than pick it out and wait to be "surprised" with it.
 

diamondlil

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 8, 2003
Messages
2,405
The temporary setting idea is perfect. Since she is particular, she will really enjoy selecting her setting WITH YOU after the official engagement. I recently purchased a new diamond and was so excited about the diamond I could not even think about settings. The jeweler I purchased from gave me a choice of several very simple gold settings (at no additional charge) so that I could wear my diamond and ponder the setting choices later. Now that my head is clear (I think I am over my hyperventilating), I can think about what I really want.

Good luck with your proposal.
 

Evalina

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jul 6, 2003
Messages
17
Hi Jukester,

I was totally involved in the choosing of my diamond and setting. So although I got exactly what I wanted, I did kind-of miss out on the romance of 'surprise'. Ideally, I would have loved to be proposed to with a loose diamond and then go immediately to the Jewelers to choose the perfect setting. A temporary setting probably wouldn't be a good idea for me personally because I can be quite sentimental, and then I might feel inclined to keep the diamond in the temp setting just because it was part of the proposal. All the while thinking "it's not quite to my tastes but it means so much to me".

-Just my thoughts on this one.

Good luck with the proposal
 

glitterata

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 17, 2002
Messages
3,621
If you propose with a temporary setting & she feels sentimental about it, maybe you could put the diamond into the setting of her dreams and put an inexpensive stone like a garnet or amethyst--or her birthstone, if she has an inexpensive birthstone--into the temporary setting. That way she could still wear it, but she'd be able to pick her ering setting.
 

nbrock

Rough_Rock
Joined
Aug 20, 2003
Messages
15
interesting that there seems to be so much consensus on the temporary setting. don't any of you ladies like the idea that your bf/fiance will spend/spent a lot of time thinking about what the ring would look like? it's a symbol of his undying love for you, but he couldn't figure out what it should look like??
 

diamondlil

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 8, 2003
Messages
2,405
Hello nbrock.

Personally, no. Although my husband of 17 years and I have very similar taste in jewelry, I would prefer to make that decision together. I'm not fond of surprises when it comes to jewelry. That is part of the excitement -- looking at the options, trying on the choices, and finally making a joint decision. But again, that is just my way in general. I'm sure there are many women that would prefer a big surprise. It is definitely a personality issue.

Diamondlil
 

aljdewey

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 25, 2002
Messages
9,144

----------------
On 8/25/2003 8
1:37 PM nbrock wrote:
don't any of you ladies like the idea that your bf/fiance will spend/spent a lot of time thinking about what the ring would look like?
----------------

Yes and no.

Yes, it's sweet that he would spend his time trying to fashion something that I might like.

No, I would not prefer his *guessing* about something that I'll be wearing for the next 50 years just because he wants to surprise me with the proposal.

It's important to separate the "thought" or emotion of the purchase from the actual "item". The best way I can illustrate this: my BF's car lease is about to expire, and he's in the market for a new car. He's very fussy about the "look" of cars.

I wouldn't presume to go out and "surprise" him by buying a new car for him. Yes, it would be very sweet of me, and yes, my wanting to please him would mean something to him on an emotional level. But if I unwittingly picked a car he dislikes (like a PT cruiser), I'm sure his enthusiasm over my thoughtfulness would be tempered by the fact that he really doesn't like the car.

If I wanted to surprise him with a new car, I'd wrap up a car key, let him open it, and take him to pick it out. I see the temporary setting as the same thing. It lets a woman wear the diamond immediately (which nearly every woman wants to do immediately after being proposed to), but it also lets her select something that will take her breath away 30 years later because she still likes what she picked.

 

Balustroid

Rough_Rock
Joined
Aug 16, 2003
Messages
44
Hello jukester,

Being very particular about most things myself in the world that we live in, I would prefer to be proposed with a loose diamond, then I would look on the internet for some ideas on the setting. I would want a custom made setting, something personal, probably with my intials & his initials engraved inside the shank. But if that's too much to ask, I would go for a Michael B setting, with pave diamond setting all around on the shank (do a search on Mara's Ring and you'll see the ring)! That is so custom made and I would be a very happy girl.
 

valeria101

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Aug 29, 2003
Messages
15,809
This is a funny post! I believe there is no decision to be made though...since it can be replaced by a carefully staged process. All the swetest! If you ask this question here, it is clear that you do not know already what her prefered setting would be. Perhaps SHE does not know already either. Now, here is the process I had in mind: get a stone (some type of brilliant cut is probably of universal appeal, either square or round, or why not one of those alternative H&A square cuts?). Show it to her loose and schedule a nice walk throughout some jewelry district to let her choose the setting. This could be the first common project after your proposal... and sounds like a pleasant start to me!

Otherwise? Well, get the simplest setting which would let her choose a matching wedding band to compose the appearence of the ring+band she wants. This version is only good if your girlfriend does not have small fingers. For example, I could never stack rings on my size 3 finger without fealing their 'bulk'...

Hope this helps... it is the advise of a picky fiancee who also happens to be a rock&gem afficionado!
 
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