Ladies - brutal honesty please......

[Pushin40]

So this is the deal. I''ve always been fairly "big" since I was a kid.

I have compeltely commited to myself there is NO WAY I will get married this October with this body. No way. I have lost weight before, and I can do it again. Starting today!!!

Anyways, since my wedding is in 10 months, I am DYING to go dress shopping.

Which leads me to my question:

As a size 14/16 am I going to be able to try on anything? Are all the sample dresses size 10''s? The last thing I want to do so get myself all bummed out and disgusted with myself if I''m just pouring myself into something too small. I mean - that''s no fun.

But I don''t want to delay either. And how am I supposed to get an idea of how soemthing looks on me if it''s 3 sizes too small?

I also had a friend tell me that losing weight won''t be an issue since I''ll need alterations anyways. So if I get a size 14 gown and lose 30 or 40 pounds, will this be OK? We''re talking a couple dress sizes.

I guess what I''m asking iis should I wait to go dress shopping?

 

[katamari]

How much weight are you thinking? Because that, to me, makes all the difference in terms of how I think about it.

If you are thinking 10-20 pounds, then I would go shopping now. Alterations can be made on this type of loss, and I think this is much more common. It is also likely that your body shape may not change significantly, which means the style of dress you pick out will still be the best for your shape.

If you are thinking 30 + pounds (i.e. a major loss), then I would wait. In this type of loss, you are more likely to have a significant change to your shape, and the same dress style that looked good on you before may not be your preferred style. Plus, you will likely be excited to loose this type of weight and will want to shop to dress this new body. At this point, too, alterations will start getting expensive, which will make buying a new dress enticing.

Something else to consider is that loosing 30+ pounds means a new wardrobe (even undergarments) which is a substantial cost, and, given how budget consuming weddings can be, it is something you might want to also start saving for.

As long as you start shopping, say, 7 months out, you should have time--especially if you are fine paying for expedited processing. You will also know how your weight loss trajectory is going at this point and can be honest with yourself about where you will be in terms of your goal by the time you marry.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

If you''re 14/16 now, a 15-30lb loss means you could be as small as a size 6 when you''re done, depending on where you lose the weight. I don''t think you should shop just yet. Get a jump on your weight loss and then start looking. Use it as motivation to drop the weight.

 

[caribqueen]

The other thing to think about is if you order a dress now at your current size, are there some shops out there that will charge you more because it''s more material?? Then you lose the weight and could waste your money.

It''s still early. You should see how the weight-loss plan goes for the next 2 - 3 months then re-evaluate. In the meantime, you could start doing research on some shops/designers that you think you might like to try on and find out the turnaround time for their dresses. Some places will say a few months, but others like where I got mine could say 6 - 7 months.

 

[emeraldlover1]

I lost a fair amount of weight from the time that I bought my wedding dress. About 20lbs. I ordered a size 10 and my dress was altered to the store size 4. The dress was fine but had I known that I could lose that amount of weight I may have picked a different dress. I didn''t want to count on it so I ordered the dress early. I tell you this because I think you have a few months (2) to start your weight loss before you need to order a dress. I would personally do that.

 

[Liane]

First: congratulations!

Second: please be sure to lose the weight carefully and sustainably. Crash dieting for a wedding is a recipe for disaster and yo-yo''ing to an even bigger size afterward. You probably already know this so I apologize for the repetition, but it is much much better to go slow and steady and permanent.

Third: I agree with the other ladies'' opinions and would, in fact, suggest that you wait until you''re about six months out to start dress shopping in earnest. There''s no harm in taking a look before that, but I would not put money down on anything until six months from the date. That gives you plenty of time to have the dress made before the wedding, but also gives you some time to lose the weight and, as importantly, be sure that the lifestyle changes are lasting before you lock yourself in financially.

After four months you should have a pretty good idea of what your progress is and whether you can maintain those changes for the rest of your life (because, again, this should not be a short-term thing, but a series of permanent steps to improve your quality of life). Two months is a good start but not, IMO, enough time to be sure that you can do it for the long haul. If you can do it for four months, you can do it forever.

 

[tlh]

I''d probably wait 6 weeks, and see what weight you are at that point and how dresses fit, and go from there.

Before my wedding I lost only 3 pounds... and had to have my dress taken in over 2 inches each side... so the actual # of pounds lost doesn''t always equate to inches in clothing... and how it could affect your shape.

I''d probably start browsing though to have an idea of material and what style tends to suit your fancy...

 

[ChargerGrrl]

Ditto to the posts telling you to wait a bit and see how your weight loss progresses.

Something to consider is what type of dress you''re looking to buy- not style, but type. Most designer dresses take time to order, whereas you can buy a simpler dress off the rack as shops such as Alfred Angelo.

I too have struggled with my weight and was a tight size 12 when i got married. Dreaded going dress shopping, but finally did 6 months before the wedding. Walked out with a dress off the rack. It fit perfectly, and I sometimes wonder if I shot myself in the foot as it didn''t give me ANY motivation to lose weight.

I''m not telling you to buy a dress 3 sizes smaller, but buying it a bit snug/1 size smaller may give you the extra incentive you may need!

Good luck

 

[honey22]

Please dont'' go shopping yet! And not for the reasons you stated, I believe a woman is beautiful at any size. But if you are going to lose that much weight, you don''t want to get a gown now for two reasons. What suits your body shape now, may not suit it later with the excess kilos lost, and some gowns just can''t be taken in that many sizes without ruining the overall effect (not to mention the cost of alterations!!) If you do get to your goal weight, you open up a lot more options IMO. You can go for something more fitting and figure hugging if you want, and you will have no idea of what they will look like until you get closer to where you want to be.

I lost 35kg before my wedding (over 70 pounds) so it can be done sweetie!!!! You can do it if you put your mind to it and give it 100%. I wouldn''t have picked the gown I did had I bought it 20-30 pounds ago, and there was no way it could have been taken in 3-4 sizes without ruining it.

 

[miraclesrule]

My answer is no. Hold off.

You''re right about not wanting to bum yourself out and the others are right about you waiting until you see how the weight loss progresses.

If you plan to lose 30 pounds, it can have a HUGE (pun) impact on the style of dress you choose. Some dresses look completely different when altered too much.

Having said that...it never hurt to go out and start looking at dresses and prices without actually trying them on. That might even jump start your weight loss and keep you motivated for the first few weeks.

 

[sonnyjane]

I agree with everyone else that you should wait until you've lost some weight. You'll have so many more options open to you, and you won't have to worry about massive alterations. Also, when you finally do go to try on dresses, please don't be upset about the sizing of some gowns! I know it was tough for me to try on dresses because wedding dress sizes are so inflated. I was normally an 8, and some of the "size 12" dresses in some styles were still way too tight, so I left the appointment feeling a little less than awesome. That has NOTHING to do with you and don't let it upset you or hinder you in your weight loss goals! It's just a stupid thing wedding dress companies seem to follow and I have no idea who it benefits lol!

Good luck!

 

[zoebartlett]

Date: 12/28/2009 1:20:07 PM
Author:Pushin40


As a size 14/16 am I going to be able to try on anything? Are all the sample dresses size 10''s? The last thing I want to do so get myself all bummed out and disgusted with myself if I''m just pouring myself into something too small. I mean - that''s no fun.

But I don''t want to delay either. And how am I supposed to get an idea of how soemthing looks on me if it''s 3 sizes too small?

I''d wait a while and see how much weight you''ve lost before going shopping. In answer to your questions though, yes, you will definitely be able to try on beautiful dresses in larger sizes. I was a plus size bride, but I''m also really short, so nothing looked right on me until alterations were done. I was really nervous about it, but I worked with someone who made me feel special in everything I tried on, and my weight wasn''t an issue.

 

[Pushin40]

Thank you all so much for the comments!

I am on day two of eating healthy (just day 2.... but it''s a start!) Seriously - I feel better already after all of the Christmas grazing....I think I lost 3 lbs in just water/bloat overnight!

I think what i will do is go out browsing, and see what''s out there so I can get an idea about prices and choices. I do have an idea of what I want and quite frankly, I doubt I could pull off the stye without losing at least 20 pounds (mermaid-ish style, strapless)

I''m super motivated!!!!! Now I need to get this butt back on the tradmill (I am not an excersizer, by nature)

So I''ll look, but no buying! The wedding is in October so I have time. I think by mid Feb I''ll have a good idea on how I''m doing and what my target weight could be before the wedding.

 

[miraclesrule]

It has always bothered me the way we size bridal gowns in the U.S. People who are normally size 2 have to order a size 6.

It seems to me that the vendor who sized her gowns the opposite i.e. size 0 wedding dress for the size 2-4 gal, etc...would be the one to win the most devotees.

 

[Gypsy]

I''m a 14 and was when I got married. Wedding dress sizing runs small... so a 10 in wedding dresses is a 6/8 street size and it can be a really deflating experience. I highly recommend waiting till 6 months out to go shopping.

 

[FrekeChild]

I bought a dress that was 2 sizes too small. I have since lost 25 pounds and now fit into the dress.

I do not recommend this.

Around July I had this revelation and was like, "CRAP I have a wedding dress to fit into in JANUARY!" so I have lost the 25 pounds in the past 6ish months mostly due to diet. I HAD to though. I bought the dress without seeing it in person or trying it on, but I knew from the shape that it was a safe shape for me to wear, skinny or not. And I was really picky about a dress, but basically found my dress by chance. But I got it knowing that it didn''t fit, and knowing that I had to lose weight to fit into it.

I look back and think how stupid that was. Lol.

So I''d start losing weight, and once you''re on board with some weightloss under your belt, then go try on dresses. Then wait until the very last minute to make a decision and order.

 

[girlygirl29]

I agree with all these ladies...however, I have some input on the diet. This is just an opinion as some will think its controversial or unhealthy, so take it as just experience.

I gained 55-60lbs with my DD, who weighed 6lbs12oz. I was a yoga teachear and in fabulous shape at 127lbs and 5'8 prior to that. Man did this extra weight really mess with me at a time I was trying to just learn to be a new mom. I lost a good amount right away, maybe 30lbs. I tried eating healthy and exercising when i could to work on the rest and it wouldn't budge. I went to a dr, an md yes,and he put me on the HCG diet. You know when you read signs that say 40lbs in 40 days, well they are likely talking about this diet. I did a half course, which was 21days and I lost 16lbs. I have kept every single pound off. I didn't finish the full course to get my ideal weight bc I got a respiratory infection and decided to stop at half course. I have keep every single of those pounds off and I don't really restrict my eating. I know several people that have done the diet under doctor supervision- FI, my dad, friends. Heck a friend now has a very successful business in Texas consulting people on the diet.

A couple things- yes its restrictive in calories, but no you do not feel deprived or hungry after the first 2 days. It just changes the way you have to interact socially for a period of time. Eating is social, so that part is tough. I would recommend this to someone who needs to lose 20-40lbs and wants to keep it off. One more thing- if you google this diet you will see daily shots. Don't let that scare you, there is also a gel. I essentially rubbed a small amount on my wrists each day and followed the plan. I think no matter what area you are in you can likely find a weight loss center that will employ this type of diet.

Ok that's all, I just wanted to share a success I had that may or may not be a fit for you. Please don't bash this as I hesitated to post it. But I just think back to how great it felt to lose that weight and feel myself again. I will likely do another half course in January to lose 15lbs to get myself into the same place you are aiming for- ready to dress shop!

Here is a link to info on the orginal diet- http://hcgdietinfo.com/HCG-Diet-Information.htm
But I would google hcg diet and your city to find local resources/drs/weight loss centers to guide you


Good luck!

 

[Pushin40]

Date: 12/30/2009 1:42:02 PM
Author: girlygirl29
I agree with all these ladies...however, I have some input on the diet. This is just an opinion as some will think its controversial or unhealthy, so take it as just experience.

I gained 55-60lbs with my DD, who weighed 6lbs12oz. I was a yoga teachear and in fabulous shape at 127lbs and 5''8 prior to that. Man did this extra weight really mess with me at a time I was trying to just learn to be a new mom. I lost a good amount right away, maybe 30lbs. I tried eating healthy and exercising when i could to work on the rest and it wouldn''t budge. I went to a dr, an md yes,and he put me on the HCG diet. You know when you read signs that say 40lbs in 40 days, well they are likely talking about this diet. I did a half course, which was 21days and I lost 16lbs. I have kept every single pound off. I didn''t finish the full course to get my ideal weight bc I got a respiratory infection and decided to stop at half course. I have keep every single of those pounds off and I don''t really restrict my eating. I know several people that have done the diet under doctor supervision- FI, my dad, friends. Heck a friend now has a very successful business in Texas consulting people on the diet.

A couple things- yes its restrictive in calories, but no you do not feel deprived or hungry after the first 2 days. It just changes the way you have to interact socially for a period of time. Eating is social, so that part is tough. I would recommend this to someone who needs to lose 20-40lbs and wants to keep it off. One more thing- if you google this diet you will see daily shots. Don''t let that scare you, there is also a gel. I essentially rubbed a small amount on my wrists each day and followed the plan. I think no matter what area you are in you can likely find a weight loss center that will employ this type of diet.

Ok that''s all, I just wanted to share a success I had that may or may not be a fit for you. Please don''t bash this as I hesitated to post it. But I just think back to how great it felt to lose that weight and feel myself again. I will likely do another half course in January to lose 15lbs to get myself into the same place you are aiming for- ready to dress shop!

Here is a link to info on the orginal diet- http://hcgdietinfo.com/HCG-Diet-Information.htm
But I would google hcg diet and your city to find local resources/drs/weight loss centers to guide you


Good luck!

THANK YOU girlygirl! I''m glad you posted this - I''m totally intrugued and will check it out right now.
I''m pretty open minded about things like this.....

 

[Pushin40]

Date: 12/29/2009 9:38:11 PM
Author: FrekeChild
I bought a dress that was 2 sizes too small. I have since lost 25 pounds and now fit into the dress.

I do not recommend this.

Around July I had this revelation and was like, ''CRAP I have a wedding dress to fit into in JANUARY!'' so I have lost the 25 pounds in the past 6ish months mostly due to diet. I HAD to though. I bought the dress without seeing it in person or trying it on, but I knew from the shape that it was a safe shape for me to wear, skinny or not. And I was really picky about a dress, but basically found my dress by chance. But I got it knowing that it didn''t fit, and knowing that I had to lose weight to fit into it.

I look back and think how stupid that was. Lol.

So I''d start losing weight, and once you''re on board with some weightloss under your belt, then go try on dresses. Then wait until the very last minute to make a decision and order.

OH OY! Yeah I considered buying a dress that''s too small - as an incentive - but I''m seriously way too chicken to do taht!

 

[Smurfysmiles]

I personally think it''s fine as long as you have a good seamstress. Everyone told me it would be impossible to alter my dress if I lost weight...and I did! I would say we had to take off almost 12-14 inches around the dress at the top and waist and it looked fantastic on the day of. Maybe I got lucky- I don''t know. But from my personal experience, I would say go for it and have a great time!

 

[swimmer]

Date: 1/1/2010 5:44:00 PM
Author: Smurfyimproved
I personally think it''s fine as long as you have a good seamstress. Everyone told me it would be impossible to alter my dress if I lost weight...and I did! I would say we had to take off almost 12-14 inches around the dress at the top and waist and it looked fantastic on the day of. Maybe I got lucky- I don''t know. But from my personal experience, I would say go for it and have a great time!

True Smurfy, but you said that your alterations alone cost $2,000... Sorry, I just remember because it is exactly 10xs what I paid for my dress.

Pushin, I would wait, bodies change so much with weight loss. You will love different things about your new figure and will want to show off new things! I think many of us had an idea of what we wanted and walked out with something very different, weight change would just confuse the process. Oh, and yes, it is no fun standing with your butt hanging out of an unzippable size 6 sample... Good luck with healthy weight loss!

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Biggest rec as for trying on things..call the salons ahead of time. I was a 22/24 when I went to try on dresses and most did not have sizes for me to try on, but one salon in particular had a-line 18s that would at least go on me if that makes sense. But MANY had 14/16s in my area..the more upscale ones had fewer of anything over 10.


ETA: I would NOT recommend buying a dress planning to lose weight. I did this and found out the specific dress I bought could not be altered that much if I lost like 20+ lbs. I didn't have a lot of alterations done..but she had to redo beadwork just for that. Just my advice..maybe lose 5 lbs, but try to stay the size you are when you buy the dress.

 

[Winks_Elf]

Let me remind you of something...your fiance loves you as you are! As you''ve said, you''ve been a fuller figured gal all your life. Do not beat yourself up!!! You are who you are.

That being said, I have always had curves. I put on weight during the winter months, and shed most of it during the spring. Right now I am about 5''9, weigh 178 pounds, and wear a size 12. At 145 pounds (that was 3 years ago, after my ex walked out on me, his newborn and the rest of our children), I wore a size 6 and looked emaciated. At 160 pounds, I wear between a size 8 and 10, depending on the cut. Keep in mind that the number on the tag does not define who you are as a person.

Maggie Sottero, Sottero & Midgely, and Demetrios gowns are most flattering to my figure, and although the Demetrios gowns run small, the Sottero gowns run most true to size from my experience. If you go to a really good dress shop, they will have larger size samples. Dresses with a corset back are more forgiving. Ballroom styles will accentuate a defined waist, or give you one if you don''t have one!

Wait a few months, and go gown shopping in late March, early April. That''s plenty of time for you to sensibly change things in your diet to shed a few pounds, as well as do a few things like daily walking, exercises at home, etc. Cut out sodas (including diet as they just leave you bloated and with a hankering for sweets), processed crap like white breads and other starches, increase your water intake as well as fresh or steamed veggies (steamed make you bloat less...fresh veggies increase abdominal bloating), and include whole grains into your daily diet. Remember...he loves you for who you are, not what he''s hoping you''ll look like in the future!

(((BIG HUG!))) and congratulations on the engagement!

 

[nkarma]

Date: 12/28/2009 2:05:14 PM
Author: Hudson_Hawk
If you''re 14/16 now, a 15-30lb loss means you could be as small as a size 6 when you''re done, depending on where you lose the weight. I don''t think you should shop just yet. Get a jump on your weight loss and then start looking. Use it as motivation to drop the weight.

Not true for my body. I was a 14 and lost 25 lbs and am now a 10/12.

 

[shertz1981]

Date: 1/4/2010 1:25:36 PM
Author: nkarma

Date: 12/28/2009 2:05:14 PM

Author: Hudson_Hawk

If you''re 14/16 now, a 15-30lb loss means you could be as small as a size 6 when you''re done, depending on where you lose the weight. I don''t think you should shop just yet. Get a jump on your weight loss and then start looking. Use it as motivation to drop the weight.

Not true for my body. I was a 14 and lost 25 lbs and am now a 10/12.

Yup, a lot depends on your bust size and bone structure.

Stop beating yourself up, Pushin40 -- focus on the positive. Go try on dresses -- a size 14 can fit into a sample 10! What they do is put the dress over your head and then clip a modesty panel (like a plain piece of white satin) into the back so it covers you completely. They can also clip you into a size 20, which will be much too big.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Date: 1/4/2010 1:25:36 PM
Author: nkarma

Date: 12/28/2009 2:05:14 PM

Author: Hudson_Hawk

If you're 14/16 now, a 15-30lb loss means you could be as small as a size 6 when you're done, depending on where you lose the weight. I don't think you should shop just yet. Get a jump on your weight loss and then start looking. Use it as motivation to drop the weight.

Not true for my body. I was a 14 and lost 25 lbs and am now a 10/12.

I'm sorry, that's how it worked for me. I lost 30 lbs and went from a 14 to a 6. It all depends on where you lose it and your natural body shape.

 

[Pushin40]

Date: 1/2/2010 1:05:34 AM
Author: Winks_Elf
Let me remind you of something...your fiance loves you as you are! As you''ve said, you''ve been a fuller figured gal all your life. Do not beat yourself up!!! You are who you are.

That being said, I have always had curves. I put on weight during the winter months, and shed most of it during the spring. Right now I am about 5''9, weigh 178 pounds, and wear a size 12. At 145 pounds (that was 3 years ago, after my ex walked out on me, his newborn and the rest of our children), I wore a size 6 and looked emaciated. At 160 pounds, I wear between a size 8 and 10, depending on the cut. Keep in mind that the number on the tag does not define who you are as a person.

Maggie Sottero, Sottero & Midgely, and Demetrios gowns are most flattering to my figure, and although the Demetrios gowns run small, the Sottero gowns run most true to size from my experience. If you go to a really good dress shop, they will have larger size samples. Dresses with a corset back are more forgiving. Ballroom styles will accentuate a defined waist, or give you one if you don''t have one!

Wait a few months, and go gown shopping in late March, early April. That''s plenty of time for you to sensibly change things in your diet to shed a few pounds, as well as do a few things like daily walking, exercises at home, etc. Cut out sodas (including diet as they just leave you bloated and with a hankering for sweets), processed crap like white breads and other starches, increase your water intake as well as fresh or steamed veggies (steamed make you bloat less...fresh veggies increase abdominal bloating), and include whole grains into your daily diet. Remember...he loves you for who you are, not what he''s hoping you''ll look like in the future!

(((BIG HUG!))) and congratulations on the engagement!

AWW WinksElf - You are SO SWEET! Thanks, Hon!

I know he loves me for me. I just want to unleash the inner skinny goddess

and this is the best incentive ever! Really, if I went down to a size 10 I would be a total ROCK STAR! I''m not overly flabby, just big overall and I have a good shape to work with. I honestly carry it well, considering my weight.

I''m not beating myself up at all - I actaully made a conscious decision a LOOOONG time ago to CHOOSE not TO HATE MYSELF. And I don''t - I am what I am.

I''m trying to motivate myself. I really want to look like a princess on my wedding day and I know I will!

 

[deegee]

I lost 61 pounds in 2009, and went from a too tight size 16 to a size 4/6. I lost weight in places I didn''t even realize I carried weight, and even lost a shoe size! My body shape is completely different - I didn''t lose as much in my chest as I would have liked to, and I lost a lot more in my legs/hips than I thought I would. I''m having to buy clothes in completely different cuts and styles than I used to. SO-if you try on dresses in your current size, you might be surprised how they look on you if you lose weight and try them on again in the correct size later. (I hope that made sense)

Good luck, and I hope you find the dress of your dreams!

 

[OUpearlgirl]

Wait on it!

Many stores should have a wide selection in the size of gowns, but I can''t account for all! I would start looking in 6-8 weeks. By then you should know where you are losing weight, how quickly, and what is possible. I also don''t think it would be terrible when you are buying the gown, if you are between sizes to go with the smaller gown. Good luck!! I''m sure you are going to look gorgeous no matter what!

 

[museikchik]

First of all I just wanted to say congrats on wanting to be healthier. The dress size is going to depend on the style of the dress you decide on. I am 5''4" and weighed 175lbs on my wedding day. The dress that I originally wanted was an A-line and the only size I could fit into was a 16 which was sort of a bummer. When I went to try on more dresses I ended up trying on a corset back just to please the bridal consultant but ended up loving it. I fit into a 10 but it was a little snug so I ordered a 12 just in case for some reason I gained weight before the wedding. The dress fit me perfectly and I didn''t need to alter it that much. I think it would be a good idea to start looking at dresses because I had the style of my dress picked way in advance but when I tried it on, it wasn''t what I imagined at all. I think this will make your dress search a little less stressful.