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ladies...are you afraid to ask your husband for an upgrade?

Dancing Fire

Super_Ideal_Rock
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:bigsmile:
 

zoebartlett

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Re: ladies...are you afraid to ask your husband for an upgra

I've told him about our vendor's upgrade policy and he asked "why would you want to upgrade the perfect ring?" So, I guess that's a no. However, there's always the option to buy another diamond ring and just add to my paltry collection...of one. :cheeky:
 

NOYFB

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Re: ladies...are you afraid to ask your husband for an upgra

I never outright asked for an upgrade, but would make comments occasionally how someday it would be nice to have a larger, better quality stone, never seriously thinking it would happen. So I was very happily surprised when hubby suggested it, out of the blue, one day!

Since my reset a few months ago, he has teased me about wanting a larger still stone someday. While I wouldn't turn down a larger stone, my new setting could not incorporate a larger stone, which means I'd need a whole new ring. I am in LOVE with my setting, so I don't see that happening. Now, if he ever offers to upgrade the stone with a brand new setting just like the one I have...well,that would be a dream come true. But unlikely to happen. LOL
 

Mrsacornblue

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Re: ladies...are you afraid to ask your husband for an upgra

DH and I have talked about it and we both agree that my ring is staying in the family. If I were to upgrade, I would never trade in or get rid of my original stone. It's just got too much sentimental value and I think I would always keep it in the same setting. It's a representation of where we were when we got engaged and it is a beautiful stone. Now, if DH wants to get me a nice, blingy RHR I certainly won't say no! :naughty:
 

rosetta

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Re: ladies...are you afraid to ask your husband for an upgra

He's already agreed to more diamonds so not an upgrade per se but my momma didn't raise no fool :bigsmile:

God willing, a five carat cushion or asscher will be my final stone but not for many years yet. Until then my 3.5 ctw ring will remain my e-ring, no change in setting as long as it holds strong.
 

Jennifer W

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Re: ladies...are you afraid to ask your husband for an upgra

I don't want one, so it's a moot point, but if I was afraid of him, he would not be my husband. If it was something I did want, I would expect that to be respected. Why do you ask?

ETA, I would not be 'asking' him about any purchase I make anyway. I might discuss it with him, but I wouldn't be seeking the permission implied in 'asking' for something.
 

purselover

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Re: ladies...are you afraid to ask your husband for an upgra

Not at all! DH and I agreed on an upgrade before we were even engaged, honestly if he told me no he'd better have a really good reason. If the money is there I see no reason not to upgrade as often as you want.
 

iheartscience

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Re: ladies...are you afraid to ask your husband for an upgra

Jennifer W|1307885001|2943981 said:
I don't want one, so it's a moot point, but if I was afraid of him, he would not be my husband. If it was something I did want, I would expect that to be respected. Why do you ask?

ETA, I would not be 'asking' him about any purchase I make anyway. I might discuss it with him, but I wouldn't be seeking the permission implied in 'asking' for something.
Ditto every word!
 

happybear

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Feb 8, 2011
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Re: ladies...are you afraid to ask your husband for an upgra

No, I won't be afraid to ask when I've 'outgrown' my diamond. In fact, currently it is my FI who finds it small :tongue:
I'm perfectly happy with it and honestly, I don't really see myself trading in for a bigger stone due to sentimental reasons... But I may change my mind in a few years time! :Up_to_something:
 

Laila619

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Re: ladies...are you afraid to ask your husband for an upgra

I already upgraded. 'Afraid' is not the word I would use at all. It was more that I was worried I might hurt his feelings! But I basically told him it would make me really happy and he told me to go ahead get whatever I wanted. ;-) He knew I wouldn't go crazy since I'm a pretty frugal person by nature.

I think being afraid to ask your husband something is not a good sign! :cheeky:
 

Tuckins1

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Apr 13, 2008
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Re: ladies...are you afraid to ask your husband for an upgra

Not exactly. We don't believe in "upgrades", so he just buys me whole new rings! I just got my beautiful 1 ct OEC re-set as a gift for having my son, and it's stunning! I think the next big diamond purchase will be for our 10th anni. I have a few years to go yet.
 

isaku5

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Re: ladies...are you afraid to ask your husband for an upgra

Jennifer W|1307885001|2943981 said:
I don't want one, so it's a moot point, but if I was afraid of him, he would not be my husband. If it was something I did want, I would expect that to be respected. Why do you ask?

ETA, I would not be 'asking' him about any purchase I make anyway. I might discuss it with him, but I wouldn't be seeking the permission implied in 'asking' for something.
Like Jennifer, I've never asked for permission to do much of anything. We discuss lots of things, but neither of us asks 'permission'.

My mom was the same so she taught me well. :bigsmile:
 

tyty333

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Re: ladies...are you afraid to ask your husband for an upgra

Yeh, I tried but it didnt fly with DH. I think he would be ok with upgrading the setting but probably not the stone. I guess
that means I'll just have to buy more jewels for other parts of my body.
 

Asscherhalo_lover

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Re: ladies...are you afraid to ask your husband for an upgra

I have already upgraded and I love my ring. I would never get rid of what I have now, I would just get additional rings, lol! And no, I am not afraid to say what I would like!
 

Circe

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Re: ladies...are you afraid to ask your husband for an upgra

Agree with all the ladies who've scoffed at the notion of being "afraid" of a husband - that's no basis for a system of government, er, I mean, marriage.

That said, while I have no qualms over telling my husband I am planning to spend large sums of our money on small, shiny objects, I can see how the e-ring might be different from, say, a random pair of earrings, just because it tends to be so emotionally invested. Happily, given that he's know exactly what I'm like for a long, long, time, it came as no surprise that I would want more and bigger diamonds throughout our marriage. :twisted:

Hey, it goes both ways. I go along with what he wants, too!
 

Amys Bling

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Re: ladies...are you afraid to ask your husband for an upgra

not afraid no..... my only hesitation would be in hurt his feelings. Honestly, I wouldn't give up my current stone. I really am too attached to it- and it's the stone he proposed with. If we had the means for an upgrade, it would have to be enough to buy a whole new ring, that is the only way we could do it as I am not willing to give up my original.
 

lbbaber

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Feb 18, 2011
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Re: ladies...are you afraid to ask your husband for an upgra

Nah, I dont ask or even tell him when I make purchases. He probably wouldn't even notice--lol. It's a little trickier now that I am a SAHM bc the money is 'joint' money but I get a pretty nice amount to "play with" so when I do upgrade one day, I will just pay for it with my "shopping money". If I told him he would probably just say "and ? ...." He could care less what I do with my jewelry.
 

Dancing Fire

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Re: ladies...are you afraid to ask your husband for an upgra

purselover|1307886987|2943992 said:
Not at all! DH and I agreed on an upgrade before we were even engaged, honestly if he told me no he'd better have a really good reason. If the money is there I see no reason not to upgrade as often as you want.
would you married him if there were no such agreement ?... :bigsmile:
 

shihtzulover

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Re: ladies...are you afraid to ask your husband for an upgra

Nope - in fact, he's still my fiance, but we went ahead and upgraded already. Even though we picked out our original diamond together, I was a little bit worried that I would hurt his feelings- luckily, he totally understood. :)
 

dreamer_dachsie

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Re: ladies...are you afraid to ask your husband for an upgra

I'm confused.

"Ask" my husband.

What is this concept??
 

KimberlyH

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Re: ladies...are you afraid to ask your husband for an upgra

I've been counting down to my upgrade (10 yr anniversary) since we were first married. It likely won't happen until our 15 or 20 yr due to finances, but it's a running joke in our house.
 

wannaBMrsH

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Re: ladies...are you afraid to ask your husband for an upgra

Jennifer W|1307885001|2943981 said:
I don't want one, so it's a moot point, but if I was afraid of him, he would not be my husband. If it was something I did want, I would expect that to be respected. Why do you ask?

ETA, I would not be 'asking' him about any purchase I make anyway. I might discuss it with him, but I wouldn't be seeking the permission implied in 'asking' for something.
This, exactly! I love my ring and as the days go by, I realize more and more that this is the perfect ring and setting for our lifestyle. I love, love my ring!
 

merilenda

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Re: ladies...are you afraid to ask your husband for an upgra

Like purselover, FI and I agreed to an upgrade before even becoming engaged. We specifically went with a vendor that has a good upgrade policy. We wanted to get engaged after finishing grad school and didn't want to wait a couple more years as we became more financially stable - we were 26 and 28 when we became engaged and had been together for 3 years.

The solution was pretty simple. We bought a ring that I love, I'll wear it a couple years as we build up finances, and upgrade (maybe next year!) when things are more comfortable.

I agree with the other ladies that I would never be afraid to bring something up with FI, only worried about hurting his feelings. If he had picked out the ring and surprised me with a proposal (without a prior discussion of upgrades) I'd probably be more hesitant to bring it up for this reason. But if it was something I really wanted, I would.
 

Xiriah

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Re: ladies...are you afraid to ask your husband for an upgra

Nope. DH doesn't mind me upgrading some day. My original e-ring was a ring given to DH from his mom that was to become a family heirloom. Since we've been married, DH has gotten me an 3-stone anniversary ring (I got to choose the diamond and setting) and I mentioned to DH that I might upgrade someday and he's fine with it. He knows that I'm obsessed with shiny things and also that I try to get the best price that I can when I look around. Hmm...thinking about it, I don't think I ever really asked! :naughty: I just told him that I plan to upgrade sometime and he's fine with it.
 

swingirl

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Re: ladies...are you afraid to ask your husband for an upgra

I am afraid to ask for an upgrade because then he'll want a new motorcycle. And then I'll have to upgrade my earrings and he'll want to upgrade his bass guitar. And then ... we'll be in the poor house!
 

diamondseeker2006

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Re: ladies...are you afraid to ask your husband for an upgra

I don't "ask permission", but we certainly discuss any purchases that run into the thousands of dollars! He has never really said no to any jewelry purchase I wanted, but I wouldn't just go do it without him knowing because I'd be afraid he'd go do the same!!! That would not be a good idea! :errrr:

When I was considering changing my original setting, he really wanted me to leave the ring as it was and get a new ring for our anniversary, which is what brought me to PriceScope originally! I do not want to upgrade the new diamond as it is already at my maximum desired size, so future diamonds will be additional rings. An AVC is at the top of my diamond wishlist, and a sapphire ring is at the very top for now.
 

kenny

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Re: ladies...are you afraid to ask your husband for an upgra

... an upgrade of what, the diamond or the husband?
 

maplefemme

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Re: ladies...are you afraid to ask your husband for an upgra

He told me right off the bat,"get what you want right now because they'll be no upgrading!"
It's a sentimental thing for him, he doesn't care if I get other rings down the road, but he really cares that this ring is everything I want and that it stays my engagement ring.
I'm not complaining, helloooooo RHRs+++! :naughty:
 

Dancing Fire

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Re: ladies...are you afraid to ask your husband for an upgra

kenny|1307934911|2944463 said:
... an upgrade of what, the diamond or the husband?
BOTH :!:
 

marcy

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Re: ladies...are you afraid to ask your husband for an upgra

He doesn't care but with his watch purchases I have to wait my turn. :bigsmile:
 
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