Knowing "this is it!"

[justageek]

I thought I''d ask you ladies for some opinions. I think most people will fall in love a few times, but they should only marry someone they love and like and respect and with whom they share common interests and goals (they really don''t always go together). I think this is rare, but it''s not so rare that it''s a once-in-a-lifetime thing. I feel like a fraud on LIW, sometimes, because everyone seems so sure that their current bf/SO is the one and they''ll never get another chance at true love, and I don''t feel that''s the case for me at all.

I guess what I''m trying to ask is: "How/when did you know that this relationship was it?" Was it a thunderbolt of recognition of your soul''s counterpart in another (what movie did I hear this in... hm...), or was it a gradual realization that this person was someone who you could love and like and respect and share common interests and goals with you? There''s Pandora II, who fell crazy in love at first sight and will live happily ever after with her prince , and then there''s me who, honestly, drove my bf crazy by alternating between "Let''s jump into this relationship headfirst!" and "I''ve been burned before -- I would really like to take this slow and maybe never get married so I always have a way out". I know I could happily spend my life with my bf, but I also know that I''ll be ok without him. I don''t think there''s only one person for me, and I doubt I''ll never fall in love again if this relationship doesn''t work out. I know I''ll probably be sad for a while, but I''ll recover and live a happy life, maybe single and maybe with someone else. Anyway, I''d like to hear some of your happy stories and takes on when/how you knew -- Thanks for taking the time to answer!!!

How/when did you know that this relationship was it?
My answer: I don''t know, and it worries me sometimes. But I am incredibly happy when I''m with my bf, we enjoy each other''s company, we respect and adore each other, and I can imagine myself living happily with him for the rest of my life. As to how I found out -- when I first met him, I was adamantly opposed to having kids of my own -- I firmly thought adoption was the only option I''d take. Fast foward a few months later, we''re watching tv and a commercial with a baby on it comes out. He says, "I really want kids." I say, "Yea... I really don''t, but what do you think about adoption?" And at that moment, the realization hit me -- oh my goodness, I''d have kids with this man after we got married.

We had never even talked about marriage before!! We hadn''t even exchanged "I love you"''s! Oy.

 

[rubybeth]

I guess I''ll take a crack at this one, since I am avoiding my graduate assistantship work at the mo''...

I think for me it was both.

I had a gradual coming to terms with S being pretty much everything I needed/wanted (similar backgrounds, intelligence levels, a handful of similar interests, just general compatibility--Neil Clark Warren''s books actually helped us a lot in figuring out if this could be ''it'' so I''d say check those out if you haven''t. He''s the founder of eHarmony and makes a lot of valid points).

I also had a WHAM-ZOOM moment when I just knew I would marry him if only he would ask. It was at a formal dinner/dance fundraiser last January, and we were dressed our finest on the coldest night of the year. He wrapped me and my very short skirted dress in a blanket and drove downtown. That first slow dance, when he kind of swept me into his arms and led us in the dance, I thought, "this is it, it''s him, I can stop looking." It''s such a cliché, but it was true! That, in addition to knowing he had no debt, a good education, similar religious views, a good family, a sense of humor, fit well with my extended family, and was faithful while we were apart for six months while he did AmeriCorps... added up to us where we are today, looking at being engaged before spring, much sooner than I''d even thought possible!!

I also recognize your feelings, though, about knowing you''d be okay without him. I have those feelings, too. I know that without S, I could be completely self-sufficient, and even happy, but I think that''s healthy. Feeling like you need somebody means there is a hole in yourself that has nothing to do with anyone else. Being full, complete and having a rich life without somebody else in it is a great way to have a relationship. Choosing to spend your life with someone who you decide to love is different than a desperate kind of love where you feel trapped in your situation. So, I guess what I''m saying is: you''re normal, or at least we''re both the same kind of weird in that we''d be all right without our SOs. It''s that moment of deciding, though, that took it to the next level for me.

I also said to S recently, "You''re just coming to terms with the crazy fact that I am the woman you''re going to be with for the rest of your life." (I am pretty verbal about everything.

) He said this stuck with him, because he''s been in this loop of wanting to marry me but being hesitant because of our situation of both being in school and graduating at the same time. I agreed that it''s definitely weird to know you''ve found ''the one'' that you''ll marry, especially when we first met in high school--I think he kind of feels like he wasted so much time with other girls when he could have had me so much sooner. But ultimately, I think we are better for having had to wait for each other. So, maybe you''re like S--realizing that you might be with the man you''re going to be with forever, just not totally comfortable yet.

Bring on more stories, ladies, of your moment of ''knowing''!!

 

[allycat0303]

I absolutely did NOT have a thunderbolt moment. Far from it. I''ve been with my SO for a very long time, and I would drive myself crazy comparing myself to other girls and asking, ''''she''s my age, and she''s known him less long, how does she know?'''' It was a massively painful, what is wrong with me, am I with the right person thing. It was something I thought about constantly, and caused me serious anguish. But honestly, it took time, a lot of soul searching and mini, baby steps and know I am finally at the stage where I am sure, and have been sure (no more ''''yes sure for one day, and then not so sure the next day''''

And I really wanted, with all my heart to have this feeling of just knowing. Anyways, I realize now that it was unnecessary pressure I was putting on myself. If you''re not sure, no amount of convincing, rationalizing is going to get me there. So I''m currently NOT debating the children issue either (my other big concern) I figure that every one is different and I will make up my mind when I am ready to make up my mind.

 

[Smurfysmiles]

SO absolutely did not believe in marriage when we first started dating as he is agnostic. After 5 months I simply said that if marriage is not something you think is in your future, then neither am I. The main argument was that he did not want to be involved in a religious ceremony. I gave him a few days to think and he came back with flowers and said that as long as it was not a religious ceremony and was performed by a friend that he would do it because he didn't want us to be apart. That was one of the moments because I knew if we could compromise on religion (which to me is the hardest thing to come together on) we could get through anything...and we have.

The other moment was A week after we started dating he informed me he would be in Alaska over the summer working (which I was not happy about). The next day he told me that his company gave him a free round trip ticket to alaska for a week for anyone he chose or he could take the money the ticket cost. He chose to have me fly out to visit him for a week and he could have picked anyone! At that moment I knew the guy was a keeper. And also check out this video on youtube:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=gZFF1goGtaI

that's my SO...how can you NOT fall for him after that video lol, that's hot!

 

[ravengirl]

My best friend knew before I did! I had only known BF for about two months, and my best friend (since we were babies) came to visit me at college. After meeting him, she said to me "You''re going to end up marrying that guy." I couldn''t believe it! So out of a movie, right? Anyway, I laughed her off...I thought he was a really nice guy, and he was my friend, but I was into some other guy at the time. Fast forward 3.5 years, and here we are!

Anyway, to actually answer your question, I never really had a lightening bolt feeling either. (And I agree; I know that I''d be fine/happy/successful with or without BF. So I think that''s totally normal and healthy). It just seemed that at some point, we gradually both understood that we were planning a life together, and we were both really excited for the life that we were creating! *shrug*

 

[gwendolyn]

I don''t know this is it. Still trying to figure that out.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

This is something myself and friends who are engaged/recently married discuss from time to time. None of us feel that our husbands are "the one". My husband is a fantastic, intelligent, sexy man and we have a very strong foundation. We love each other very much, but we also understand that love ain''t enough to make a marriage work! We agree on all fundamental issues: financial goals, how we want to raise our kids, where we want to live, how many kids we want to have, we share hobbies, we have the same energy level (I couldn''t marry a couch potato, haha), etc.

He realizes that I''m not the only person in this world who could make him happy and I realize he''s not the only person in this world that could make me happy, but we made that commitment. Right before we got engaged D said he realizes we screw up sometimes and can always improve, but that he was 150% committed to doing whatever it takes to always make me happy. I made the same commitment to him and we respect each other and put each other first.

I really think that''s all it is--it''s finding somebody with whom you know you can build a happy and healthy life and committing to that! I don''t know, I used to fear that being married was going to make me feel trapped and D had some very serious commitment fears. The other day we were talking about how marriage feels so natural and comforting--the other day when we got home from work we got inside, turned on the Christmas tree lights and wrapped up in a blanket. D said "This feels like marriage!" haha. It''s warm and fuzzy and secure and so far, a lot of fun.

So if it turns out that there is a "ONE" and D isn''t it, well then too bad for me, I''ve already made my commitment

 

[Octavia]

Date: 12/17/2007 6:14:52 PM
Author:justageek
I thought I''d ask you ladies for some opinions. I think most people will fall in love a few times, but they should only marry someone they love and like and respect and with whom they share common interests and goals (they really don''t always go together). I think this is rare, but it''s not so rare that it''s a once-in-a-lifetime thing. I feel like a fraud on LIW, sometimes, because everyone seems so sure that their current bf/SO is the one and they''ll never get another chance at true love, and I don''t feel that''s the case for me at all.


I guess what I''m trying to ask is: ''How/when did you know that this relationship was it?'' Was it a thunderbolt of recognition of your soul''s counterpart in another (what movie did I hear this in... hm...), or was it a gradual realization that this person was someone who you could love and like and respect and share common interests and goals with you? There''s Pandora II, who fell crazy in love at first sight and will live happily ever after with her prince , and then there''s me who, honestly, drove my bf crazy by alternating between ''Let''s jump into this relationship headfirst!'' and ''I''ve been burned before -- I would really like to take this slow and maybe never get married so I always have a way out''. I know I could happily spend my life with my bf, but I also know that I''ll be ok without him. I don''t think there''s only one person for me, and I doubt I''ll never fall in love again if this relationship doesn''t work out. I know I''ll probably be sad for a while, but I''ll recover and live a happy life, maybe single and maybe with someone else. Anyway, I''d like to hear some of your happy stories and takes on when/how you knew -- Thanks for taking the time to answer!!!


How/when did you know that this relationship was it?

My answer: I don''t know, and it worries me sometimes. But I am incredibly happy when I''m with my bf, we enjoy each other''s company, we respect and adore each other, and I can imagine myself living happily with him for the rest of my life. As to how I found out -- when I first met him, I was adamantly opposed to having kids of my own -- I firmly thought adoption was the only option I''d take. Fast foward a few months later, we''re watching tv and a commercial with a baby on it comes out. He says, ''I really want kids.'' I say, ''Yea... I really don''t, but what do you think about adoption?'' And at that moment, the realization hit me -- oh my goodness, I''d have kids with this man after we got married.

We had never even talked about marriage before!! We hadn''t even exchanged ''I love you''''s! Oy.

Oh my heavens, justageek, I think you''re my alter ego. I thought so a little on the "Do you live with SO" thread, but this one confirms it...you said a whole bunch of things I''ve been thinking for the past month or so, and I''m glad that you did because it makes me feel a whole lot better!

I''m pretty much the same way about babies, I never really thought I''d have one of my own. I''m still not 100% sure, and BF definitely wants kids. But there was a moment of realization for me, too, when I was looking at him and I just had this random thought of "I want him to be the father of my children." Where it came from, I''ll never know, but it honestly changed my world.

There are a lot of things that still make me wonder if we''ll make it in the long run. Mostly career-related. I have this vision of myself old and happy, sitting on a porch swing with him, but that doesn''t mean I don''t have my doubts about things now and then. Sometimes I feel convinced that we love each other enough to make it work forever, and other times I know it''s not that simple. I''m sure there are other guys out there who I could feel this way about if BF weren''t in the picture, but I just don''t want to.

 

[MoonWater]

Date: 12/17/2007 7:57:28 PM
Author: NewEnglandLady
This is something myself and friends who are engaged/recently married discuss from time to time. None of us feel that our husbands are ''the one''. My husband is a fantastic, intelligent, sexy man and we have a very strong foundation. We love each other very much, but we also understand that love ain''t enough to make a marriage work! We agree on all fundamental issues: financial goals, how we want to raise our kids, where we want to live, how many kids we want to have, we share hobbies, we have the same energy level (I couldn''t marry a couch potato, haha), etc.


He realizes that I''m not the only person in this world who could make him happy and I realize he''s not the only person in this world that could make me happy, but we made that commitment. Right before we got engaged D said he realizes we screw up sometimes and can always improve, but that he was 150% committed to doing whatever it takes to always make me happy. I made the same commitment to him and we respect each other and put each other first.


I really think that''s all it is--it''s finding somebody with whom you know you can build a happy and healthy life and committing to that! I don''t know, I used to fear that being married was going to make me feel trapped and D had some very serious commitment fears. The other day we were talking about how marriage feels so natural and comforting--the other day when we got home from work we got inside, turned on the Christmas tree lights and wrapped up in a blanket. D said ''This feels like marriage!'' haha. It''s warm and fuzzy and secure and so far, a lot of fun.


So if it turns out that there is a ''ONE'' and D isn''t it, well then too bad for me, I''ve already made my commitment

Great post! My sentiments as well.

 

[FrekeChild]

How/when did you know that this relationship was it?

We met on the internet (myspace-lmao) randomly in March 2006, but we didn''t meet in person until April 7th, and from then we were pretty much a couple, but he was farther behind me than I was because he had ended a 3 year relationship to be with me, so he needed time to be ready and want to be in a relationship again. On May 5th, we were driving onto the Strip in Vegas (my first time ever being there) and he told me that he wanted to make it official. I agreed of course, and we went and checked into the hotel and went to a concert. The next day we had just gotten done walking through the Aquarium at Mandalay Bay, and we went up some stairs and it hit me and I thought to myself, "I want to spend the rest of my life with him." He says there wasn''t a real moment that he can remember (he''s horrible at stuff like that) but that he just knew. I never said anything the instant I realized it of course, but only a few weeks into the relationship the I love yous came out (when he said it the first time I got all teary eyed) and then a little over a month into it we told each other that we thought this was it. And it has been. From the first midnight until dawn phone conversations until today, where we do everything together. I know he''s the one, and he knows I''m the one, but because of money, we''re just waiting...

 

[justageek]

Octavia -- I just snooped through some of your old posts, and I''ve realized we also both enjoy knitting, love dogs, adore rectangular cuts (assumed from the "coveted wedding bands" post), have bf''s who are the same age, are not really holding out for an engagement in the very near future, distract ourselves from law/grad school duties with PS, like quick oats, and (like you mentioned) virtually live at our bf''s place. In fact, I''m writing to you from his place right now

. Craziness. If you''re also a 5 foot 3.749999 inch Asian-American, I don''t know what I''ll do!

Thank you, everyone, for responding! I actually got in argument with someone the other day, who thought you should only follow your heart and leave the mind out of everything that has to do with relationships. He said you either know instantly or you don''t know, and love can conquer all. I disagreed for the same reasons many of you have mentioned, and he slammed me for being unromantic, having no spontaneous impulses, and being cold and calculating. He also said that this proves I lean to the right

what the?!? Came out of nowhere.

Anyway, nice to know I''m not cynical and jaded, or at least I''m not the only one

 

[sandia_rose]

How/when did you know that this relationship was it?

I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now, and it has not been easy. Our relationship started off great.....lots of chemistry, common likes and dislikes, just a lot of fun all around. And then the poo hit the fan. His daughter started developing problems (she has been diagnosed ADD/ADHD and bipolar and is getting help, but daily life is unpredictable). Then, his ex-wife basically checked out (she has substance problems), leaving him to deal with their child solo (he also has a son - but he is 18 and handles himself). THEN, his 84 year old mother, who previously beat breast cancer, was diagnosed in October with cancer that has metasticized to her liver, stomach, chest wall and rib/spine bones. She has between 3-6 months left. He is an only child and his father died several years back, so he takes care of her. His father passed the year before I met him. And did I mention that he sings for a regionally successful band AND has his own contracting business?

A lot of women might have written this guy off, because his daily life is crazy. You never know WHAT you are going to encounter day to day. Did his mom go to the hospital tonight? Did his daughter freak out? Was his ex arrested for another DUI (she has had several)? Did a contractor fail to deliver material? Did a club cancel a date? Is he in a messed-up headspace and not wanting company? I am a veteran of cancelled plans. And we have both been through hellish marriages and have moments of not trusting or fearing.....but we ultimately come back to each other and talk about it. This is going to sound weird and simplistic...but there have been many times where - something bad happened that was not personal (like one night when his daughter tantrumed herself to sleep - 5+ hours of freak-out....which drains you)- we were in the same space and could not talk. So, we ended up going to bed in silence. He is physically twice my size, so if I lie in bed and he spoons me, I am enveloped. And something happens in the night when we are sleeping. We drink in each other's body heat and smells and somehow, everything is OK when the sun comes up and the light thorough the windows wakes us up.

I stay with him for many reasons. One of the big ones is his integrety. He doesn't have to cancel a day's work to sit with his mom in the hospital, but he does. He has comitted to keeping her out of the hospital (which she fears) and caring for her at home - and that speaks volumes about him. A lot of parents with a daughter like his would commit her -- because she requires intense daily help to function normally -- but he doesn't. He exhibits patience with her that I admire -- and he is ultra-involved in her care. He has said to her therapist, "All I care about is that my daughter turns out normal - with a life she enjoys and where she can care for herself. Help me help her." He can't stand my ex-husband - said that he is a spineless jerk that couldn't be a good husband or a father. And as to me, he has said, "You are an amazing woman. Any man would be lucky to have you." And he has compassion for animals. Any man who is 6'6" and 310 pounds who can hold a 4 week old kitten with joy owns my heart forever. The kitten in the pic is the female of a brother and sister team that he adopted Labor Day 2005. Those cats are a year old now and he dotes on them!

Any more questions as to why I love him?

Bridget in Connecticut.

 

[Octavia]

Whew, justageek, we aren''t actually long-lost twins...I''m not quite 5''3" and am some unspecified blend of German, Irish, and who knows what else.

Your acquaintance sounds a little off balance to me, but maybe he considers himself a "hopeless romantic". The thing is, as I see it, being in love isn''t necessarily romantic. There are those moments when BF surprises me with flowers, or kisses me until I''m dizzy...but there are also the moments when I want to throw the XBox out the window, or when he''s away for extended periods of time and I miss him so much it makes me feel kind of ill (misguided people think this is romantic, but it''s really just wearying and tedious). People who are in it just for the romance don''t stick around for the bad, boring, and/or stressful times, but when you''re really in love you take them as they come and deal with them.

One time, long before I knew BF, I literally fell in love at first sight with the "hit by a ton of bricks" feeling and all. I let myself get caught up in it and wasted many months on this guy. In the end, it was an unqualified disaster, complete with me sobbing hysterically on my gay friend''s shoulder outside in the freezing cold without coats on one night. In retrospect, it''s kind of pathetically hilarious, like a bad cartoon. So, needless to say, I stopped trusting that feeling, although I haven''t felt it since, not even with my BF. If I had, I''m not sure I ever would have ended up with him, which might be a weird thing to say but it''s true.

I''ve always been pretty sure that there are plenty of men out there I''d be compatible with, but that finding one of them who loves me back, and together making the relationship work, is more important than tricking myself into believing I could never find someone else. If this is cold and calculating, fine. I have a sneaking suspicion that pragmatic couples who go into marriage with both their hearts and eyes open are a lot better off than those who blindly fall into something because it''s spontaneous.

 

[surfgirl]

justageek, I''m trying to limit my time on here now (it can get quite unhealthy being online too much!!!) but I had to respond to your post because I understand your confusion. My husband and I got married this past summer...after..wait for it!...14.5 years of being together. And we couldn''t be happier. So it just goes to show...

But, did I always know he was the one? Hell to the No! It''s been quite a rollercoaster for me/us. I think as women, we''re force fed from childhood that we''ll meet our prince charming and fall head over heels and he''ll read our mind and know what ring we want and he''ll propose in a horse drawn carriage and blahbity blah blah blah...It''s all hooey if you ask me. Sometimes real, true, deep and lasting love grows slowly over time and one day you wake up and BAM!, you finally know this is the one. You could be on the can, making dinner, or looking at your SO doing something mundane when this happens...it''s probably not going to be in soft focus with you both running towards each other in a field of daisies...I know for me, after a couple of years I got marriage-itchy, thinking that at my age I should move on if we weren''t ever getting married. We went up and down about this issue for literally years, with me wanting to set a deadline, then realizing that actually, I might be okay without the marriage certificate so long as other marriage-like aspects were in place. That said, in the end, I realized that yeah, I wanted someone to say "I choose you, you''re the one!" So we worked on our relationship, we got into couples counseling to figure out if we wanted to stay together, and if so, how to communicate more effectively, etc. And then one day we both realized that yes, we were actually "the one" to the other person. There was no romantic carriage ride to propose (I was in my pj''s, before having my morning coffee), but it was perfect nonetheless.

All I''m saying is this - if YOU have a timeline for getting married, then only YOU can decide if it''s time to fish or cut bait. If you''re still young and feel that you can give this relationship more time, then just relax and enjoy being with him. It does sound to me like some individual and couples counseling might be really helpful to you both. I say this because of your uncertainty in how to identify how important - or not - this relationship really is to you; and because your BF seems to really want children and you dont. Or you''re okay with adopting (which is admirable and wonderful, good for you!!), but it''s not clear he''s okay with that. That is a HUGE issue for a couple and the sooner you resolve that, the clearer it might be whether or not you should move on as a couple of individually.

And...that said, I''m sure if you do decide to move on, you''ll find someone else in the future. I''m not a big believer of "you only fall in love once" or whatever the saying is. I think much of successful relationships is about timing in both partners life. You can be with the most terrific person, but the timing is all wrong for one or both of you. OTOH, you can also have intense passion and fireworks, but cannot sustain that type of relationship in the long term. I think the best relationships are ones where people are truly "friends" with, and really "like" their partners as people.

Hope this long winded response helps you just a little bit...Get a counselor girl, I think it will help you sort this all out!

 

[jfus]

How did I know this was it...

1. I couldn''t get enough of him! and as much as I got of him... I still wanted more.. there was none of that I need my space etc...

2. I had been engaged to someone once before... this was completely different then anything I had ever expereienced.. After I broke off my engagement my friend said to me.. when he met his wife, everything just became "easy".. not like PERFECT.... but everything just fell into place.

I think that was it.. everything just completely fell into place. He was the whole package.. and he made me feel like a whole package.

It''s an amazing feeling figureing that out!

 

[misscuppycake]

Honestly, I''m still not 100% sure but I think I am in the beginning stages of it. This past Christmas was a good one for us, but my boyfriend was having a tough time. He''s sort of in that place where he feels he''s been wasting time trying to figure out the future for himself (work, school, etc). He started to get really depressed right at the heart of the holidays and I felt his pain in a way I''d never felt before. It was more than just sympathy; it was suddenly like his pain was mine too. It''s sort of that "acting as one" feeling and even though I''ve fought for independence and had a lot of self-issues about not getting attached to or needing a man over the past few years, I think I''m being broken down a little.

 

[Pandora II]

Yes, I did know very quickly that Andy was the ONE for me.

The attraction was thunderbolt instantaneous - but not in a 'sexual attraction' way.

The only way I can describe it is that my best female friend and I met at a tradeshow when she joined the company I worked at. She was assigned to look after the stand with me for the afternoon and we started talking.

Lets just say that we talked all day, went for dinner and talked more - and then had lunch and dinner everyday for the next 6 weeks!

It was like I'd met another facet of myself. (Just to make things clear - there was no physical attraction or anything of that ilk.)

Basically we clicked, and it was like I'd known her forever - there were things I never had to tell her because she knew and vice-versa.

I wanted to meet a man I clicked with - I told my mother that I needed to find a man who made me feel the way I felt when I was with Olivia, but with physical attraction and the sexual element thrown in.

By the end of the first day I met Andy I knew that for the first time ever I had met a man where there was the click - like you've known them all your life and they have always been with you, you just couldn't see them. Even weirder it was mutual.

I actually really scared myself - I had been working on a plan to return to Italy and work in Rome as soon as I was better and had even finalised some job prospects. It was a definite, non negotiable plan for my life. Two hours after we met, Andy asked if I planned to go back to Italy after my operations.

Oh no, I said, I'm staying in the UK and plan to move to London. (I nearly died of shock - I had no idea why I had said that at all, but I knew 150% that I was not going back to Italy.)

Never once have I had a second of doubt about wanting to be with him - even during the "I don't believe in marriage" saga he spun out to throw me off track over the proposal. Our relationship also requires no work whatsoever - it's super-easy and comfortable.


With all the other men I dated on a serious basis, I thought about spending my life with them and I'd get this funny feeling and a little voice in my head would say - this is not a good idea. I tried fighting the feeling many times - but ultimately it always won. And thank goodness!

My advice is to listen to the little voice - follow your gut instinct and you will know the path.

I have a sneaky suspicion that the fact you posted this thread is because that little voice is asking you difficult questions. That doesn't mean the relationship is not the ONE, just that you need to think things over seriously about how you feel and how the idea of 'the rest of your life with that one person' strikes you. I left one ex when I realised I felt incredibly sick everytime I thought of it!

I believe that there are many people out there who could be your life partner, not just one person.

I feel exceptionally lucky to have found my life-partner at all (we had both given up all hope of finding the right person), and know now that it is worth holding out for the person who completes you and makes you truly happy.

I can't say that you will 'just know' like I did, because I don't know how that feels for anyone other than me. Maybe my feeling of 'knowing' would be interpreted differently by someone else?

The only thing I do know as I have felt it many times - and heard friends describe it exactly the same way - is that when your instinct is telling you something isn't right then you need to listen, even if it will totally screw your current life situation up!

Don't settle for almost happy - truly happy is obtainable!