Justifying cost of a diamond upgrade and when to do it?

[february2003bride]

For those who have upgraded, or are planning to upgrade their engagement ring center diamond, how do you justify the cost?

And how did you decide when the right time was/is? Was your SO 100% supportive? Did you both decide this together?

DH and I were discussing long and short term future financial goals this weekend and I added my future upgrade (hey, he added a new car! ). We had a great conversation about it but I was surprised that his opinion on it differed greatly from mine! I'm curious as to how others went about their upgrade plan.

 

[yennyfire]

I had no upgrade plan. The only reason I got a new ring was because mine was lost/stolen. To be honest, I could never have justified upgrading my ring when we have retirement to plan for and two kids to send to college. If you had asked me 7 years ago, when we were both making really good salaries (i.e. before kids), I would have said "go for it"...and that's still my advice. I realize that seems contradictory, but basically I'm saying if you want to do it, do it, as long as it's not the choice between rent or an upgrade...the time will never present itself later...

If you want to do it, do it now...I don't know if you have kids or not, but I have found that spending money on myself is really hard for me to do when we are down to one income (albeit a nice one)...I wasn't even going to replace my ring (using the insurance money), but DH insisted and if I'm being honest, I'm so glad that he did. I LOVE my ring and know that it will NEVER leave my finger and I'll be happy gazing at it for the next 40 years!

 

[iLander]

The time to upgrade, IMHO, is for a big anniversary; 10 years, 15 years, 25 years, that kind of thing.

 

[Dancing Fire]

For those who have upgraded, or are planning to upgrade their engagement ring center diamond, how do you justify the cost?

And how did you decide when the right time was/is? Was your SO 100% supportive? Did you both decide this together?

DH and I were discussing long and short term future financial goals this weekend and I added my future upgrade (hey, he added a new car! ). We had a great conversation about it but I was surprised that his opinion on it differed greatly from mine! I'm curious as to how others went about their upgrade plan.

when she upgrade the husband.

 

[Haven]

I haven't upgraded yet, but when I do it will be because:
- We have the cash to cover the entire upgrade
- We have something big to celebrate

To be honest, neither one of us ever feels the need to justify spending money on things. DH and I are on the same page where finances are concerned, and when one of us decides we want to make a big purchase we:
- Discuss it
- Make a plan to save for it
- Save the cash (and cut out any extra expenses, if necessary, to meet our savings goal)
- Buy it

We did this for our cars and my engagement ring, most recently. I'm lucky that we've always been on the same page about whether we should buy big ticket items.

We're cash only people, and I think it's easier to "justify" buying something when you have the cash in hand to do it.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

I am here to echo the sentiments of the others above...

1. When you can afford it
2. When it's important
3. When you're both fully on the same page

I think that doing it without being "together" would be less fun than being equally excited.

 

[Amys Bling]

I am here to echo the sentiments of the others above...

1. When you can afford it
2. When it's important
3. When you're both fully on the same page

I think that doing it without being "together" would be less fun than being equally excited.

Totally agree.... it would be really nice as a special anniversary gift as well!

 

[february2003bride]

I am here to echo the sentiments of the others above...

1. When you can afford it
2. When it's important
3. When you're both fully on the same page

I think that doing it without being "together" would be less fun than being equally excited.

Absolutely, all of those would be met or close to it if/when I upgrade. Just I was thinking for my 35th birthday/10 year anniversary (in 18 months) whereas DH was thinking 40th birthday/15 year anniversary gift.

Anyway, I was just curious how others went about their upgrades!

 

[Imdanny]

We're cash only people, and I think it's easier to "justify" buying something when you have the cash in hand to do it.

+1

 

[athenaworth]

You're SO definitely should be on the same page as you, or, IMHO, the upgrade will always be tainted.

I got mine after we had a failed on our 3rd IVF attempt. We both wanted something to distract us, so DH gave me a budget and told me to start shopping. So while it will always have an aura of negativity around it, we'll always remember the fun it gave us shopping for it. So I don't really think you need some big anniversary to justify it, but there should be something.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

I'm just agreeing with everybody else here--when you're both on the same page and have reached the financial goal.

Yennyfire's post really hit home for me. Just this weekend D and I were discussing my "next" ring (no upgrade for me, but really want a 2+ carat transitional cut as a RHR). We arbitrarily decided on our 5th wedding anniversary since it's our first "milestone" anniversary. However, I may very well be a SAHM by then and have a lot of other priorities, so who knows if the goal we set now, 2 years in advance, will be realized.

So I guess my point is that if you set a long-term goal for the upgrade, it also helps to be flexible. Who knows what can happen between now and then, which is why I think it's important to be on the same page throoughout the entire process.

 

[geckodani]

I keep trying to formulate a reply and am failing miserably. I'm going to quote NEL instead:

I'm just agreeing with everybody else here--when you're both on the same page and have reached the financial goal.

Yennyfire's post really hit home for me. Just this weekend D and I were discussing my "next" ring (no upgrade for me, but really want a 2+ carat transitional cut as a RHR). We arbitrarily decided on our 5th wedding anniversary since it's our first "milestone" anniversary. However, I may very well be a SAHM by then and have a lot of other priorities, so who knows if the goal we set now, 2 years in advance, will be realized.

So I guess my point is that if you set a long-term goal for the upgrade, it also helps to be flexible. Who knows what can happen between now and then, which is why I think it's important to be on the same page throoughout the entire process.[/quote]

If/when I ever upgrade, we will probably mark it with a big anniversary, and plan accordingly (mostly because that's a good point to shoot for). That said, like NEL mentioned, life has a way of moving and changing so quickly that who knows.

 

[D&T]

First it was to mark a big milestone (5 yr anniversary), then as I stared more and more at my ring, didn't work for me, it then became a "find the right ring in order for me to be happy" upgrade regardless of changing diamonds and/or settings for whatever reasons and irregardless of timing (although to me I justify it as this is my 30th bday, mothers day, xmas upgrade/diamond shape/ring change milestone ). DH has to be on the same page with me at all times. I'm lucky to have a DH that is very easy going when it comes to money. We are a cash only family so if we have cash to spare, it works for us, timing and all...DH wants me to be happy we do it, but obviously it'll stop...eventually. Lucky for me, I still have my original e-ring DH proposed with and is sentimental about that ring, so to DH- its just another gift/jewelry piece that I admire on any new rings I acquire.