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Justifying an expensive non-jewellery purchase

canuk-gal

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december-fire|1463526769|4032959 said:
canuk-gal|1463526388|4032957 said:
HI:

There will always be cheaper and more expensive items to be purchased. Get exactly what you want--otherwise you will feel as though you settled. Or compromised out of guilt.

Don't let someone spoil your joy. (says the girl who wore her new Hermes sandals today!)

cheers--Sharon


And I bet you looked and felt great! :appl:

:)) prtiiiiiiitttty good! :bigsmile:
 

december-fire

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canuk-gal|1463527289|4032961 said:
december-fire|1463526769|4032959 said:
canuk-gal|1463526388|4032957 said:
HI:

There will always be cheaper and more expensive items to be purchased. Get exactly what you want--otherwise you will feel as though you settled. Or compromised out of guilt.

Don't let someone spoil your joy. (says the girl who wore her new Hermes sandals today!)

cheers--Sharon


And I bet you looked and felt great! :appl:

:)) prtiiiiiiitttty good! :bigsmile:


And this, Trekkie, is why we don't wrap leather or newspaper around our feet, or use old envelopes as wallets.

We have options that bring us more joy than those methods.

Make yourself happy. If you can't bring yourself to spending money you have on things that put a smile on your face, then hand over the money to one of us. We'll show you how its done. ;))
 

dk168

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susief|1463513449|4032856 said:
Don't discuss expensive purchases with non-enthusiasts. They spoil all your fun. That's what specialist forums are for.

So true!

DK :))
 

jordyonbass

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Interesting it's the opposite for me and gems, I had to justify the cost to buy my opal package recently since they don't offer me anything past buying and cutting. I've never had to justify my bass guitars, boat and gear etc as they can bring in money and food for us.
 

dk168

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One person's medicine is another person's poison etc. etc...

We all have our personal preferences for luxury. Some may go for handbags and shoes; some go to latest gadgets; some go for luxury holidays etc. etc...

I do not believe I need to justify to anyone how I wish to spend my hard earned money.

DK :))
 

Calliecake

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Trekkie, Get the wallet and don't look back!!!! Life is short. Do what makes you happy?
Please post pictures of your new wallet.
 

hathalove

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Arcadian|1463488328|4032641 said:
If you're not going to be eating PB&J for the foreseeable future due to the purchase, yeah, get it. YOLO right? :appl: :appl:

Plus the older I get the more I realize if you gotta be here, you might as well enjoy it.



Hey! I love PB&J well usually with almond butter but still. :lickout:

Get the wallet!
 

Gypsy

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One of my friends and I were at a thirft store here locally. She turned to me and said, "there's something wrong with thrift store shopping with a $1000 handbag." I thought she was talking about someone else in the store (cause I knew it wasn't me!!). Turns out it was her new handbag she was talking about. A brand I'd never heard of (I'm not really up on the latest fashions), but she LOVES the bag. Carries it all the time and has wanted for over a year. She could easily afford it. So why not?

Get your wallet honey. And enjoy it. It will make you smile each time you pull it out. Life is too short to deprive yourself of things you can responsibly enjoy.
 

Trekkie

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Thank you all SO much for your perspectives! Talking through it does make the decision-making easier!

I think the reason my friend's comment gave me pause is because I've been carrying a bit of guilt about wanting to spend that much money on one item. A non-essential, non-jewellery purchase. I live in a poor town in a poor country and my friend's comment about a new wallet every year for 30 years shook me up a bit because for the same money, I could send six children to a post-matric school to improve their marks so that they can go to university, I could pay a semester's university tuition for a financially needy student, I could build a much needed two bedroom addition to our nanny's house etc etc. I do contribute to these causes but I could do more, you know? Like, buy a (still luxe) $100 wallet and spend the rest on something that would improve someone else's life. The wallet is also roughly what it would cost to take my husband and son to the Victoria Falls for a week, which is a special place I've always wanted to see not only because of the historical significance but the significance to my family. So, I don't know.

On the other hand, for Hermès, this wallet is an absolute bargain at only $1175! And I want it.

I don't know. I think I need to think a bit more. Luckily my trip is still a year away.
 

Dancing Fire

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Trekkie|1463556148|4033143 said:
On the other hand, for Hermès, this wallet is an absolute bargain at only $1175! And I want it.

I don't know. I think I need to think a bit more. Luckily my trip is still a year away.
Sounds like a bargain if it is a real Hermes.
 

jordyonbass

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Dancing Fire|1463558626|4033149 said:
Trekkie|1463556148|4033143 said:
On the other hand, for Hermès, this wallet is an absolute bargain at only $1175! And I want it.

I don't know. I think I need to think a bit more. Luckily my trip is still a year away.
Sounds like a bargain if it is a real Hermes.

I couldn't possibly justify spending more money on a wallet than I would keep in it. I'm so hard on everything that I own that wallets last me maybe 2 years before they start falling apart.

A new bass guitar or fishing gear is a different story though...
 

Trekkie

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Dancing Fire|1463558626|4033149 said:
Trekkie|1463556148|4033143 said:
On the other hand, for Hermès, this wallet is an absolute bargain at only $1175! And I want it.

I don't know. I think I need to think a bit more. Luckily my trip is still a year away.
Sounds like a bargain if it is a real Hermes.

It is a bargain, isn't it?!

It's this one: http://usa.hermes.com/leather/small-leather-goods/wallets-for-women/long-wallet-silk-in-21226.html

Probably the cheapest leather item on the site! It's a really good price for an Hermès wallet, which is why I'm so tempted!
 

MarionC

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I think, as an experiment, you should buy it.
[This was an idea suggested to me by a friend who is a therapist : ) I wanted a particular vehicle right after buying the "practical" model. Without enabling I never would have done it]. I did what he said and found I did not need it as much as I thought, but I learned some useful things about myself : )
After the purchase you can see if the sky falls or not. In the scheme of things it's not a huge amount of money and I think you will really enjoy it and get a kick out the purchasing.
 

december-fire

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Trekkie|1463563577|4033156 said:
Dancing Fire|1463558626|4033149 said:
Trekkie|1463556148|4033143 said:
On the other hand, for Hermès, this wallet is an absolute bargain at only $1175! And I want it.

I don't know. I think I need to think a bit more. Luckily my trip is still a year away.
Sounds like a bargain if it is a real Hermes.

It is a bargain, isn't it?!

It's this one: http://usa.hermes.com/leather/small-leather-goods/wallets-for-women/long-wallet-silk-in-21226.html

Probably the cheapest leather item on the site! It's a really good price for an Hermès wallet, which is why I'm so tempted!

Trekkie, I love it! :love: :love: :love:

This isn't frivolous! Its practical! Look at all those compartments for cards, two separate areas for bills (local and foreign currency!), and a zippered compartment for change! And look at that fun fabric that will put a smile on your face every time you open the wallet!

Never mind about saving the world all the time. You do your bit. Many of us could probably live in smaller houses, take the bus and cut out all but the absolute bare minimum expenses and donate the savings. No second homes, no personal vehicles, no trips, no eating out, no jewellery. :shock:

But there's got to be balance if you're going to be happy, relaxed and feel joy in your life. Most of us aren't Mother Teresa.

Frankly, I get ticked off at comments about how the wealthy shouldn't spend thousands (or millions) on whatever. The critics think they have a right to determine how others spend their money. However, one of the aspects of being human can be feeling or throwing guilt or a sense of superiority.

The general approach to a work week is five days of work and two days off. Let this gorgeous wallet be your 'weekend' off from the budget.

And in future, please think twice before asking someone about a non-essential purchase or revealing the price.

Now, what colour are we getting?!?! :bigsmile:

P.S. My comments to you are also comments to myself. I struggle with treating myself but I'm working on it.

Another P.S. Get rid of any nagging thoughts or guilty feelings prior to making this purchase. This poor, innocent wallet should not be covered by a layer of guilt every time you see it, just joy!
 

Dancing Fire

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Trekkie|1463563577|4033156 said:
Dancing Fire|1463558626|4033149 said:
Trekkie|1463556148|4033143 said:
On the other hand, for Hermès, this wallet is an absolute bargain at only $1175! And I want it.

I don't know. I think I need to think a bit more. Luckily my trip is still a year away.
Sounds like a bargain if it is a real Hermes.

It is a bargain, isn't it?!

It's this one: http://usa.hermes.com/leather/small-leather-goods/wallets-for-women/long-wallet-silk-in-21226.html

Probably the cheapest leather item on the site! It's a really good price for an Hermès wallet, which is why I'm so tempted!
What are you waiting for?... :wink2:
 

rainydaze

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Oooo, that is quiet luxury perfected Trekkie! Love it!

I don't tend to feel guilt or a need to justify things that bring me joy that I can comfortably afford - not sure why, but alas I can't think of any helpful tidbits there. Well, maybe except to say, like another poster, that sometimes I will suggest the treat as a gift. But if something is giving me pause, and/or guilt, then I take that to mean it's past my comfort level (talking emotional, not financial) and rather than try to justify it, I just don't go there.

Someone mentioned they would spend that kind of money on a purse vs. a wallet, but I feel the opposite. And that is coming from a big-time purse lover! I would actually be more inclined to spend that amount on a wallet vs. a handbag because it gets so much more use, and I don't change out wallets or get sick of them like I do purses. Therefore the value is greater. Plus, I like 'secret joys' - a handbag is visible to everyone whereas a wallet is your own personal joy to behold each time you pull it out to use it, and it's much less visible to anyone else. An expensive wallet doesn't say 'hey look at how much I spent on myself' to the world; no one would ever know that you treated yourself except you.
 

purplesparklies

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It sounds like you are feeling conflicted so I would continue to think about it. While you may well be able to afford it, if it causes you to feel uncomfortable in any way you may not really be able to enjoy it.

Personally, I love bags and wallets but only buy higher-end (by my standards but more mid-range by PS standards) items when I can score an excellent deal on a like-new, pre-loved via eBay. Financially, I could afford to buy at retail but prefer to score a smoking deal and donate the savings to a cause/need that is meaningful to me. I have learned that the anticipation of a new bag/wallet/sparkly is often more exciting than actually owning it. When I am really tempted, I stop and think about all the times I have been pining over some item and how quickly the thrill passed when I actually bought it. If I truly think this time is different, I would search for an excellent deal because I really hate to pay retail. Ultimately, if I felt it truly was a must-have and it would give me longterm satisfaction, I would probably indulge myself. Life is short so I want to enjoy it but I also know that I tend to get more satisfaction from giving to others than I do from acquiring stuff.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
 

Gypsy

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My mom got me the Tory Burch version that wallet (seriously, looks just like that but from Tory Burch). I was frankly horrified at her spending so much on a wallet because I go through wallets every 6 months. But... actually this one has already lasted longer than my last wallet and still look brand new. I actually think that in the long run, this one is actually going to end up cheaper than the 50-100 dollar wallets I used before!

I like it. It's very practical. And as someone who really isn't into overt displays of wealth (even my real jewelry is understated) I agree with whoever said it's like a secret treat for you. No one notices my wallet. But I do every time I pull it out. And even though I never would have spent the money on it myself (before now), I think it was totally worth it and will probably be investing in nicer wallets for myself from now on.

Now obviously, you can get a nice quality wallet for half that price. But why, when every time you look at it, you'll be thinking of the Hermes?
 

Trekkie

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Ha! I'm really enjoying hearing all the different opinions on this, and appreciate everyone's candour!

AND THE ENABLERS!!! LOL! *looks at Missy and Dancing Fire* I love you all!

Sooooooooooo, I ran into a friend this morning while getting coffee on my way to work, and as I took out my wallet to pay for it, she said, "Oh! Is this the R20000* wallet?! Wow, it's really nice!" I was like, :o I brushed it off and said, "noooo, this is the same fuchsia wallet [mutual friend] gave me waaaay back in 2011!"

On the one hand I'm really annoyed that Friend A told Friend B - who else did she tell??? What are they saying about me behind my back??? ("What other people think of me is none of my business", I know, lol) But on the other hand, it's really obvious that my friends don't know the difference between a $100 wallet and a $1000 wallet so if/when I get one at least they won't be able to judge me! :lol:

susief pretty much summed it up,

susief|1463513449|4032856 said:
Don't discuss expensive purchases with non-enthusiasts. They spoil all your fun. That's what specialist forums are for.

:appl: :appl: :appl:

Don't think I'll be doing that again!

Gypsy, I had a look at the Tory Burch site and couldn't find something quite the same, but I'd really love to see yours, if you could share it at some point? I know you normally take your photography seriously, but even an iPhone snap or two would be great! :) I think if I don't go the Hermès route, I might get an "inspired by" and use the rest of the money to do some good (or plump up my 2ct G VS2 savings - hey, I'm human, not a saint, lol!).

Luckily my trip is still a year away, so I have some time to decide.

*What $1175 amounts to in Rand (our currency).
 

Dancing Fire

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[quote="Trekkie

*What $1175 amounts to in Rand (our currency).[/quote]


18711.29
 

MJ_Mac

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Hi Trekkie, go for it! I want to share my story with you. I too made a mistake of telling someone about a purchase I made. And guess what - they berated me for spending so much.

I bought a lovely little Dior handbag in bright orange last time we were in Vegas. It was the handbag of my dreams and a once in a lifetime purchase. My day to day bags are Coach because I find they wear like iron and never seem to wear out. I have been thinking of this bag for years and I finally took the plunge. I claimed it when I went through Customs and the agent was so excited for me. I think if she didn't have people lined up behind us she would have asked to see it. It was pretty sweet actually as I could see she was genuinely excited for me.

I ended up telling my hairdresser this story and showing her a pic of the bag. She knows how I love orange. I made sure not to tell anyone (other than hubby) how much it cost as I didn't want to come across as bragging. OMG - she was up one side of me and down the other. She said she can't justify spending more than $30 on a handbag and doesn't get it when people spend more. Then she started in on my jewellery and being in a different tax bracket. I left my hair appointment in tears. All I did was show her a pic of my bag and told her how excited I was.

I am mad at myself for telling her about it in the first place and and even more angry at myelf for letting her get under my skin. I don't have to justify my purchases to anyone but myself. I know how generous we are to others but we have to be nice to ourselves as well.

Buy your wallet and enjoy it. It's for you and no one else an don't let anyone make you feel bad about it. And please post pics when you get it. :appl:
 

Trekkie

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Dancing Fire|1463677545|4033576 said:
[quote="Trekkie

*What $1175 amounts to in Rand (our currency).


18711.29[/quote]

Trust the numismatist to look it up! :lol: But don't forget to add the tax!
 

Gypsy

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:wavey: It holds triple what you see there. I had to take all the crap I had in out for the interior shots as you wouldn't be able to see the inside otherwise! :lol: Exteror shot shows the thing fully stuffed.

tmp_3750-img_20160519_105446502-1083305463.jpg

tmp_3750-img_20160519_1055234331970747203.jpg

tmp_3750-img_20160519_105512533559248116.jpg
 

Gypsy

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Gypsy

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Poodles4me|1463677956|4033580 said:
Hi Trekkie, go for it! I want to share my story with you. I too made a mistake of telling someone about a purchase I made. And guess what - they berated me for spending so much.

I bought a lovely little Dior handbag in bright orange last time we were in Vegas. It was the handbag of my dreams and a once in a lifetime purchase. My day to day bags are Coach because I find they wear like iron and never seem to wear out. I have been thinking of this bag for years and I finally took the plunge. I claimed it when I went through Customs and the agent was so excited for me. I think if she didn't have people lined up behind us she would have asked to see it. It was pretty sweet actually as I could see she was genuinely excited for me.

I ended up telling my hairdresser this story and showing her a pic of the bag. She knows how I love orange. I made sure not to tell anyone (other than hubby) how much it cost as I didn't want to come across as bragging. OMG - she was up one side of me and down the other. She said she can't justify spending more than $30 on a handbag and doesn't get it when people spend more. Then she started in on my jewellery and being in a different tax bracket. I left my hair appointment in tears. All I did was show her a pic of my bag and told her how excited I was.

I am mad at myself for telling her about it in the first place and and even more angry at myelf for letting her get under my skin. I don't have to justify my purchases to anyone but myself. I know how generous we are to others but we have to be nice to ourselves as well.

Buy your wallet and enjoy it. It's for you and no one else an don't let anyone make you feel bad about it. And please post pics when you get it. :appl:


That's terrible. She would have lost my business! Seriously, she had no right! And it's terrible customer service to boot!! :angryfire:
 

Trekkie

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Poodles4me, I would be SO upset! I'd never go back there!

Good for her that she only spends $30 on a handbag, but she probably has other indulgences that costs her money (cars, pets, travel, food, movies - something!). Why should your Dior bag be something she reacts to so violently? So rude! I find myself getting all worked up now on your behalf! Please calm me down by showing me a picture of your Dior? I bet it is beautiful - I would love to see it!

Gypsy, your wallet is beautiful! I currently have one very much like it. I find it just works for me - the multiple card slots, the large, central coin section, the convenience of the zip around. It's perfect, isn't it? :D That's what draws me to this Hermès - I know the shape and configuration will suit my needs.

What I find super special about the Hermès is that there's no logo, no branding, absolutely nothing to betray what it is to the uninitiated. If you know, you know, but if you don't, it's just another wallet, y'know? Then you open it and the glorious silk is revealed and BAM! Your heart melts. Or at least mine does. I've read every post on the 30 page thread on this wallet over on that other forum *ahem* and one of the recurring comments is how opening the wallet gives the user joy because of the unexpected, happy surprise of the beauty of the silk.

I love that it's the best of both - Hermès leather and Hermès silk, and apparently the silk is reinforced and wears exceptionally well and doesn't pill or snag at all and sliding your cards in and out is as smooth as, well, silk. :razz:

Aaaaaaaaaaand yeah, I'm obsessing about the wallet, lol. Is this what we diamond people sound like to normal people? :lol:

_1179.png

_1180.png

_1181.png

_1182.png
 

MJ_Mac

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Trekkie & Gypsy - I agree that is was not right on her part. I've been going to her for about 12 years and I'm a regular client and we know each other really well. She's outspoken but this floored me. I am trying to give her the benefit of the doubt and chalk it up to her having a really bad day. But I have to admit that I'm extremely careful with what I share now.

Trekkie - which pattern and colour are you going with? Very excited for you.

Gypsy - great looking wallet. I'm hard on my wallets too so it's nice to find one that wear well and suit our needs.

Here's my precious little Dior. She's making her debut tomorrow evening :dance: .
 

momhappy

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If you're having trouble justifying the purchase, would you consider EBay?
I found this:
http://www.ebay.com/itm/BNIB-Hermes-Epsom-SilkIn-Woman-Wallet-/152096289871?hash=item2369a5344f:g:pmcAAOSwiYFXH95Z
It's the only new one that was less than the price of what you could buy directly from Hermes. There are lots of preowned ones too(in every color) if you'd consider that an option as well. Of course, you'd have to be careful of authenticity, but if you do your homework/research, you should be fine.
 

Gypsy

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Sounds like its perfect for you! You definitely should get

Poodle, :love: it!
 

JaneSmith

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Trekkie, you need to plug in your phone. :))











And you need to buy that sweet sweet wallet. And go to Vic Falls, but make sure you go when all the water is there, sometimes it's down to a (relative) trickle ... grumble grumble.

Super delicious bag Poodles! Fire your hairdresser.
 
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