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Just wanted to tell a story...

Arkteia

Ideal_Rock
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Nov 3, 2009
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7,565
It came out of reading this thread about reborn dolls and thinking of parents who lost their children. This story was shown on Russian TV but I do not know all details. Here is how it sounds.

A woman lost her 17-year-old son to leukemia. His sperm was cryogenically preserved at the very beginning of the illness, before treatment was started. In Israel (there are details I do not know about in this story - was he living in Israel? Did he go there to treat leukemia?). Anyhow, his mom was left alone in Russia. After a while, she found an anonymous female egg donor, paid money and served as a surrogate mother and gave birth to her son's son. The boy is now 10, and she is in her early 70-es, lives in a small town in Siberia and raises this child. Alone. She hopes she'll live long enough to help him go through the school and get in a college (he is a good student) and of course now, when this story was shown on national TV, people will help... I just wanted to share it because it is such a wonderful way to fill in the void and do much more - to give birth to your lost child's child.
 

minmin001

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Mar 21, 2011
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I understand what she did but don't agree with it. now she is 70 and the kid is 10..ALONE, if she dies, the kid will have no one in this world. No parents, No siblings, No Grandparents... I mean, I think it's kind selfish of what she did... Yes, the world will help but that can not replace the love of your family....Think before you decide to bring a child into this world...
 

Arkteia

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There may be different ways of looking at it; usually there are relatives and she is in good health. I just wanted to share it, that is all. Opinions, of course, may vary.
 

monarch64

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I used to have some dealings with a company that did cryogenic freezing here in the U.S. Very sci-fi stuff and a giant leap of er, faith?
 

Amys Bling

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Jun 25, 2010
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hmm, not sure if it's a touching story or just a sad (as in I can't believe she did that -sad) story.
 

centralsquare

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Jan 18, 2009
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On one hand it's a nice story of a woman creating life after life has been lost. I find it a bit hard to get over the fact that she gave birth to her son's offspring...maybe he gave his permission before he died, but it feels odd to me that she chose for him to have offspring. To each their own, I guess.
 

AprilBaby

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That is technically incest even if the son is dead. Kinda creepy.
 

susimoo

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That story really freaks me out. IMHO, it goes totally against the laws of nature.

Just because you can doesn't mean you should. :nono:
 

Cehrabehra

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Jun 29, 2006
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part of me thinks it is interesting, even touching - part of me thinks it is kinda creepy. The boy is here now though so that's what is most important - not giving the child shame and hoping she really does live long enough to give him a head start. Not sure who she did the favors for and it's kinda... I dunno, disturbing in some way that he donated that sperm as a minor and also that she carried his sperm inside of her. Just slightly.... incestuous. But ugh, banish the thought... the kid needs support now.
 

makemepretty

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Feb 26, 2004
Messages
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I know people are having children later in life but this story made me sad. The poor little boy will lose what he considers his "mom" so much earlier than a child should have to lose a parent. I actually think in a couple of generations people won't live long enough to see their grandchildren because their children are having them later in life. I have a 53 year old aunt who has a 12 year old but that's a bit different than being 70.

I always get told I look and act younger than I am. I always tell them, it doesn't matter because it still doesn't change my age.
 

maplefemme

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May 12, 2011
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susimoo|1312806237|2986349 said:
Just because you can doesn't mean you should. :nono:
Ditto, some people just have some unhealthy ways of dealing with loss, I feel sorry for them both.
 

smitcompton

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Feb 11, 2006
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Hi All,

The story says she used an egg from a donor. I believe the egg and sperm are fertilized outside the womb and then implanted in the womb. Technically there is no incest. The mother used her womb to carry the child. I'm only sorry she has no help, other than that I understand her loss and her wanting a grandchild. A part of her son.

Thanks,
Annette
 

diamondseeker2006

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Jan 11, 2006
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A strange and sad story for sure. I think I am against childbirth for a woman who is beyond natural childbearing age. As in, if the woman has gone through menopause, she shouldn't have treatments that would allow her to carry a child (with possible exceptions for abnormally early menopause or something). I agree with the others who said it was selfish since this child has a mother the age of most children's grandmothers and she may not live to see him into adulthood. I think modern medicine is wonderful in most ways, but I think we are stepping into dangerous territory with these types of things. I wonder how she paid for all of this?
 

Guilty Pleasure

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May 16, 2008
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I think it's normal to have eggs or sperm frozen before radiation since a survivor may want children later but be unable due to treatment. However, I don't think the sperm or egg of a lost loved one should be used as a "replacement" for that lost loved one, which is what this situation seems to me. I didn't call it creepy because I think it's incestuous. I don't think this woman wanted to "have her son's child" in that regard. It's creepy because she essentially replaced someone and sad because she's too old to care for him.
 

monarch64

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AprilBaby|1312803977|2986340 said:
That is technically incest even if the son is dead. Kinda creepy.
Technically, no, it is not incest. Incest is generally defined as sexual intercourse between people who are too closely related to marry.

Uncommon practice, creepy in the sense that it is so unusual, yes. Incest, by definition, no.
 

Lottie

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Jul 28, 2008
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I think its very sad on all fronts, the mother has lost her son and now the grandson/son she created will lose his mother at a young age. I understand that this can happen to anyone at anytime but I still think the inevitability of it is desperately sad in this case. I also question the decision to make it public knowledge - I wonder how the boy will feel when he becomes aware of his own circumstances. I hope there is a loving family in the background for this child.
 

partgypsy

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Nov 7, 2004
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I feel sorry for her loss, but I find the story sad, and selfish on her part. She did this to fill a void (her dead son). So I feel there is a bit of denial in the way she handled it. I think about how many other children who are already alive, who need a supportive adult figure in their life?

My husband wanted to adopt (he always wanted a son), but now that we are in our 40's we don't think it is fair to either that child or our existing children. I know I've slowed down a LOT going from my 20's to 40's. Instead my husband is looking into other options such as being a big brother, volunteering at a Boy's Club or other mentoring.
 

pregcurious

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Mar 18, 2009
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What a sad story. She must have been in so much pain to go to such lengths to get a piece of her son back. I hope this boy is well cared for during his life, like all children should be. I find the whole thing heartbreaking.
 

Lady_Disdain

Ideal_Rock
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Jul 25, 2008
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How sad.

I wonder if the little boy can really be himself or if his mother/grandmother sees him as a copy of her first child. That would be a heavy burden on him.
 
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