Just because they are family...

[jewelerman]

Does that mean that they will inherit your jewelry when you die or want to gift it to someone when you are done wearing it? I am currently working on my estate and my twin sister will get alot of my jewelry even though she has little passion for sparklers. Some family members are surprised that a lot of it will go to friends and people out side the family.Reason being is that these people have appreciation for jewelry and fine time pieces.I know that these people will still wear and appreciate the pieces long after im gone.Ive read many posts on Price scope about inherited family jewelry being called ugly and in poor taste by the poster.So why didn't the former owner leave it to someone out side the family that would appreciate it and wear it as is?How will you decide who will ultimately care for you treasured pieces(or even things like art or other heirlooms) when you are gone? I personally am thinking about just taking it all with me when i go...they have storage units in heaven don't they?

 

[VRBeauty]

I'm all for leaving it to people who will appreciate it! All the more reason to have your wishes and intentions spelled out in a properly executed will, estate plan, or whatever... or to give important pieces to their intended recipients while you are still alive.

BTW my pastor wears a single diamond earring that absolutely rocks. I'm usually up in the choir loft, but when I'm sitting in the congregation and he's preaching, it's all I can do to focus on the sermon rather than the bling! I'm guessing it's about .75, though it could be smaller and just incredibly well-cut. I got up the nerve to ask him about it once, and he told me that before his sister passed away she gave him her earrings because she knew he'd appreciate them more than anyone else. He comes from a large family and I imagine those earrings could have gone to a sister, niece, or maybe even a daughter... but I'm glad she thought outside the box because now I get to enjoy one of them from time to time, if only vicariously!

 

[Upgradable]

I agree that I would will my pieces to someone who will truly love and appreciate it. Fortunately for me, that is my daughter!!

 

[MichelleCarmen]

I don't have very many diamonds, but the ones I have will be given to my boys. They can either give them to their wives or wait and pass them down to their children. I won't be giving any of my diamonds to my friends. I did plan to will my earrings to my best friend but changed my mind.

 

[jewelerman]

VRB,
That's a great story!Thanks for posting it!I always ask people the story behind their jewelry, and they seem genuinely flattered that i would want to hear how a piece was acquired! They love when i ask "who did you inherit your piece of jewelry from?"because it might be the first time anyone knew that it was old enough to belong to an older relative.

 

[packrat]

I'd want to will them to someone who would appreciate them/wear them/treasure them. Not just to my daughter if she doesn't share the same love of jewelry/gems when she's older..she does now, so that's nice. I'd will some to a daughter in law or sister in law etc, if they had the same feelings about pieces as I do, or if a certain piece made them think of me. If they didn't like the setting and had it reset that would be ok by me, not everyone has the same taste and trends change.

 

[Trekkie]

Hmmm... I'm one of those who recently complained about the jewellery she inherited.

My mother left me a ton of jewellery and I'll probably never wear any of it. She left it to me instead of my brother because she believed that jewellery should always be passed down to daughters. Sons just give it to their girlfriends or wives and then what happens when the girlfriend or wife leaves? The jewellery leaves too.

I do see the flaw in that, especially as I might not have any daughters, but hey, I scored free jewellery, so I'm not about to argue!

I come from a long line of sparkle obsessed women so it's very likely that my daughters (or granddaughters) will be sparkle obsessed too. If they aren't, they're welcome to sell or melt what I leave them and buy/make something that actually does make them happy.

 

[JewelFreak]

This is a really good question. I've been pondering it too as I update the will. There isn't anyone in my family who cares about jewelry, unfortunately & there's mine plus some wonderful pieces of my grandmother's. Or silver -- I have my mother's beautiful sterling flatware + a ton of other silver items. And a gorgeous quilt made by my great-great grandmother & her daughter in 1843 -- who will value it enough to take care of it?

I used to believe things like that should go down in families, and still far prefer it. However, if there's no interest in using or caring well for things, why not direct that they be sold -- so someone who DOES value them can enjoy them -- and the money given to a cause that needs it?

One of my favorite pieces is a bracelet I bought at an estate jeweler. Heavy, thick hand-braided 18K rose gold about 1 1/2" wide. Wearing it, I can feel the spirit of the woman who loved it before me & I think she's glad it's found a good home. Maybe that's more important than blood ties.

--- Laurie

 

[hawaiianorangetree]

I know that my mothers ring (it's her engagement, wedding and eternity ring melted into one, there's quite a few diamonds in it, the biggest is about half a carat) is going to my sister because she is the oldest, even though my mum knows she hates the ring and plans to have it melted into something else.

I will give my diamonds to my daughter. She already takes an interest and cleans the rings she has with a toothbrush just like her mum so I know they will be in good hands.

 

[maplefemme]

I'm leaving all my jewelry to my closest girlfriend, she knows, she loves it and she deserves it. I couldn't wish for a better friend.
I'm an only child, I have two thirty something Stepsisters who are inheritance obsessed, they have gone so far as to sit in my Father's house and discuss openly what they want when he's gone, and after only meeting us a handful of times...neither of us can fathom leaving them anything

 

[rubybeth]

I don't plan on having children so I think my jewelry will go to whoever appreciates it or expresses interest in it. None of my friends are into jewelry except one whose family owns a jewelry store, so it would be kind of weird to leave her diamonds when she can have her pick. My sister could have all of it if she wants, but she's not into jewelry, so I'd probably just leave her one piece as a keepsake. I have one much younger cousin (age 7) who admired my rings this past Christmas, wanted to try them on, and asked all kinds of questions about them so we'll see if that pans out for her.

 

[jewelerman]

This thread brought up a few memories of the women who Ive helped over the years to acquire and care for their jewelry and gem collections... i had two different clients with very large collections that took years to build and both these women told me that they would love to leave me the collections because they knew how much it meant to me and our friendship to help them build it up, and that they were closer to me then their own children.The reason they didn't was because it was tradition to give it to the daughters(one daughter was making plans to sell the jewelry off even BEFORE her mothers death).One daughter threatened her mother that she would sue me if she left me any part of the collection. I guess Karma can be harsh. One of these ladies to spite her spoiled and greedy daughter asked me to liquidate every piece of her jewelry and she took the money and went on a lengthy trip to Europe before she died! I wish i cold tell you that i don't care that i missed out on receiving large sapphire rings by Cartier Paris, diamonds from Tiffany s and rubies set in rose gold from 1940S Verdura.It was just as had seeing these collections disassembled and sold as it was loosing my friends who collected the pieces in the first place because they were like family to me. I would have liked to have had something to remember them by.

 

[fleur-de-lis]

I figure pieces which I have inherited myself should pass on to further relatives of creator of the piece(s), and those which I've acquired/commissioned over my lifetime are to be given away to whomever or whatever entity I want-- probably a combination of friends, relatives, and people with whom I've shared a bond -- especially if those bonds were built on a mutual love of jewellery!

 

[Circe]

I figure pieces which I have inherited myself should pass on to further relatives of creator of the piece(s), and those which I've acquired/commissioned over my lifetime are to be given away to whomever or whatever entity I want-- probably a combination of friends, relatives, and people with whom I've shared a bond -- especially if those bonds were built on a mutual love of jewellery!

This sounds like a very wise and clever solution - I think I will adopt a variation upon it!

I am enough of a collector of various things that I figure the odds of my offspring being into all of it are slim ... so I'm planning to leave my (extensive) collection of texts on folklore to my alma mater, my clothes to a women's shelter, etc., etc. Being as the jewelry is the most valuable part, it can be the hardest to decide about. If I didn't have any suitable heirs, for whatever reason, I suppose I'd like to have it auctioned off and the proceeds sent to the charity of my choice at the time. Right now, if I were to kick it I guess it would go to ... my nephews? And I kinda can't see what two little Swedish boys (from a nation that notoriously doesn't like big rocks) would do with a bunch of bling ....

I've been thinking about making out a proper will: perhaps this will be the impetus I need!

 

[Haven]

In my family the women typically leave their jewelry to the youngest generation of women. For example, when my grandmother died she left her jewelery to her five granddaughters and not to my mother.

I only hope to have a vast enough collection one day that I'll have to contemplate these things! I imagine I'll wear my current diamond ring for the rest of my life, so I'll probably leave it to whomever I like best when I draw up my will.

 

[kenny]

Leave your things to whomever you want, inside or outside the family.
There are a zillion needy worthy charities.

Make sure it's legal, in writing, and your survivors can only get at the document after you're gone... but never tell anyone what's in your will.
It's none of their business . . . as long as you're still breathing.

This way when they argue about it you'll be stone cold.

I recently ended a 40 year very close relationship with an old woman, in part, because she started to push me around and mention very often what she was going to leave me.
No thanks.
Now she can leave it to someone else who will kiss her narcissistic @ss for the money.

It makes me want to puke when I see an old person use the promise of future inheritance as a carrot to control their kids.
"I swear, if you marry that tramp your brother's getting everything!" . . . BARF!

I'd rather see the money go to charity and the survivors go make their own money.

 

[kama_s]

Leave your things to whomever you want, inside or outside the family.
There are a zillion needy worthy charities.

Make sure it's legal, in writing, and your survivors can only get at the document after you're gone... but never tell anyone what's in your will.
It's none of their business . . . as long as you're still breathing.

This way when they argue about it you'll be stone cold.

I recently ended a 40 year very close relationship with an old woman, in part, because she started to push me around and mention very often what she was going to leave me.
No thanks.
Now she can leave it to someone else who will kiss her narcissistic @ss for the money.
It makes me want to puke when I see an old person use the promise of future inheritance as a carrot to control their kids.
"I swear, if you marry that tramp your brother's getting everything!" . . . BARF!

I'd rather see the money go to charity and the survivors go make their own money.

She must've been my mother! Incidently, I pretty much said the exact same thing to her.

I don't have kids, so as of right now, I will divide my jewels (and purses) to my closest friends. I know which friend loves which handbag/jewel the most, so it will obviously be alligned to that. if I have kids, and they don't love jewelry, then I shall leave a token piece to remember me by, and distribute the remainder to friends and other extended family as I see fit.

 

[marcy]

I don't have kids but my nieces and friends might be over here bugging my husband for a piece or two of my sparklies. He'll have them on EBay.