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Job dust please?

Indylady

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 28, 2008
Messages
5,574
Hi Friends! I'm in a little desperate need of job dust. I just got a dream job about 3.5 months ago, but I already feel like I've messed up and am doing badly! Its a tough job and field, with little room for error.

For a little context--this area of work is new to me, and I thought that was communicated when I joined--I thought it was especially clear since I was also bumped down in salary to account for this. However, there is really no one around (most of my team is in other offices or work from home, and they all seem to work pretty autonomously of each other) to train me or show me the ropes--the next person above me is 9 years ahead of me in experience. I know, I know, wah wah, poor me. I don't want to be a whiner, need to be handheld, etc. but there's genuinely not really a guide besides experience. The team also had one internal person around my experience level join the team, so I think that they meant to hire only one but wound up with two juniors, meaning there is more training to do and less work for each., a result of those environmental factors, and of course as a result of some of my own personal shortcomings--making errors by rushing or not proofing well, I'm scared I've already put myself in a place to fail. I talked to my boss about it today, basically explaining that I'm worried I haven't performed well but that I also haven't had a lot of training, and that I'm really motivated to do the job right, and he said he'd talk to some people to see what they thought of me/my work, and get back to me with feedback. It was a fine response, but not particularly warm or encouraging. Have I drawn more attention to myself by saying anything? My hope was to be transparent and to show initiative (because I genuinely do care). But, I'm worried I've now given people a reason to really scrutinize me.

There are some steps I can take: proof read 3x over anything that I do, study on the topic even if it doesn't show me how to do it at work (think reading about drawing blood vs. the actual experience of having a patient's arm in front of you), have a good attitude, keep asking for work, etc. Does anyone have any advice or dust for me? I am totally terrified. This is my dream job. I'm terrified of losing this within months, explaining to potential employers if I'm fired, unemployment (sounds like a joke but I really can't afford it), etc. etc. I realize this is a privileged problem, and that there are many worse things.

Does anyone have advice for me? Maybe a little dust pretty please?
 

Puppmom

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jun 25, 2007
Messages
3,160
Sending you tons of dust! DH was in a similar situation as a web developer. He was very clear about his skill set and they acknowledged they were "throwing him into the fire" but everyone would seem to forget that when projects took a little longer or he needed support. He fortunately has someone tenured who he could lean on. He says he learned more from him on 3 months than he did the entire 2 years preparing for the career change. DH ended up putting in a ton of hours outside of work which lead to sleep deprivation, a worsening of his anxiety and sometimes poor performance as a result. And it gave his employer the sense he was getting things done more quickly than he actually was. I would not recommend that path.

In some fields you can fake it till you make it. In others there's no room for that. I think you did the right thing speaking to them bc it's certainly not going to improve without proper training and support.
 

redwood66

Ideal_Rock
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Aug 22, 2012
Messages
7,008
My best wishes to you IndyLady. I hope your boss takes to heart what you shared.
 

smitcompton

Ideal_Rock
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Joined
Feb 11, 2006
Messages
2,607
Hi,

I think your first step of going to your boss is good. However, You must be clearer, on what you need. It is not enough to say I feel like I'm failing (please don't say that) without saying what help you need. Most companies are the most understanding at the beginning of employment, so now is the time. Get your head around what would help you the most. Then articulate it. If your boss comes back and says everything looks satisfactory, don't stop there. Ask for the specific help you need.

The proofing needs either another pair of eyes, or you have to put it down for a while, and then go back. Can your husband help, or pay a friend to help. I did that with a manuscript I wrote. It helped a lot. A good Sec't also helps.

Organize what it is that you need. 1. 2. 3. ect.

Dust to you

Annette
 

smitcompton

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Feb 11, 2006
Messages
2,607
Hi,

I think your first step of going to your boss is good. However, You must be clearer, on what you need. It is not enough to say I feel like I'm failing (please don't say that) without saying what help you need. Most companies are the most understanding at the beginning of employment, so now is the time. Get your head around what would help you the most. Then articulate it. If your boss comes back and says everything looks satisfactory, don't stop there. Ask for the specific help you need.

The proofing needs either another pair of eyes, or you have to put it down for a while, and then go back. Can your husband help, or pay a friend to help. I did that with a manuscript I wrote. It helped a lot. A good Sec't also helps.

Organize what it is that you need. 1. 2. 3. ect.

Dust to you

Annette
 

Indylady

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 28, 2008
Messages
5,574
puppmom|1481892789|4107727 said:
Sending you tons of dust! DH was in a similar situation as a web developer. He was very clear about his skill set and they acknowledged they were "throwing him into the fire" but everyone would seem to forget that when projects took a little longer or he needed support. He fortunately has someone tenured who he could lean on. He says he learned more from him on 3 months than he did the entire 2 years preparing for the career change. DH ended up putting in a ton of hours outside of work which lead to sleep deprivation, a worsening of his anxiety and sometimes poor performance as a result. And it gave his employer the sense he was getting things done more quickly than he actually was. I would not recommend that path.

In some fields you can fake it till you make it. In others there's no room for that. I think you did the right thing speaking to them bc it's certainly not going to improve without proper training and support.
My anxiety is through the roof--I've had a few serious panic attacks, and of course that leads to second guessing myself at work and putting myself even further behind/out of the loop. I don't really have a mentor/someone to lean on yet, and just don't know what to do about it. :errrr: I wake up frequently at 4-5am, and stay awake for an hour just stressing, before I sleep for another half hour.
 

Indylady

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 28, 2008
Messages
5,574
redwood66|1481906121|4107751 said:
My best wishes to you IndyLady. I hope your boss takes to heart what you shared.
Thank you, Redwood! ::) I appreciate that a lot.
 

Indylady

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 28, 2008
Messages
5,574
smitcompton|1481909224|4107765 said:
Hi,

I think your first step of going to your boss is good. However, You must be clearer, on what you need. It is not enough to say I feel like I'm failing (please don't say that) without saying what help you need. Most companies are the most understanding at the beginning of employment, so now is the time. Get your head around what would help you the most. Then articulate it. If your boss comes back and says everything looks satisfactory, don't stop there. Ask for the specific help you need.

The proofing needs either another pair of eyes, or you have to put it down for a while, and then go back. Can your husband help, or pay a friend to help. I did that with a manuscript I wrote. It helped a lot. A good Sec't also helps.

Organize what it is that you need. 1. 2. 3. ect.

Dust to you

Annette
Thank you, Annette! That's the thing I'm worried about--image is everything. If I admit to feeling that way, I might be 1) showing a genuine understanding of shortcomings and show that I have the ability to improve or I might be 2) showing I'm not worth it. Its such a catch-22.
 

azstonie

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jul 1, 2014
Messages
3,758
smitcompton|1481909224|4107764 said:
Hi,

I think your first step of going to your boss is good. However, You must be clearer, on what you need. It is not enough to say I feel like I'm failing (please don't say that) without saying what help you need. Most companies are the most understanding at the beginning of employment, so now is the time. Get your head around what would help you the most. Then articulate it. If your boss comes back and says everything looks satisfactory, don't stop there. Ask for the specific help you need.

The proofing needs either another pair of eyes, or you have to put it down for a while, and then go back. Can your husband help, or pay a friend to help. I did that with a manuscript I wrote. It helped a lot. A good Sec't also helps.

Organize what it is that you need. 1. 2. 3. ect.

Dust to you

Annette
What Annette said. Its been my experience that people sharing their feelings at work only leads to more 'feelings' and a negative result. It was interesting to me that you said this is your dream job, but it sounds like a hellacious job based on what I read. Jobs are typically the actual work you do, your supervisor/management, coworkers, and end users/clients/patients/students/customers/what have you. What part of your job is the dream job?

Its not too late to follow Annette's sound comment---you actually gave your boss a burden when you shared your feelings without one or two solutions. Its been my practice at work to never complain or comment on a problem until I had a couple solutions ready. This eliminates burdening your management AND getting a solution that doesn't work for you.

That said, DUST to you.
 

Scandinavian

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jan 23, 2016
Messages
2,044
Hi,

I'm a practical kind of girl, so lets try to be practical.

First - never say to anyone at work (i) I'm failing at this (ii) I don't know what I'm doing (iii) Do people think that I'm doing/not doing a good job, or any such thing. That is too negative, and you might give the impression that you are not capable of doing your job. I know it is not meant like that, you just want to improve. But then again.. impression is important. Especially if you are in a man dominated environment. Not because that matters, but because they may have a different way of expressing themselves and thus read different things into your words than you meant by saying them.

Second - if/when your boss comes back to you on the subject. Try to be really positive and result oriented and practical. Say thank you for taking the time to give me feedback. But be casual about it. DO NOT be emotional and/or insecure.

Third - you need to get yourself a mentor or three ;)) You say that you are part of a team. So bingo! Even if they are not sitting next to you, they probably have a phone, right? Start calling them. Send an email. Ask for advice on specifics. Ask what they are doing that week in terms of work. Tell them about your work tasks. They might give you a few tips! Try to build a team and a network around you. Hey - perhaps they would like a closer team network too? Reach out somehow. Even to your boss if no one else is available. Just be practical and DO NOT take everything too seriously. Your work yes, but not the surrounding parts. Just do your job to the best of your ability. And stop stressing. They gave you the job so they *do* like you. But you need to teach yourself how to learn in the environment that you are in, even if that environment is not exactly optimal.

Fourth - give yourself a break. You are doing OK! You just care a bit too much and that is getting in the way of you doing even better than OK.

Fifth - STOP asking if you are good enough!! If you are not, I *promise* they will tell you! And if you do not think you are doing a good job, why should they disagree with you..?

So - I really do not mean to be hard on you, please take this the right way. Sending you a ton of dust! Mostly for you to be happy in your job :)
 

Indylady

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 28, 2008
Messages
5,574
azstonie|1481910420|4107770 said:
smitcompton|1481909224|4107764 said:
Hi,

I think your first step of going to your boss is good. However, You must be clearer, on what you need. It is not enough to say I feel like I'm failing (please don't say that) without saying what help you need. Most companies are the most understanding at the beginning of employment, so now is the time. Get your head around what would help you the most. Then articulate it. If your boss comes back and says everything looks satisfactory, don't stop there. Ask for the specific help you need.

The proofing needs either another pair of eyes, or you have to put it down for a while, and then go back. Can your husband help, or pay a friend to help. I did that with a manuscript I wrote. It helped a lot. A good Sec't also helps.

Organize what it is that you need. 1. 2. 3. ect.

Dust to you

Annette
What Annette said. Its been my experience that people sharing their feelings at work only leads to more 'feelings' and a negative result. It was interesting to me that you said this is your dream job, but it sounds like a hellacious job based on what I read. Jobs are typically the actual work you do, your supervisor/management, coworkers, and end users/clients/patients/students/customers/what have you. What part of your job is the dream job?

Its not too late to follow Annette's sound comment---you actually gave your boss a burden when you shared your feelings without one or two solutions. Its been my practice at work to never complain or comment on a problem until I had a couple solutions ready. This eliminates burdening your management AND getting a solution that doesn't work for you.

That said, DUST to you.
Shoot--I already did this--should I circle back now and make a specific ask?
 

Indylady

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 28, 2008
Messages
5,574
Scandinavian|1481911494|4107773 said:
Hi,

I'm a practical kind of girl, so lets try to be practical.

First - never say to anyone at work (i) I'm failing at this (ii) I don't know what I'm doing (iii) Do people think that I'm doing/not doing a good job, or any such thing. That is too negative, and you might give the impression that you are not capable of doing your job. I know it is not meant like that, you just want to improve. But then again.. impression is important. Especially if you are in a man dominated environment. Not because that matters, but because they may have a different way of expressing themselves and thus read different things into your words than you meant by saying them.

Second - if/when your boss comes back to you on the subject. Try to be really positive and result oriented and practical. Say thank you for taking the time to give me feedback. But be casual about it. DO NOT be emotional and/or insecure.

Third - you need to get yourself a mentor or three ;)) You say that you are part of a team. So bingo! Even if they are not sitting next to you, they probably have a phone, right? Start calling them. Send an email. Ask for advice on specifics. Ask what they are doing that week in terms of work. Tell them about your work tasks. They might give you a few tips! Try to build a team and a network around you. Hey - perhaps they would like a closer team network too? Reach out somehow. Even to your boss if no one else is available. Just be practical and DO NOT take everything too seriously. Your work yes, but not the surrounding parts. Just do your job to the best of your ability. And stop stressing. They gave you the job so they *do* like you. But you need to teach yourself how to learn in the environment that you are in, even if that environment is not exactly optimal.

Fourth - give yourself a break. You are doing OK! You just care a bit too much and that is getting in the way of you doing even better than OK.

Fifth - STOP asking if you are good enough!! If you are not, I *promise* they will tell you! And if you do not think you are doing a good job, why should they disagree with you..?

So - I really do not mean to be hard on you, please take this the right way. Sending you a ton of dust! Mostly for you to be happy in your job :)
Thank you, Scandinavian!!

Your advice is sound, and I appreciate it so much! Most unfortunately--I already did most of the above with my boss yesterday!! 'I'm worried that people aren't giving me work because they don't like my work and I've already burned those bridges.' I asked him what I could do to change it. Goodness!! I should have known. I was going for honesty and transparency--I think I just did more damage than already existed. I can do 2-5. I can not repeat #1. But is there any undoing #1?
 

Dancing Fire

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 3, 2004
Messages
31,544
IL
Sending you lots of good luck dust... :wavey:
 

smitcompton

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Feb 11, 2006
Messages
2,607
Hi,

Of course you can improve on #1 of Scandies comment. When the boss comes back to you with his comments, you, after listening, tell him what you need, without sounding wimpy. /say something like, "After giving this more thought, I need a person to touch base with, or I need a conference with a person every other week to ask questions I may have. Do you have a suggestion who I could ask?"

I can tell you are rather anxious or you wouldn't be quite so negative all around.(like I can't fix this). You are blocking yourself. Stop thinking about this and do something for fun to relax. Go to the Mall and look at the decorations.. Macys on State Street usually looks beautiful. Go to the Walnut Room, have lunch and enjoy the season. All will be well!. Your head will be better.

Have a lovely Christmas,

Annette
 

Puppmom

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jun 25, 2007
Messages
3,160
Indy, sending continued dust. I really feel for you because I know how overwhelmed my husband was. This is not a lost cause. Hopefully you get some direct feedback and can incorporate that and relay what you think you need to continue to grow in the position.

I like SmitCompton's suggestion. Do something to get your mind off of work. It'll be so nice.
 

Scandinavian

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jan 23, 2016
Messages
2,044
smitcompton|1481920650|4107796 said:
Hi,

Of course you can improve on #1 of Scandies comment. When the boss comes back to you with his comments, you, after listening, tell him what you need, without sounding wimpy. /say something like, "After giving this more thought, I need a person to touch base with, or I need a conference with a person every other week to ask questions I may have. Do you have a suggestion who I could ask?"

I can tell you are rather anxious or you wouldn't be quite so negative all around.(like I can't fix this). You are blocking yourself. Stop thinking about this and do something for fun to relax. Go to the Mall and look at the decorations.. Macys on State Street usually looks beautiful. Go to the Walnut Room, have lunch and enjoy the season. All will be well!. Your head will be better.

Have a lovely Christmas,

Annette
+1 to this!

Just be positive and move forward! :)
 

PintoBean

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jul 27, 2011
Messages
6,379
One thing you have in your favor is timing. November through December is crazy with all the holiday madness and people might say things they normally wouldn't with the holiday stress and on the flip side people are also very distracted by the holiday stress so what you said to your boss may have gone in one ear and out the other.

Dust dust dust to you!
 

Rockinruby

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 27, 2013
Messages
2,740
There are lots of great suggestions in your thread. I'd like to say that I agree with doing something to get your mind off of it. If you constantly stress over it then your anxiety will show. Try coming up with some solutions like asking others on your team. Just keep in mind that the other jr member may be less willing to help if they are trying to get the same work as you. :wall: Check to see if there are any web resources or forums for your field where you can research more. :read:

https://lifehacker.com/how-to-make-yourself-indispensable-at-work-1113590784

Sending you lots of job dust! :wavey:
 

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jun 8, 2008
Messages
33,960
Indylady, I am sending you lots of good luck dust for your new job and please don't stress about what you already did. Moving forward is what counts and doing the best you can and being proactive (which you are being) and improving each day. It is not too late and you will be OK! (((HUGS))) and lots of ***DUST***.
 

marcy

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Feb 27, 2007
Messages
23,770
Indylady you've already received a lot of good advice. Sending lots of PS dust your way. Learning a new job and feeling comfortable with it can take time. I agree finding a distraction can help reduce your stress. I find keeping a list of things I want to talk to my boss about keeps me organized and prepared for our meetings. :wavey:
 

chrono

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 22, 2004
Messages
37,367
Scandinavian provided excellent advice!

IndyLady,
*** Throwing Job / Christmas dust your way. ***
 

Indylady

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 28, 2008
Messages
5,574
smitcompton|1481920650|4107796 said:
Hi,

Of course you can improve on #1 of Scandies comment. When the boss comes back to you with his comments, you, after listening, tell him what you need, without sounding wimpy. /say something like, "After giving this more thought, I need a person to touch base with, or I need a conference with a person every other week to ask questions I may have. Do you have a suggestion who I could ask?"

I can tell you are rather anxious or you wouldn't be quite so negative all around.(like I can't fix this). You are blocking yourself. Stop thinking about this and do something for fun to relax. Go to the Mall and look at the decorations.. Macys on State Street usually looks beautiful. Go to the Walnut Room, have lunch and enjoy the season. All will be well!. Your head will be better.

Have a lovely Christmas,

Annette
Smit--you're right, I've been totally anxious. This weekend, I tried to take it easy--take a walk, cook something I like, chat with friends, and altogether do my best to just calm down the nerves. Your idea of an ask is brilliant! Touching base with someone/conferencing with someone once a week means that I get a designated time for training, so it doesn't get brushed under the rug or otherwise take up too much of someone else's time. That is a great idea. And you're right to say I need to stop the negativity--it doesn't get you too far.
 

Indylady

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 28, 2008
Messages
5,574
puppmom|1481925880|4107805 said:
Indy, sending continued dust. I really feel for you because I know how overwhelmed my husband was. This is not a lost cause. Hopefully you get some direct feedback and can incorporate that and relay what you think you need to continue to grow in the position.

I like SmitCompton's suggestion. Do something to get your mind off of work. It'll be so nice.
Thank you Puppmom! I was/still am a little totally overwhelmed. Trying keep the spirits high and perspective within reason now :)) Lots of dust to your hubby too, thought it sounds like he's doing great :sun:
 

Indylady

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 28, 2008
Messages
5,574
Thank you, Missy!! So great to see you!
 

Indylady

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 28, 2008
Messages
5,574
Rockinruby|1481946482|4107851 said:
There are lots of great suggestions in your thread. I'd like to say that I agree with doing something to get your mind off of it. If you constantly stress over it then your anxiety will show. Try coming up with some solutions like asking others on your team. Just keep in mind that the other jr member may be less willing to help if they are trying to get the same work as you. :wall: Check to see if there are any web resources or forums for your field where you can research more. :read:

https://lifehacker.com/how-to-make-yourself-indispensable-at-work-1113590784

Sending you lots of job dust! :wavey:
Thank you Rockin!! I'll definitely check out that article! 8) 8)

Also HUGE thank you to DF, Marcy, Begonia, and Pinto! :)) :sun: ::) I feel so happy and warm hearing from some of my favorite folks on PS. Your time and wishes mean so much to me. I wish there was a happy place emoji (you know, like if Leon, Victor Canera, Pearl Paradise, and Richard Wise shared a gem vault with an open invite to take what you like?? hehe) because I'm feeling it now.
 
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