Job advice-esp. re working from home

[Bella_mezzo]

Hi Ladies (and gents)-Eek!!! So, completely unexpectedly I was recruited for an interesting position. I currently work for a large established non-profit, but it has a horrible work culture (very long hours, very demanding/insane/micromanaging boss, no tolerance for any personal stuff (e.g. coming to work 30 a scheduled 30 minutes late b/c of a Dr's appt is a big deal). I am fairly senior and am very well-regarded, but it's still a really negative culture.

I just had a second interview for a position that I am 99% sure I will be offered by the end of this week. It is for a small (3 full-time and 4 part-time) for-profit company. The job is interesting, the offer should be as good or better than what I have now in terms of compensation/package. The company has been around for 15 years and the financials are good. The position is VP of Business Development and Strategy and requires travel for approx. 2 days twice a month for out of town work events.

The schedule (other than travel) is 100% flexible and work from home. it is a full-time position and a demanding job, but very flexible.

I am fine with the discipline side of working from home, but this is a whole new ball game for me and I am a little freaked about missing the social aspects of working in an office and about working for such a small company. Their financials are strong, but they are a lean operation and they did downsize two years ago when the economy tanked.

A little background: DH and I are in the process of adopting a 2 year old boy B who will be joining our family this summer if all goes according to plan and I am the sole wage-earner for our family (DH is going back to school). I would LOVE the flexibility this job could provide so that I can spend more time with our little boy during the day, especially while he adjusts to becoming part of our family but DH will shoulder a lot of the childcare and after the first few months B will go to nursery/play school for part of the day. If it gets too crowded/distracting in our NYC apartment, I'll rent an office in our neighborhood so that I have a dedicated work space.

1. Any suggestions for working from home and not going crazy from being alone all the time?
2. Any suggestions to build protection into my offer so I'm not nervous about working for such a small company--of course we'll beef up our savings just in case, but I was thinking minimum guaranteed 3 months severance if they need to downsize (I'd prefer 6...), but I am really not sure how to ask the recruiter for that...

Mandarine-If you are out there, I know that you were working from home when your boys were little. Not sure if you still are, but I'd love any input.

Thanks for any suggestions!
Bella

 

[lliang_chi]

Bella,

First off, congrats and lots of job dust to you!!!! It sounds like a great opportunity for you.

I worked from home for my prior company for 1.5 years (It folded when the economy tanked). It wasn't with a kid, but there are some details on the WFH gig you should sort out first. These things worked for me. I'm sure others will chime in.

Firstly, if you can, get an office. If you cannot, pick a spot (NOT the couch and NOT your bedroom) that will forever be your "work spot." I used my dining room table when my sister was living in the 2nd bedroom, then when she moved out, made the 2nd bedroom my office. This adds some "routine" into your day.

Also, the sad fact about working from home, you're gonna log a LOT of hours. Like 12 hrs/day or something. Why, because you don't have to commute and you're essentially LIVING at work. Use an event, e.g. your DH coming home, your son's evening walk, etc as your "punch out" event. Once that happens, PUNCH OUT unless there's an emergency. This will help you keep your sanity and keep you from burning out.

The one down side for me for WFH, aside from the burn out (from the 12 hr days) was that I had no company. No one to talk to during the day, no coworkers. BUT it sounds like that will be remedied from your twice monthly work trips. So I'm not too worried about that for you.

Also, if you can, schedule REGULAR visits with your superior(s) to meet with them, get a feel of how things are going etc. It's easy for people to "forget" about you if you're not there everyday, y'know?

Good luck!!!!

 

[somethingshiny]

Lots of dust, Bella!

My SIL works from home for a non-profit. She has a designated office and a regimented schedule. She has two little ones and has a sitter come in 3x a week while she works. The other two days she cares for the kids and works until my bro gets home. I know she loves it. She doesn't have much of a social life but I don't think she ever really did so it's not a side effect of WFH.

Sorry I don't have more info. I hope it works out great for you, Sounds like a wonderful opportunity to be available to B.

 

[swingirl]

I have worked from home (in business for myself) from the time my son way born. I still needed "light" daycare because making phone calls, running errands, meeting deadlines, etc just wasn't possible with a young child around. Your situation might be different if you don't have to communicate with anyone during the day. When my son was older and in school I worked until 2, then went back to it in the evening. My most productive time to work was after everyone went to sleep.

Regarding socializing, I made a point to occasionally have lunch with friends or clients. Having a child does open up doors for socializing with other parents, too. Working from home can really benefit your whole family but it takes some getting used to. When I first started I felt useless and invisible. But as time went on I found great value to working in my pjs in the morning or in shorts on a hot day. No commute time, able to throw something together for dinner, be home for a sick child, and no guilt for drs. appts.

I hope it works for you.

 

[janinegirly]

Bella, that's fantastic and congrats..what an exciting time for you. I only work from home one day so I'm jealous of this new opportunity - what field are you in and were you seeking work from home?

I have several friends who work from home - I think it is undoubtedly a plus as a mom. There are things to be prepared for though:

1) work space - sounds like you have already prepared for this - you will need some space set aside so that you can close the door and take calls if necessary.

2) you will still need someone to watch your child at leat part-time: again, sounds like you've already covered this with your DH.

I think the one thing I would be concerned about is boundaries since you will be with your DH almost 24/7 and the roles will be shifting with lots of change going on. This could be something that could lead to tensions especially in a small space. The other thing I would want to be prepared for is the 2 day travel - it doesn't sound like much but I think it can get tiring since 2 days p/week is 50% and I'm not sure if these are overnighters.

Overall I think it sounds fanatastic - and the thing I hear most people complain about is being bored with the lack of contact or stimulation but honestly I think that's somewhat moot with you in NYC. You can just step out to a coffee shop for a break if you needed to! Congrats and can't wait to follow your journey!

 

[Bella_mezzo]

Thanks so much ladies! I'll keep you posted

DH is going to have to get out of the house, he'll probably be volunteering at a hospital for a lot of his free time until B comes home and then we'll probably hand off so that we can both spend time with B and still work/go to class/have a little alone time...

So, I'll be back with an update next week...

 

[phoenixgirl]

Bella, I alerted Mandarine to your post, but I don't think she can get on PS on her phone right now. Perhaps you can find a way to connect on one of those big fancy social networking sites?

 

[Mara]

I WFH 1.5 days a week and while I love the extra time I can spend with the baby, it also has it's own challenges. I feel like sometimes I work MORE because I do have a slightly more flex schedule. But I really love that extra time near J.

Designate an area that's your working space and keep it that way. Get help with the kid so that if you have 30 min between calls or whatever you CAN spend it with him but you don't HAVE to move your stuff around etc. I am not sure how big your place is but having a separate ROOM for the office is really great because I can just go in and shut the door and WORK.

Also ditto the others that when you WFH you actually WORK a lot... sometimes a lot more. I end up working in the evenings usually after J goes to bed and it helps me not need to stay at work so late the other days.

Another thing to help with the social aspect, is going out to work at Starbucks or the library or other areas where you will need to get out, drive or take transport, and intermingle with other people. WFH 5 days a week would drive me crazy.

Pre-congrats on the new addition!! Hope you can work this out, it sounds way more palatable than your current situ! Oh and ditto PG on sourcing PS Moms.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

Thanks mamas!!!

I'm not on any of the fancy sites, I barely have time for PS

Since I am also finishing my MBA right now, I think going to class 1-3 times a week will also help to mitigate the stir-crazy feeling and I could dedicate some time to networking with my classmates which would be fantastic, I have no time for that right now.

My ideal scenario would be WFH 2 days a week and in the office 3 or vice versa, but my current company is totally anti work from home and this potential opportunity is only WFH, they don't have a central office.

Janine-I currently do fundraising, strategy, and management for very large non-profits. The potential new job is business development and strategy for a tiny for-profit. So the job is fairly social...

I am a little freaked about working for a super small company, but I realized yesterday that it doesn't have to be forever. I can just do it for the next year or two to get through the transition of welcoming B into our family and then I can do whatever I want. Plus I'll be finishing my MBA in another 1-2 years (depends how many classes I want to take when B gets home) so that would be a natural time to change jobs again if I want a more structured office environment.

 

[Girlrocks]

I have 4 kids and have worked at home since my oldest were 3 years old. They are about to turn 11. I am self employed and it looks like you would be working for a company, so things are a little different.

Dedicated office space is a MUST!

Are there specific hours during the day that your employer is going to expect you to be available? For example, since I own my business and am a contract worker, I can set my own schedule. I volunteer at my kids school, run errands during the day, housework, etc. But I have friends who work from home and they are expected to be in their home office from 8am-3pm daily and available by phone or e-mail anytime during those hours.

When I started working from home, my 3 year old twins had a hard time adjusting. I had previously worked outside of the home and my mom watched them, so they were spoiled, and expected me to cater to them every second of the day. It was hard at first to establish a routine with them. Then as I had the 3rd and 4th kids, they were born into this so they know nothing different. They know when my cell phone rings, they don't answer it, and they are to be quiet until I find out who is calling. When I am in my office working and need to make a phone call, I yell "WORK CALL" and everyone knows what that means!! They know that when I am in my office, I am working and they are to leave me alone (as best a 4 year old can!).

Another positive and that if I want to take a day off here or there, I can just work late for a few days (I work a lot after the kids go to bed, from 9pm-midnight I get A LOT done!) or maybe work a few hours on a Sunday afternoon and I don't come back to a mountain of work.

A Blackberry is my best friend! I use my cell as my work number, and can answer e-mails, edit documents, etc. anytime anyplace.

The biggest downfall is that if I have a lot of work piled up, I know it's just down the hall waiting for me. If we are playing board games on a Sunday afternoon by the fireplace, I am alway aware that I could be in my office knocking out a few hours of work. So you have to be disciplined not only to GO to work, but also to LEAVE it!

ETA...to combat the stir craziness, I take 1/2 days on Wednesday and Thursday to go visit my clients. So maybe a few hours a week in the office would help you with tha.

 

[TravelingGal]

I work from home. 5.5 years now with a major company. 3 years of that with a child in the house.

My two cents -

While you will have a bit of freedom, the bottom line is that you are WORKING. It is very different than someone who is self employed. I work for a company who expects I am working the whole traditional day. I am in my office at 8 am sharp. Childcare comes at 8 (or I drop my kid off at preschool and am in the office at 8:30), but I "act" like I'm working, meaning I am not generally socializing with my kid during the work day. Now that I've really established trust with my boss, I am not strict with myself, nor is he with me. But by that I mean that I admit to him that I have no childcare between 12-1, and that I must take my lunch break to take care of my child and will not be available during that time. Also, I do also now I have slight leeway because if my mom doesn't come to take the afternoon shift, the kid doesn't wake up from afternoon nap until 3:30. I can then deal with her for the hour or so in the afternoon, but then I usually come back on to finish what I need in the evenings. And that's usually only twice a week. My smartphone is glued to my hip ALWAYS, and I leave my computer on until I go to bed. Because I go the extra mile, my boss is really great with me...now.

You do work more. You have to prove more that you are working because you no longer are just present in the office as proof. You'd better pick up the phone and be accessible. And that doesn't mean forwarding your landline calls to your blackberry, or answering emails that way. That ends up being pretty obvious. If you don't pick up the phone when your boss calls, it's very natural for them to wonder if you're slacking. You are on, on, on, on, ON.

BUT...

Despite the fact you actually WORK more, people near and dear to you will think you work LESS. So somehow not only are you bringing home the bacon, YOU are responsible for all child's appointments, or juggling your schedule when the child is sick, etc. Working from home makes everyone think you're supermom, and you tend to be harder on yourself when you lose steam and can't deal with it. Try to avoid that by cutting yourself a break.

Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries. I live in a 1400 sq foot home where my office space (smallest room) is in a highly trafficked area. I am on the phone a lot. Once I'm in my office, I'm in there...in the beginning I holed myself up. With my childcare, I did NOT come out unless she needed me, which included the kid hurting herself, throwing a tanty, or whatever. I. Am. Not. Here. Deal with it. Otherwise you have a kid knocking on your door screaming for mommy. Not acceptable.

That being said, later on when boundaries are established, it is a wonderful perk to peek your head out and get a smile from your kid. The kid knows you are going back on the office and doesn't wig out when you go away again. Plus if you have a great nanny, kids tend to maximize the fun time they have with them anyway. I really urge you, if you get a nanny, to let the nanny do her job and NOT hover. I think this is crucial to many things, least of all your ability to effectively work from home.

I do miss the socialization but the benefits FAR outweigh the cons. Some days I go stir crazy...day in and day out in my office, with no one to look at but my nanny and kid, and then my hubs when he comes home at night. Fortunately I also have a friend who runs her own business and 2 other friends who live nearby who are SAHMs. I try to schedule a fun lunch date once a week or so, which helps me get my social time in. I've told my boss this. He knows I don't get out much and doesn't begrudge me a long lunch once a week or once every other week. But it took me years before I began this. My boss is very old school and very strict, but once he trusts, he's easy peasy.

Pricescope has also been great for me..."socialization" via the net that allow me to have discussions...silly, intelligent, thought provoking, or otherwise. It has been my water cooler for over 5 years.

IMHO the biggest perk from working from home IS being at HOME. I would not get an office, but I know a few people (male colleagues mostly) that do this. I feel like if you set your boundaries and be CONSISTENT in the beginning, you get to enjoy the best of all worlds. Sometimes that means some sneaky scheduling. I try to schedule calls during certain hours of the day. As much as my daughter is pretty good, our house is small and she may get excited and shriek. As a salesperson, I feel it's unprofessional for someone I am speaking with to hear that. I have a job where I can schedule most calls (or call people back at a more convenient time (the nanny takes the kid out for a huge chunk of the morning to the park), which is almost always within 2 hours if someone leaves me a message). If my boss calls, I peek my head out and let my nanny know she needs to do something mellow with the kid.

I'm sure there's more I can say, but I've said enough for now. Hope this works for you!

 

[Bella_mezzo]

Thanks so much!!!! Tgal I thought of you last night and was like, I think she works from home maybe she'll chime in too

I live in NYC in an 800-900 sf apt, so space is limited. We only have two bedrooms a living room and an open dining area. So, I can work in B's room until he comes home, but then I will need to figure something out--the options would be having an office area in our room, working in the dining room when B's not home and/or asleep, or renting an "office" from someone. I would likely be within a 1 block radius so that wouldn't be so bad...

The company has very flexible work hours and everyone works from home, there is no main office. From everyone I've talked to I've gotten the clear message that they are looking for someone who is very self-directed who can be given an end goal and deadline and set their own strategy and timetable to get there.

The one other full-time employee (other than the CEO) is also a professional musician and has a full-time schedule of playing with orchestras in addition to her full-time job. She works 24/7 b/c of that, and definitely works full-time for this company, but most of her work is done very late at night or very early in the morning.

We've discussed how I will be working more traditional business hours, especially since my job will involve interfacing with clients who work those hours, (and that I will not be available 24/7 b/c I don't work that way) but it's not like there is a central office who will be working certain hours and considering me sitting at home sipping mei tais. So, that's one hurdle I shouldn't have to contend with.

Boundaries are a big one that I am going to have to clearly establish, especially since this other employee works such unusual hours.

We'll what B is ready for when he comes home, but he will either be with DH, a nanny, or at a nearby day care (or some combination of the three)...

I'm off to an all day interview/conference/event for this job--the last step before they make me an offer...since the company is so small it's not covered under FMLA, so I talked to the recruiter about B and the adoption and he said I should talk directly with the CEO about it today, so wish me luck! I figure if the deal falls apart based on that then it wasn't meant to be, and if they embrace it that is a really good sign...

 

[lliang_chi]

Bella good luck on your interview!!! Sounds like this would be a great fit. Dust, dust, dust!!!

 

[Bella_mezzo]

Thanks so much! I am so tired, but the interview was good. It turns out that there is a very entrepreneurial aspect of the position that could be really interesting. I am still freaked about the idea of leaving my current job at a stable big company, so we'll see what the offer brings.

The CEO said we'll start discussing terms on Monday...

 

[mary poppins]

Glad to hear your interview went well and the work is even more interesting than you initially thought. Here's a recent article about being a WAHM: http://www.cnn.com/2011/LIVING/03/08/p.new.stay.at.home.mom/index.html?hpt=Sbin

 

[Bella_mezzo]

thanks so much!

They offered me the job Friday and wanted to discuss the terms early this week. I decided I wanted to make sure it was a good fit so I made 8-12 weeks of flexibility when we bring B home (not a full maternity leave as I was willing to continue working, just I wouldn't be able to travel) one of the deal points and the CEO freaked. Said I was demanding and not a good communicator and was not clear and a whole bunch of other things, so I had my answer loud and clear. He rescinded the offer and I would have declined it anyway. Definitely not a good fit afterall! Since the company is so small I wouldn't have been covered by FMLA so I am just moving on and am so grateful I know now as it would have really sucked if I tried to work it out later!!!

So, I am going to keep clawing my way up at my current job and will respond to the other recruiter who contacted me today...

 

[mary poppins]

Wow! Well, congratulations on getting the offer. Too bad things didn't work out after that - it sounded so promising. But it also sounds like it worked out for the better after all. If that's he way the CEO treated you before you were hired, imagine how it would be there after you got the job. Yikes. How unprofessional. You're better off where you are now than you would have been at that place. I hope the opportunity the recruiter is calling you about is better than this recent experience.

 

[janinegirly]

Bella - how's it going with this new opportunity - did you decide to go for it?

 

[Bella_mezzo]

Nope-I posted above, but the CEO got really weird when we got down to the terms of an offer. I decided to make 8-12 weeks of no travel when we bring B home (not even maternity leave, just no travel) part of what I asked for and he freaked. So, I got my answer loud and clear that that was not the right place for me!

We'll see. i am supposed to be getting promoted at my current job, so I think I'll see what they are offering and they actually start looking for something if I don't like it. I want to wait for something that's the right fit and offers some flexibility when B comes home!

 

[janinegirly]

Oh sorry Bella - I didn't see your update above. Sounds pretty unreasonable of him to freak out..to a very reasonable request. Good thing you found out early!