Jewelry fickleness. How do you deal with it?

[arkieb1]

That would be great fun, but from the replies here, I really think we need a support group for bling addiction!

It's not even the bling for me, I've been a gemstone hoarder since I was a kid....

 

[missy]

I printed a picture of Bea, cut it out, and stuck it on my finger with Scotch tape.

No need to do that. I am happy to lend her to you Stracci!

 

[KristinTech]

I buy knock offs on Overstock, Amazon, etc. to try to see if I really do love that “look” enough to spend the big bucks. A $10 investment can really pay dividends in that regard!

 

[KristinTech]

I went from Shiny Rock to Brilliant Rock with that post.

 

[Calliecake]

The pieces i have ended up loving the most were pieces I found, instantly fell in love with and bought quickly.

One piece I spent months thinking about and researching I have worn 5 times. How I wish I had never spent the money on it.

 

[marymm]

I originally came to PS because I love and collect colored gemstones, and wanted to talk CS with like-minded folk. So I came to diamonds (and Rocky Talky) by way of the Colored-Stones Forum.

Interest fact I just realized: I have bought and either returned or later sold every single diamond I've purchased ... literally every single diamond.

The only diamond thing I have now is a graduated carre-cut diamond channel set band from Israel Rose. I love this band in a way that I haven't loved any of my other diamonds... it is simple and classy and flashy in a low-key way ... I think it is a lifer/keeper band but time will tell.

That said, most of the original CS rings I had made for me I still have and wear and enjoy. I have another 2-3 CS stones I plan on setting, and then that's it for me, in terms of my collection. I've been purposefully downsizing my CS collection and my jewelry pieces over the last few years, so basically what I have winnowed down to now are what I enjoy wearing & owning.

I make no promises; I admit I'd like an MRB pendant, and I've been fixated on the idea of a step-cut diamond solitaire for the last few months.

So I get the jewelry fickleness thing for sure! I do get a lot of enjoyment about this interest in shiny things, and I spend within my means, and I enjoy seeing and handling stones and jewelry even if I end up deciding to return or sell. For me, rocks and rings are a journey and I've been having a lot of fun along the way. There's definitely something to be said for that.

 

[hathalove]

I’m happy with my new diamond. Apparently it is my holy grail, as everything else I’ve bought, except a pair of small earrings, lives in the safe or the safe deposit box.
I have no desire to wear any ot it, nor does it elicit any feelings. It’s just stuff.
I don’t feel terrible about this, but it seems kind of silly now how driven I was to obtain it.

I’m happy to wear a few of your items. You know so they don’t get dusty!

I'm in. Anyone got a pair a medium Cartier love hoop earrings I can borrow for a week?

No but I want them! Lol

 

[RosieR]

Favourite purchase; 5.6 carat diamond tennis bracelet. I had wanted one since being a teen. I even asked my boyfriend now husband for a tennis bracelet as an engagement gift instead of a ring, but that didn’t happen, so I bought it myself.
Worst purchase; Cartier sm yellow gold love bracelet. I know why I bought it. I really wanted a simple yellow gold bangle to add to my jewellery collection, however I just looks lonely on my wrist.
No idea how to ‘deal with this problem’ I may buy another bracelet to stack with the Cartier, but I’m worried about scratching, or find dealer who will take it and swap it for a juste in clou. I’m in no rush to rectify this as I may make another mistake.

 

[foxinsox]

I’m “lucky” that my fickleness is stymied by my lack of funds since I’m in NZ and love antique diamonds which are thin on the ground and very expensive on the rare occasion I see them, so I do a lot of virtual shopping. I’ll pin and investigate whatever has caught my fancy until I either work out I don’t love it as much as I thought or it goes on my long term wish list. The long term wish list is where the upgrade plans live
I tend to wear the same jewellery every day with the occasional RH stack variation so that also limits my ability to be fickle. And I don’t wear a watch or bangles/bracelets so there’s an even smaller pool of options!
I’m in the process of starting a couple of modest projects at the moment. It’ll be really interesting to see how they pan out in terms of long term wear or if they’ll be white elephants.

 

[december-fire]

Can you share at least one piece that you have bought and never regretted and one you where you did?

I haven't bought much jewellery, but I don't regret the things that I feel reflected my taste and could be wore almost daily.
Best example, a three-stone ring (diamond center, ruby sides). I've always been the kind who goes for a few classic pieces rather than variety or pieces that I know I'll probably tire of over time. The three-stone ring suited my taste and lifestyle.
Jewellery regrets? Some inexpensive earrings I bought a while back thinking maybe I'd kick it up a bit style-wise from my now-retired-and-no-longer-wearing-earrings-daily look. Waste of money. Haven't worn any of them. Not a big deal money-wise, inexpensive and purchased on sale when a friend and I wandered into a store. She picked up some for herself (she still works and wears jewellery daily to the office), and I thought 'yeah, why not'. But I prefer rings over earrings.

I don't think there's one 'correct' approach towards jewellery purchases. We're all different.
Some enjoy the hunt, some are collectors perhaps more than wearers, some want to wear the same basic pieces while others want to rotate through a variety, and our tastes and lifestyles can change.

Despite a lot of planning, trying things on, considering personal taste/lifestyle, etc., there can still be purchases where we find the item just isn't what we had hoped.
If we can return it, great. If not and its a significant amount of money, well, its disappointing but it may happen occasionally. I suspect most people have made a large purchase or investment at some point in their life that didn't produce the desired results.

 

[ringbling17]

I tend to do the same thing. Wait a bit to make sure I really want something before I decide to splurge. I don’t think I’ve ever regretting buying something that I waited a while to purchase though. Some things I’ve purchased on a whim I did regret.
I’ve always wanted a cluster ring. About 1 1/2 years I saw that Julia B made a rose cut cluster ring that I absolutely loved. But I wasn’t sure if I wanted to spend that much since I knew I would also soon be in the process of upgrading my diamond from WF.
I asked her if I could do a layaway plan and she said for ready made pieces she preferred to have to payment in full.
So I waited. I purchased a moissanite cluster ring on DB thinking that would appease me but I wasn’t crazy about it bc it was round brilliants and too big.
Finally this year I decided to look on eBay. I found a rose cut cluster ring made by Julia B for sale. I made an offer and now I have exactly what I want for almost half of what it would have cost me had I purchased it directly. Which actually makes me love it more!
When things are meant to be they just are.

 

[cmd2014]

I have jewelry regret. Early on I bought a lot of (relatively) inexpensive pieces that I've now come to realize added up to a chunk of change that would have bought me one or two spectacular pieces that I would probably love and cherish more. I wish I had just stashed the money for each purchase away and used it more wisely. I also tend to get obsessed with things, and then grow tired of them. Currently, what I wear daily is my wedding set (it's a modest set as I have not upgraded even after 18 years of marriage because DH is ridiculously sentimental about things) and a basic pair of earrings. I don't have time in the mornings anymore to carefully select an outfit along with a jewelry accessory to match, like I did when I was younger and less successful professionally. I'm honestly lucky if I can find a reasonably coordinated outfit most mornings and get my hair and makeup done. Plus, I've found that my priorities have shifted to other things (I'd rather have experiences instead of stuff, and the freedom to retire early or make a professional change if I want), and that's made my bling budget dwindle to practically 0. It's ok, I love living vicariously through all of you.

 

[nala]

I’ve accepted that I treat my settings like I would any frivolous purchase. Like a high end handbag. So when I get fickle, I trade in and take a loss. I have no regrets about these transactions. The novelty of the new setting is worth the money I spend. That said, I would never custom order an expensive setting precisely bc I know that it’s not the settings, it’s me. My eyes grow accustomed to my ring ever so quickly bc I am constantly staring at it. Lol. So I crave different. And I throw away money on that. But I’m ok with it since I don’t spend a heck of a lot on the settings to begin with or to trade up. All in all, my fickleness in the past 7 years would have amounted to only one high end setting. But the rush that I get every time I reset, is worth it. Bc I know that no setting will ever calm the beast. Lol.
My other jewelry purchases are always estate. And bc of that, when i grow bored, I can unload without taking a big hit. But I don’t really grow bored of most of these. Mostly, I sacrifice them when I find a better piece. The pieces I’ve kept I thoroughly enjoy and taking a trip to the bank deposit box feels like a shopping excursion!
One last thought. A few years ago, I bought an omc that I immediately regretted. Felt like I should have just saved up more and gotten something better instead of going for the deal. Well, after a few years, I’ve grown to appreciate it!!! And am glad I kept it. I would never be able to replace it now for what I paid back then.

 

[luv2sparkle]

I regret a couple pieces of yellow diamond jewelry I bought. A necklace and earring set, and a 1.21 yellow radiant surrounded by pink diamonds. I like the ring better than the necklace and earrings. I just dont think it looks that good on me. Plus, my daughter only wears white metals. I could sell them, I got them for a great price, but I usually regret it when I sell something- so I am stuck.

 

[Golden_bird]

I regret a couple pieces of yellow diamond jewelry I bought. A necklace and earring set, and a 1.21 yellow radiant surrounded by pink diamonds. I like the ring better than the necklace and earrings. I just dont think it looks that good on me. Plus, my daughter only wears white metals. I could sell them, I got them for a great price, but I usually regret it when I sell something- so I am stuck.

Sometimes resetting helps I am the same way!i started to prefer the rings more to necklaces and earrings bcs if they have diamond ,you can enjoy it ,and clean every time you wash your hands , when I take off my diamond studs ,even wearing them for a day ,they look so nasty and oily so I don’t think you can notice their sparkle

 

[mrs-b]

Things I've never regretted:

Heavy gold wedding band bought a year ago. I have the same ring in rose gold and platinum and I don't regret them, either.
12mm South Sea pearl studs, which I wear most days.
My 3 different colored gold bangles, plus my diamond bangle, which was made to go with my metal bangles.
Cluster diamond pendant on platinum chain
My heavy memorial pendant for my dog
A pendant made out of my original wedding rings, which gave me eczema
My 7 stone diamond band

Things I wish I could un-buy:

Everything else. And there's a lot of 'everything else'.

It's not that I don't love my other pieces - I just find that most of them are more dressy than I want to be at this point in life. I like things that aren't complicated, things with smooth lines, things that aren't busy to look at. I've got about 8ctw of diamonds tied up in 2 pairs of earrings, and if I could get the money back, I'd swap them for a well made (and custom made) pair of gold hoops. I have some projects I'm still ploughing through, because I've bought the stones for them. But, truth be told, I'm over it.

My husband and I have been looking at new cars. We umm'd and ahh'd about Porsche, Audi, Porsche, Audi, Porsche.... Went back and forth and back and forth. We're buying a Mazda. A top-of-line Mazda 6 will take me everywhere I want to go. It's comfortable. It's a pretty shape and I can get it in a color I like. It has a lot of bells and whistles. It's enough.

DH and I used to stay at a lot of 5 star hotels for vacations. I reached a point where hotels that nice just seemed tiring. I found I had to dress up to fit the hotel. This wasn't a vacation for me - I've always been a jeans and no make-up kind of girl. I own 4 pairs of cord pants and around 25 cashmere sweaters. Every day in winter - a different colored pair of cords and a different sweater. The general outfit, tho, is the same. About a year or two ago, I just decided that spending money was exhausting. One day I'll have the jewelry garage sale to end all jewelry garage sales. I think I'll like that a lot.

 

[Gussie]

Things I've never regretted:

Heavy gold wedding band bought a year ago. I have the same ring in rose gold and platinum and I don't regret them, either.
12mm South Sea pearl studs, which I wear most days.
My 3 different colored gold bangles, plus my diamond bangle, which was made to go with my metal bangles.
Cluster diamond pendant on platinum chain
My heavy memorial pendant for my dog
A pendant made out of my original wedding rings, which gave me eczema
My 7 stone diamond band

Things I wish I could un-buy:

Everything else. And there's a lot of 'everything else'.

It's not that I don't love my other pieces - I just find that most of them are more dressy than I want to be at this point in life. I like things that aren't complicated, things with smooth lines, things that aren't busy to look at. I've got about 8ctw of diamonds tied up in 2 pairs of earrings, and if I could get the money back, I'd swap them for a well made (and custom made) pair of gold hoops. I have some projects I'm still ploughing through, because I've bought the stones for them. But, truth be told, I'm over it.

My husband and I have been looking at new cars. We umm'd and ahh'd about Porsche, Audi, Porsche, Audi, Porsche.... Went back and forth and back and forth. We're buying a Mazda. A top-of-line Mazda 6 will take me everywhere I want to go. It's comfortable. It's a pretty shape and I can get it in a color I like. It has a lot of bells and whistles. It's enough.

DH and I used to stay at a lot of 5 star hotels for vacations. I reached a point where hotels that nice just seemed tiring. I found I had to dress up to fit the hotel. This wasn't a vacation for me - I've always been a jeans and no make-up kind of girl. I own 4 pairs of cord pants and around 25 cashmere sweaters. Every day in winter - a different colored pair of cords and a different sweater. The general outfit, tho, is the same. About a year or two ago, I just decided that spending money was exhausting. One day I'll have the jewelry garage sale to end all jewelry garage sales. I think I'll like that a lot.

I want to be first in line at tge garage sale!

 

[Queenie60]

Things I've never regretted:

Heavy gold wedding band bought a year ago. I have the same ring in rose gold and platinum and I don't regret them, either.
12mm South Sea pearl studs, which I wear most days.
My 3 different colored gold bangles, plus my diamond bangle, which was made to go with my metal bangles.
Cluster diamond pendant on platinum chain
My heavy memorial pendant for my dog
A pendant made out of my original wedding rings, which gave me eczema
My 7 stone diamond band

Things I wish I could un-buy:

Everything else. And there's a lot of 'everything else'.

It's not that I don't love my other pieces - I just find that most of them are more dressy than I want to be at this point in life. I like things that aren't complicated, things with smooth lines, things that aren't busy to look at. I've got about 8ctw of diamonds tied up in 2 pairs of earrings, and if I could get the money back, I'd swap them for a well made (and custom made) pair of gold hoops. I have some projects I'm still ploughing through, because I've bought the stones for them. But, truth be told, I'm over it.



My husband and I have been looking at new cars. We umm'd and ahh'd about Porsche, Audi, Porsche, Audi, Porsche.... Went back and forth and back and forth. We're buying a Mazda. A top-of-line Mazda 6 will take me everywhere I want to go. It's comfortable. It's a pretty shape and I can get it in a color I like. It has a lot of bells and whistles. It's enough.

DH and I used to stay at a lot of 5 star hotels for vacations. I reached a point where hotels that nice just seemed tiring. I found I had to dress up to fit the hotel. This wasn't a vacation for me - I've always been a jeans and no make-up kind of girl. I own 4 pairs of cord pants and around 25 cashmere sweaters. Every day in winter - a different colored pair of cords and a different sweater. The general outfit, tho, is the same. About a year or two ago, I just decided that spending money was exhausting. One day I'll have the jewelry garage sale to end all jewelry garage sales. I think I'll like that a lot.

I can take some of that bling off of your hands Mrs. B!!!

 

[LLJsmom]

Thanks to everyone who shared. Interesting because it is different for different people. At least I don’t feel like I’m the only one. It’s just that so many people seem so sure and take on such big projects with so much certainty. I will try to stay calm.

 

[MaisOuiMadame]

I'm more like @cmd2014 ..regretting the smaller stuff that could have added up to a nice tennis bracelet or Cartier JuC.

I have purchased a cheap (ish) "inspired by " ring before committing to an expensive VCA project and realized that it just doesn't go with my lifestyle at all. This saved me from a VERY expensive mistake. Actually two, since I wanted to stack. I'd probably try to do this with future big purchases as wel.

 

[cflutist]

Can you share at least one piece that you have bought and never regretted and one you where you did?

I do not regret any of my 4 F-color HPD CBI diamonds and the resulting Symphonie and Trilogie rings.
My one regret is letting dear hubby talk me into buying a Tiffany Fancy Yellow cushion in 18k yellow gold. I knew that we could have done much bettter with @Rockdiamond and DBL, but hubby wanted me to have one blue box in my collection. I wore that ring on our Norway cruise last year and have not worn it since.

i

 

[GliderPoss]

I am similar - I really enjoy the "hunt", the thrill of the chase and doing endless research to find the perfect piece/stone etc. Then when I find it and can finally afford it - I panic about actually spending the money. Happens repeatedly.... I rarely commit to buying something unless I'm utterly convinced that it's the best value I can get as we have been fairly poor most our married lives so I still feel guilty about buying non-essential items. I'm trying to expand into silver jewellery as it's less expensive. I've also got a few gemstones to set so I refuse to buy any more until those are done. I don't regret anything purchased so far but have made some alterations/resetting to a few so I'll wear them more often.

 

[pearlsngems]

@mrs-b -- 2 years ago my husband was shopping for a new car. He test-drove many but finally settled on a Mazda6. It has a bit more road noise than some of the pricier cars he tested but it's been great in every other way.

This discussion reminds me of the 5 Stages of Acquisition (of the Ferengi, on Star Trek)
1. infatuation
2. justification
3. appropriation
4. obsession
5. resale

 

[Calliecake]

@pearlsngems , I wish I could get to the resale stage!

 

[ringbling17]

Thanks to everyone who shared. Interesting because it is different for different people. At least I don’t feel like I’m the only one. It’s just that so many people seem so sure and take on such big projects with so much certainty. I will try to stay calm.

This is why I’m afraid to reset my new ACA. There are so many designs I love and I’m afraid that I will spend all this money on the setting of my “dreams” and then change my mind a few months later.

 

[Asscherhalo_lover]

I buy, I sell, I tweak. It is what it is, it's a hobby. The only thing I've kept since the beginning is my wedding set, I still love it to this day. I also have a pair of studs that are too perfect and were such a good deal that I'll never let them go. Anything else, always on the chopping block.

 

[yennyfire]

I have bought and sold since I found PS as my tastes and knowledge evolved (anyone remember my Diamond District Debacle??!! Yikes!!). That of course, led me (eventually) to my SS oval. My one big regret other than the above "triple D", was my SS three stone, which I adored, but I always wished the stones were larger. The cost of the setting went up quite a bit in the few years I had it that I couldn't justify selling the original and having a new one made.

However, if I hadn't gone thru that, I wouldn't have Bertie and I adore her!

I look and appreciate everyone else's bling, but I no longer have much left on my wish list (just a Rosie to go with my new necklace and studs for DD), therefore (thankfully!), not too much more room for regrets, lol!

 

[Lemonyellow1984]

So glad I'm not alone in this. My weakness is pawn shop jewelry (engagement rings). I hunt high and low for these finds. I have so many now they are on a rotation and I justify this madness because "the settings are delicate so I don't want the rings to get over worn".
I also love that some of the rings have such a story (although I never find them out because the shops I go to never seem to know the history of the rings).
I also love shopping on second hand sites where many ppl sell their "first wedding sets" and get an upgrade.

 

[nala]

So glad I'm not alone in this. My weakness is pawn shop jewelry (engagement rings). I hunt high and low for these finds. I have so many now they are on a rotation and I justify this madness because "the settings are delicate so I don't want the rings to get over worn".
I also love that some of the rings have such a story (although I never find them out because the shops I go to never seem to know the history of the rings).
I also love shopping on second hand sites where many ppl sell their "first wedding sets" and get an upgrade.

Can you please share some of your finds? Would love to see pics!

 

[KristinTech]

Can you please share some of your finds? Would love to see pics!

What she said!!