Jewelry customs that surprised/confused/weirded you out the first time you heard of them?

[AllAboardTheBlingTrain]

"Purity" rings.

It's supposed to signify that the wearer is a virgin and plans to remain one until marriage. It seems to me quite mortifying to be made to declare one's sexual experience level to the general public.

Also, I wonder what happens if said status changes. Do they have to turn the ring upside down or go about with it conspicuously missing?

This is the first thing on this thread that’s actually upset me! Especially since this is probably something girls have to start wearing at puberty you just know that it’s something that’s pushed on to them more than something they choose to adopt. Like, there’s no girls wearing these in isolation for themselves and not talking about it, it’s a community thing and everyone knows what those rings signify. And I agree, it’s mortifying.

I just wonder also how much these girls get mentally screwed up if, as you said, the status changes. God forbid, if they are the victim of assault. Even if it is consensual, it’s got to really screw with the person. It equates having sex with something dirty and shameful - how many of them are going to be okay with the switch flip when, once they’re married, they’re expected to have sex?

I am also very sure that if this is something that a girl is made to wear, and the status does change, she probably will continue to wear the ring regardless because taking it off would result in a lot of backlash. Hopefully the guy she does it with is kind enough to not talk about it.

 

[demantoidz]

Not weirded out or confused, but I was surprised to find out that my grandparent's lay an amulet with a piece of garlic next to their kids while they were sleeping. This tradition was to ward off the evil eye. They were Baghdadi Jews.
Something like this.

Amulet

The following description was prepared by William Gross: From earliest times, man has tried to protect himself from misfortune by the use of objects which he considered holy or otherwise (e.g., magically) potent. Amulets and talismans are items generally worn around the neck or wrist, carried in...

cja.huji.ac.il

 

[AllAboardTheBlingTrain]

A colleague from India told me she didn't have a wedding band but a wedding necklace instead. I thought it was lovely and we had a great chat about Indian bridal jewelry.

Yes, that is very traditional! It is called a Mangalsutra in the north and thaali in the south of India. Most Indian communities traditionally wear Mangalsutra as a symbol of marriage. Mangalsutra literally translates to auspicious thread, and it is a necklace of black/black and gold beads with a gold (and optionally other precious stones, like diamond) pendant. It’s supposed to be like “this thread ties us together until one of us dies”, the husband puts it on during the ceremony and then the wife is not supposed to remove it. She doesn’t need to display it prominently - i think originally it was worn against the skin only - but she is supposed to wear it daily.

In practice nowadays some people do not wear one everyday, just wearing it on special/religious occasions. Younger couples have adopted the ring tradition - not wedding bands yet, but engagement rings are now normal and expected.

 

[AllAboardTheBlingTrain]

Not weirded out or confused, but I was surprised to find out that my grandparent's lay an amulet with a piece of garlic next to their kids while they were sleeping. This tradition was to ward off the evil eye. They were Baghdadi Jews.
Something like this.

Amulet

The following description was prepared by William Gross: From earliest times, man has tried to protect himself from misfortune by the use of objects which he considered holy or otherwise (e.g., magically) potent. Amulets and talismans are items generally worn around the neck or wrist, carried in...

cja.huji.ac.il

That’s really interesting! I find the concept of amulets etc really fascinating. In India also people make little pendants representing a specific god, or other small talismans, and wear them right from a very young age (as babies). Not evil eye specifically, but the general idea is the same.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

Yes, that is very traditional! It is called a Mangalsutra in the north and thaali in the south of India. Most Indian communities traditionally wear Mangalsutra as a symbol of marriage. Mangalsutra literally translates to auspicious thread, and it is a necklace of black/black and gold beads with a gold (and optionally other precious stones, like diamond) pendant. It’s supposed to be like “this thread ties us together until one of us dies”, the husband puts it on during the ceremony and then the wife is not supposed to remove it. She doesn’t need to display it prominently - i think originally it was worn against the skin only - but she is supposed to wear it daily.

In practice nowadays some people do not wear one everyday, just wearing it on special/religious occasions. Younger couples have adopted the ring tradition - not wedding bands yet, but engagement rings are now normal and expected.

If i were an Indian lass about to be married i would want both

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

This is the first thing on this thread that’s actually upset me! Especially since this is probably something girls have to start wearing at puberty you just know that it’s something that’s pushed on to them more than something they choose to adopt. Like, there’s no girls wearing these in isolation for themselves and not talking about it, it’s a community thing and everyone knows what those rings signify. And I agree, it’s mortifying.

I just wonder also how much these girls get mentally screwed up if, as you said, the status changes. God forbid, if they are the victim of assault. Even if it is consensual, it’s got to really screw with the person. It equates having sex with something dirty and shameful - how many of them are going to be okay with the switch flip when, once they’re married, they’re expected to have sex?

I am also very sure that if this is something that a girl is made to wear, and the status does change, she probably will continue to wear the ring regardless because taking it off would result in a lot of backlash. Hopefully the guy she does it with is kind enough to not talk about it.

I know
its weird
Im a generation X'er not a Victorian
I don't know anyone in this country with one but i do know some religious peeps who want to wait until marrage which is fine so long as its her choice

When i first saw promise rings for sale this is what i thought they were for so i thought that was super wired
But of course down the mall jewler they are not - they just want to get $500 out if the pocket of a poor student
But i must have seen stuff on tv about promise rings in the purity sence to even know about them
It just envisions to me overly controlling parents

 

[AllAboardTheBlingTrain]

I know
its weird
Im a generation X'er not a Victorian
I don't know anyone in this country with one but i do know some religious peeps who want to wait until marrage which is fine so long as its her choice

When i first saw promise rings for sale this is what i thought they were for so i thought that was super wired
But of course down the mall jewler they are not - they just want to get $500 out if the pocket of a poor student
But i must have seen stuff on tv about promise rings in the purity sence to even know about them
It just envisions to me overly controlling parents

Oh it’s totally fine if you want to personally wait until marriage, it’s only a problem when you’re taught that your life will be irreparably ruined, you’ll spend the next seventeen lives as a cockroach, you have brought shame and dishonour upon you, your family and your cow, you’ve condemned whatever hapless fool deigns to marry you to a thankless, pitiful existence of misery and that your soul will burn in the fiery pits of Hell if you have sex.

Promise rings I believe don’t have these icky overtones, though I agree with you, they’re just an excuse to get money out of students. Every person I saw wearing a promise ring was exclusively a high school student and all their relationships ended lol.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

Now I can't unsee that ... Especially the nose. Interesting for med students though...

And dentists

 

[pearlsngems]

...I don’t even follow the logic, actually, what about providing an engagement ring on holiday makes it impossible to ask for it back versus proposing at home? I see what you mean about it being similar to prenups (which I’m honestly a fan of) in that it’s a practical thing to think of, but it seems so much more unromantic and fatalist than prenups (that I consider a sort of divorce-insurance).

Not "on holiday" (vacation) but rather as a gift for a holiday-- such as Christmas, birthday, Valentine's Day. If the engagement were called off, courts may view a ring the woman received for her birthday, Christmas etc. as a non-conditional gift, which would not have to be returned-- whereas if the ring were given to her at another time it could be viewed as a conditional gift, and would need to be returned if the condition (marriage) were not met.

 

[seaurchin]

Yes, I don't recall seeing promise rings after high school either. It meant "engaged to be engaged," for teens too young to reasonably think about marriage.

There's also the girl wearing her boyfriend's high school ring (or it used to be a tradition anyway). That would be "going steady, a step below being "promised."

In past generations in the US, girls would be "pinned." That would be wearing her boyfriend's fraternity pin, so it would be college age, for him anyway. Another "pre-engagement" thing.

 

[seaurchin]

Oh, another one is a "push present," which is usually jewelry.

Back when I had my babies, I had never heard of that. Your husband might bring you some flowers or maybe even a piece of jewelry to give you at the hospital after the birth, but it wasn't "required" and didn't have a name.

So, yeah, that did kind of weird me out. Both the expectation of an expensive gift and the term, "push" present. It's just a little too graphic for my tastes.

 

[AllAboardTheBlingTrain]

Not "on holiday" (vacation) but rather as a gift for a holiday-- such as Christmas, birthday, Valentine's Day. If the engagement were called off, courts may view a ring the woman received for her birthday, Christmas etc. as a non-conditional gift, which would not have to be returned-- whereas if the ring were given to her at another time it could be viewed as a conditional gift, and would need to be returned if the condition (marriage) were not met.

Oh I get it now! I read “on holiday” as “on vacation” and was so confused

Oh, another one is a "push present," which is usually jewelry.

Back when I had my babies, I had never heard of that. Your husband might bring you some flowers or maybe even a piece of jewelry to give you at the hospital after the birth, but it wasn't "required" and didn't have a name.

So, yeah, that did kind of weird me out. Both the expectation of an expensive gift and the term, "push" present. It's just a little too graphic for my tastes.

I’ve never heard the term “push present” either! I recall hearing my mom receiving a piece of jewelry for birthing me, but that was from the whole family, not just the husband, and they didn’t call it a push present either. I agree the term is weird.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

Not "on holiday" (vacation) but rather as a gift for a holiday-- such as Christmas, birthday, Valentine's Day. If the engagement were called off, courts may view a ring the woman received for her birthday, Christmas etc. as a non-conditional gift, which would not have to be returned-- whereas if the ring were given to her at another time it could be viewed as a conditional gift, and would need to be returned if the condition (marriage) were not met.

Understood but i do not like the whole idea

 

[m-cubed]

I just wonder also how much these girls get mentally screwed up if, as you said, the status changes. God forbid, if they are the victim of assault. Even if it is consensual, it’s got to really screw with the person. It equates having sex with something dirty and shameful - how many of them are going to be okay with the switch flip when, once they’re married, they’re expected to have sex?

This was the case with a woman I knew. She was from an evangelical background, and when she did get married, she had a lot of trouble being intimate with her husband. The marriage eventually broke up, and that was one of the reasons. It took her a long time to overcome that conditioning. She is doing well now and happily remarried.

 

[m-cubed]

Yes, that is very traditional! It is called a Mangalsutra in the north and thaali in the south of India.

A friend of mine got married and got one of these. She told me she was supposed to wear it with the concave side of the pendant out when first married. Some sort of symbol of catching a baby/fertility, as I recall. And then wear it with the concave side down later.

 

[MrsBlue]

Yes, that is very traditional! It is called a Mangalsutra in the north and thaali in the south of India. Most Indian communities traditionally wear Mangalsutra as a symbol of marriage. Mangalsutra literally translates to auspicious thread, and it is a necklace of black/black and gold beads with a gold (and optionally other precious stones, like diamond) pendant. It’s supposed to be like “this thread ties us together until one of us dies”, the husband puts it on during the ceremony and then the wife is not supposed to remove it. She doesn’t need to display it prominently - i think originally it was worn against the skin only - but she is supposed to wear it daily.

In practice nowadays some people do not wear one everyday, just wearing it on special/religious occasions. Younger couples have adopted the ring tradition - not wedding bands yet, but engagement rings are now normal and expected.

Her own wedding necklace was long, very simple. and worn next to her skin. She pulled it up a bit to show me. She said that married status was also indicated by toe rings, nose rings, and bracelets but she saved those for special occasions because she felt a bit odd wearing them in a Western office. Funnily enough, she started the conversation because I was wearing a wristful of bracelets at our office without the slightest bit of concern for anyone's opinion.

I think we should all welcome a colorful, jewelled rebellion against corporate trends. The gray suits won't die from exposure to bracelets, toe rings, and bright colors.

 

[AllAboardTheBlingTrain]

A friend of mine got married and got one of these. She told me she was supposed to wear it with the concave side of the pendant out when first married. Some sort of symbol of catching a baby/fertility, as I recall. And then wear it with the concave side down later.

Oh I’ve never heard of that (the concave pendant) thing, but my family aren’t super traditional. My mom never wears her mangalsutra (her pendant is flat) for example. Or maybe it’s for a specific community. So I learned something new! Thank you!

Her own wedding necklace was long, very simple. and worn next to her skin. She pulled it up a bit to show me. She said that married status was also indicated by toe rings, nose rings, and bracelets but she saved those for special occasions because she felt a bit odd wearing them in a Western office. Funnily enough, she started the conversation because I was wearing a wristful of bracelets at our office without the slightest bit of concern for anyone's opinion.

I think we should all welcome a colorful, jewelled rebellion against corporate trends. The gray suits won't die from exposure to bracelets, toe rings, and bright colors.

Wow, she actually wears the toe rings?? I’m impressed, they’re super uncomfortable! I’ve tried them on in the past, and I find them really difficult to wear for more than 10 minutes.

Nose rings are super common amongst Indian women (especially my mom’s generation and older) but I didn’t realise it was a “married woman” thing because I know a lot of unmarried women who also have nose piercings (they got them in high school or college). I like how they look, but I can’t get one, because they look ridiculous on me. My mom wears a (clip on) nose ring at all special occasions though.

Another married woman signal is sindoor, which is vermillion powder, applied to the middle parting of the hair. Again something that’s slowly going out of fashion amongst younger women, at least from what I see.

 

[victoriangurl96]

Choking hazard much?...

Veronica

Circa 1920s 14K Yellow Gold Baby Ring - VEG#631 Gorgeous antique baby ring circa 1920!. This ring is handcrafted in 14k yellow gold and is the perfect accessory for any baby. The band has a marvelous floral design running along the entire band. Details Item Details: Ring Size: .75Metal Type...

www.vermaestatejewelry.com

 

[AllAboardTheBlingTrain]

Choking hazard much?...

Veronica

Circa 1920s 14K Yellow Gold Baby Ring - VEG#631 Gorgeous antique baby ring circa 1920!. This ring is handcrafted in 14k yellow gold and is the perfect accessory for any baby. The band has a marvelous floral design running along the entire band. Details Item Details: Ring Size: .75Metal Type...

www.vermaestatejewelry.com

I’ll have to ask my mom how she handled it with me, I had a ring given to me when I was a baby!

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

Her own wedding necklace was long, very simple. and worn next to her skin. She pulled it up a bit to show me. She said that married status was also indicated by toe rings, nose rings, and bracelets but she saved those for special occasions because she felt a bit odd wearing them in a Western office. Funnily enough, she started the conversation because I was wearing a wristful of bracelets at our office without the slightest bit of concern for anyone's opinion.

I think we should all welcome a colorful, jewelled rebellion against corporate trends. The gray suits won't die from exposure to bracelets, toe rings, and bright colors.

Jewlery aside i absolutly despise grey on anything
Working in Wellington grey was everywhere and on everybody and the houses, inside and out and the roof even
So bl**dy boring, unimaginative and depressing especially in the winter on those all too frequent wild and windy days
Now the colour silver is another matter entirely ......
So yes ! Im with you in your colour rebellion
I make sure to always have some thing orange in my wardrobe

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

Opps
Our cats are both grey ....
I might be on the receiving end of a swip or two latter