IYO...should parents collect rent from their kids?

[Dancing Fire]

yesterday i was joking with my daughter now that she just gotten a job transfer back home.

i said...since you were paying $500 rent for a room in the S.F. bay area why don''t you pay me the $500 from now on?

 

[kenny]

I'd say it depends.
I've heard some parents say as long as they are going to college they can stay rent free.
That sounds reasonable to me.

I do think it is possible for some kids to stay too long and some parents to be too wimpy to tell them to leave.

I think if they can pay rent they should be paying for their own place.

 

[Karl_K]

depends on the situation.
In school? then no.
Adult kids who are just living at home because they can then yes.
What a friend of mine did was charge her rent but put all the money into a bank account then gave it to her as a down payment on her house.

 

[jewelz617]

Date: 3/15/2010 11:38:50 AM
Author: Karl_K
depends on the situation.

In school? then no.

Adult kids who are just living at home because they can then yes.

What a friend of mine did was charge her rent but put all the money into a bank account then gave it to her as a down payment on her house.

This is exactly what my parents did when I left school. I eventually had enough for a nice little down payment on my first solo apartment.

 

[princesss]

Adults work to cover their own expenses. If you are not in school the majority of your time actively working towards a degree, IMO you should pay rent regardless of where you live.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Depends upon the situation. If the adult child is working and barely making it (and that is why the kid is still at home) then no, they shouldn't have to pay rent. If the kid has a great paying job and is at home only so he/she can buy fancy toys/new car, etc., then yes, that kid should be paying rent.

As long as my kids are in college, they can live at home rent free as long as they contribute to the household chores.

ETA - if my child was on his own and paying $500 a month rent, if he decided to move back in with me, he'd have to pay rent. Really. . .would I want my kid to move back in with me once he is in his 20s? No. And, I wouldn't give him a free ride by moving back in.

 

[charbie]

Date: 3/15/2010 11:38:50 AM
Author: Karl_K
depends on the situation.
In school? then no.
Adult kids who are just living at home because they can then yes.
What a friend of mine did was charge her rent but put all the money into a bank account then gave it to her as a down payment on her house.

i agree 100%.
i get so angry with my mom since she doesn't collect rent from my sister, and my sister just takes advantage of the situation. she has no concept of money, is an utter slob, and my mom cannot do anything about it- we've had many many conversations about it. my sister doesn't have the money to move out on her own, but she does work full time.
ETA: she could potentially move out on her own. she would then have to do laundry tho, instead of just purchasing new clothes, purchase items to clean and sanitize things instead of just letting them get disgusting, and not make stupid decisions about money. actually, now that i think about it, her credit is so poor there is a chance she never could get an apartment...

(canyoutellimbitter?)

 

[Haven]

I think this is a cultural thing. My parents would have preferred it if I stayed at home until I married.

Families that are more "old country" seem to have really different opinions on things like this. (And the "old country" can vary quite a lot!) All of my friends who are also the children of immigrants for first generation Americans had the same pressure I had to stay at home as long as possible. Our parents wouldn't dream of asking for rent, but we are definitely expected to chip in whatever we can if the family ever has financial difficulties.

I know parents who collected a small amount of rent and then gave the lump sum of what they collected to their child when he moved out as a surprise. I think that is a nice thing to do. If your child pays you $300 a month and lives at home for three years, that's a pretty nice amount of cash he was forced to save! That way, the child is still paying rent, since he doesn't know it will be coming back to him whenever he moves out, and I think that's a pretty good lesson on how quickly little things can add up.

 

[Maisie]

My son is at university and gets loans and maintainance grants. He does pay rent to live here but its not very much. £30 per week. If he moved out and then wanted to move back in I would say no. Once he has flown the nest its time for him to fend for himself. I don''t want him to think that he can keep running home.

 

[kama_s]

Date: 3/15/2010 11:51:03 AM
Author: MC
Depends upon the situation. If the adult child is working and barely making it (and that is why the kid is still at home) then no, they shouldn''t have to pay rent. If the kid has a great paying job and is at home only so he/she can buy fancy toys/new car, etc., then yes, that kid should be paying rent.

As long as my kids are in college, they can live at home rent free as long as they contribute to the household chores.

ETA - if my child was on his own and paying $500 a month rent, if he decided to move back in with me, he''d have to pay rent. Really. . .would I want my kid to move back in with me once he is in his 20s? No. And, I wouldn''t give him a free ride by moving back in.

Exactly this. If they''re in university, no rent but they will be expected to help out with chores. Once they have a job, I''d definitely expect rent (but collect it and give it to them at their wedding, or when they buy a house). To be absolutely honest, once they''re earning I would prefer if they moved out and got their own place. I want to teach them financial responsibility, which they would never learn if they always got a free ride along with a mum to do their laundry.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 3/15/2010 11:51:03 AM
Author: MC
Depends upon the situation. If the adult child is working and barely making it (and that is why the kid is still at home) then no, they shouldn''t have to pay rent. If the kid has a great paying job and is at home only so he/she can buy fancy toys/new car, etc., then yes, that kid should be paying rent.

As long as my kids are in college, they can live at home rent free as long as they contribute to the household chores.

ETA - if my child was on his own and paying $500 a month rent, if he decided to move back in with me, he''d have to pay rent. Really. . .would I want my kid to move back in with me once he is in his 20s? No. And, I wouldn''t give him a free ride by moving back in.

if i did that she may never save enough money for a d/p on a house. i don''t know,i can''t do it,maybe it is a culture difference b/t Chinese and Americans?

 

[packrat]

I lived at home until 27, when JD and I got married. (aside from a few months in AZ and also living w/a boyfriend before that) I didn''t pay anything. I worked full time and spent at the very least 20 hours a week working on the acreage.

 

[Mrs Mitchell]

DH and I were talking about this recently. We reckon that by the time our daughter is an adult, it will be nigh on impossible to buy property in the UK unless you win the lottery. We may split the house in half, so we could downsize and she could have a home of her own.

I can''t charge her rent though, as it actually belongs to her, not us. It''s held in trust until we die, but technically, we should be paying her rent.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

I think if a child is a working adult living at home then they should pay rent. I think $500 (including utilities) is a reasonable amount and you should charge extra for food.

 

[Lilac]

I think it really depends on the situation. My parents would never have accepted any money from me. They still try to give me money now and I''m the one who won''t take it sometimes! I lived at home until I got married, which happened to be my junior year of college. My mom would have liked me to stay living at home for many more years if I hadn''t gotten married.

My husband lived at home until we got married also - but he had been out of school and working for almost a year. His parents always made comments about how he should be paying them rent and things like that, but he did their laundry, he did all the dishes, he babysat his siblings many times when his parents went out, he ran errands for his parents, and he very rarely if ever ate the food at home. When we got married and he moved out, they hired cleaning help to come twice a week to do all the laundry, dishes, and cleaning and they had to start hiring babysitters. It cost them a lot more because they no longer had my husband around to do all those things. So while he wasn''t paying them rent every month when he lived there, he was providing things to them and saving them tons of money that they would have had to spend if he wasn''t living at home (which now they have to spend because he isn''t around to do those things anymore).

So I think it entirely depends on the situation and on the parents. If an adult child lives at home and eats all the food, comes and goes as he pleases, takes advantage of the fact that mom and dad will continue to do everything for him, then yes, he should pay rent. But if he does the family''s errands, laundry, dishes, and anything else asked of him, and saves the parents hundreds of dollars a month in that way, then I think that saves the parents enough money each month that he shouldn''t have to pay rent also.

Personally, I would never take rent from my kids. I do understand parents who do if their kid is out of school and working and can afford it, but I don''t think I ever could.

 

[DivaDiamond007]

Date: 3/15/2010 11:52:41 AM
Author: charbie

Date: 3/15/2010 11:38:50 AM
Author: Karl_K
depends on the situation.
In school? then no.
Adult kids who are just living at home because they can then yes.
What a friend of mine did was charge her rent but put all the money into a bank account then gave it to her as a down payment on her house.

i agree 100%.
i get so angry with my mom since she doesn''t collect rent from my sister, and my sister just takes advantage of the situation. she has no concept of money, is an utter slob, and my mom cannot do anything about it- we''ve had many many conversations about it. my sister doesn''t have the money to move out on her own, but she does work full time.
ETA: she could potentially move out on her own. she would then have to do laundry tho, instead of just purchasing new clothes, purchase items to clean and sanitize things instead of just letting them get disgusting, and not make stupid decisions about money. actually, now that i think about it, her credit is so poor there is a chance she never could get an apartment...

(canyoutellimbitter?)

I agree with both of you.

My sister is 26 and still lives at home, rent-free, works full-time and squanders all of her money on horse this and horse that and new clothes and new makeup, etc. Her laundry is piled up in the corner of the room that she never cleans....I could go on but you get the point.

My mom and dad are too nice to charge her rent, but I know that if it were me I''d be paying out my a$$ to them.

My sister is a smart girl, but she has no idea what it takes to run a household or how to handle money. I''ve tried to talk to her (nicely) about it but it goes in one ear and out the other. She has a low credit score because she has no credit (ok, a cell phone that doesn''t report, student loans and one cc with an $800 limit) so I don''t think that she could get an apartment without a huge security deposit and possibly a co-signer. I shudder to think of what will happen when her now 12 year old car that my parents gave to her dies.

In a way, it makes me feel good that I''ve made my own way in this world.

 

[movie zombie]

Date: 3/15/2010 12:50:58 PM
Author: Hudson_Hawk
I think if a child is a working adult living at home then they should pay rent. I think $500 (including utilities) is a reasonable amount and you should charge extra for food.

+ one.

also, set ground rules before she moves back in. make it clear if the rules aren''t followed she moves out. does she have to clean up after herself, do dishes, do her own laundry, cook her own meals, clean her bathroom, etc.? if she''s not willing to take care of herself and you and your wife have to do these things for her, then charge more $.

mz

 

[Hest88]

I think it's all about the expectations on the parents' side NOT the kid's side. Lemme explain...a child should never *expect* to freeload off of his parents, and an adult with a job should offer to pay rent or utilities or something toward his board. However, if the parents tell the child he doesn't have to pay rent or anything else, then that's their perogative.

Either way, the kid also shouldn't act like a 9 year old and make sure he's cooking/cleaning or whatever to contribute to the household.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 3/15/2010 12:29:21 PM
Author: Dancing Fire
if i did that she may never save enough money for a d/p on a house. i don't know,i can't do it,maybe it is a culture difference b/t Chinese and Americans?

If there is a goal in mind such as saving for a house, then that's entirely different than her not paying rent and spending the money on unnessary material goods, you know. Is your daughter financially responsible? Can you collect "rent," which is actually a fund for her future house downpayment? Personally, I think charging her to help her out in the long run is a great idea.

ETA - you've mentioned in past posts that your daughter charges on credit cards and doesn't pay them off? That you end up having to? Maybe set her up with a financial planner.

 

[lyra]

I''m very certain that both of my daughters are counting the days until they can move out of the house. They are both in college. I would not charge them rent, but then I don''t forsee either of them moving home again after they do leave either. We have been discussing finances and jobs with them for a very long time. They are capable of saving their own money too.

 

[elrohwen]

I think it depends. If my kid was living at home while going to college, then no, I wouldn't charge rent. If my kid had a good job and could easily afford to rent an apartment, I would charge rent - maybe $400-500. It also depends on the kid - if the kid is generally looking for handouts, I would make it more difficult to live at home. If my kid was generally very responsible but going through job loss or a hard time, then I probably wouldn't charge rent.

eta: I like the idea of collecting rent but giving it back when the kid moved out, perhaps to be put towards a downpayment.

 

[purselover]

Date: 3/15/2010 12:29:21 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 3/15/2010 11:51:03 AM
Author: MC
Depends upon the situation. If the adult child is working and barely making it (and that is why the kid is still at home) then no, they shouldn't have to pay rent. If the kid has a great paying job and is at home only so he/she can buy fancy toys/new car, etc., then yes, that kid should be paying rent.

As long as my kids are in college, they can live at home rent free as long as they contribute to the household chores.

ETA - if my child was on his own and paying $500 a month rent, if he decided to move back in with me, he'd have to pay rent. Really. . .would I want my kid to move back in with me once he is in his 20s? No. And, I wouldn't give him a free ride by moving back in.

if i did that she may never save enough money for a d/p on a house. i don't know,i can't do it,maybe it is a culture difference b/t Chinese and Americans?

You could tell her she has to pay rent and then give it back to her when she is ready to leave.

Personally I would want my child to live on their own starting with college (although I would pay for their dorm and let them come home rent free for vacations.) After college I would rather pay the first few months on their apartment while they get a job and save money and then have them take over rather than let them move back in. This is what my parents did for DH and I and it helped us enormously while still teaching independence. I'm shocked by the number of 24/25 year olds I know still at home, no one wants to give up free rent, I bet if their parents charged they would all leave.

ETA: If my child suddenly got laid off or something similar then I would let them live with me rent free until they could "land on their feet"

ETA2: In your situation I would do the above as well, let her live back at home rent free for a few months while she looks for an apartment.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 3/15/2010 1:04:31 PM
Author: MC

Date: 3/15/2010 12:29:21 PM
Author: Dancing Fire
if i did that she may never save enough money for a d/p on a house. i don''t know,i can''t do it,maybe it is a culture difference b/t Chinese and Americans?

If there is a goal in mind such as saving for a house, then that''s entirely different than her not paying rent and spending the money on unnessary material goods, you know. Is your daughter financially responsible? Can you collect ''rent,'' which is actually a fund for her future house downpayment? Personally, I think charging her to help her out in the long run is a great idea.

ETA - you''ve mentioned in past posts that your daughter charges on credit cards and doesn''t pay them off? That you end up having to? Maybe set her up with a financial planner.

not in the past 8 months since she moved out of town.

she had become a saver,but now that she move back home i hope she''ll continue to save her money.

 

[LilyKat]

I would ask any adult, earning children to contribute to the household.

Not for the money itself. But to teach them a sense of responsibility and independence in supporting themselves - which is well worth paying a few hundred dollars a month for.

If they cannot afford to contribute financially, but make a significant contribution in other ways (such as Lilac''s husband did with household chores), that would be fine as an alternative.

 

[jewelerman]

kids should pay some rent if they are working.If they are going to school then they can go rent free but must help with up keep on the house.Every thing has a price or consiquence.

 

[IloveAsschers13]

Date: 3/15/2010 1:39:20 PM
Author: elrohwen
I think it depends. If my kid was living at home while going to college, then no, I wouldn''t charge rent. If my kid had a good job and could easily afford to rent an apartment, I would charge rent - maybe $400-500. It also depends on the kid - if the kid is generally looking for handouts, I would make it more difficult to live at home. If my kid was generally very responsible but going through job loss or a hard time, then I probably wouldn''t charge rent.


eta: I like the idea of collecting rent but giving it back when the kid moved out, perhaps to be put towards a downpayment.

Gah! That''s more than I pay for my rent at school, including groceries!

 

[FrekeChild]

We have just moved in with my dad, and are renting out our condo. My dad is willing to let us live here rent free, but we have taken it upon ourselves to pay for the difference in expenses-whatever the electric bill goes up, we''ll pay, same for cable, water, etc. However, I also cook, clean,do the yard work, do laundry and dishes, and my husband cooks, takes the garbage out, does laundry and dishes, as well as home improvement.

Meanwhile, he gets company and doesn''t have to do any chores. Heck, I''d say he''s got a sweet deal!

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Date: 3/15/2010 2:36:00 PM
Author: IloveAsschers13

Date: 3/15/2010 1:39:20 PM

Author: elrohwen

I think it depends. If my kid was living at home while going to college, then no, I wouldn''t charge rent. If my kid had a good job and could easily afford to rent an apartment, I would charge rent - maybe $400-500. It also depends on the kid - if the kid is generally looking for handouts, I would make it more difficult to live at home. If my kid was generally very responsible but going through job loss or a hard time, then I probably wouldn''t charge rent.



eta: I like the idea of collecting rent but giving it back when the kid moved out, perhaps to be put towards a downpayment.

Gah! That''s more than I pay for my rent at school, including groceries!

Keyword being school. Please see above for opinions about students living at home vs employed adults living at home.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

collect the $500/month rent (she''ll also be getting free food presumeably) but it in an acct and when she moves out give it back to her, she''ll have a great downpayment.

 

[MonkeyPie]

I never paid rent, but I paid for two bills that I affected by being at home - electricity and cable.