IYO...should parents collect rent from their kids?

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 3/15/2010 1:40:46 PM
Author: purselover

ETA2: In your situation I would do the above as well, let her live back at home rent free for a few months while she looks for an apartment.

why waste the $700 rent money? it doesn''t make sense for her to move 2 blocks down and pay $700 per month for an apartment.

 

[radiantquest]

I think that they should. Regardless of their situation. It doesnt have to be $500 a month it can be very small, but I think it is important to get kids in that frame of mind. I think they should be taught from the time they get their first paying jobs that they need to prioritize and know that bills are due. I know that it may seem harsh, but if and when I have children as soon as they get a job they will be paying rent. It may only be $50 a month unitl they make more, but it will be something. I would then take that money and put it into an account, maybe even one that earns interest and then when they move out they get that money to use as a security deposit, furniture, rent whatever as long as it is not blown on nonsense. I believe this teaches them to understand that they cannot blow through their money and then it helps them when they first get out on their own too.

 

[purselover]

Date: 3/15/2010 2:41:33 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 3/15/2010 1:40:46 PM
Author: purselover


ETA2: In your situation I would do the above as well, let her live back at home rent free for a few months while she looks for an apartment.

why waste the $700 rent money? it doesn''t make sense for her to move 2 blocks down and pay $700 per month for an apartment.

I don''t think it''s a waste if it teaches the value of money when it comes to saving and paying bills. From what I''ve seen letting a child move back in can be a slippery slope. My sister moved back when she was 23 and didn''t leave until 30, (and only because she got married and started relying on her husband) meanwhile she had no savings and relied on my parents for everything even her cc bills! If they had shown just a little bit of tough love she could''ve matured a lot faster. Needless to say they learned and when I was 22 I was given money to pay the first 4 months of my rent and then I was on my own.

 

[elrohwen]

Date: 3/15/2010 2:36:00 PM
Author: IloveAsschers13

Date: 3/15/2010 1:39:20 PM
Author: elrohwen
I think it depends. If my kid was living at home while going to college, then no, I wouldn''t charge rent. If my kid had a good job and could easily afford to rent an apartment, I would charge rent - maybe $400-500. It also depends on the kid - if the kid is generally looking for handouts, I would make it more difficult to live at home. If my kid was generally very responsible but going through job loss or a hard time, then I probably wouldn''t charge rent.


eta: I like the idea of collecting rent but giving it back when the kid moved out, perhaps to be put towards a downpayment.

Gah! That''s more than I pay for my rent at school, including groceries!

Haha, that amount has always been about 1/3 of anything I''ve paid in rent (except in college, when each person in our 4 person apartment paid $600). To me that seems like a ridiculously cheap amount! But I guess depending on location it isn''t necessarily that cheap.

 

[upgrade]

The deal in our house was that we lived with Mom rent free as long as we were in school. Once we were out of school, time to join the real world kids! We paid rent. It wasn''t a huge amount- it was enough to feel that we were contributing and teach us about cost of living without breaking the bank. My dh had the same rules at his parents'' house.

I will say, though, that in both families, by the time it came to the youngest children, the rent thing went out the window. I don''t know why, but my 3 youngest siblings and dh''s youngest bro all lived at home rent free. They are now, as adults on their own, the least financially responsible in the family... Those of us who had the rent rule bought our own homes much sooner and without parental assistance. We are also the ones who don''t carry credit card debt, have solid credit and don''t owe anything outside of our mortgages. The younger sibs are all financial disasters of varying degrees. Coincidence? I think not!

I will allow my kids to live at home rent free for as long as they are going to school. Once they''re out of school and working, they''re welcome to stay but they''ll be expected to contribute financially.

 

[elrohwen]

Date: 3/15/2010 2:45:18 PM
Author: radiantquest
I think that they should. Regardless of their situation. It doesnt have to be $500 a month it can be very small, but I think it is important to get kids in that frame of mind. I think they should be taught from the time they get their first paying jobs that they need to prioritize and know that bills are due. I know that it may seem harsh, but if and when I have children as soon as they get a job they will be paying rent. It may only be $50 a month unitl they make more, but it will be something. I would then take that money and put it into an account, maybe even one that earns interest and then when they move out they get that money to use as a security deposit, furniture, rent whatever as long as it is not blown on nonsense. I believe this teaches them to understand that they cannot blow through their money and then it helps them when they first get out on their own too.

Similar to this: when I worked over summers in high school and college, my mom made me save a certain amount by the end of the summer. That money would become my spending money during the college school year. She paid for my food, and mostly for my clothes, but otherwise I was on my own with that money if I wanted to buy a movie, or a book, or whatever. So I didn''t pay rent, but I had financial responsibility to save money and spread my spending out throughout the whole school year.

 

[HollyS]

Adult children, with jobs, who want to make independent decisions about their life, should be financially independent of their parents. Regardless of where they reside.

Yes. If she lives at home, if she is employed, she should pay rent.

And buy some groceries. And do her own laundry. And pay her own bills.


Did you hear me DF? She pays her own bills.

 

[zoebartlett]

I moved back home every summer while I was in college. I didn''t have to pay rent then, but then when I graduated, I lived at home for a while while I figured out my next step. During that time, I did pay rent and I chipped in for utilities. I think it''s perfectly fair to do so if you''re living at home as an adult.

 

[4ever]

If the kid is a student, then no, I wouldn''t charge them rent.
If they have a full time job then yes they should be contributing to the household or move out.

A friend of mine has paid rent to stay at her mums house since she turned 18 and her mum no longer got child support from her dad.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I think it depends on the adult child and the situation. If my daughter turned into a responsible adult (fingers crossed) and was covered her bills, had a job, was respectful to my rules and boundaries and I was in a financially stable place (where the rent really wouldn''t save or sink me) I would 100% without a doubt, guilt or resentment let her live with me for free. I would encourage her to pay herself rent so she could work on a down payment on a house of her own.

If I felt taken advantage of or if she disrespected my home, wallet or feelings I would have no problem charging her rent. I don''t believe in profiting on family but I do believe in setting an example and tough love.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 3/15/2010 4:41:40 PM
Author: HollyS
Adult children, with jobs, who want to make independent decisions about their life, should be financially independent of their parents. Regardless of where they reside.

Yes. If she lives at home, if she is employed, she should pay rent.

And buy some groceries. And do her own laundry. And pay her own bills.


Did you hear me DF? She pays her own bills.

she been doing that since she started her full time job.

 

[Amber St. Clare]

We put our son thru school--including grad school. I was having medical issues at the time and he decided to stay home to help with driving me to my job and back home. I really appreciated that because I would have had to leave my job if he hadn''t. He''s since graduated but has been unable to get a job in his field so far. He works at a chain restaurant and is able to take care of his expenses: car, insurance, health insurance, etc. so far. We haven''t asked for rent/room and board because he''s going to need a new car. When he establishes himself in his chosen field, if he''s still at home, we WILL ask for rent.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 3/15/2010 6:37:13 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring
I think it depends on the adult child and the situation. If my daughter turned into a responsible adult (fingers crossed) and was covered her bills, had a job, was respectful to my rules and boundaries and I was in a financially stable place (where the rent really wouldn''t save or sink me) I would 100% without a doubt, guilt or resentment let her live with me for free. I would encourage her to pay herself rent so she could work on a down payment on a house of her own.

If I felt taken advantage of or if she disrespected my home, wallet or feelings I would have no problem charging her rent. I don''t believe in profiting on family but I do believe in setting an example and tough love.

that''s reason we encourage her to save as much as she can while she lived at home.

 

[yssie]

Date: 3/15/2010 12:01:05 PM
Author: Haven
I think this is a cultural thing. My parents would have preferred it if I stayed at home until I married.

Families that are more 'old country' seem to have really different opinions on things like this. (And the 'old country' can vary quite a lot!) All of my friends who are also the children of immigrants for first generation Americans had the same pressure I had to stay at home as long as possible. Our parents wouldn't dream of asking for rent, but we are definitely expected to chip in whatever we can if the family ever has financial difficulties.

I know parents who collected a small amount of rent and then gave the lump sum of what they collected to their child when he moved out as a surprise. I think that is a nice thing to do. If your child pays you $300 a month and lives at home for three years, that's a pretty nice amount of cash he was forced to save! That way, the child is still paying rent, since he doesn't know it will be coming back to him whenever he moves out, and I think that's a pretty good lesson on how quickly little things can add up.

Mine too, Haven. And I would live with them rent free, all-expenses paid, while I worked or continued with my graduate degree. They would still prefer I move back home now, in fact.

What goes around comes around, though.. in our culture when the parents become too old to work, or disabled in any way, the children (I'm an only) take care of them. When my parents stop wanting to/being able to live by themselves in their own house, they will live with FI and I - rent free and all-expenses paid.

 

[Luckyeshe]

Date: 3/15/2010 1:39:20 PM
Author: elrohwen
I think it depends. If my kid was living at home while going to college, then no, I wouldn''t charge rent. If my kid had a good job and could easily afford to rent an apartment, I would charge rent - maybe $400-500. It also depends on the kid - if the kid is generally looking for handouts, I would make it more difficult to live at home. If my kid was generally very responsible but going through job loss or a hard time, then I probably wouldn''t charge rent.

eta: I like the idea of collecting rent but giving it back when the kid moved out, perhaps to be put towards a downpayment.

+1

 

[PumpkinPie]

Date: 3/15/2010 11:37:01 AM
Author: kenny
I''d say it depends.

I''ve heard some parents say as long as they are going to college they can stay rent free.

That sounds reasonable to me.


I do think it is possible for some kids to stay too long and some parents to be too wimpy to tell them to leave.


I think if they can pay rent they should be paying for their own place.

I agree with Kenny - I don''t have kids yet, but this would likely be the rule in my future

 

[reader]

This is very interesting to me as my daughter turns 17 this year, and I hope to move out. It would be nice to rent my home to her for the cost of the mortgage while she is in college. ($470 a month isn''t so bad for a house)


My best friend was never charged rent. His parents finally kicked him out at age 31 and he was terribly surprised, and still is, by how expensive the world is. Its not a good service to your children to not give them a few lessons before leaving home, I have learned by observation.

 

[Smo]

I think if they can afford it, kids living at home should pay something at the very least so they get some concept of how to budget etc.

I paid $50 per week out of my salary to my parents in rent. Doesn''t sound like much but I was only earning $200 per week in full time employment (I can hardly believe that now!). I also had to pay $40 per week for my train ticket to get to work!

My brother never paid anything, and now that he had finally moved out of home he has no idea of how to budget and constantly borrows money off my parents whilst spending his own money on going out, clothes, shoes etc.

It used to really bother me how spoilt he was, now I have realised how much better off I am having been forced to realise how expensive the real world at 17 when I got my first full time job.

 

[mayerling]

yssie, same here. I think it's a cultural thing...

 

[atroop711]

It all depends...if the child is in school then no rent BUT if they are out of school and working THEY SHOULD OFFER to give something. Help out with the groceries, with the rent, ect. No mooching in my home

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 3/16/2010 9:33:16 AM
Author: DVS1
yssie, same here. I think it''s a cultural thing...

i think so too,cuz i wouldn''t feel right to take my daughter''s money.

 

[kama_s]

Date: 3/16/2010 6:48:05 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 3/16/2010 9:33:16 AM
Author: DVS1
yssie, same here. I think it''s a cultural thing...

i think so too,cuz i wouldn''t feel right to take my daughter''s money.

But you''re not really taking it. You save it in an account for her and give it to her when she''s ready to move out and be on her own. Or pay that towards her wedding/down payment.

 

[Imdanny]

Date: 3/15/2010 2:40:36 PM
Author: MonkeyPie
I never paid rent, but I paid for two bills that I affected by being at home - electricity and cable.

Me too, I never paid rent but I paid for the electricity split five ways (and I bought my own food). I'm going to vote with everyone who said "it depends". Families/ situations/ individuals can be very different. I wouldn't be comfortable saying there should be a "rule" about it that everyone should follow.

 

[Dandi]

I think it''s very fair. When I was still at home, working and studying full time, we decided I would either pay rent, or purchase my own place. I decided on the latter, but moved back home later and rented it out

Even if I had paid them rent, they would have saved it and given it back to me as a house deposit later, anyway.

 

[lilyfoot]

Date: 3/17/2010 5:48:00 AM
Author: Imdanny

Date: 3/15/2010 2:40:36 PM
Author: MonkeyPie
I never paid rent, but I paid for two bills that I affected by being at home - electricity and cable.

Me too, I never paid rent but I paid for the electricity split five ways (and I bought my own food). I''m going to vote with everyone who said ''it depends''. Families/ situations/ individuals can be very different. I wouldn''t be comfortable saying there should be a ''rule'' about it that everyone should follow.

I agree. I''m not opposed to the idea of paying rent/splitting bills/buying groceries, etc., but every situation is different.

 

[bee*]

If the child is in college then I wouldn''t charge rent, but if they are working then I definitely would. I think that it teaches responsibility to charge something.

 

[snlee]

If my child is in school, then no. If they are a college graduate, yes. I think it teaches them responsibility.

 

[vespergirl]

Date: 3/15/2010 11:38:50 AM
Author: Karl_K
depends on the situation.
In school? then no.
Adult kids who are just living at home because they can then yes.
What a friend of mine did was charge her rent but put all the money into a bank account then gave it to her as a down payment on her house.

I totally agree with Karl. I love the idea of saving the "rent" money for a house down payment down the line.