IYO, Is it appropriate to kiss your SO in public?

[Dancing Fire]

I know it is common for most Americans to kiss in public, but you will have a better chance of being run over by a car then to see an Asian couple of my age group (over 50) to kiss in public. I have never seen any of my friends kiss their wife in public.

 

[Dee*Jay]

The CB and I are "public peckers" (most often with him planting a peck on the top of my head), but nothing really beyond that. And definitely no tongue. Especially no tongue on the top of my head. That would be gross for both of us.

 

[junebug17]

I don't see anything wrong with it - we wouldn't do a long, drawn-out smooch but in certain circumstances a quick kiss is ok - but tbh, kissing in public is just not really something we do.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

I think there are tasteful ways to kiss in public. We don't often kiss in public, but if we do it's typically a quick smooch/peck.

 

[momhappy]

For me, pecks are fine, hand-holding is good, and short hugs are okay too. Anything beyond that is kind of personal and not something that I care to share with the rest of the world. DH and I were at a college basketball game once and this couple (probably in their late 30's/early 40's) seated a few chairs away, kept making out at odd times during the game. It was gross. Sure, it's just a loving gesture, but not everyone needs to see it. DH and I like to express our affection, but there are limits in public.

 

[chrono]

We are extremely modest and do not even hold hands in public, much less kiss. Our expression of affection, when in public, is done very subtly through small gestures that most people do not pick up on.

 

[baby monster]

Holding hands and quick smooch are acceptable PDAs.

 

[tyty333]

Its usually a peck on greeting or leaving each other.

 

[vintagelover229]

We're mostly hand holders and quick pecks but I will say I do think that while I don't want to see 'making out' per say-I do think there is a time/place for more emotional hugs/deeper kisses. For example-people leaving/returning from trips or soldiers and their wives/SO. If they are giving a very deep kiss right when they depart or return home I kind of expect that-considering who knows how long they will be gone or have been away from their loved ones for.
Same goes for long distance relationships or those who travel for longer periods of time for any reason. I tend to look away but I love to know that people love one another that deeply and show it in that way.

Teenagers making out at the movies? Not so much. I actually never have made out at the movies and never understood why you'd pay that much money to just sit around and kiss. There are better places for that than a theater!

 

[monarch64]

Whenever I see people making out in public, the 12 year old in me comes out and I want to giggle and yell "get a room!"

Is it appropriate, yes, I think so. I don't usually let my husband give me a full-on kiss when we're out, though. It would ruin my lipstick and if we got too carried away it might ruin my entire makeup job.

 

[kenny]

The CB and I are "public peckers"

Our peckers are certainly not out in public, thank you very much.

Seriously even though we live in a relatively gay-friendly area we don't hold hands or kiss.
This is certainly leftovers from the oppressive bigotry-disguised-as-morality 1950s Midwest values instilled into little Kenny in Sunday School … but even after years of therapy and thinking I just can't shake it.

Also I don't care to get gay-bashed by all the dinosaurs still roaming the earth.

 

[dk168]

I am not a fan of overt public display of affection, in that I mean hands allover each other, very long kisses, etc. etc...

However, I do not object to holding hands, a quick embrace, and a quick kiss.

DK

 

[missy]

We hold hands when we are out and occasionally give each other sweet little kisses. No making out and no tongue in public but I don't see anything wrong with showing my affection for my dh and vice versa. And by the same token I don't see anything wrong with gay men and women holding hands and kissing in public either. Again as long as it isn't too graphic showing affection and love is a positive role model no matter the couple IMO.

 

[TooPatient]

We hold hands when we are out and occasionally give each other sweet little kisses. No making out and no tongue in public but I don't see anything wrong with showing my affection for my dh and vice versa. And by the same token I don't see anything wrong with gay men and women holding hands and kissing in public either. Again as long as it isn't too graphic showing affection and love is a positive role model no matter the couple IMO.

This.

Anything more feels too personal and should be reserved for private moments. I like holding hands and little kisses though. They really feel like a great connection.

 

[Kaleigh]

We hold hands mostly. He does love to kiss me on my head, and kisses on the lips are not graphic.. Just a nice quick kiss... I think showing affection can be classy without being trashy....

 

[kenny]

I know it is common for most Americans to kiss in public, but you will have a better chance of being run over by a car then to see an Asian couple of my age group (over 50) to kiss in public. I have never seen any of my friends kiss their wife in public.

No problem.
Cultures vary.
By all means continue to practice whatever you personally feel is appropriate for you.

If I moved to a new country I'd try to not apply my old-country's judgments of what's appropriate to my new country.
When in Rome …

 

[Laila619]

I think it's fine and don't see anything wrong with it.

There's a myth perpetuated by the media in TV shows and commercials that married couples are unhappy with each other and miserable. Why not show that it isn't always the case? I love seeing an 80 year old couple still holding hands and giving each other a kiss. Warms my heart.

 

[marymm]

Holding hands and quick smooch are acceptable PDAs.

+1 (and quick hugs too)

 

[madelise]

Re: Asians in 50s showing no affection-- I NEVER saw affection growing up. Ever. No one hugged or kissed me. No one TOUCHED me. Or each other. I had huge issues with just hugging my friends, and to this day, I still don't feel comfortable hugging my friends unless there's a reason (e.g., birthday, congratulatory ones, haven't seen them in a while). I sometimes hug people when it's inappropriate. My internal affection monitor is whack due to my upbringing. I never realized how much this affected me until someone pointed out how "cold" I can be. And you know what? I crave affection. I don't like this disconnect.

I told my ex-fiancé that I didn't like PDA when I first met him. He agreed. We were both from Asian cultures, where our families don't show affection or touch each other. Four years later and minimal hand holding, minimal kissing, minimal touching in public (which also meant it was not as affectionate as I would have liked in private, in retrospect).. I'm broken. I NEED affection. I crave it so much.

Please show affection out and about. I think people need to see it's okay to have feelings, affection, and touch. I think it's important for kids to see this. Kissing shouldn't be taboo.

Tongues down each other throats is another situation....

 

[jaysonsmom]

Holding hands and quick smooch are acceptable PDAs.

+1 (and quick hugs too)

+2

 

[SB621]

Looks like I'm a stand out, but I totally PDA with my man in public like we are teenagers in heat . I very much understand Mad's comments earlier. I grew up in a household where no one showed affection at all...in fact ever. My parents have been married for almost 40 years and I have NEVER seen them kiss. I have always craved affection. I could care less who is watching- to me if you don't like it then look the other way. It comes off as corny, but I kinda of feel my life is like a fairy tale (in terms of relationships that I have now) and I just don't want to edit it because others might not approve. So yes we make out in front of our children, our friends and random strangers

 

[Laila619]

Re: Asians in 50s showing no affection-- I NEVER saw affection growing up. Ever. No one hugged or kissed me. No one TOUCHED me. Or each other. I had huge issues with just hugging my friends, and to this day, I still don't feel comfortable hugging my friends unless there's a reason (e.g., birthday, congratulatory ones, haven't seen them in a while). I sometimes hug people when it's inappropriate. My internal affection monitor is whack due to my upbringing. I never realized how much this affected me until someone pointed out how "cold" I can be. And you know what? I crave affection. I don't like this disconnect.

I told my ex-fiancé that I didn't like PDA when I first met him. He agreed. We were both from Asian cultures, where our families don't show affection or touch each other. Four years later and minimal hand holding, minimal kissing, minimal touching in public (which also meant it was not as affectionate as I would have liked in private, in retrospect).. I'm broken. I NEED affection. I crave it so much.

Please show affection out and about. I think people need to see it's okay to have feelings, affection, and touch. I think it's important for kids to see this. Kissing shouldn't be taboo.

Tongues down each other throats is another situation....

That's so sad madelise.

That's one of the reasons why I hug and kiss my kids any chance I get. And my spouse too. Physical touch is so important. Babies *need* it to thrive and grow.

 

[LLJsmom]

My DH and I are in our early (kinda) 40s and an Asian couple. I grew up with tons of affection from my parents, my DH, zero. PDA is fine to me. Just try not to give each other a communicable disease. That's our rule for public behavior. Our kids see us kiss, sometimes a little graphically, but it makes them feel good because they tell us to make up after a fight. In the early parts of our relationship I told my DH I needed it as h wasn't as comfortable with it. Now he's even more PDA than me...

 

[packrat]

We are hand holders, and if there is kissing, it is a quick lip touch.

 

[missy]

Re: Asians in 50s showing no affection-- I NEVER saw affection growing up. Ever. No one hugged or kissed me. No one TOUCHED me. Or each other. I had huge issues with just hugging my friends, and to this day, I still don't feel comfortable hugging my friends unless there's a reason (e.g., birthday, congratulatory ones, haven't seen them in a while). I sometimes hug people when it's inappropriate. My internal affection monitor is whack due to my upbringing. I never realized how much this affected me until someone pointed out how "cold" I can be. And you know what? I crave affection. I don't like this disconnect.

I told my ex-fiancé that I didn't like PDA when I first met him. He agreed. We were both from Asian cultures, where our families don't show affection or touch each other. Four years later and minimal hand holding, minimal kissing, minimal touching in public (which also meant it was not as affectionate as I would have liked in private, in retrospect).. I'm broken. I NEED affection. I crave it so much.

Please show affection out and about. I think people need to see it's okay to have feelings, affection, and touch. I think it's important for kids to see this. Kissing shouldn't be taboo.

Tongues down each other throats is another situation....

(((Hugs))) Madelise. I am sorry you missed out on that growing up but the fact that you know you need and crave affection means you are NOT broken. You are just going to have to make up for lost time so here's a huge (((HUG))) from me to get you started. And if we ever meet IRL I'll give you dozens more!

 

[jaysonsmom]

Re: Asians in 50s showing no affection-- I NEVER saw affection growing up. Ever. No one hugged or kissed me. No one TOUCHED me. Or each other. I had huge issues with just hugging my friends, and to this day, I still don't feel comfortable hugging my friends unless there's a reason (e.g., birthday, congratulatory ones, haven't seen them in a while). I sometimes hug people when it's inappropriate. My internal affection monitor is whack due to my upbringing. I never realized how much this affected me until someone pointed out how "cold" I can be. And you know what? I crave affection. I don't like this disconnect. quote]

Madelise, I grew up pretty much the same way, and have now "broken the cycle" of the Asian-non-affectionness. My kids are hugged and kissed to death! In fact, my husband and I kiss them both goodnight, and bye on the lips, which is even more intimate than their "American" friends. Even my kids noticed that grandpa and grandma never give them hugs and kisses, they just give them $$(red envelopes), to show they are loved.

I have also been called "reserved" by my more affectionate friends, because I don't know when it is appropriate to hug or kiss, and I usually do not make the first move to hug someone. Anyhoo, I just wanted to chime in to let you know that the cycle can be broken through showing affection to your own kids!

 

[LLJsmom]

Re: Asians in 50s showing no affection-- I NEVER saw affection growing up. Ever. No one hugged or kissed me. No one TOUCHED me. Or each other. I had huge issues with just hugging my friends, and to this day, I still don't feel comfortable hugging my friends unless there's a reason (e.g., birthday, congratulatory ones, haven't seen them in a while). I sometimes hug people when it's inappropriate. My internal affection monitor is whack due to my upbringing. I never realized how much this affected me until someone pointed out how "cold" I can be. And you know what? I crave affection. I don't like this disconnect. quote]

Madelise, I grew up pretty much the same way, and have now "broken the cycle" of the Asian-non-affectionness. My kids are hugged and kissed to death! In fact, my husband and I kiss them both goodnight, and bye on the lips, which is even more intimate than their "American" friends. Even my kids noticed that grandpa and grandma never give them hugs and kisses, they just give them $$(red envelopes), to show they are loved.

I have also been called "reserved" by my more affectionate friends, because I don't know when it is appropriate to hug or kiss, and I usually do not make the first move to hug someone. Anyhoo, I just wanted to chime in to let you know that the cycle can be broken through showing affection to your own kids!

For sure. I had my kids go hug and kiss my husbands' parents. And even though the grandparents weren't comfortable with it at first, we MADE them comfortable. Too bad for them. This is what MY kids do. And they eventually got used to it and now reciprocate. My dad on the other hand demands kisses and hugs from the grandkids. It's so funny. I love it.

 

[qtiekiki]

Re: Asians in 50s showing no affection-- I NEVER saw affection growing up. Ever. No one hugged or kissed me. No one TOUCHED me. Or each other. I had huge issues with just hugging my friends, and to this day, I still don't feel comfortable hugging my friends unless there's a reason (e.g., birthday, congratulatory ones, haven't seen them in a while). I sometimes hug people when it's inappropriate. My internal affection monitor is whack due to my upbringing. I never realized how much this affected me until someone pointed out how "cold" I can be. And you know what? I crave affection. I don't like this disconnect. quote]

Madelise, I grew up pretty much the same way, and have now "broken the cycle" of the Asian-non-affectionness. My kids are hugged and kissed to death! In fact, my husband and I kiss them both goodnight, and bye on the lips, which is even more intimate than their "American" friends. Even my kids noticed that grandpa and grandma never give them hugs and kisses, they just give them $$(red envelopes), to show they are loved.

I have also been called "reserved" by my more affectionate friends, because I don't know when it is appropriate to hug or kiss, and I usually do not make the first move to hug someone. Anyhoo, I just wanted to chime in to let you know that the cycle can be broken through showing affection to your own kids!

Same story here, although our parents (both sets) hug and kiss our kids. They had never hugged or kissed us when we were growing up though.

 

[Sparklelu]

I have no problem with showing affection in public to an extent. I think there is a time and place for everything. A quick kiss or a hug or a similar style of affection is always fine. Its the hanging all over slobbering on each other is unattractive to me and not something I enjoy seeing. I have even seen and have no issue with a friendly pat on the behind from one partner to another, and I'm OK with that. Shoving your hand in their crotch, not so much! And I've seen that.
Its the overtly sexual behaviors that break the social contract for that particular public space.. Don't tell me to look away if I don't like it. You are the one who should respect the code of conduct expected .
Example: a few months ago I was in the ER for gallbladder pain. There was a young couple ( mid 20's)who came in at the same time not only did they hold hands the entire time (OK with me) but every few minutes he either leaned in for a long kiss or she to him. I'm sure tongues were involved. She also rubbed her hand up and down his thigh frequently.
It was uncomfortable to watch. Time and place.
Add to story, she was there because she too had abdominal pain and was nauseated!

 

[chrono]

Just as FYI, the Asian way of showing affection is different from those from the Middle East, US, UK and etc. They are not touchy feely in general but show affection in other ways which would boggle the minds of those who aren't used to it. Parents will give their children the best cuts of meat, stay up late waiting for their children to come home safely, toil at work to provide the best future for their children (sacrifice material things for themselves in order to afford a good education for the children, which often times include the full 4 years of university tuition fees so that the children will not be in debt once out of school and can focus on their studies without monetary worries), etc. It's just a different mind set.

Interestingly enough, although I draw the line at kissing my spouse in public, I have no trouble whatsoever with hugging and kissing my children (on the lips, no less!) in public. My children way past the toddler and young child age too. That's just my personal tolerance. I have no issues whatsoever with other couples holding hands and kissing. If they are doing more than that, I just look away since it is none of my business even though I feel uncomfortable with the knowledge that such intimacy is in close proximity.