by TristanC » Dec 3, 2011 I think you did right. In your shoes, I would just be grateful for the ability to have done what you did. I'm sure many parents would like to be able to make that gift, but were just financially unable. Gifting, or creating dependence are two different things. If you loaned/gave money, you are an enabler. In this case, even without the down payment, if the child was on the right path, the occasion would still have happened. However, if you saw an opportunity, and the timing was right, then by all means, enable your child. It is better and wiser to have obtained a good deal, than to wait 4 years, and overpay and write it off as a 'lesson' in independence. I'm all for enabling, I'm not at all for causing reliance. So yes, lend or give your child a manageable sum to get her on her way with a house purchase. No, don't lend her rent money so she can live in a high class apartment with rents that are well above her pay band.... and so on. So that's my personal stand. In this case, in your story, it sounds like you were an enabler. So for me, it is a big thumbs up.