There's a lot about this topic on the interwebs, and man, it's a hot potato with very little overlap of opinions.
In the No corner, they say:
No! That is never OK. Your SO is your family. You should love the inside as much as the outside, if not more. How can people be so shallow? Partners should show each other unconditional love. To quote the Bard, "Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds, or bends with the remover to remove/It is an ever fix-ed mark." (Might be misquoting somewhat - I didn't look it up.) Anyone who leaves their partner for weight gain is shallow and never loved them in the first place.
In the Yes corner, they say:
Sex is what differentiates your romantic relationships from all others. People can't help what they find attractive, and if the attraction has gone due to weight gain, the partner who's lost that loving feeling can't help that. If people are going to ask someone to give up all sexual opportunities with all others, it's their duty to stay attractive for their partner and also to look after their health. As one partner online said, "I give my partner the gift of my health and attractiveness. Why can't they do the same for me?" Men are visual and can't help what they find attractive.
Let's assume that there isn't an underlying health or depression issue. One partner simply likes their food and isn't a fan of exercise. Let's also assume that the partner has put on a lot of excess weight.
If your partner put on a significant amount of weight and couldn't lose it because it's just really hard, or because they just weren't motivated enough, what would you do?
I don't think I would leave the person. The quality of the relationship matters much more to me than physical attractiveness, to which I'm not very susceptible. But if they were really overweight, I'd be concerned for their health and would be terrified that they'd die early.
Full disclosure: I'm very overweight and have a BMI of 40-plus. So perhaps I'm biased, but I really don't think weight has a lot to do with the person inside.
But there's a lot of people out there who think the opposite, and in some ways, I can see some of their points. Perhaps it's not reasonable to expect most people to be as attracted to someone with a BMI of over 40 as they would be to someone with a BMI of 20. I can tell you, as a woman of my size, I never get any action. I went on a dating site and as soon as people saw my pictures, they blocked me! I didn't care. I thought they were silly. I can lose the weight - and I am, since getting diagnosed with diabetes. Such a pity that appearances matter so much.
What do you think?
In the No corner, they say:
No! That is never OK. Your SO is your family. You should love the inside as much as the outside, if not more. How can people be so shallow? Partners should show each other unconditional love. To quote the Bard, "Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds, or bends with the remover to remove/It is an ever fix-ed mark." (Might be misquoting somewhat - I didn't look it up.) Anyone who leaves their partner for weight gain is shallow and never loved them in the first place.
In the Yes corner, they say:
Sex is what differentiates your romantic relationships from all others. People can't help what they find attractive, and if the attraction has gone due to weight gain, the partner who's lost that loving feeling can't help that. If people are going to ask someone to give up all sexual opportunities with all others, it's their duty to stay attractive for their partner and also to look after their health. As one partner online said, "I give my partner the gift of my health and attractiveness. Why can't they do the same for me?" Men are visual and can't help what they find attractive.
Let's assume that there isn't an underlying health or depression issue. One partner simply likes their food and isn't a fan of exercise. Let's also assume that the partner has put on a lot of excess weight.
If your partner put on a significant amount of weight and couldn't lose it because it's just really hard, or because they just weren't motivated enough, what would you do?
I don't think I would leave the person. The quality of the relationship matters much more to me than physical attractiveness, to which I'm not very susceptible. But if they were really overweight, I'd be concerned for their health and would be terrified that they'd die early.
Full disclosure: I'm very overweight and have a BMI of 40-plus. So perhaps I'm biased, but I really don't think weight has a lot to do with the person inside.
But there's a lot of people out there who think the opposite, and in some ways, I can see some of their points. Perhaps it's not reasonable to expect most people to be as attracted to someone with a BMI of over 40 as they would be to someone with a BMI of 20. I can tell you, as a woman of my size, I never get any action. I went on a dating site and as soon as people saw my pictures, they blocked me! I didn't care. I thought they were silly. I can lose the weight - and I am, since getting diagnosed with diabetes. Such a pity that appearances matter so much.
What do you think?