Is this weird?

[Gussie]

A few years ago a close friend and I had a quiet falling out. No drama, I just left the relationship because I felt she was not trustworthy and she was very negative. When I spent time with her I always felt dragged down. She was kind of a "mean girl" and really spoke ugly of our other friends.

Several things happened during the relationship.
1. She bought the same kind of car as I drive.
2. She started dressing very similar to me.
3. She bought the same handbag and sunglasses that I had.
4. She remodeled her master bath, almost exactly copying mine shortly after I did.
5. She bought the same dishes I use daily.
6. She got a new ring after she saw my first upgrade.

I thought this was a bit weird but just let it go. Now, I found out that she has a contract on a home a few doors down. We have large lots so it's not as if I will constantly see her but I do find this a bit weird.

What do yall think?

 

[MamaBee]

A few years ago a close friend and I had a quiet falling out. No drama, I just left the relationship because I felt she was not trustworthy and she was very negative. When I spent time with her I always felt dragged down. She was kind of a "mean girl" and really spoke ugly of our other friends.

Several things happened during the relationship.
1. She bought the same kind of car as I drive.
2. She started dressing very similar to me.
3. She bought the same handbag and sunglasses that I had.
4. She remodeled her master bath, almost exactly copying mine shortly after I did.
5. She bought the same dishes I use daily.
6. She got a new ring after she saw my first upgrade.

I thought this was a bit weird but just let it go. Now, I found out that she has a contract on a home a few doors down. We have large lots so it's not as if I will constantly see her but I do find this a bit weird.

What do yall think?

That is definite weird @Gussie...It’s a compliment if someone copies one or two things..but to go to the extreme that your former friend did is so strange..The fact that she bought a house so close to yours would have me concerned....If it were me...I would be polite..but be extremely busy...too busy to get together....If you have mutual friends and you have to be in her company during get togethers...that would be more of a challenge....but I would also do the same thing...I would be polite...chat a bit and move on..It sounds so strange to me...Is she married? It sounds like she wants your life...

 

[Gussie]

That is definite weird @Gussie...It’s a compliment if someone copies one or two things..but to go to the extreme that your former friend did is so strange..The fact that she bought a house so close to yours would have me concerned....If it were me...I would be polite..but be extremely busy...too busy to get together....If you have mutual friends and you have to be in her company during get togethers...that would be more of a challenge....but I would also do the same thing...I would be polite...chat a bit and move on..It sounds so strange to me...Is she married? It sounds like she wants your life...

Yes she is married, although I suspect not happily (rumors of infidelity). Her kids are also my kids age so that's another thing. I will be polite but I have no desire to be friends again. Lol, I have never had a problem with avoidance. This will be their 3rd move in about 5 years so maybe they won't be here long.

 

[missy]

OTT and creepy. I’m sorry you have this issue. Glad you have space from her despite her buying a house on your block. My advice is keep your distance and don’t let her suck you in again. Hard earned wisdom but once learned never to make that mistake again.

 

[msop04]

A few years ago a close friend and I had a quiet falling out. No drama, I just left the relationship because I felt she was not trustworthy and she was very negative. When I spent time with her I always felt dragged down. She was kind of a "mean girl" and really spoke ugly of our other friends.

Several things happened during the relationship.
1. She bought the same kind of car as I drive.
2. She started dressing very similar to me.
3. She bought the same handbag and sunglasses that I had.
4. She remodeled her master bath, almost exactly copying mine shortly after I did.
5. She bought the same dishes I use daily.
6. She got a new ring after she saw my first upgrade.

I thought this was a bit weird but just let it go. Now, I found out that she has a contract on a home a few doors down. We have large lots so it's not as if I will constantly see her but I do find this a bit weird.

What do yall think?

GAWD... sounds like my SIL, and this would/does really irritate me.

Warning: rant ahead

SIL had mentioned buying a new car back in March and told me what she wanted (Nissan Armada). We started talking about cars and I told her which one I'd always wanted and planned to buy sometime the next summer (Infiniti QX80). She and her husband said they had looked at them, but preferred the Nissan. Fast forward to August... I'll be damned if she didn't go out and buy the EXACT FREAKING SAME CAR I'd told her I had always wanted, down to the color and trim. The kicker... she bought it new, which I could never afford, so "hers is better." They make a half million a year, so why copy me?? Get your own style and opinions, b*tch! <--- She's obviously my "bitch eating crackers," and I'm not over it... so, yes, I'll keep being petty, thanks.



Good thing she's not really into diamonds, or she'd most definitely get one bigger and better than mine... that could change though.

WTH is wrong with people??!!

Rant over.

 

[msop04]

A few years ago a close friend and I had a quiet falling out. No drama, I just left the relationship because I felt she was not trustworthy and she was very negative. When I spent time with her I always felt dragged down. She was kind of a "mean girl" and really spoke ugly of our other friends.

Several things happened during the relationship.
1. She bought the same kind of car as I drive.
2. She started dressing very similar to me.
3. She bought the same handbag and sunglasses that I had.
4. She remodeled her master bath, almost exactly copying mine shortly after I did.
5. She bought the same dishes I use daily.
6. She got a new ring after she saw my first upgrade.

I thought this was a bit weird but just let it go. Now, I found out that she has a contract on a home a few doors down. We have large lots so it's not as if I will constantly see her but I do find this a bit weird.

What do yall think?

@Gussie... sound like your friend can't form her own opinions, so she just copies everything you do. Sooo annoying. I don't blame you for cutting her out.

 

[Bonfire]

Well, since we can’t control what other people do (and your ex-friend sounds very insecure and competitive btw) just go about your life. Moving in a few doors down certainly has the potential to complicate things though. Don’t let it rattle you. You’re a classy lady Gussie, I have no doubt you’ll take this in stride.

 

[Gussie]

GAWD... sounds like my SIL, and this would/does really irritate me.

Warning: rant ahead

SIL had mentioned buying a new car back in March and told me what she wanted (Nissan Armada). We started talking about cars and I told her which one I'd always wanted and planned to buy sometime the next summer (Infiniti QX80). She and her husband said they had looked at them, but preferred the Nissan. Fast forward to August... I'll be damned if she didn't go out and buy the EXACT FREAKING SAME CAR I'd told her I had always wanted, down to the color and trim. The kicker... she bought it new, which I could never afford, so "hers is better." They make a half million a year, so why copy me?? Get your own style and opinions, b*tch! <--- She's obviously my "bitch eating crackers," and I'm not over it... so, yes, I'll keep being petty, thanks.



Good thing she's not really into diamonds, or she'd most definitely get one bigger and better than mine... that could change though.

WTH is wrong with people??!!

Rant over.

LMAO!

 

[Gussie]

Well, since we can’t control what other people do (and your ex-friend sounds very insecure and competitive btw) just go about your life. Moving in a few doors down certainly has the potential to complicate things though. Don’t let it rattle you. You’re a classy lady Gussie, I have no doubt you’ll take this in stride.

Thanks @Bonfire! I'm sure it will be ok. I am a pro at avoiding unnecessary conflict. I do mind my own business and hate drama. The Serenity Prayer comes to mind, lol.

 

[dk168]

Sounds creepy to me!

DK

 

[Bonfire]

Thanks @Bonfire! I'm sure it will be ok. I am a pro at avoiding unnecessary conflict. I do mind my own business and hate drama. The Serenity Prayer comes to mind, lol.

I will just add that if I was in your situation, yeah, this is very weird! And I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t be bothered or creeped out.

 

[OoohShiny]

Perhaps you could start to dress like her, to the point it spirals down into you both always wearing the same clothes because she is copying you and you are copying her? LOL

I am sure others have mentioned this sort of behaviour in others - it's a bit sad if people have to be like someone else instead of be their own person.

 

[MaisOuiMadame]

 

[MaisOuiMadame]

Creepy!!!

 

[Gussie]

I am pretty easy going but if she contacts DH, it's no holds barred!

 

[Bonfire]

Yikes! Does your impersonator...I mean ex-friend have a twin that died in childhood?

 

[bludiva]

i would find that super creepy. my sister had something kind of similar happen where her friend moved to the same town, they became roomies, she started attending the same college, and started dating her boyfriend's brother. there was nothing sinister about it but that's how it played out. oh and they have very similar first names so now they are both ms. firstname lastname

i hope your case is similarly amusing weird and not swf weird....!

 

[ame]

I had a college friend who behaved VERY similarly. It ended because she slept with my boyfriend and it basically came down to she wanted him, and tried to become as similar to me as possible so that he would like her instead.

 

[Gussie]

@ame Yikes!!!!

I really think it's less sinister and just annoying. I think she probably likes the larger lots in my neighborhood. She did contact me today though. Ugh. Polite I was but not taking the bait. Wish me luck yall!

 

[RayRay]

Ugh...weird...be careful!

 

[MissGotRocks]

It's creepy! Folks like this should be pitied in a way I guess because they don't seem to have enough confidence to develop their own style as they are too busy trying to copy someone else they either admire or are envious of. It amazes me that they don't know or care how transparent they really are either.
You are right though to keep your distance. Failed friendships usually cannot be resurrected and what you found in her back then would still be true today. It is just unfortunate that she has invaded your inner circle of life as it leaves you in a bit of an uncomfortable situation. I am sure she will eventually figure out that the two of you will not ever be good friends again and hopefully she will leave you be. I just sort of worry about someone like that feeling spurned and becoming ugly. However, that is probably all far reaching and hopefully she will just continue copying you from a distance making it more of an annoyance than a problem.

 

[missy]

@ame Yikes!!!!

I really think it's less sinister and just annoying. I think she probably likes the larger lots in my neighborhood. She did contact me today though. Ugh. Polite I was but not taking the bait. Wish me luck yall!

Ugh, good luck @Gussie, I am sorry she contacted you and smart of you to remain calm, cool and detached and not take the bait.

 

[Bonfire]

It's creepy! Folks like this should be pitied in a way I guess because they don't seem to have enough confidence to develop their own style as they are too busy trying to copy someone else they either admire or are envious of. It amazes me that they don't know or care how transparent they really are either.
You are right though to keep your distance. Failed friendships usually cannot be resurrected and what you found in her back then would still be true today. It is just unfortunate that she has invaded your inner circle of life as it leaves you in a bit of an uncomfortable situation. I am sure she will eventually figure out that the two of you will not ever be good friends again and hopefully she will leave you be. I just sort of worry about someone like that feeling spurned and becoming ugly. However, that is probably all far reaching and hopefully she will just continue copying you from a distance making it more of an annoyance than a problem.

This is insightful and I agree with you MGR. I also think (maybe not in this situation) people can change. This woman admires Gussie that’s very obvious. Now that she has resurfaced in her life by neighbor proximity, caution for sure. However, I see this as a potential teaching experience. Kindness, setting an example of behavior, all on your own terms of course. Sometimes we react so strongly to the surface that we don’t see deeper. Obviously we don‘t know this person and there may not be better qualities to be uncovered. Some people just need to be avoided for our own sanity.

 

[Gussie]

This is insightful and I agree with you MGR. I also think (maybe not in this situation) people can change. This woman admires Gussie that’s very obvious. Now that she has resurfaced in her life by neighbor proximity, caution for sure. However, I see this as a potential teaching experience. Kindness, setting an example of behavior, all on your own terms of course. Sometimes we react so strongly to the surface that we don’t see deeper. Obviously we don‘t know this person and there may not be better qualities to be uncovered. Some people just need to be avoided for our own sanity.

I agree with you @Bonfire and @MissGotRocks. She isn't sinister or even bad. She is quite insecure and I actually do feel badly for her. But my own sanity/peace comes first. Her negativity and "mean girl" tendencies bother me far more than the imitation.

 

[voce]

I do feel bad for her, but this situation is giving me creepy vibes that reminds me of this book I've read.

All She Was Worth - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

 

[MissGotRocks]

I agree with you @Bonfire and @MissGotRocks. She isn't sinister or even bad. She is quite insecure and I actually do feel badly for her. But my own sanity/peace comes first. Her negativity and "mean girl" tendencies bother me far more than the imitation.

Yes, and it is almost like being stalked from a distance which is just plain unsettling for anyone. Hopefully, she will just keep to herself and not be a nuisance to you and your family.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

Good luck @Gussie
Sounds like you have a good healthy mental handle on the situation

 

[House Cat]

It’s Weird.

 

[jaysonsmom]

You know what's weird? The fact that you created a thread with the exact same title as Jimmianne.....Very confusing and very weird!

Actually, I have come to the realization that some people were born without a personality, creativity, or sense of style. They just conform and latch on to someone they admire, so it is a totally a compliment to you that you have this "stalker", after all, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

 

[JPie]

Yeah, it's pretty weird, but at least she doesn't sound dangerous, just annoying.