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Is This Weird....No Flowers for the Bride?

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Fleur

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Feb 23, 2008
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Ok, I''m probably at the point of overthinking and second guessing everything. Would love your thoughts on the topic of flowers.

Here''s the wedding plan: very small wedding (20-25 people) in the courtyard/garden of an old home converted into a restaurant at 11 am. Luncheon to follow inside. Not "formal" at all. More like a garden party feeling is what I''m hoping for. I''m 48 and he''s 50 and we''ve been living together about 7 years. Second wedding for me. A good friend who is very talented is making the table arrangements from flowers purchased from a lady she buys from every week at the Farmer''s Market. Other than table arrangements we don''t plan to have any other flowers there.

Some of the traditions like "giving the bride away" don''t apply to us. I won''t be "walking the aisle" and we have no attendants. I dislike having our backs to the guests during the ceremony and so does our officiant. She is turning us to face each other so we are visible from the side to the guests. We will be holding hands most of the ceremony which is very short (about 7 minutes).

So......no aisle walk, no attendant to pass the bouquet to, not throwing the bouquet.....I just don''t see the need for me to carry flowers. I''d like to get him a boutonniere since it pins onto his jacket and will not be something he has to deal with once it''s pinned on. Flowers for me seem awkward to deal with for the short ceremony and then they''ll just get laid down somewhere and forgotten.

But, is it strange for a bride to not have flowers? Please feel free to tell me I''ve gone off the deep end to even be asking this question. It''s 5 weeks from now and I think I''m just getting stressed about everything.

Thanks!
 

honey22

Ideal_Rock
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Jul 28, 2007
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4,458
I don''t think you have to have flowers if you don''t one, however to be totally honest, if I were a guest, I would think that flowers were missing. They are such a gorgeous element of a wedding. Would you be open to a wrist corsage? A corsage pinned to your dress? Or just one or two blooms to carry?

If you don''t want to you totally don''t have to, but I think flowers do give a lovely touch to a wedding.
 

jstarfireb

Ideal_Rock
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Mar 24, 2007
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6,232
I think it makes a lot of sense not to have a bouquet (if you don''t want one), but a wrist corsage or pin corsage may be a nice touch. I tend to prefer pin-ons because wrist corsages feel a little 1980s prom to me, but do whatever makes you happy!
 

lucyandroger

Brilliant_Rock
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Dec 12, 2008
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1,557
I don''t think it will be strange at all, especially since you''re not walking down the aisle.

I think a fresh bloom in your hair would be lovely but I don''t think I would miss it as a guest...especially since you''re wedding will be in a garden - there will be plenty of other beautiful flowers around.
 

swingirl

Ideal_Rock
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Apr 6, 2006
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5,655
How about a wrist corsage or a lei? Flowers are just pretty decorations and a bouquet keeps one''s hands occupied but in your case I don''t think they will be missed.
 

AmberGretchen

Ideal_Rock
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Jan 6, 2005
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7,770
What about wearing a flower in your hair? I think that can be lovely - you could have one larger or several smaller blooms, just tucked in to however you were going to wear your hair.

I agree with the others that flowers have always seemed like one of the nicest parts of a wedding to me - if you are really concerned, I''m sure you can delegate someone in advance to hand them to, and your friend who is making the table arrangements could probably bring an extra vase so they could adorn the table afterwards.
 

emeraldlover1

Ideal_Rock
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May 20, 2006
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2,913
I don''t think its weird. I''m still toying with the idea of my bridesmaids holding lanterns maybe filled with flowers? The only reason I''m not 100% decided yet is I''m wondering what I will think of these in the pictures. So...I''m probably not the best person to ask because I like it when things are a bit different.

I say go for it.
 

bee*

Super_Ideal_Rock
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May 14, 2006
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12,170
I don''t think that would be strange at all. I was going to not have flowers myself until my dad (yep, my dad!) said that he really thinks that I should have them. So I''m going to have them to keep him happy. Personally I think flowers are a bit of an added expense!
 

Rhea

Ideal_Rock
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Oct 20, 2007
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I had a similarly untraditional wedding. 20-25 guests, no walk down the aisle, no attendants. I did carry flowers and gave them to my mother during our very short ceremony. I picked the flowers up from a street vendor for £5 that morning, fresia with long stems, no ribbon, just tape holding them together. I wanted them for our photos.
 

Kelli

Ideal_Rock
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May 27, 2008
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5,455
I think a wrist corsage would be pretty too, just because flowers are such a pretty part of the wedding. But if you don''t want to have them, I see no reason that you need to.
 

merrymunky

Brilliant_Rock
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Oct 17, 2008
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1,069
When my mother got married for the second time at 47 years old, she carried a navy clutch bag with a corsage of flowers attached to it.

It was perfect for her.
 

Fleur

Rough_Rock
Joined
Feb 23, 2008
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60
Ladies: Thanks so much. Loved reading all of your suggestions.

jstarfireb Thanks for the laugh. I actually had one of those 80s (but mine was late 70s) prom wrist corsages. My junior prom date got me a half dozen red roses on a wrist corsage. I think it went up to my elbow and looked like a miniature floral arrangement for a casket! My mom and I still crack up about that.

My biggest concern about carryng a bouquet with no one to hand it off to was mostly about what to do with it when we''re holding hands or when we exchange rings.

I started googling bridal flowers/corsages and came across a pomander ball. I''d never heard of this before. It''s a really pretty floral arrangement with the flowers stuck into a styrofoam ball. The ball is carried on a ribbon loop. I think this might work very well because I could slide it back into the crook of my arm when we''re holding hands or for the ring exchange. It''s often used by flower girls but I found a few pix of brides carrying them and they look very pretty.

Now that I have the logistics figure out, I am really pleased I can carry some flowers.

Thanks everyone for your thoughts.
 

katamari

Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 18, 2008
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2,949
Fleur, I have a friend this summer who is doing all of her flowers in pomander balls. She just posted the pics from her visit with her florist on fb, and they looked great. I am having a completely flowerless wedding, so I totally think it can be done.
 

kittybean

Ideal_Rock
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May 2, 2008
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I love the pomander idea! I think they are a gorgeous way to carry flowers.
 

Fleur

Rough_Rock
Joined
Feb 23, 2008
Messages
60
katamari and kittybean: Thanks for the validation! I''m getting very excited now about this plan. Another thing I can check off the to-do list! yay!!!!
 

Rhea

Ideal_Rock
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Oct 20, 2007
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I can''t find any photos of brides with them, but they are a great idea!

red pomander with dangle thingy.jpg
 

Rhea

Ideal_Rock
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Oct 20, 2007
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6,294
Wow! It looks great. I really love your idea!

Pomander_Belleamiestudios.jpg
 

Fleur

Rough_Rock
Joined
Feb 23, 2008
Messages
60
Thanks for the great pix, Addy. They do look beautiful, don''t they? I''m really pleased with this plan!!
 

urseberry

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Oct 27, 2007
Messages
515
I love the pomader idea. I wanted to add that not having attendants to hold your bouquet is no reason to forgo one, if you would like a traditional bouquet. I had no attendants either, so I handed off my bouquet to my mother, who was sitting in the front row on the aisle. If you would like to have a traditional bouquet, perhaps you could have a close relative or trusted friend hold the bouquet during the ring ceremony? He/she doesn''t have to stand in order to do so.
 
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